Disclaimer: D. Gray- Man belongs to Hoshino Katsura.

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Chapter Three: Human As Is, Human As Not

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Everyone in the Order was in an uproar. Tyki was doubtlessly, the root of it all. Many had protested. They didn't want a Noah near them. A Noah who had killed and grievously injured many of their comrades. If it was not for Allen working his charm, persuading everyone to give him a chance, Tyki could very well serve himself up as mincemeat. Komui also used his status and power to convince that Tyki would be harmless if they did him no harm in return.

Tyki could only observe. Human as he was, he had forgotten. He had forgotten how to feel as a human. He had forgotten the way to smile. Tyki cannot recall how tears came to be, or how laughter tasted on one's tongue. He can only remind himself constantly of one fact. Humans were fragile. Humans were weak. Humans can bend, but can also break. "Is it still bothering you, Tyki-kun?" Tyki looked up to the owner of the soft voice. It was Miranda. Miranda, the time manipulator. Such a grandiose title, yet never enough to reverse time fully. After all, history is etched by time. What time is taken must be given back. Miranda of all people knows. That was why she would not look back and regret her hundred failures, but look forward and rejoice in her first success.

"Not at all. These people have every right to hate me. I'm the sore thumb sticking out here, aren't I? And aren't you supposed to hate me as well?" Tyki answered.

"N-Not really…It's just that, I feel your remorse as well," Miranda spoke meekly. "I didn't see what happened between Allen-kun and you, and I do not know the facts well. I might say I had not bothered to properly grieve for Allen-kun and be angry at you, because…At war, there is no place for sadness." Her wavering yet strong voice echoed in the empty halls.

"Pretty harsh truth coming from you. You seem like the type to crumble should anything bad happen," Tyki spoke honestly. This woman looked like she appreciated honesty. Miranda weakly smiled. "We are only human after all. Human as is, selfish and hurtful. I have known pain and regret, but I have also learned the grit to move on."

Tyki raised his elegant eyebrows slightly. Miranda had said we. Miranda had taught him human in strength. "Well thank you, I feel much appreciated now," Tyki nodded to the Time Record user and took off at a leisurely pace. In his brief walk, he met up with Krory. Ah yes, the infamous vampire.

"Hello, Tyki. How do you like it here?" The vampire addressed him politely. He was kind and willing to go out of his way to make the Noah feel at home. Tyki reminded himself that Krory was a human, despite his appearance as a bloodsucking immortal. Hell, he was human. Then why did he act like he wasn't one? Krory was mistaken as a vampire time and over again, but he acted human. Where was the fundamental difference between them?

"Still coping. At least I get fed here, thankfully. What about you? How did you end up here anyway?" Tyki asked curiously.

Krory looked sad upon matter, and Tyki was almost sorry he brought the matter up when Krory answered after his question.

"I used to live in a castle…Which belonged to my grandfather. I stayed with a girl…no, an Akuma named Eliade. I didn't realize why I keep attacking the villagers. Then…Allen and Lavi came to me and told me that I was killing Akuma, based on my Innocence's instinct. In the end, I killed Eliade. They brought me here," Krory ended in an ironic voice.

Tyki was surprised. "You lived with an Akuma? Didn't your Innocence sense it?" "Eliade was the only one I had left. I didn't want to let go," Krory answered. Tyki understood. Human never want to be alone. That instinct has not ceased since the creation of Mankind.

"I see…Have a good day," Tyki bid his farewell to Arystar Krory.

Kanda had difficulty maintaining his meditative state. For a long time, his mind had been plagued with thoughts of Allen. Kanda cursed the very day he was saved by Allen instead of the other way around. He had been lagging after defeating Skin. He thought he was going to die. He didn't want to die. That person was yet to be found…Kanda refused to give up. He promised to catch up. As a man, his pride was on the line. He couldn't possibly give in to the pain racking his entire body. His healing ability managed to cover up only the gravest of injuries, but he was still severely wounded.

He lost all hope when the place was crumbling into dust around him. And strangely, for some reason, his last thought had been of Allen Walker. When he regained consciousness, he was right where he fell. The room around him normal, as if untouched by destruction. He dragged himself forward, picking up the unconscious Krory on the way. It was later that he learned it was Allen's powers which brought everything back from the brink of destruction.

As they descended the Ark, Kanda's body swayed in a moment of weakness. Allen slipped his arms around the swordsman, carrying him to the best of his abilities. His white cloak wrapped around them. "Let go, moyashi," Kanda growled.

"I won't forsake a life, even if it costs my own life. Kanda…Know that I would never abandon you even in the most critical situation," Allen whispered. Kanda was shocked at how shaken he was when he heard those words. He slipped out of consciousness after that, but instead of the encompassing darkness he usually saw, he was wrapped in white. A white that had a unique Allen warmth to it. This was the first time he ever felt safe with another before.

'Kanda…even so I want to be a destroyer who can save someone.'

The image of Allen saying that with a soft voice as he smiled when tears streaked down his cheeks from his glimmering bluish-gray eyes surfaced in his mind. Kanda thought his heart would break at such a sad yet beautiful scene. He shook his head. 'Why would I even think of our old mission right now?' His conscience wouldn't allow him to forget easily though. 'Because that was when you fell in love with him,' it reminded. Kanda shoved it away in irritation. He found it hard to admit his feelings for the rather beautiful boy. Kanda is known to be beautiful, but Allen had a different, more calming kind of attractiveness.

Kanda mentally cursed. Wasn't his meditation supposed to ward off Allen-related thoughts?

"Kanda?"

Great. Allen popped his head from the doorway to see the Japanese exorcist looking out the window. "What do you want, moyashi?" Kanda asked.

Allen pouted. "How many times must I tell you that it's Allen?" He strode into the room and stood beside Kanda as his gaze rested on the scenery beyond the stone frame. "Can't wait to get out, huh?"

"Of course," Kanda gracefully snorted. "No one except that lazy Komui would want to lie in a bed for weeks." Allen chuckled. For some reason it sounded like music to Kanda's ears.

"That's not quite true. He just wants to ease the burden on everyone by hiding his efforts."

"I doubt it."

"Kanda."

That sweet voice called his name again, with such sincerity and simplicity.

Kanda turned to look at Allen. It would be his biggest downfall yet as he was trapped in Allen's gentle gaze. "Never do it again," Kanda growled. Allen's expression crinkled into a confused one. "What do you mean?" Kanda was injured, so he could forgive himself for acting weird due to the medication. For he had Allen in a tight embrace in the next moment. It startled Allen.

"K-Kanda?!"

"Shut up, moyashi. I hate you, a lot," Kanda muttered, all the while holding the boy to his chest. Allen's look of shock subsided, and was replaced with yet another smile. "Yes, Kanda. I know."

Neither noticed another watching them from the doorway. Tyki learned another matter about humans from Kanda. When they say they hate, it meant they cared more than love could ever do. Because hate is a stronger impression than love. Allen seemed to know that as well. He walks on, leaving the two exorcists to have a moment by themselves. Soon enough Tyki discovered that he wandered into the library. Thinking that he might find an interesting book, he went through the shelves, and discovered Lavi slumped among books. Lavi did not seem to notice him as he was caught up in thoughts. So Tyki approached him.

"You sure look depressed."

Lavi jumped. "What are you doing here?"

"I have the freedom to walk around, right? Anyway, if it doesn't bother you would you like to tell me what's bugging you?" Tyki was sincere as he asked. Lavi eyed him suspiciously before settling down to a mundane look.

"Is it bad for us to want to have a heart?" Lavi asked in return.

"I think not, not after I just got back mine," Tyki said in a slightly alarmed voice.

"I am a Bookman. I need no heart," Lavi recited as though he was taught to say that multiple times. Tyki stared, and ruffled Lavi's hair. "Dear boy, as a Bookman you most certainly need one."

Lavi snapped, "No, I don't! Panda told me that loads of time!"

"Ah, but your eyes tell me you're the kind who met with a lot of sorrows and overcame them," Tyki answered knowingly.

"Then why? Why would Panda tell me that we need no feelings, no attachment, no heart?" Lavi questioned, a deep pain reflected in his eyes. Tyki smiled. Ah, the confusions of adolescence. "I don't think the Bookman meant for his words to be interpreted in that manner, dear." He stroked Lavi's hair in a soothing manner. Lavi wouldn't have taken it lying down but he was desperate for comfort and allowed Tyki to do that.

"I think he is trying to tell you that as a Bookman, you must not judge what was done, thus telling you that feelings are regardless. Then, whatever truth recorded by a Bookman must not be biased, that was why he told you not to have attachments. Lastly, a Bookman must stand by and watch whatever happens though they are destroying what you consider precious. If you did that, you'd be heartless. But you see, on the contrary being a Bookman must be passionate about his task. He has to have the heart to see through everything and try to understand why it all happens as it does. He must have the strength to tell the truth of everyone he has ever known. And that, my boy is why you were chosen as the Bookman's successor."

Lavi's depression slowly lifted as he listened to Tyki's explanation. "Are you speaking the truth?"

Tyki feigned offence. "Why do I need to lie?"

Lavi grinned again. "Thanks, you're better than I thought."

And Tyki learned the most important lesson of all that day. He was starting to remember again.

My perceptive readers will notice that this chapter does not really differ from the old chapter.