Dream time! Well, not quite yet… More reviews would be nice, please!
Artemis: -talking to the authoress- May I have my nachos with caviar before we begin?
Authoress: -backs away a little- Geez, Artemis; what's wrong with you? We can't have a Hermio with fishy-nacho breath!
Artemis: -grumbles- Well, we don't have someone to play a male version of Helena anyway.
Authoress: -thinks with her chin in her hand- You're right. We need a Helenus.
Minerva: What kind of name is that?
Authoress: Do you have any better ideas?
Anna-Maria: -jumps on Minerva before she can reply- Stop fussing, Demetria. Hermio is in love with Lysandra and Helenus is in love with you – but we need a Helenus before that can happen.
Authoress: I have an idea. But you three need costumes first. –snaps her fingers-
Anna-Maria: -glances down at her costume and screams- Too many frills! And the skirt is too puffy!
Authoress: I'll fix that. –snaps her fingers again-
Anna-Maria: That's better, thank you.
Artemis: -takes one look at Anna-Maria and falls down because of how pretty she looks-
Minerva: -glares at the authoress- Hey, my skirt is too puffy, too!
Authoress: -glances at Minerva for a second with disinterest- Yes, but the puffiness suits you.
Minerva: -looks at the Authoress in disbelief- Do you know who you are talking to?
Authoress: Yes; Minerva Paradizo, whiney French girl genius.
Anna-Maria and Artemis: -try not to laugh – and fail-
Minerva: -stamps her foot- I am NOT whiney!
Authoress: Whatever. -snaps her fingers- We still need a Helenus.
Brown-haired Boy: -appears- Where am I?
Artemis: Who's he?
Authoress: His name is Rick Malhotra. He's going to be our Helenus.
Anna-Maria: -looks slightly puzzled- Isn't Malhotra your last name?
Artemis: Is this guy your brother?
Authoress: -frowns- My brother's eight. Does Rick look eight years old to you?
Artemis: He may have an overactive pituitary gland.
Rick Malhotra: -frowns at Artemis- Hey, I'm not deaf or mute, okay? Oh, oh. I hope Nikki and Malli didn't hear that.
Minerva: Who and who?
Anna-Maria: Don't you mean 'who and whom'?
Minerva: -glares- Don't correct my grammar.
Authoress: Malli and Nikki; Rick's best friends, Nicole Johnson and Mallika Kapoor. Nikki is deaf, but she uses a hearing aid. Mallika, unfortunately, is mute.
Rick Malhotra: Yes, but that doesn't stop her from doing anything she wants to do.
Authoress: -whispers to Anna-Maria- They're all my characters, too. Rick has a crush on Mallika; who has been his best friend for years.
Rick Malhotra: -doesn't hear the authoress because he is talking to Artemis- And Malhotra is a fairly common Indian surname.
Artemis: I thought the authoress was Pakistani.
Authoress: I am, but the partition didn't take place all that long ago; I have Indian relatives. Besides, Malhotra is just a penname.
Rick Malhotra: -blinks- What did you mean by 'Helenus'? I have to meet Malli, her gymnastics competition is today!
Artemis: Doesn't it bother you that your two best friends are girls?
Rick Malhotra: No. Doesn't it bother you that a girl you don't like is after you?
Artemis: Yes.
Minerva: I hope you were referring to Anna-Maria.
Anna-Maria: -glares at Minerva- No, you deuchbag! Artemis was referring to you!
Authoress: -interrupts and snaps her fingers- Sorry, Rick; I forgot you were busy.
Rick Malhotra: -disappears-
Black-haired Guy: -appears-
Authoress: Meet Robert.
Artemis: Surname?
Authoress: I haven't come up with one yet. He lives in medieval times; and he's read A Midsummer Night's Dream, so he knows all the lines.
Artemis: I doubt we will be using the actual lines.
Minerva: How can he be Helenus? I can't even see the top of his head!
Authoress: It's not my fault you're a midget. And Robert's only six foot three; besides, Helena is supposed to be taller than Hermia, thus our Helenus must be taller than our Hermio.
Robert: Do you mind? I have my tutorial session with Marie in a half hour; and she always meets me in the garden right about now.
Artemis: Who's Marie?
Authoress: Princess Marie Cynthia Guinevere Rosanna. Robert is the royal tutor; even though he's only a year older than Marie.
Anna-Maria: How old are you, Robert?
Robert: Seventeen.
Anna-Maria: Are you in love with Marie?
Robert: -looks uncomfortable- What kind of question is that?
Anna-Maria: But are you?
Authoress: He does, but he doesn't know it yet.
Robert: Technically, you just told me; so I do know now.
Anna-Maria: He reminds me a bit of Artemis. Except for the tall height and eye-color.
Authoress: Coincidence. –snaps her fingers- Good-bye, Robert.
Robert: -disappears-
Minerva: -throws herself at the spot where Robert dematerialized- My Helenus! No!!!!
Authoress:-rolls her eyes at Minerva and thinks 'You're pathetic'- I thought you couldn't see the top of his head.
Minerva: -sniffles- No, but the rest of him was pretty cute.
Authoress: Okay, that's just gross. And didn't you like Artemis?
Minerva: -lights up with the memory- Oh yeah! Arty, where are you?
Artemis: -hides behind Anna-Maria- Hide me.
Anna-Maria: -notices the Readers; and, more importantly, what they're eating- Hey, isn't that your plate of nachos with a side of caviar, Artemis?
Artemis: -peeks over her shoulder- What? –jumps on Readers- That's my caviar; give it back!
Minerva: -sobs- Now who will be my Helenus?
Authoress: -grins slyly and snaps her fingers- I have an idea…
Minerva: -sniffs the air- Oh, no.
Anna-Maria: -worries- Why do I recognize that smell?
Mulch Diggums: -appears- What in Frond's name am I doing here? And – why is Fowl fighting over a plate of nachos and fish eggs?
Authoress: Mulch, we are performing our own version of A Midsummer Night's Dream. We need you to be our Helenus.
Minerva: NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Anna-Maria: -tries really, really hard not to laugh – and fails-
Mulch: What? No way, forget it! You're out of your mind, you crazy Mud-girl!
Authoress: -growls at Mulch and picks up her cell-phone- You better be Helenus or I'm cancelling your blind date for next week!
Mulch: -freezes- You wouldn't.
Authoress: I would.
Mulch: Fine, I'll be your Hel-whatever-the-name-was.
Minerva: NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Anna-Maria: Wow, that's several more exclamation points than last time.
Authoress: -looks around at the scuffle between Artemis and the Readers and Minerva's continuous crying- We can't work like this! We'll have to postpone the play till the next update.
Anna-Maria: -looks thoughtful- Want to grab a bite to eat?
Authoress: -smiles- Sure.
Anna-Maria and Authoress: -leave-
Artemis: -tears the nachos away from the Readers- I'll join you in a few minutes!
Minerva: No, you won't!
Readers: -jump on Minerva- Quit whining, you dumb blonde!
Minerva: I am NOT whining; and I am NOT a dumb blonde!
Artemis: Well, you can't be a dumb redhead or a dumb brunette.
Minerva: I'm dying my hair after this!
Gaspard Paradizo: -pops up out of nowhere- Honey, you can't dye your hair.
Minerva: NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Readers: Wow, even more exclamation points!
I apologize if I've offended anyone by the 'dumb blonde' thing. A lot of my friends are blondes, and I really doubt that hair color is a characterizing trait – I just wanted to slip that in. Obviously you can tell I'm not too fond of Minerva. Reviews would be nice!