Chapter 3: The Way We Were
AUTHOR'S NOTE:
THIS CHAPTER HAS BEEN EDITED! PLEASE REREAD THIS!
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"Take me back into the arms I love
Need me like you did before
Touch me once again."
- Celine Dion
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Jane's eighteenth year
The morning appeared like any other. The way the bright rays burst through the large, dwelling clouds would normally soothe the heart of any in Asgard. The warmth of the rays kissed Jane's skin delicately, though she'd grown bitter to any kindred warmth.
The young lady stood out on the terrace of her brother, Loki's, bedroom. This morning marked two years and one day from her sixteenth year. Not once had the man of her dreams slipped away from reality, but also her heart. The last half of her time in waiting had become a period of mourning.
No longer did she yearn for him to return to her. No longer would she worry for him. Jane could not bear a heavy heart any longer. Two years of waiting were lost. Loki had stolen a great many things, but her biggest gamble had been her patience.
Jane could not give credence to her strong, emblematic feelings toward her cold and heartless older brother. He'd tricked her. He had not come back upon the evening of her eighteenth birthday. In fact, he'd not ever returned from the morning after her ball when he had departed to some other realm to calm a brewing war.
Whilst he was wandering with the vibrant wonder of glory, Jane had been a trinket locked away to be only admired by her family. Odin had made it clear to banish her from returning to Midgard. So long as he lived, she would never step foot outside of the realm that had saved her from death so long ago.
She felt isolated – imprisoned.
The princess admired the mountains in view from the terrace. This view had always been her favorite, and was the reason she'd eventually convinced her mother to switch rooms next door to Loki's. Throughout time, he'd always been her guardian mystery. He was pale when most other Aesir were warm-toned. His eyes were a striking clash of unfamiliar green and place, icy blue.
Time had fooled her into loving him. And like a fool, she'd been thoroughly mocked.
From her recollection, Frigga mentioned his brief return over a year ago. He'd only come to see his father to relay the news of wherever he was. He'd made sure to remain far away from Jane. The young girl had known of his deceit that instant.
Jane began to turn, walking back inside his vacant room. Her eyes scanned over his bed, hands clutching the pendant he'd given her. More than enough time had passed. She would take his unspoken message and move on.
As she neared his large bed in the center of the massive space, she raised her hands over his pillows, carefully setting necklace on the lush fabrics. With the artifact out of her possession, she would be able to move forward with her life.
Without taking another glance at the artifact, she walked out of his quarters. Her attire was no longer soft, feminine dresses and robes, but of a pair of tight leggings that were enchanted to brave severe damage without harming her. A sheer periwinkle fabric hung at her left shoulder and fell nearly to her lower thigh above the back of her knee, replacing the traditional cape the royal family was often seen fashioning.
Light gray under clothes could be seen through the areas without the bright silver armor. Each breast had its own plate, unlike her mother that had one plate covering her chest, rising higher over one shoulder. Finally, a drop in the torso pieces extended to cover her bum, covered in shiny silver plated armor. Her feet and hands were adorned in olive gloves and boots reaching her knees.
As the princess traveled from the living quarters with pronounced haste, the servants and palace workers all greeted her carefully. Jane made a point to not reply or return the greetings. She would no longer accept the image Odin had paved her to be. Over the last year, she'd bribed Sif to teach her how to defend herself.
The task had not been easy, but Jane was not blind to the goddess of war's feelings toward her brother, Thor. Upon mentioning the sentiment, both women had come to an agreement. Now, Jane could best many of the warriors serving the king. Not all, but many, indeed.
Her weapon of choice was daggers custom made for her. The grips of the two smaller weapons extended nearly seven inches, and each side of the grip had a blade tilted had a forty-five degree angle opposite of each other, almost making the shape of lightning. Both duel-sided daggers were carefully stored in their sheathes behind her on her waistband.
Although her hair was still moderately long, Jane had cut off at least a foot and a half of the length the previous night. She had always adored her mane; however, she was tired of being treated like a princess. She wasn't one and had never been one. Her lustrous brown hair fell just over her shoulders in a few dimensional layers.
She had overheard the workers gossiping about how Thor's hair was now longer than hers. She cared not. Her goal was to be as anti-Jane as possible. And she succeeded.
"Jane!" a raspy male voice called after her.
As the girl turned, seeing Dravice, a smile touched her mouth, "Dravice, how are you?"
Dravice, son of the smith that tailored her weapons for her, eagerly caught up to her, "I just rushed over here to train with Lady Sif. She says I have been personally selected by the Allfather to demonstrate my skills."
Although Jane's eyes narrowed, she still held her smile together, "Is that so?"
"Yes, and I could not be happier! My father always said I was the runt of my family. Now, I have the chance to defend my loved ones," he explained.
"I'm very happy for you, Dravice. You've even helped me refine my combat skills. More than that, you're my best friend," she encouraged, her hand fondly covering his shoulder lightly.
"Lady Jane, you've done me a service, too! I can never think how to repay you!"
Jane laughed aloud, "First, you can calm down. You've always been a little boisterous, but never like this. Secondly, please call me Jane. I no longer wish to be seen as the beloved princess. I'm your peer, your friend. Understand?"
"Even so, you're more capable than I. And even though I have lived hundreds of years more than you, you're physically my elder," the blonde adolescent choked.
The lady simply shook her head, "You're hopeless, Dravice. Don't fret, but I'm the one you'll be sparring with today. I want to make an impression on the Allfather just as much as you do."
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Jane's fourteenth year
A loud noise woke the young princess from her deep slumber. As her chest heaved, she sat up and gripped the blanket roughly in shock, "What's going on?"
When no one had answered, she decided that she would ask the guards outside her room what was going on, so she crawled out of bed and moved to the door of her chambers, but did not see any guards.
Lifting a brow, she quietly stepped out of the shadows of her room and into the lit hallway, "What could it be?" Nervous, she bit her lip briefly as she tiptoed along the large golden wall to investigate further.
The fourteen-year-old girl rounded the corner and halted in her tracks. Just down the hall, Loki held a much older woman in his arms. As they continued their...discussion, her legs had essentially given up all functionality. So when she gasped and he opened his eyes at the disturbance, he practically threw the lady of the court she could not recognize in the height of the night out of his arms, but remained where he stood.
"Precocious, little tyrant, Jane. Should you be out at this hour?" he said lowly as he took slow, but earth shattering steps toward her.
Jane started to back away as he drew closer, but still retorted, "You woke me up."
"Impossible. Your room is not on this level let alone on this side of the palace," he reasoned, closing in where she was.
Her breathing grew more urgent, but she refused to give into his taunting, "I had Frigga move me over to this side because I love the view of the mountains. My room is next to yours now."
Instead of continuing forward, he halted, "How...inconvenient."
Once again, Jane bit her lip anxiously. "I'm sorry, I won't tell anyone."
"Just...return to your chambers, little tyrant," he ordered devilishly.
And she did, but could not fall back asleep.
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Jane's nineteenth year
BANG! A large glass fell onto the floor, heard by all within the vicinity. Shouting could be heard from even further away.
"Jane, do you ever think of what your actions will cause?" Thor bellowed, viciously angered.
Remaining stoic, yet forceful, the nineteen-year-old gentlewoman crossed her arms over her armored chest, "Have you finished with this tantrum, Thor?"
"TANTRUM?! I am thoroughly furious at what you've done!" he rationalized quickly, his fists shaking as they firmly held the back of a tall chair in the dining court.
Sighing impatiently, Jane shook her head as her voice rose a bit, "I did what was best for that boy! I saved him. I would rather try to get to the bottom of the attack, instead of bickering about me defending my home."
"You should have waited for me, Odin, or Loki! We're here to defend you and Asgard," he seethed. In a fit of rage, he threw the chair out of the opening between the massive columns supporting the high ceiling, causing a splash in the pond outside.
"Thor, you're not my father. I have no father. What I do is certainly nothing you should reprimand me for. The only one I'll listen to for guidance and punishment is Odin and Frigga. You're my brother, Thor. I love you, and should you be named heir, I will follow you always. Until then, I'm my own person," Jane spat viciously.
"You are just a girl, Jane. You have to be mindful of those who love you, who care for you," he explained, a little more calm than before.
Jane looked away at the empty table, her head shaking, "How can you even ask for me to rely on either you or Loki when you two are always gone?"
Thor moved closer to her place by the table and wrapped his arms around her, "No matter where we are, we shall always hear your cry of need, sister."
Vacantly, Jane waited a few seconds before pushing Thor away from her, "Excuse me for not believing that."
"How can you say that?" her elder brother brokenly asked.
Pointedly, Jane squarely met his hues and replied, "Because neither you nor Loki has ever helped me see them."
"I would never go against the father's orders, Jane."
"You do it all of the damned time, Thor! You're so full of vengeance and your rage-poisoned code of honor. Neither of you will make a good king if you can't see what's right in front of you!"
Thor bit back his menacing retort. Instead, he exhaled and released the tension in his fists, "Jane, what I do on the battlefield and what I am required to do here are two very different things."
"I've defended Asgard a plethora of times when the both of you are away. Even a few times when Odin is gone, too! I may not kill my enemies, but that doesn't mean I can't or won't," the younger girl added. "It's just my preference to choose life over death."
"Your heart is pure, Jane. Make no mistake that is not a weakness. You still achieve a raw innocence I can no longer claim, nor Loki. Battle has made us change in ways we still cannot understand. Although honor is glorious, I have had to do many things I am not proud of in order to gain such titles," Thor gently commented.
"Thank you, Thor. I know you mean well. I just don't think I belong here," she confided quickly. Eventually, she added, "I must go. I think Frigga wished to speak to me in the gardens."
Thor reached for her hand and delicately squeezed, "I've never seen you so lost, passionate, and vigorous as you have been this afternoon."
"You said that battle changed you. Being kept hidden away here has changed me."
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Jane slowly entered the gardens, lulled by the sweet fragrance of the roses, daisies, and lilies scattered throughout the vast, open space. Since childhood, the gardens had always been a private place for her to think, to cry, and to smile.
The breeze stifled all thoughts for a moment, giving her a sense of brief, yet everlasting peace. As her soul was soothed, healed, she opened her eyes, seeing only Loki standing by the small stream in the center of the gardens.
Her breath caught, causing Loki to shift to face her. As she immediately began to turn around, hands claimed her wrists. Jane looked back as the figure of the Loki she'd first saw faded away. "Of course. An illusion," she dryly said without looking at the unfamiliar man holding her in place.
"Jane," he greeted.
"Why are you here? More importantly, why are you accosting me in the one place I thought I could seek solitude?"
"Look at me, please," he replied, simply ignoring her queries altogether.
"You know I can't, brother," Jane stubbornly retorted, emphasizing the one word he could not bear.
His grip over her tightened possessively, "I am not your brother!" His voice was a curt hiss: a whisper rather a statement.
Without further thought, his response triggered the younger royal to glare at him, eyes meeting his open, heated gaze. "Loki," she uttered helplessly.
"Finally," he began as his forehead lowered to rest against hers, "I hear you say my name."
She couldn't remember if she had been as tall the last time they'd been so close on that frightening, maddening sixteenth birthday. Although she certainly did not meet his stature, she'd grown significantly in the three years they'd been apart. Shaking her head as if to pull herself out of his haze, Jane lightly pushed against him in order for him to let her go. "I need you to leave me alone," she pleaded.
"I cannot. I thought time would be good for us both, but I was naive to believe such a farce. You have reason to be cross with me, but please do not seclude yourself from me. I cannot bear it any longer," he admitted softly, desperately.
Boldly, Jane withdrew one arm from his grasp, "Never once did you come to see me, Loki. I waited every day for two years for you: just like you asked me to. I wore that pendant without fail. I thought at the very least you could treat it like a bargain. I give you two years, and you give me what I've always wanted."
Sadly, he asked, "What have you always craved?"
"To know why you've always hated me, yet kissed me out of nowhere three years ago. I want to know you. You showed me that I want to be with you, but I cannot give that to either of us. You tricked me into feeling things I'd have otherwise been ignorant to," she confessed unabashed. Her eyes closed and her hand moved to his cold cheek.
"I cannot confide that information to you yet. You were never a bargain, a trick, or a transaction. You've been a torment to me ever since you came here," Loki urged ardently. His skin tightened at her touch.
Shaking her head, Jane pushed away from him, finding strength from somewhere unknown to her, "I can't trust you anymore. You tricked me. Whether or not you see it that way, I see it that way. And if that matters to you at all, you'll do your best to stay away from me at all costs."
Expression changing, altering, Loki stoically straightened. His arrogant features pronounced just what he cared to portray, "Fine."
But it was not he that walked away from her that day in the gardens, but she from him.
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Breviary-Rose