For the few months they had know each other, Anthiese and Alm had already made an impression on Zofia. They were quite a pair: their proper, responsible princess who only resembled her foolish father in appearance and the warrior grandson of a legend who had driven out the Rigelians from their homeland. If you had told any village gossip that the weight of their country would come to rest on the shoulders of two children, they would have scoffed before joking that such a turn of events would only further drive Zofia in the ground. The fact they not only bore such a heavy weight but seemed to thrive under it, only added to their peculiarity.
Yet despite their youth, there was something that made people want to put their trust in them. Perhaps it was their honest desire to do the best they could. Lima had also been crowned young, but only cared to indulge himself. It had been so long since it seemed as if anyone ruling Zofia actually wanted to. Who knew simple effort and enthusiasm would go such a long way? Furthermore for their lack of experience, they hardly showed it, carrying themselves with grace and composure. The closest they had brushed up against propriety was when they had disappeared for an hour into the castle's garden, and even then that was something one could hardly fault them for. Gossip made for better conversational material compared to the droughts that continued to persist.
Such a situation was no accident on their part. Well to say the rumors were planned would be overestimating their foresight. That was simply the result of one too many stray glances and a sometimes burning need to brush their fingertips across each other's that could never be completely extinguished. But back when they were two strangers simply trying to figure out a way to live beyond waiting to die in a tomb, they had agreed not to repeat the mistakes of the Deliverance.
No all their troubles would stay hidden behind closed doors.
It was quite a performance they put on. When the news came out, Alm didn't storm into her private quarters to rant and rage. No, he spent most of the day laughing and training with the rest of his soldiers. No one would have suspected he had a care in the world, and for that she should have been grateful. However if anything his silence only rattled her nerves further. It was like watching the hands of a clock slowly pass by, waiting until they finally struck midnight. Perhaps rather than a blessing, it was a sly attack of his to test her patience so.
Well she couldn't argue that she hadn't earned it.
It took until around sunset until there was a knock on her study door.
"You may enter," Anthiese replied in her "queenly" voice as she stuffed a half-written letter to the emperor of Archanea into her desk drawer.
Alm entered in his civilians clothes. Technically there was nothing offensive about it—if anything the fact they usually conversed while he still had yet to change from his armor was unorthodox. Still there was something different about seeing his mussed hair and flushed complexion without the proof of a day of hard work. It brought an air of casualness rarely found in these four walls.
Ah, but when this was Father's, he used it for even more unbusinesslike means.
Anthiese stood, suddenly interested in sorting her bookshelves. "What concerns you, Sir Alm?"
"I thought we were going to be honest with each other."
The atmosphere grew tense. Not even past greetings and a storm was already brewing. Anthiese took a deep breath.
"Pray tell what lies I've deceived you with then?" She ran her hands across their spines, refusing to look at him directly.
"You're not even being honest with me right now," He answered in a huff. "I'm mad about the treaty you signed with Rigel. What else would I be upset about?" He looked at her as if waiting for her response, but she still kept her attention focused squarely on her current task.
It felt like forever, but finally he broke the silence with an annoyed groan. "Why should we need them to fix our own problems? If the pirates are such an issue then send me. There's no need to invite those snakes into our own backyard."
"Do you think that option just somehow slipped my mind?" The ice in her voice surprised even herself, but Anthiese embraced its chill. "I don't want to do this any more than you do, but our choices are limited. If word got out the capital wasn't defended, then they would simply try and reclaim it once more."
"Then send me to Rigel." Alm spoke as if such a choice was as simple as picking out which dress to wear. "If we get rid of them first, then we'll be free to handle domestic problems without them breathing down our neck."
It was taking all her willpower to keep from snapping at this point. "I already told you: invading Rigel isn't an option." Anthiese squared herself towards the shelves once more. She had told herself she wasn't going to raise her voice at him—that they wouldn't get in another fight—but her voice cracked with emotion all the same.
It would be so easy to put him in his place wouldn't it?
"It could be if you listened to me for once!" It seemed Alm had made no similar promise to himself. "I thought I was your general, but you won't let me fight your battles, don't consult my counsel—" He grabbed her shoulder, and she nearly jumped out of her own skin at the contact. However, when his eyes met hers, they froze her right in place.
"—You won't even look at me." She had tried to prepare herself for this moment. When she had sent off Zofia and Rigel's treaty to be announced, she knew eventually she'd face the anger of her most trusted confidant. While for the most part, Alm was a bright and optimistic man, she had seen flashes of it before—such as when she told him what Father's reign had been like or when she caught him in the heat of a fight. It was a cruel, dangerous rage, she scarcely believed she'd be able to withstand, but Anthiese had weighed her options and decided she was at least familiar with provoking others' fury.
This was not that. Rather than harden like steel, the lines of his face tightened as if they had forgotten just how to arrange themselves right and had settled for trying to hold everything together as hard as possible. Emerald eyes swirled with so much fire and passion, but rather than burn her to the ground, his gaze seemed to just melt with distress. Out of all the reactions he could have had, she had never expected him to look so hurt.
Slowly Anthiese tried to remember how to breathe.
"Whoever said…" She sighed, unable to organize her thoughts. "Whoever said you were my general?"
Alm cringed and Anthiese couldn't help but mirror the action. The first words out of her mouth, and they were salt on an fresh wound.
"You're right, it was presumptuous of me." He let go of her shoulder to run a hand through his hair, and Anthiese couldn't tell if she was relieved to have lost the touch or ached for its return.
"It's alright—an understandable mistake…" She murmured, hardly aware she was speaking.
Ever since he had been knighted, most had assumed he had naturally assumed the role of lead general as well. Just as he said, Alm had fought her battles, and they had made all their decisions together. Still the position remained vacant all the same.
It wasn't as if he was unqualified. Experience and age meant nothing when he could back up his results. Zofia would accept him with open arms; the only question was if she was willing to let him go.
It was a shameful question to be consumed by, but it consumed Anthiese all the same. If she allowed him to be general, then there would be no stopping him if he truly wished to invade Rigel. And that would mean sending away one of the only souls that made her smile these days. After already losing so much, could her heart take letting him slip through her fingers as well?
"You understand though, right?" Alm spoke softly. "Just because you have a sword, doesn't mean that it will do you any good if it is only left to rust in its sheath." His breath ghosted the inside of her neck, and Anthiese couldn't help but shiver at the sensation. Just when had he moved in so close? "I want to be of use."
You could always make him your consort. It wasn't the first time the thought had slipped its way into her consciousness. What better use could he serve? Drape him in jewels and silk, and he will not only be beautiful, but he will be yours.
Anthiese pulled a book from the shelf, hoping it would both give her some distance and a moment to compose herself.
"I understand…" She trailed her fingers over its title: On the Study of the Body. Ugh what use did an anatomy book serve in her study? Quickly Anthiese placed it back. "…but I hope you understand that if I'm so careless as to let my blade break, then I'll be completely defenseless."
"I wouldn't let myself break." He responded without hesitating.
"We're all mortal in the end. Very few have any choice in when they die."
"I wouldn't die until you said I could." The intensity in his gaze had settled into a brilliant blaze. "Anthiese, you're our future. Before I left Ram, I thought I would be satisfied to simply see the world and then return home eventually. But now that I know I can do something to fix things, I can't imagine going back. I want to be a part of this process. I want to help Zofia. Antiese, I want to help you."
He looked at her with such adoration that it was almost intoxicating. It was dangerous to consider just how far his devotion might go, but knowing so did nothing to stave her desire to somehow bottle the moment. If such a feat was possible, she'd get drunk on his reverence nightly.
I thought you were better than this.
Shame hung heavy on her shoulders like a cloak. What a wicked irony. After watching Father get tangled up with woman after woman, she had swore off pursuing romance beyond her duties to the crown. So of course Zofia's savior had to come in the form of a handsome, young man whose earnest nature made it easy to forget about responsibilities and duties.
You're going to ruin him. A small voice inside herself screamed. You know you shouldn't steal him from the rest of Zofia. He's meant for larger things than simply satisfying your whims. You know, you know, you know—
—But don't I deserve to be happy? The weaker side yelled in response. How can it be a vice when I only want him? Why is it selfish to not wish to send him to Rigel to be slaughtered?
Still Anthiese couldn't help but remember one of the mothers at the royal villa. She was one of the youngest, but held a strict tongue and even stricter temper—coming from a long line of military officers. Their isolated location made her restless, so when she wasn't disciplining the children, she often spent her time staring at the road, hoping a courtier or merchant would pass by and prove the outside world hadn't forgotten about them.
What had Father thought when he pulled her into his bed? Did he know the life he was destining her to live, or had she been just another blossom to deflower? Had he simply thrown her away after having his fun, or had he truly wanted to provide her a place full of all the comforts she could wish for until she was old and gray?
Did he refuse to let death take another of his loves and try to save her from bloodshed? Did he ever realize that the fire killed her before war could take a single Zofian soldier?
"Anthiese, please, just look at me," He had taken her hand into his now. They were large and warm—grounding her both physically and mentally. The former because each time his calloused fingers trailed across her knuckles it spread sparks across her skin. The later because she suddenly remembered that Alm, was a real, living, breathing person standing before her.
You're really like your father in the worst kind of way. You think you can collect people like they're a pretty babble that caught your eye.
When she met his gaze once more, she couldn't muster the same queenly or icy manner she held before. She was too focused on holding back her tears to be anything more than just Anthiese.
"Come to the Temple of Mila with me." She finally said.
"Are you offering me a position as your retainer?"
"I want you there with me." She didn't know what she would find. It had been her mother's home before she was spirited away to the life of a royal consort, yet it was her command and not Father's that had barred Anthiese from stepping foot there until now. She also didn't know whether one day she would see Alm bathed in Rigelian blood for her or draped in finery and flushed with desire. "That's all I'm certain of."
She waited, fearful that he would find a reason to leave her all on his own. But instead he lifted her hand to his lips and pressed a quick kiss.
"Of course, my Queen."
Anthiese blushed as for a moment as she was transported back to their walk in the gardens, when he had first kissed her hand and awakened the butterflies in her stomach. This was becoming a bad habit of late.
But as he pulled away with a grin, she couldn't muster the effort to scold him.
She loved him too dearly to care he was becoming her bad habit as well.