Chapter 3

Chloe had picked her way through another two tracks, Fast Car by Tracy Chapman and Just My Imagination by The Cranberries. She had done amazing versions of both songs and had currently started playing a song I hadn't heard before. I had been finishing the sketch off, however there was something about this song, it was like she had forgotten I was there, lost herself in the lyrics. It was beautiful and it made me want to cry, she was so vulnerable.

I continued to look at her, the slight breeze blowing her hair close to her face. It was hard to believe she had three children a husband and a home she looked so peaceful

'It's too easy to say that nothing feels right
I can make some lame excuse
Say I'll be better tonight
I can let you go on thinking, that it's something you've done
But it's nothing between us
There's no guilty one

But there are sometimes, there's no way to explain
And there's no rhyme or reason for the way that I'm feeling this pain
I just get so emotional, so emotional
When there's no way off the floor and there's no-one else's door to lay the blame

Keep my eyes closed, my tears weren't meant to be seen
I'm fragile like a small bird caught in the wind
And I can't bear to pretend anymore
Too anyone
Its just one of those days and there's no guilty one

But sometimes there's no way to explain and there's no rhyme or reason for the way that I'm feeling this
Pain
I just get so emotional so emotional
When there's no way off the floor and there's no-one else's door to lay the blame

But there are sometimes there's no way to explain
And there's rhyme or reason for the way that I'm feeling this pain
I just get so emotional so emotional when there's no way off the floor and there's on one elses door to
Lay the blame

And there's sometimes there's no way to explain and there's no rhyme or reason for the way that I'm
Feeling this pain'

Chloe wiped away a tear and took a deep breath.

'Chloe, you ok?'

'Yeah Beca I am fine, sorry I got a little lost then, forgot how much I love playing that song.'

I looked over at Chloe making eye contact with the emotional redhead. 'did you write it? She looked at me and smiled. 'no I don't have those talents, it's a song called so emotional by an artist called Alex Parks, she only did one album and that was it she disappeared, I love the album though.' I smiled, 'so long as you are ok, I know this is a bit out there as you don't really know me but my ears are always open Chlo.'

She looked over while grabbing her water bottle. 'I know and thank you. Right where is this sketch.' I looked down at what was in front of me, I added finishing touches and handed it to her. 'Wow Beca your art work is amazing. Pass me the pencil please, I want to write on this for you.'

'No no Chloe its for you. I couldn't possibly keep it.' She was scribbling on the font of the picture. She had a huge smile on her face has she handed it back. The bottom of the sketch she had written 'it's all yours, Chloe x' So when you go back to LA and you are having a day of it, you can look at this and think about this day'

I looked down and smiled, 'so what do you have to remind you of this day then?' Chloe looked at me 'i won't need a reminder, il never forget it.' I felt my cheeks go slightly red, this was so weird, I had never had feelings around women ever, but my god there was something with Chloe I couldn't work out, it was like I had known her my whole life. I knew it would bring me a whole load of trouble but I didn't care.

I opened the shopping bag that had our lunch in and I helped myself to some fruit. 'so how did you end up in Ireland? Chloe sighed 'well that's a story 'she started laughing.

'Well I have time' as I started eating at the strawberries we had picked.

'Well I met Thomas in the states at college. He was born in Ireland but moved to florida with his family when he was young. We were friends at first and then one night we were both pretty drunk and one thing led to another, not that I remember much. We started dating and after about 6 week I found out I was pregnant. It was a massive shock! Well my family were not impressed by my pregnancy, and Thomas's grandparents had become unwell so his parents were returning to Ireland to look after them. Thomas did want me to be alone and pregnant so he asked me to go with him to Ireland and him and his family would look after us. So I packed up my stuff and followed him here. Unfortunately, though after being here for two weeks I had a miscarriage. He was so sweet though, he was such a fantastic pillar of support and always made sure I was ok, even offered for me to go back the states.'

Chloe went quiet, that must have been so tough for her. She took a sip of water and turned to me 'Well you would have thought we would of been more careful when it came to pregnancy. However,18 months later my period was late and I found myself pregnant with Siobhan. Once again this wasn't planned, however I put it down to me and Thomas being destined to have children. At this point, Thomas had a job working in finance and had become quite savvy with money. I had been to college and before I was to give birth I completed my music qualification alongside my PGCE. Well Siobhan was born an as soon as she was placed in my arms my whole world changed. Thomas had always been so important to me, he was all I had, however the moment my eyes met Siobhan's all of that changed, she was the most important little thing in my life.

I won't lie being a first-time mum so young was not easy, and me and Thomas had our fair share of fights and disagreements, however the making up was always awesome. That awesome I fell pregnant with Patrick, I couldn't believe it. Thomas to be fair was so supportive and we decided we needed a bigger home. His grandparents had given him money before they had passed and he had invested it. He used that money to buy the house we had before this one. Patrick was born and I fell in love, he has such a cheeky smile and his beautiful blue eyes, I lost myself. As he and Siobhan were so close in age it was easier with two, Siobhan was a pretty quiet baby and as she grew up she was always shy and sensitive. Patrick on the other hand was just wanting to be involved in everything. Siobhan was so patient with him though. Thomas had also started working a shift pattern in his job due t there being different sellers operating at various times. So me Siobhan and Patrick made quite a tight team especially when he was on nights. We got married 5years ago. His proposal was so sweet as he got the kid involved.'

Chloe let out a sly smile as she remembered the moment. She let out a sigh. 'we got married and then for some reason after our first anniversary things changed between us. We fought more, and didn't make up as much, he worked more and had less time for the children. Explaining that to them was hard. Even though I had made some friends I was not close enough with them to confide in them. I started to feel very alone. Thomas and the children were my world and for some reason it was changing.'

Chloe ran her hands through her hair and sighed. Her posture changed and she became pretty sad.

'Hey Chlo you don't have to carry on you know, you don't have to tell me anything you don't want too.'

'Beca, I have never spoken to anybody about this, and I have no idea why I feel I can talk to you about this but if I do get some of it out I think I may lose the plot.'

She closed her eyes and I placed my hand on hers. 'Ok well you throw it all out there and I will listen, I wont judge or pass comment, I will just listen.'

I couldn't believe I was about to spill all this heartache to Beca, a total stranger really. There was something about her though. Like I had always known her, it was strange but so comforting. I felt her warm hand on top of mine as she gave me reassurance.

'well one morning he came home later than normal. When I questioned him on it he was acting a bit cagey, so when he went for a shower I went through his phone, I know I know I shouldn't of however I found all these messages on his phone from this women, turns out he had slept with her, he had however wrote what happened should never of happened I have a wife and two children I am sorry it cannot happen again. I was devastated. I confronted him he went off on one, I went off on one and it was proper shit. His parents took care of Siobhan and Patrick while me and Thomas went away for two weeks to sort ourselves out. An we did as hard as it was I didn't want to lose him and after a ton of soul searching we both agreed we had neglected each other. We spent weeks and months making it up to each other and a week after Patricks 4th Birthday I found out I was pregnant. I was devastated to be honest, bless our Niamh she wasn't planned either and I had been on the pill, caught out by taking antibiotics. I told Thomas and he flipped, said he hadn't wanted anymore children but not like there was anything we could do now. So them pretty much after Niamh was born everything changed again and it had been pretty similar ever since. I found out he was sleeping with a woman who worked in the city and I packed mine and the children's bags and he begged me to stay so like an idiot I did and now I have three children, no career no real family or friends except your Gran, a husband who I know is sleeping around, he can be aggressive, controlling and a shit to the child

ren but I have no idea what to do and I often find myself so lonely that it's embarrassing. Soooooo that's me.'

I couldn't believe what I had just heard. While Choe had been talking i had chomped my way through half the bag of food we had bought to stop myself from losing it. I was in shock how on earth could you cheat on Chloe, like how? How could you hurt her?

I looked across at her, 'well Chlo I dont even know what to say really and I certainly won't do the whole leave him business, you already know that but it isn't easy and you have Siobhan, Patrick and Niamh to think about and as much as it would be better for them not to be in that environment it isn't so easy to go, plus you guys have history, you are married, you have a home. It was hard enough when I decided I didn't want to be with Jesse after 10 years at least we didn't have children. I mean I ended up in hospital I was so distressed by it all. I knew I didn't love him in the way I should anymore but it broke my heart breaking his, so I have no idea how you even get up and crack on every day and seem so happy.'

Chloe took a deep breath. 'I do it for my children I can't have them see me upset, I don't want them worrying. However, this morning Siobhan asked me if I was ok as she had heard what her dad had said to me. That broke my heart. So, I know I need to sort this and before she starts to fully understand, that's why I want to get back to work. If I am earning I can save money slowly for savings so I can rent a place and get out. I wouldn't move from here though. I know he will cause murder, but I don't want the children to not have their dad regardless.'

'Well it sounds to me like you have a plan, and from what you have told me I have no doubt you will do what is best for you and the kids. I am around for a month before I head back, I'm not working on anything and I have no plans so if you need any help then just ask. Its what friends are for right?'

I am not one for hugs, however when Chloe leant over and threw her arms around me I placed my arms around her and just held her. It didn't make me feel uneasy if anything it felt right. I rolled my eyes, what was going on! I was losing my mind I knew I was. 'Thank You Beca, It's nice to have a friend round here.'

After what was a linger hug we parted. I looked at my watch and smirked. 'Chlo, how about one last song before we go pick the children up?'

'ok what you go planned? I cant play that much.'

'Don't worry I have this one sorted, pass me your guitar.'

'I'm growing like a seed
Rain's been falling on me
I've been covered and cold
I've been shrouded in doubt

My heart is on a wire
Sitting pretty like a bird
But the hunter is out
And the eagle has heard the word'

Chloe smiled at me and began to sing the chorus with me.

That I feel
Feel it all
Yes I can feel
Feel it all

'I'm looking to the sky
And I'll be listening to the stars
And maybe thinking of you
And wondering where you are'

At this point Chloe began to sing with me again, her voice was perfect, and this sounded awesome.

Do you know what you've done for me?
You made my branches grow
Now they can play with the wind
And they can carry the snow

And they can feel, feel it all
Yes they can feel, feel it all

So take what you want
And leave what you don't need
And I'll go looking for you
You keep your eye out for me

'Cause our heart is on a wire
Sitting pretty like a bird
But the hunter is hunting
And the eagle is us

And we can feel, feel it all
Yes we can feel, feel it all
Oh we can feel, it all
Yes we can feel, it all'

I put the guitar down, looked across at my new 'friend' she had the biggest smile on her face, 'come on lets go and get my rabble I am sure they will want to see Grace' She gave out a giggle. 'really?'

'Yeah Bec my children adore her, every day before bed they go around and tell her about their day, Siobhan loves to read Grace stories, Though Thomas is on nights tonight so told her when Patrick and Niamh are in bed me and her will have Hot Chocolates and watch a movie in bed, So will probably be a quick visit to Grace tonight.'

'I am sure she won't mind, we will probably put some music on and have a few whiskeys, while she counsels me'

We both started laughing and headed back to the car walking in silence both thinking about the past few hours.