A/N1: I quite like the idea of people looking out for and/or teasing Touka but is oblivious about how everyone is working together. And thus, this fic was born.
Many thanks to my amazing beta xxxDreamingFlowerxxx. You're awesome! Any remaining mistakes are mine.
(Additional thanks to TheLuckyFish for pointing out that I accidentally uploaded chapter 2 twice. This is now the correct version for chapter 3)
Enjoy!
Fire and ice have a strange relationship. Both need each other to exist and yet, when they are put together, they become locked in conflict, each trying to cancel each other out. The result?
A contradiction. An endless paradox in itself.
Touka may not know it, but she herself is full of contradictions. She may say one thing but act like another. Being an intelligent person, Kaneki has long since realised this particular trait in Touka. Not that he's going to point it out to her, of course. He still prefers his head attached to his neck and his body in one piece. He doesn't have a death wish.
So he decides to keep quiet about the times, where her cold facade cracks a little, and her concern and worry seeping through her impenetrable armour.
Tsukiyama had told Touka that she has changed. A lot. The ice in her gaze no longer as cold as it used to be.
But of course, if ice melts, then fire must take its place.
While walking along the upper levels of Anteiku, Touka knows that Kaneki is teaching Hinami and decided to drop by. As she walked past the door, she noticed that it's ajar and there is a small crack. She peered in.
Her jaw dropped. Kaneki was in a compromising position with Hinami and Touka immediately feared the worst for her.
"KANEKI! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?" Touka slammed the door open and barged into the room, eyes wild.
The person in question was currently sitting on the floor, with Hinami's face hovering very closely to his face. Worst of all, Hinami was sitting on his lap.
Her frantic mind began to worry excessively.
Has Kaneki been making his moves on her? Did he manipulate Hinami's gullible nature? Is he deflowering her pure, innocent sister? Or worse yet, has he already done it? Because if he did... Her fists tightened.
She stormed over and yanked Hinami off him.
"Touka onee-chan? What's wrong?" Hinami squeaked, looking just as surprised as Kaneki.
He, however, still had the cheek to look completely innocent. He didn't even look embarrassed or anything. In fact, he looked absolutely confused.
"Uh... I'm teaching Hinami-chan."
She jabbed her finger at him and demanded, "Teaching what exactly? That you had to get close to her and... and..." She sputtered in rage. "And tainted her with your corrupted self!"
"I was teaching her about the human body, especially the skeletal and muscular systems," He said calmly.
"Lies!" She snapped and glared at him. How dare he still try to deny it?
"It's the truth. We weren't doing anything bad, I swear." Eyes wide, he lifted his hands in surrender.
"Don't think I'm a fool! You were doing some indecent things and you're lucky I haven't gouged out both of your eyes and make you eat them!"
Fearing the situation would spin out of control, Hinami decided to pipe up, "Onee-chan, it's the truth."
Touka blinked and turned around to face her. She gave the best supportive look she could muster. "Don't be afraid to tell me the truth. I'll protect you from horrible people." With that, she shot a disdainful glance at Kaneki, who still looked as blank and confused about the entire affair.
Hinami giggled and the suddenness of it shocked Touka, causing her to direct her gaze at Hinami.
"Don't worry. Onii-chan was teaching me about our facial muscles and how they are attached to our skull. He was showing me how our muscles work together to allow us to make different expressions."
And Touka felt like the whole world had crumbled away from her feet. It was a misunderstanding. A horribly embarrassing misunderstanding, where she mistook their physical closeness to be something more. Where all along, Hinami was just observing him. And now, thinking back...there really wasn't anything discriminating when she stormed into the room.
Blood rushed to her cheek, "Ah, Hinami. I apologise for this misunderstanding." She took a step back. And another. Both of them looked at her with identical looks of amusement.
Hinami replied. "It's alright," smiling back at Touka. Meanwhile, Kaneki being the intelligent person he is, realised something valuable from watching the exchange between Touka and Hinami. When he was trying to explain to Touka, she did not believe his words at all. But when it came to Hinami, Touka immediately believed her and looked extremely apologetic for her outburst.
By nature, Kaneki doesn't bear grudges but this chance was just too good to miss.
Touka caught the unholy gleam in his eyes and dread filled up her heart. Before she could stop him, the words were out.
"Touka-chan~ what did you think we were doing~?" Kaneki singsonged, looking far too smug, that bastard.
"Oh... Err, it was nothing." She answered lamely and mentally cringed at her pathetic reply.
"But you were looking almost half-mad with worry and anger. What did you think happened?" Hinami looked far too innocent, with her head tilted to one side and confusion surrounding her like a haze.
Touka frantically scanned the room, trying to come up with a decent excuse. While she was casting her eyes around for answers, Hinami shared a secret look of amusement with Kaneki.
It's always fun to tease Touka onee-chan, isn't it? Her expression seems to communicate.
Kaneki, knowing that he had an ally on his side, grinned back.
"I thought… I could smell Rize in this room!" Touka blurted, and then paused. For a tense moment, expectant silence filled the room, where she repeatedly prodded her mind for further inspiration.
"And I thought that Rize took over Kaneki's body! And you were about to attack Hinami, so I stepped in. Yeah, of course I was scared for you. So there," Touka declared and folded her arm, apparently satisfied with her explanation.
But Hinami turned her head to Kaneki and asked, "Didn't she mention something about tainting me with your corrupted self?"
Touka froze.
A slow answering grin spread across his face and he looked at Touka with one eyebrow raised, "Yeah, what did you mean by that exactly?"
Goddamnit, Kaneki. You and your big mouth. She wasn't even bothering with subtlety now; she was stabbing her brain for answers, while squirming like a worm on a hook and fidgeting on the spot.
"Uh... I was shocked at that moment in time. And I may have been rather liberal in the words I used. Rest assured Hinami, I meant no disrespect to Kaneki." She sniffed and looked away resentfully, a picture of apologetic arrogance.
With amusement dancing in his eyes, Kaneki shot a questioning glance at her. Think she has suffered enough?
Hinami gave a small nod and said, "Oh, okay. I guess you just don't want anything bad to happen to us. Don't worry, onee-chan! I'm getting stronger!"
There was never any doubt about Hinami's abilities and with a fond smile, Touka replied, 'Of course."
The conversation then drifted off to Hinami telling her what Kaneki had taught her so far and Touka mentally thanked the heavens for avoiding a potentially embarrassing situation.
Sometimes, her temper and impulsiveness can really get the best of her.
'It's really cute,' Kaneki thought to himself and suddenly blushed at the thought. Hinami was talking about the different types of plants that exist and Touka just gave him a funny look, clearly questioning his sanity when his face flushed as red as a tomato and he wouldn't (couldn't) look at her.
It's like a horrible cliché story where a handsome gentleman appears and a cold, brash girl falls in love with him. (And please, she does not think Kaneki is handsome in the slightest bit. She has high standards, ok? But of course, both you and I know better. It is, and always will be, Kaneki's kind and gentle nature that draws her to him, not that she'll ever admit it to herself. Contradictions, remember?)
The day started badly for her. She jolted awake from a nightmare involving Ayato and everyone she had ever known leaving her, while she cried and begged them to stay, but no one bothered to turn around. It's like they just couldn't care less. So it was with a sick churning of fear and grief that she awoke. Caught up in her dreams, she rolled over -
- and fell off her bed.
"Ow..."
She wiped away the tears in her eyes, telling herself that the pain of the landing must have caused it. Her hands kept trembling.
Even as she splashed water onto her face, the memory of her dreams still lingered in her mind like a ghost, leaving mouldering fingerprints all over her day.
She was jittery, off balance and Yoriko noticed it, the moment she stepped into class, "What happened?"
She could tell her about her dream, about her fear of being left alone. But that would raise too many questions, like her brother, for it is he that had first planted the seeds of fear inside her. Even when she had nothing, she had Ayato. But he had left her; abandoned her on the sidewalk to bleed to death and even after all these years, it still hurts.
If one of her closest family could just leave her, what about everyone else? She's scared that they would do the same. So she swallowed her words (help me), tore her eyes away from Yoriko, so she couldn't see the despair written in them and pretended that she was just suffering from a minor flu.
The day passed with agonising slowness and when the bell rang to signify the end of school, she rushed out without saying goodbye to Yoriko.
At Anteiku, the news reporter talked about a dangerous ghoul called Rabbit that had been attacking CCG investigators. The news cut to a figure in black wearing a rabbit mask, disappearing off into the moon, black kagune spreading out behind him like a monstrous wings of a bat. The news reporter appeared and finished off with, "This ghoul has been active around this neighbourhood for the past few weeks. Civilians are encouraged to stay at home at night for their safety."
Touka watched the news with a dead expression in her eyes, ignoring the hurt ripping at her heart and goes back to cleaning the plates.
Yomo tapped her shoulder and pointed his head to the back. She followed him quietly.
"It's him, isn't it?" Yomo asked, without preamble once he ensured that no one could overhear him.
She bit her lip and nodded.
"Has he contacted you so far?"
There's the crux, isn't it? The one simple thing that she hated (and desperately craved for). She shook her head numbly.
"I see. Would you like to take the day off?" Knowing what the girl must be going through, he conveyed his warmth and understanding through that sentence alone.
Touka completely took him by surprise when instead, she said, "If it's alright with you, I would like to work the closing shift please."
Since she was still looking down, he was unable to see her face. He asked again, not sure if he had heard right, "Are you sure? It's going to count as paid leave."
She nodded once and hurried out the door, surreptitiously wiping away any traitorous tears. She's not crying, dammit. Why would she care, that the moment Ayato showed up in the 20th ward, he didn't visit her at all? And, if he seemed to have the same rabbit mask as her, why would her heart feel like it has been ripped out and stomped on? That's just ridiculous. She had moved on. She's serious.
Pushing these thoughts away from her mind, she threw herself back into her work with vigour.
Yomo watched her flinging herself into work to try to avoid thinking about her brother and felt a pang of sympathy towards that girl.
A sad little rabbit makes everyone sad too.
Enji Koma, the Devil Ape, took one look at Touka's face and immediately decided that he himself was woefully unprepared for this. Yes, even the Devil Ape cannot solve this, for it is a matter of the heart, something to be treated with delicately and expertly. That, he does not know, but he thinks he knows someone who does...
It is the fourth time that Touka was wiping the whole place down when Kaneki appeared in her line of vision, looking far too sympathetic for his own good.
"Touka, you've cleaned that spot four times. You can stop now, you know."
She looked back at the sparkling walls, tables and chairs, pushed past him and growled. "Don't tell me what to do."
Kaneki, having received the call from Enji, had immediately come down to take over the night shift. Sure, he has an important exam tomorrow, but he figured that some things are worth failing for.
He had been watching her trying to lose herself in her work the entire time. Kaneki knew that she was beating herself up over the past, but it's not like it will change anything and she looked so miserable and angry at herself. He could practically see her crawling into her own head, shutting out the whole world and getting lost in her own misery-drenched thoughts.
"Uhh, I've mixed up the coffee powder from the different plantations. Could you help me?" He scratched his chin and gave a sheepish look.
He knew his plan succeeded when she rolled her eyes and snapped, "Next time, don't be too careless, dumbass."
They passed the time sorting out the beans, using their enhanced smell to differentiate the aroma. The task finished and she turned around to go, Kaneki walking behind her.
She had only taken a few steps, when Kaneki seemingly tripped on thin air and crashed into her. They go down in a tangle of limbs.
"Are you blind?" She seethed, rubbing her bruised arm, "Were you born with two left feet?"
"I'm sorry, I didn't see where I was going. Ouch... that hurts," he said, wincing at his own bruises on his legs.
"Are you saying I'm heavy?" She asked sharply. While Kaneki may have crashed into her from behind, he had manoeuvred himself so that Touka would land on him instead of the other way. He figured that, if the other way really did occur, and he landed on Touka, she would rip off his arm and beat him to death with it.
"No, no. I didn't mean that," he soothed.
Sitting on his stomach, she glared at him before realising the... ahem, compromising position she was in. She stood up quickly.
"Hurry up, you clumsy oaf! We need to take care of the shop floor."
He got up and dusted himself off. "Don't worry; Yomo-san and Enji-san are still there."
They were walking back to the shop floor and he knew that the moment she stepped out there, she would be busy and wear herself out with work. He rapidly cast his eyes around and they alighted on a trolley, with clean plates, cups and utensils. Keyword, being clean.
'Not anymore,' he thought, and smiled to himself.
He walked past it and 'accidentally' overturned the whole trolley, causing the things to fall on the floor. Touka froze when she heard the noise and slowly turned around.
"Oh no, you didn't!" She hissed, "It took me a long time to wash each and every one of them!"
Flames of fury flared to life in her eyes and Kaneki wondered if he may have overdone it. He was just trying to take her mind off her brother, so he thought that anger was better than sorrow, right?
He gulped. "I'm sorry...?"
"BEFORE YOU EVEN THINK ABOUT GOING HOME, YOU BETTER FINISH WASHING THE ENTIRE GODDAMN THING!" She roared at him.
She was furious; she had spent a long time cleaning that and he bumbled around and upended the entire thing? Argh, what a dumbass!
Yomo appeared from nowhere and said. "Since you are in charge of him, you would have to share the same punishment. Both of you have to clean up the mess." The steely gaze in his eyes brooked no argument from the youngsters. Touka lowered her head and muttered, "Yes, sir."
Unknown to her, Yomo mouthed to Kaneki, 'You're doing well.' Kaneki gave a small nod in acknowledgment and bent down to pick up the fallen cutlery.
Luckily, none of the things were broken because Kaneki is a smart kid; he bumped into the cart so all the things dropped onto the carpeted floor. All the noise was just the cutlery clinking together. Touka walked into the kitchen to start washing up and Enji walked past the hallway, giving Kaneki two thumbs up behind her back.
Kaneki could see that she was fuming mad, but he couldn't help but feel proud. Touka looked like her old self again and everyone at Anteiku seemed pretty supportive of his (somewhat unorthodox) methods.
Meanwhile, Touka was mentally calling him ten different kinds of idiot, but she really didn't have the time or the energy to lash out at him. She had to wash all these plates again, dammit. Instead, she settled with a plate thrown at his head and a tongue lashing of his general incompetence. (And even that doesn't quite satisfy her because the plate broke against his ghoul skin. So she just shouted insulting names at him like 'wood louse', 'midget' and 'four eyes'. It wasn't really insulting, but she's pissed; she just needed to vent it out rather than personally strangle him to death.)
That night, she scrubbed the dishes viciously and slammed them down on the counter to dry, as if daring anyone to approach her, but Kaneki smiled; he didn't say a word, merely walked over to her side and kept her company by drying the utensils amidst the noise and clatter.
There was a time where she would have chased everyone out of the room in a violent screaming frenzy when the dark mood struck her. But now, now she seethed and threw the plates into the sink, she slammed the cupboard doors and stomped around the kitchen, and in the midst of it all is Kaneki, looking completely at ease with all of this - peaceful, even.
She didn't say it, but his presence calmed her down; he anchored her to the present and made the past a little less dark and a little more bearable.
A flicker of flame licked Touka's ice-encrusted heart and bit by bit, the lock started to melt.
Yoshimura stood at the doorway, looking in on the two youngsters with affection in his gaze.
At the corner, the old man smiled to himself. Ah, young love…
All the more sweeter when they don't know even know it.
Unaware of Yoshimura's musing, Touka shot another resentful glare at Kaneki.
A plate shatters against the counter.
This is the story of both fire and ice that lie inside a girl. It may mean one thing, but it may actually mean another because it is a contradiction in itself.
There is still ice in her heart, but the more time she spends with the boy, the ice melts a little more and the flames burns a little higher, a little brighter.
A/N2: Thank you all for your kind encouragement and support! :) You guys are amazing!
Updates for this might not be as fast as usual because I'm currently writing a whole series involving Touka and Kaneki (ie. A new story). There will be an exciting plot. There will be action, adventure and an extremely unsafe amount of angst. There will also be romance involving Touken! So while I'm writing that, these oneshots would have to wait a little while. Updates for this would be around say, 2-3 weeks instead of every week. Please be a little patient with me before I return to How to Love a Broken Thing.
I can't wait to upload the new series but I want it to be good, amazing and spectacular. You deserve this level of quality. (Sorry, that was just my arrogance speaking. Please ignore that. I just hope that the new series I'm writing doesn't suck, that's all. :D )
Thanks once again!