Author Note: This chapter was originally written as the Mature (M) rating. It was then edited to fit the General rating for our more delicate readers. If you would like to read the T (general) version please close this story and find the T version of ch 25 in the main story.
We also wanted to give a friendly reminder, although in this story the reader is well aware of both Four and Tris's internal thoughts and many actions - - the characters are not privy to, nor making decisions with, all of the information you, the reader, has.
Chapter 25: A Health Scare (M version)
Date: Dauntless Initiation – Stage 2 / Baby Natty is 6 1/2 months old (End of July)
^^ Two Weeks Have Passed ^^
*Tris POV*
"Why is everyone so tired today? Let's move!" Four hollers at us as we take another lap around the training facility. "We are nowhere near done, so don't get lazy on me now."
His scowl can be seen across the room. Between the crankiness both he and Lauren have been showing at training these last two weeks and the workouts, all initiates are exhausted and on edge.
I'm keeping pace with Edward at the front of the group again. If I build up a lead now, I'll be able to slow down and get a good look at the clock on the high wall of the training room when we pass it.
The clock reads 5:42PM. I sigh with relief, I am still well within my time to get to daycare before it closes. The problem is that I have no idea how much longer Four intends to work us.
Though Phase II of Initiation started a couple of days after Visiting day, there seems to be some kind of disagreement about the training curriculum at the top leadership level. I overheard Four talking to Uri's brother about it, mentioning that both he and Lauren are caught in the middle as the different leaders scramble to get the trainers to say something that will support their own personal view.
While it is worked out, the trainers have been showing us minimal combat, and we've been concentrating on conditioning. They haven't given us our Rankings for Phase I yet, either.
The good news is that these two weeks have been used to build endurance. Mine was already decent from my previous training and it has only gotten better. Much better. The time I was able to slip away while at Abnegation has been priceless, but now that I am in Dauntless and my focus is on training, the results are incredible to see. I never dreamed I could feel so strong and capable.
As we finish our last lap and are taking a quick water break I see that Four is standing at the board with his marker in hand. Turning to look at me he waves me over and then turns back to the board as he sees me start to walk towards him.
I bite back a groan when I see he is writing out a list of physical exercises we must complete before being dismissed for the day. I hate burpees, which I see listed throughout. Ugh.
"I know daycare closes at 6:30. What time you need to leave here in order to get Natty on time?" Four asks me quietly without looking at me. I smile with relief, he hasn't forgotten about her, and he cares enough to make sure training is done in time.
"I need to be running out of the training room by 6:15 to be safe," I answer.
He nods and dismisses me. I notice he erases the last two activities he had planned from the board.
"Water time is over, here are the last of your conditioning exercises. As soon as you complete the list you are free to leave for the day. We will meet here tomorrow at 7:30 AM, so get a good night's sleep. You'll need it," he barks at us.
I hear the groans that my group of friends quietly make. Our usual gang has made plans to have a small party tonight right after dinner- drinking and a game of strip poker. Lynn's sister and her roommate will both be at the fence tonight, so they are using her apartment again.
I flat out said no when I was invited. They knew not to push me on it.
I smile at them as they quickly decide to still keep to the original plan. Tomorrow should make for an interesting day of conditioning.
I jump into the list and power through it, Four is packing up but taking the occasional moment to watch us.
"Myra, that is not a true burpee. Do it right or you'll be starting over," Four says calmly.
"Peter! If I see you cutting corners again, I will give up my dinner to make you do this board five times. Don't be pathetic and lazy!" Four hisses cruelly.
"Good job, Edward," he compliments.
I am neck and neck with Edward and I always pride myself on watching my technique. I've noticed that Four is careful not to compliment me too much in front of the group.
Thankfully there was no sign of Marcus on Visiting Day. Nothing remotely romantic has happened between Four and me since that kiss on Visiting Day. We both agreed it was a mistake and put it behind us. Four has been kind and courteous to me, but he is even more careful now as to how he treats me when others are around. He told me this morning that the training instructors will have to meet with leadership for a working dinner, so he wasn't sure what time he would get back to the apartment tonight. He rolled his eyes fearing it would be really late.
When at the apartment, we get along well. We have not discussed Mother or Marcus, but on occasion I catch Four looking very sad and usually after he is unable to look me in the eyes. I believe his reaction at hearing what Marcus had done to Mother was genuine. Although the person I once knew decided to end what we had, I do believe he cared a great deal for Mother.
The baby makes things easy for us at the apartment, she lightens the mood. She really loves Four. There is a part of me that wonders if she somehow senses that he is related to her as much as I am. He is biologically her brother, as much as I am her sister.
I push the thoughts away. Natty is my daughter now. Period.
I finish my exercises and stand; Four and I lock eyes. He turns to look at the clock – 6:10 PM. He smiles and then turns back to me.
I smile back and then avert my eyes. Although my friends still have a few more rounds to go, I stop to tell Christina that I won't be eating dinner in the dining hall. I have leftovers in the fridge and since it is so late I'm just going to turn in early.
Christina frowns, she looks disappointed I will not be at dinner. I smile and ask Chris if she would help me and Natty with a shopping trip one night later this week; Natty is ready to go up a size in clothes. We both laugh at how silly my question was, of course she will be thrilled to. That was like asking Uriah if he would like a piece of Dauntless cake.
Christina, Will and Al wave goodbye as I run out. They know I'm in a rush to pick up Natty.
Having a little more time, I can walk at a normal pace across the compound to get to the daycare.
I think about Christina, and how upset we both were during the capture the flag game. I had to force myself to forgive her, my inclination was to hold on to my anger and hurt feelings, while now I am so relieved I let it go. She is a good friend and I'm glad to have her in my life.
My mind wanders to the subject of forgiveness, and I think about Four and all of the hurt and anger I have been holding for so long. Aside from an ill-advised kiss on Visiting day, more important to me was the conversation we had. It was so clear to me the emotion and shock he felt. I do believe now that Four actually thought that Mother and I would be safe with Marcus. Sadly for us all, he was wrong, just as I was wrong to trust his instincts. But there is nothing that can be done now. Nothing can turn back time and bring her back to us.
I sigh deeply. I want to forgive Four. I want to let go of the rage I feel towards him, especially since he is a Dauntless member and someone that runs in my social circle. Although he and I will not be close after initiation ends and I start my new life with Natty, he is best friends with Zeke, while Uriah is a key part of my social circle. There is bound to be some overlap.
I am trying very hard to no longer see him as Tobias, the boy who broke my heart and then left me with a monster.
I just want to see him as he is now: Four. The grumpy instructor, while also my decent and dependable roommate.
I take a moment before turning the final corner leading to the daycare entrance. Stopping to breathe in and out before proceeding to the daycare center, I allow my mind to wander. I also know that the best thing for Natty and I is for me to really forgive him… to have that peace in my life. I remember a quote Mother read to Caleb and me many years ago when father was working late at a council meeting. She would often use alone time with us to teach us phrases that would inspire us to think about life. I can still picture her smile while she sat next to the warmth of our fireplace.
If we really want to love we must learn how to forgive.
I blink away tears, remembering that day and how anxious I was for Mother to dismiss us so that I could escape to my room. Look at me now, aching to see her once again, having accepted it will never happen while struggling to forgive Four. Struggling to forgive a man, that although has hurt me, I know is still good and decent. I see it every time he is kind to my child. Even if Four and I are not destined to be together romantically, I want to heal. What I have accepted, I know deep down that my mother never blamed him. She knew that he was just as much a victim as she became.
I push the thought away, it is now 6:31PM. I zoned out too long while thinking. Crap! I run into the center, relieved when I see that I am not the only parent that is running a little late. Diana, the center director, flags me down as I am packing up Natty's things. She is still napping in her crib, which is odd at this time of day.
"Hello, Tris. Natty may be going through a growth spurt, or maybe just teething. She was cranky and sleepy all day," Diana mentions. "She never had a fever so we didn't call you."
"Okay, thank you for letting me know. I was already planning to just eat at home and turn in early. I'll make sure she gets a good night's sleep," I promise Diana as I slowly transfer Natty from her assigned crib into my carrier. Feeling her as I do, I notice that she is a little warm, but they also say that's common when a child has just woken up. I'll need to wait a bit before I take her temperature.
"Tris, I know you just arrived to Dauntless – do you have a basic first aid kit at home?" Diana asks.
I frown, racking my brain trying to recall. Natty's always been very healthy; a first aid kit has never been needed. But I quickly remind myself that even if Four does have a first aid kit, medicine for an adult would not be okay for Natty.
Diana nods and run over to her supplies room. She returns with a child's thermometer. "I can't technically give you medicine, but this is something you should always have handy."
"You are so kind, thank you, Diana!" I say warmly. She is always looking out for Natty and me, and once mentioned that she was raised by a single mother. Her father died while out on patrol when she was very young.
We wave good bye as I leave to get Natty home. It's been a realty long day.
+o+ Three Hours Later +o+
My hands shake nervously as I walk around the room holding Natty, trying to comfort her. She is alternating between screaming her head off and coughing. I've tried everything to calm her down, but now she seems to be getting worse and worse as the evening passes. She has refused to eat or drink since I picked up from daycare earlier.
It's almost ten o'clock, and I know she should be sleeping by now. Maybe she slept too much at daycare? Or maybe she is overtired? I know if I ever keep her up too late, she gets hysterical and then has a very hard time falling asleep, even when she desperately needs it.
I kiss her temple and for the first time she feels very warm to me. I have taken her temperature a couple of times this evening, desperately looking for some reason for her to be so upset. It was always within normal range.
I rush to the restroom to grab the thermometer when Natty begins coughing violently. I move her body around to look at her and immediately notice her face is getting red. Is she choking?! Maybe even on her own saliva?
Suddenly the baby vomits; I'm able to catch most of it In my hand and then turn her over so that is falls down and into the toilet. I rub her back as she alternates between screaming in terror and emptying her stomach. I'm afraid she could choke on her own spit up.
And suddenly she is calm. I wet a washcloth to wipe her face and little neck. She looks exhausted. I sit on the toilet seat while grabbing the thermometer, I am shocked to see that she suddenly has a high fever. I close my eyes and try to remember at what temperature it is considered dangerous for a baby.
I know I need to buy an infant fever reducer medicine. I take her to my bed in order to change her into warmer clothes, she is going to have to come with me. I remember all of my friends are probably wasted by now and in party mode. I also know that Monica is a babysitting for another family every night this week. Hannah babysat Natty this past weekend, but I don't have her home number and she lives on the other side of the compound. I'm not even sure I could find her apartment again if I tried.
As I tried to lay down with her earlier, my bed is still unmade, my blanket tossed on the floor and the sheets undone. Suddenly she begins vomiting again. I rush to turn her over, not caring that her vomit is landing all over my pillow and sheets. I am shocked at how much comes out so quickly.
I've never been so scared in my life. She is so small and she can't tell me what is wrong. She can't tell me what she is feeling. She's completely helpless and dependent on me.
Her screams start again, and this time I begin to cry. My poor baby is so sick and I feel as though my heart is being ripped out of my chest. What if this is serious? What if I lose her? I know that would be the final straw for me. Losing my baby is something that I could not bear.
"Tris?!" Four's voice suddenly behind me, startling me. During my hysteria and Natty's screams I didn't even hear him enter the apartment.
"Four!" I sob, my face already wet with tears. I've never been so happy to see him in my entire life. "The baby, she is so sick! I'm so scared, I don't know-"
"I'm here, tell me what's going on," he says calmly while stepping forward to gauge the situation, carefully looking over the baby and then the mess all over my bed. His eyes widening as he places his palm on her forehead. "Run to the bathroom and bring back a moist towel. We are going to quickly wipe her off, and then go to the infirmary."
My lip trembles, he is worried as well. I see it in his eyes.
"She has clean clothes in the drawer-" I call while rushing to get the towel.
"No, it doesn't matter what she is wearing. We need to go quickly. Let's just wipe her off," he assures me. "We'll just wrap her in the clean blanket and go."
I run back and watch as Tobias quickly wipes her down, he grabs my clean blanket off the ground and folds it in half.
"I can carry her, just hand her to me and I'll wrap her tightly in the blanket. If that's okay with you?" he asks.
I nod to agree.
I swiftly place her in the open blanket he's holding and I wrap it tightly around her while Four holds her. She is still crying but seems to feel a little better after just throwing up. I study her closely, feeling her forehead once more.
Suddenly Four's hand is cupping my face, the other holding my child. "It's going to be okay, Tris. I'm with you in this," he finishes.
I nod gratefully, and in that moment I know there is no one else I would rather have helping Natty and me.
Two hours later we return to the apartment, Natty sleeping soundly on Four's chest as I unlock the door and usher them in ahead of me. I follow as Four quietly walks over to the crib. Per the doctor's instructions he lays her tummy down, in case she throws up again while sleeping. My heart skips when Four leans down to kiss her cheek while she sleeps. I smile at him and then lean down to kiss her as well. Standing by my side as he watches her intently. I can see that he is still worried.
I slip my hand in his, our fingers automatically intertwining. He squeezes my hand and then pulls me away from the bed so we can talk.
Smiling sadly at each other, I'm finally able to sigh with relief. The stress I've felt over the last few hours has aged me, almost. I'm exhausted, yet I can't imagine sleeping because my emotions are so heightened.
"Hey, Natty's okay. You can breathe now," Four says, pulling me into his arms. Before he even has me against him I'm wrapping my arms around his waist and hugging him tightly to me.
Natty caught a bad virus, very common for young children. Although it presents as a serious issue, if we keep an eye on it and follow the doctor's instructions she will be fine.
"l'll strip your sheets and get the wash started. Why don't you go over the instructions for tonight, and would you mind reading them out loud? I want to make sure we don't miss anything," Tobias says while he begins pulling the sheets Natty vomited on off my mattress.
My mouth falls open, he's already done so much. It didn't even occur to me that he'd help me this evening with everything that needs to be done. The doctor advised us that Natty needs to be woken up every four hours to be given her medicine and then cool baths as needed.
The doctors want to see her again at 10 AM, as she will most likely get another IV. She was given an IV to push fluids because she was getting dehydrated. They warned us not to feed her unless she acts thirsty, and then only a small amount of pediatric juice that will supply nutrients and electrolytes. They don't want her to throw up again if she drinks too much.
"Four, are you sure? What about training tomorrow morning?" I say meekly.
He turns to look at me, he looks as tired as I feel. "I thought about it on the walk home. There is no way I'm leaving tonight on your shoulders alone. We can do it together," he insists. "Now that the baby is settled, I am going to run out and handle things. I'll go to Max and get permission ahead of time excusing us both from training tomorrow. We are going to be up most of the night and there is no way Natty can go to daycare tomorrow."
I nod with relief.
"And then I'll need to wake Lauren up, I'm sure she will cover for me. She can run my initiates through conditioning alongside her Dauntless born," Four states as he sets the washing machine to start on my dirty sheets.
I nod. "Thank you, Four. For everything. I… I'm not sure what would have happened if you didn't come home when you did." My voice trails off. I swallow the lump that has formed in my throat.
Four is now standing in front of me. He seems nervous now, rubbing the back of his neck.
"Tris, I want to talk to you about something… That fight we had on your birthday, I just want to make sure you know that I think you are an amazing mother. Natty is very lucky to have you," he pauses, looking sheepish. "I regret snapping at you so harshly. I'm not a perfect person and my delivery is definitely an area in my life that can use some work. I'm sorry if I hurt you."
Hearing him say the words lifts the pressure I didn't even realize I had been carrying on my shoulders. I often doubt myself; it's hard to swallow the realization that this little girl should have had Mother to call momma. Instead she had to settle for me.
Before I can catch myself tears fill my eyes spilling down my cheeks, my lip trembles as I look away to compose myself.
"Hey! Natty's going to be okay, Tris. Don't be scared. I'll rush back to help," he assures me, looking concerned for me. "You aren't alone, Tris. Not now."
Four assumes I'm worried for the baby, not realizing how much his praise and apology meant to me.
** Tobias POV **
I just spent five minutes knocking on Lauren's apartment door, trying to wake her up. She finally opened it.
"Hi, Lauren. Sorry to wake you, I know the initiates are training early tomorrow morning," I say hurriedly. She is wearing a fitted tank top that barely covers her firm stomach, and her usual silk panties. I quickly stop my eyes from roaming down after realizing how skimpily dressed she is.
I just left Max's after getting his approval to allow Tris and me to miss training tomorrow. He made it very clear that she will need to make up the training day on an initiate rest day as soon as the baby is well. He also made it clear that it would be my responsibility to oversee her make up day. Now I just need to let Lauren know that Max is expecting her to take on my initiates.
As Lauren is a friend, I would much rather she do it for me as a favor versus feeling obligated because I went to Max first.
"Four. Well, this is a surprise. I don't mind being woken up... by you," Lauren smiles flirtatiously.
"I need your help, it's rather important," I say firmly. I am not interested in our flirtatious banter right now.
"Sounds serious, go ahead," Lauren encourages me, I now have her full attention.
"My roommate and initiate, Tris, her baby is ill. We just were able to leave the infirmary-" I say before Lauren cuts me off.
"Is the baby okay?!" Lauren asks, her face instantly showing concern.
I nod. "The baby is home now, but with a strict set of instructions for her overnight care. The bottom line is, I need a huge a favor, Lauren. Would you handle training the transfer initiates along with your group tomorrow?" I pause. "Please?"
Lauren immediately nods in agreement. "Of course, that's no issue. Just more people for me to yell at as they run," she says with a smile.
I nod with thanks about to say goodbye so I can rush back to the apartment when Lauren reaches to grab my hand.
"Four, you're welcome to sleep here...again," she says seriously, her eyes conveying a message of promise for more than just 'sleep'.
My back stiffens at her implication.
"No, I want to help with the baby tonight. It's too much for one person to do alone," I state matter-of-factly.
Lauren nods with understanding, her smile letting me know that everything is still okay between us.
"Lauren, nothing has changed for me. We've talked about this," I sigh. "Some might even say we've talked the subject to death."
She rolls her eyes while nodding. "You know, I really wanted to have sex with you. We didn't have to pretend like that. It could have been real," she pouts. "Faking it was your choice, Four. I wanted to be with you."
A frown crosses my face, remembering my poor choice to not only stay on Lauren's couch all those nights, but also to make everyone believe our relationship had become sexual. In reality, it was nothing like that. I have never had a romantic relationship with Lauren; we've never even kissed.
"Lauren, I am not looking to hook up with anyone right now. I just needed people off my back about not having sex recently," I explain, while lying through my teeth. It's never bothered me what people think. I dislike nosy people, they irritate me. I know I did this because of Tris.
"I'd appreciate it you never told anyone about our lie, I just…" I rub the back of my neck with my hand nervously. "I don't even know why."
Lauren shrugs, I know she doesn't really care. The main reason we called it off when we did is because she was horny and wanted to hook up with another friend, but didn't want it to look like she was stepping out on me.
"Four, forget about it. I'll never tell anyone; it's no longer something that anyone thinks about anyways. Although not exclusively, I'm dating Charlie now," she reminds me.
Smiling at her, I thank her again and quickly excuse myself. I need to get back.
I cringe as I walk home, remembering the day I choose to lie to everyone: that dinner where I realized that there was something between Tris and Uriah. I was so jealous and bitter. I couldn't sleep at home. I lied about Lauren and I having sex because was angry and embarrassed. I did this because I'm ashamed to be a twenty year old virgin, while Tris has had a child with some amazing guy who is now dead, and was just starting a romance with the brother of my best friend.
What a waste of energy, Tris didn't care in the least about me and Lauren. She is so over me. And now that I know about what my father did to her, ruining her life, how could I blame her?
My heart lurches when I think about Natalie and how my father is truly a monster. Tris's mother is dead.
Something I had believed about my own mother for many years.
It was the shock of my life when Evelyn revealed herself to me. In her desperation to escape Marcus, she faked her death and left. She left, while leaving me behind.
My mother invited me to leave Dauntless and join her in leading Factionless, assuring me that her people would rise and end the five factions. Some of my mother's points rang true to me. In many ways the concept of being one way, to fit into one faction, does not sit well with me. I don't believe that being just one thing is being the best person that one can be.
Evelyn confessed that she had made a mistake in abandoning me and wanted to rebuild our relationship.
I have not heard from her since I sent her the note refusing her offer. I never even considered it, not for one moment. Deep down, even then, I knew that if there was even a chance that Tris would choose Dauntless…that is where I needed to be.
Even with my hesitation over the factions, it was never enough to completely give up on Tris. I quickly push thoughts of Evelyn away. She's not a part of my life in any way.
My only concern is Natty right now and helping Tris to care for her.
I've realized that all of my feelings for Tris that I have been trying to push away are still there. As much as I wanted to hate her, I never could. How could I hate the only girl that I have ever loved? How could I hate the girl who gave me her heart, only for me to treat her so cruelly when I said goodbye?
I know this is going to be a long and stressful night with Natty. Breaking into a jog, I feel a need to rush back to make sure that both Natty and Tris are okay.
** Tris POV **
As Natty sleeps and I continue to disinfect the apartment, I keep glancing at the front door in hopes that he will return soon. I scold myself for being ridiculous, I try to ignore my jealous feelings towards Lauren. I know that he is probably with Lauren by now, he needs to ask her to handle his training responsibilities tomorrow and he said he would go to her apartment after he spoke with Max.
I have no right to be angry about Four and Lauren having been together, it had nothing to do with me. It's not like Four and I were together, or even civil during that time. Still, every time he is with her now, it eats at me. I'm so jealous, no matter how much I try to push the feelings away.
My heart flutters; he has really pulled through for me tonight. If I am honest with myself, Four has been really good with Natty for a while. I have no doubts that he cares deeply for the baby. My heart melts every time I see proof of it.
I close my eyes replaying everything Four did tonight. He took the lead at the infirmary; when they minimized our concerns and wanted us to just sit and wait, Four jumped into action, respectfully but forcefully demanding that a doctor see the baby immediately.
"This is a serious matter, our baby needs medical attention now. I want to speak to a supervisor, immediately!" Four growled, his tone sending shivers down my spine.
Our baby. Four called Natty our baby. And it made my heart skip a beat. He pushed and pushed until Natty got the help she needed. He was strong when I needed him the most.
I can't deny what I have been fighting for so long. It's not even about the love I used to feel for him.
I am falling in love with Four, as he is now. And it scares me, because I know what it feels like to be hurt by him.
I jump, startled when he rushes through the front door. Our eyes meet. He looks so concerned but then relaxes when he sees that I am calm and Natty is still sleeping. We exchange a small smile.
"Tris, how is Natty? Has she been sleeping the whole time I was gone?" Four asks me while checking on her himself and then walking over to me.
"She has, everything is okay." I pause, watching him step closer to me. "I'm so glad you're back, Four."
"Me too, Tris," he says while tucking a strand of hair behind my ear.
We sit down to have a cup of tea, Four fills me in on the arrangements he made with Max and Lauren. Four gets out the instructions from the doctor and we set up Natty's medicine and set alarms.
"Four, I want to thank you for handling things so well at the infirmary." I pause to compose myself. "You got Natty the care she needed."
The tips of Four's ears turn red and he nods, he seems embarrassed to hear my praise.
"And I have to admit, after we were seen and Natty was cleared of anything serious… I really enjoyed being at the infirmary. Are the doctors Dauntless trained?" I ask curiously and then a yawn takes over, and Four's eyes widen. I am just now realizing how exhausted I am.
"I'm not sure about the doctors' training and crap! I need to get your sheets in the dryer, it will take at least an hour to dry," Four mumbles as he runs to take care of the laundry.
I smile at him, he is still so sweet. I see it in the moments he lets his guard down, when he drops the façade of cold instructor.
Returning, he sighs, sitting back down at the barstool that is next to mine. "Sorry, I should have moved them over earlier," he mumbles.
"Thank you, Four. For everything you have done for us." I pause to compose myself. "It means so much to me, what I want to say is… You mean so much to me."
Our eyes lock, Four seems to be studying me so intently.
"Tris, I have to tell you that-"
We both are startled when Natty screams from her crib. I know my baby's cries, this one is pure terror. I reach her first and scoop her in my arms, her face is red and she screams, seeming as though she is in agony.
"Four?!" I cry, panicked.
"Remember what Dr. Paul said about Natty, she will have an upset stomach and as a baby the feeling of nausea will scare her. But it is not as bad as it seems," Four says calmly while rubbing my back.
Suddenly Natty projectile vomits – all over me. My shirt, my hair, even down my cleavage. We rush her into the bathroom as she continues. It gets all over me. I'm sure I look horrified and Four's mouth is hanging open.
"Sit," Four instructs me as he guides me to sit on the closed toilet seat. He turns on the shower and brings over a plastic bag for the soiled clothes.
Natty vomits once more and then she appears to soothe herself.
"That must have given her some relief, she just needed to get it out," Four whispers.
I nod, starting to feel gross now that I'm completed covered in baby vomit. "She has calmed down, but we need to clean up. Do you mind checking the water temperature? Cool water will help with her fever," I ask him.
After checking the water temperature Four and I stare at each other while standing close together in the bathroom. I need to get undressed and get in.
Clearing his throat, "Tris, I'll take Natty and bring her to you after you are done cleaning yourself off. Please throw your clothing in the plastic bag, I'll start the next load of laundry."
I watch as Four walks out of the bathroom with Natty, my heart beating out of my chest. I quickly shower and then call for Natty for when I am ready.
"You decent?" Four asks before entering the bathroom with the baby.
"Well, I'm in the shower…but just pass me the baby without looking," I instruct him.
I hear Four chuckle, as he walks in. Natty is naked already as his hands reach into the shower, past the curtain, he assures me his eyes are closed.
"I've got her," I tell Four. True to his word, his eyes are tightly closed.
She is a little slippery, I've never been skilled at bathing the baby while standing in the shower. "Four, will you stay in the bathroom? In case I need you to grab her?"
"Of course, let me know how I can help," Four says. "I also laid out her clothes and diaper. She's due for her medicine too. I've got it all ready for her."
After Natty is clean and wet I realize how slippery she really is. I'm scared Four may drop her if he does his eyes-closed-grab thing. I bite my lip nervously.
"Four, she's ready for you, but… Well…" I say uneasily. "She's really slippery, I'm scared I'll drop her while handing her to you."
I hear him clear his throat, sounding nervous as well.
"Tris, I promise not to look at you but we should open the curtain so I can grab the baby while seeing what I'm doing," he says nervously.
I hold Natty to my chest as Four slowly opens the curtain, our eyes meeting. I feel my cheeks get red.
Four nods at me, his eyes never roaming down. I kiss Natty's head before I lean towards him so he can grab her. I try to ignore the way my stomach jumps at being so close to him while naked.
When our eyes meet, all I think about is how much I want him and also how exposed I am.
** Tobias POV **
I wipe my palm on my pants before opening the shower curtain. I remind myself to only look in Tris's eyes.
Grab the baby and go.
Grab the baby and go.
Grab the baby and go.
Holy shit! Tris looks so good.
Tris blushes, I nod to let her know I'm ready when she is. I watch as she kisses Natty's head and then leans towards me so that I can grab the baby. Looking down at the baby so I can grab her I can't help but see Tris' beautiful breasts, I quickly turn my attention back to Natty so I can grab her.
Tris frowns, I can see she is upset as I pull Natty to my chest and wrap a towel around her. I'm about to step out of the bathroom when the look on Tris's face burns into me.
Making sure Natty is warm and wrapped tightly I turn my attention to Tris who now has the curtain positioned in a way that covers her body, "Hey, um…I hope I didn't make you uncomfortable. I can see you are upset."
"It's not you, it's me. I'm just embarrassed…I just, I guess I just have the same insecurities I had the last time you saw my boobs!" Tris ends with a self-deprecating joke. I hear the sadness in her voice.
"As I told you that night, your breasts are amazing and perfect. You have absolutely nothing to be embarrassed about," I say firmly.
"Thank you, um… You better take Natty, I'll be out soon," Tris says, she gives me a smile.
My heart is beating out of my chest, I try to forget about how amazing her tits looked. The memory of kissing and touching her breasts is one that I have fantasized about many times over the years. Any sensual thoughts have always been about her, only her.
I push those thoughts aside and concentrate on Natty. She is completely exhausted from getting sick. She takes her medicine easily and I'm so relieved that she doesn't throw it up. I'm almost done dressing her when Tris steps out of the bathroom wrapped only in a towel.
Any awkwardness forgotten as Tris rushes over to see how her baby is doing. Tris kisses Natty on the cheek while I hold the baby in my arms.
"I've got her, if I walk her around I can tell she is about to zonk out. Get dressed, I'll put her to sleep," I offer. "I'll make sure the alarm is set for her next medicine time."
I'm surprised when Tris reaches up to kiss my cheek, "Four, thank you for everything. It means so much to me," she whispers.
I nod, watching as Tris walks past me to grab a shirt and panties out of her dresser. She walks back into the bathroom to change there.
I gulp quickly, admiring how beautiful she is.
Natty is sleeping soundly when I place her tummy down in her crib. I stand quietly next the the crib watching the baby closely. I love her so much, I can't imagine if something ever happened to her.
I love this baby.
When did this happen? I don't even know the answer. I just know that it's true.
I lose track of time as I stand there, watching the baby sleep peacefully. Suddenly I feel Tris's arms circle around my waist as she hugs me. My arms automatically hug her back.
I lean down and kiss Tris on the forehead before pulling her away from the crib.
Now that the baby is not in my arms I take a moment to appreciate how fucking hot Tris looks. She is wearing an oversized shirt and I can only guess panties underneath. I get aroused just thinking about how beautiful she is, and what it feels like to hold her close to me.
I run my hands up and down the sides of her arms while leading her to my bed.
"Your sheets won't be dry for a while and then then we'd need to make your bed. Why don't you just lie down with me?" I ask huskily, trying to control my voice to stay calm.
Tris turns around in my arms to face me, her hands now resting on my chest as she nods. "Thank you, Four," she whispers. She's staring at my lips again.
I can't take it anymore. I lean down and capture her lips with my mouth, kissing her hungrily and forcefully. There is no mistake this time; I want to kiss her. I need to kiss her.
Tris moves her arms around my neck, standing on her tiptoes to press herself closer to me. I deepen the kiss, my tongue invading her mouth as our kiss becomes frantic. My hands move down her lower back, then grabbing her ass and squeezing and pushing her tightly against me.
"Four," she whimpers while softly raking her nails through my hair. I begin kissing down her neck, seeing her tattoo of ravens on her collarbone. I gently trace my fingers along the three birds before kissing each one. Having noticed right when she first got her tattoos, I bring her right wrist to my lips and kiss the fourth raven. She trembles in my arms.
"Tris," I whisper, I'm desperate to have more of her.
We look into each other's eyes and smile while slipping our exploring hands up the other's shirt. We grin as we explore and touch each other, I cup her breast then rolling her nipples with my fingers. Tris gasps as I bend down and lick her nipple over her shirt.
I pull off my shirt, I've not shown my chest to anyone since I last showed it to Tris while in Abnegation. She admires my built chest, tracing her fingertips up and down my stomach.
Suddenly her fingertips trace the start of my tattoo that is visible to her.
"Would you like to see my tattoo?" I ask. Tris nods immediately to encourage me.
I turn my back to her and hear her gasp. It's the first time I've shown anyone.
I quickly explain that having the five factions on my tattoo is important to me because I don't agree people should be one thing. I want to work on many different traits.
"Four, it's incredible," she whispers and suddenly her arms wrap around my waists and she is planting loving kisses on my back.
My dick actually twitches over how loving and kind Tris is being.
When I can't take another moment I turn around to face her, kissing her once more. Her mouth opens hungrily to kiss me with ardor.
I slowly begin to pull her shirt off, careful to make sure she is comfortable. Tris smiles at me as I do. I kiss her again while backing her towards the bed.
"You're so beautiful, Tris. Your body is amazing, you are amazing," I say while kissing her neck her shoulders.
Tris whimpers with passion. I pull the covers back and smile as we both lie down and embrace, kissing once again. I pull her close to me, letting her feel how hard I am.
"Oh, Four… You're so- I'm so- I need you," she says while pressing close to me. I lean down and begin gently kissing her tits.
When Tris arches her back I slide one hand down to gently trace the top elastic of her underwear. It's my way of asking her if this is okay. I want to pleasure her. More than I've ever wanted to do anything before.
Tris gives me a small laugh, "If I remember correctly, you owe me a belated birthday gift."
I smile, remembering we were waiting until her seventeenth birthday for me to use my hand to make her come.
"Can I give it to you now?" I ask huskily. "Better late than never."
"Yes, please." She moans. I lean down kissing between her breasts, then to her stomach slowly. My fingers hook into the side of her panties and I begin to pull them down slowly. She mewls with anticipation.
With only details I've heard from friends as a guide I move forward. Once her panties are off I move up to kiss her again, our tongues moving together in unison. My hand slips down her stomach slowly until I am touching her sweet lips. She is so wet for me, which I know is a good thing. She wants me as much as I want her.
I lay her on her back and push myself roughly in between her legs, Tris panting and pushing her core against my erection. I quickly slip my hand back in between us. She cries out loudly as I begin my slow strokes around her clit. Tris moans softly while throwing her head back. I slowly slip one finger inside of her. Tris kisses my lower lip and whimpers.
Thinking only to myself, I'm so glad Zeke has always been so candid with details of his female conquests. His complete lack of propriety is priceless to me in this moment.
I touch her gently, while experimenting with what she likes based on the noises and small movements she makes. I've never touched a woman in such an intimate way. Although nervous, I'm driven by desire.
I'm stroking inside her of her with two fingers, watching as she slowly begins to build up to her orgasm. Her breathing becomes more and more shallow. She is panting and writhing against my hand, slowly at first and then getting more and more bold.
Her kiss on my mouth becomes frantic, as she begins bucking her hips.
"Oh, oh, oh, yesssssss!" Tris cries out, I feel her clenching around my fingers and her fingertips dig into my shoulders.
Tris is completely spent as she falls back on the bed, a fine sheet of sweat along her brow. She is gasping to catch her breath. She still hasn't opened her eyes to look at me.
"Oh, Four. That was amazing, I mean...wow." Tris breathes out, looking dazed as her eyes open to meet mine.
She suddenly bites her lip and begins stroking my shaft above my pants. I close my eyes and enjoy the sensation for a moment. Coming to my senses I still her hand and pull it towards me to kiss it. "Tris, I can't… If you touch me like that, I am going to want to take this all the way," I pause to kiss her shoulder. "I need to stay in control."
She nods her head, understanding we need to keep ourselves in check.
I smile at her, "Besides, I want tonight to be all about you."
I roll off of her, and laying on my side while facing her, still pressing my body close to her side. I lean down and begin kissing her slowly. Tris smiles against my mouth and guides my hand back to her core, then bites her lip nervously. I smile, thrilled she likes me touching her.
I continue to pleasure her, and she responds very well. When we aren't kissing, my mouth is kissing her breasts. I love feeling her come around my fingers, and I love that I'm able to make her feel so good.
After an hour of pleasuring her again and again, Tris begs me to hold her so we can both sleep. I'm also exhausted so I pull her naked body closely to me. I watch her lovingly as she dozes off, a small smile on her lips.
I kiss her forehead while she sleeps.
Suddenly guilt racks through me when I think of Uriah. I can only assume they aren't exclusive, but it still really bothers me. Zeke was just telling me at breakfast this morning that Hana is falling in love with Natty. Zeke and Shauna then joked that Uriah's love life will take all pressure off of them to give Hana a grandbaby. I just listened, not adding anything.
I don't know what to do or think. All I know is that holding a sleeping Tris in my arms feels right.
++o Chapter End +o++
END OF PART III