"Your eyes are… black."
"Not black. Brown. BROWN." Shikamaru even brought his voice up in defiance. He was very proud of his eyes.
"Hm… black." Ino resumed, ignoring him. "No pupils, either. That is very strange. But don't worry honey, I don't have 'em either."
"Your eyes are HUGE. That's just unnatural." Chouji thought his friend had suffered enough. You knew you hit a nerve when Shikamaru talked back on the FIRST listening. Besides, Ino's eyes were unnatural.
"Nah, you guys' eyes' just all suck. I am literally" here Ino measured her distance away from Shikamaru with the tip of her nail, "less than a centimeter away from you, and that's just to find the color of your eyes. You guys's eyes are so TINY! I wonder what it'd be like to have you get pink eye, with all the white. Hey, you know what, that's a good idea! I can get Forehead girl, and the weird girl from the sand that you like, and--"
Ino got punched in the face as the table underneath her intriguingly produced a hole with an arm protruding out of it. Yelling mightily, she resorted to her battle stance against Chouji, who was smirking and sitting on Shikamaru, whos shadows had been creeping forward ever since the 'black' thing, and Chouji decided was a little too close. But then Ino fell over and started spiritually dive bombing at Chouji's head. Chouji, being the perfect boy he was, started eating so he could shrink his head, so that spirit Ino would be too squished and…
That was how Asuma found them. Shikamaru unconscious, Chouji's head the size of a… yeah, think headless horsemen, Ino boasting a concussion and folded over one of the chairs with the really pointy ends, and everybody looking generally wasted. Smiling, he left the grounds, porting the contacts container proudly. Good training, good training…