This following week has been oddly strange, Emmett and Jasper been talking to me more and more in class. Which I am not complaining but it seems odd that they're talking to me and not the others. Rosalie isn't ignoring me like she does with Bella. Alice stares at Bell and I, like she's waiting for something. Which both excites and terrifies me at the same time. What is she waiting for? Or who is she waiting for? And another odd thing, Edward hasn't been here. Why is he not here, I do not know but my cousin Bella is getting rather angry that he isn't here. This entire week she has been staring at the Cullens table looking for Edward and yet he still hasn't shown up. I wonder if he's going okay.
Day 1 (Tuesday) without Edward-
Bella and I were sitting on top of her truck's hood, Bella had an open book on her lap as for I, I'm listening to music. My attention suddenly went to the cars that were arriving and parking, one in particular. I saw Jasper, Alice, Emmett, and Rosalie coming out of a red convertible. And once again Edward hasn't shown up, I was beginning to feel worried. Emmett and I made eye contact, he waves at me and I wave back. Jasper did the same and the girls smiled at me which I gladly returned.
Suddenly a piece of paper landed on my lap. I turned around and saw Jessica, Angela, Mike, and Eric kicking a soccer ball around. They waved at Bella and me to join them, Bella smiled declining and returned her attention to the Cullens, who were by their car. Mike and the others turned to me and waited for my response. I wasn't going to leave Bella here all alone since I know how that feels. I too declined and went to my phone.
Embry and I have been texting a lot recently. I know he feels a certain way for me but I don't know how I feel about him, yet. I mean he's a great guy and all but I feel like whatever we have, it's going to fast? Or is it just me?
Lunchtime;
Bella and I sit with Jessica and Angela, who were busy watching youtube videos on their phones. I was reading a book 'Breath: A Ghost Story' by Cliff McNish. I glanced up at Bella who once again is staring at the Cullen's table. I lightly kicked her seat and she turns to me. I raised my eyebrow at her and she shakes her head, returning to her iPod.
"You know you could always talk to them and asked," I whispered to Bella, she looks at me as if I was crazy. I smiled at her and returned to my book.
In chem class, Emmett and I talked but not once has the topic about Edward came up. And honestly, I wasn't going to bring it if he doesn't. I just want to give them some privacy because lord knows they don't have any here.
And in history class, Jasper and I still talk to each other and just like Emmett, Edward's name wasn't brought up. I have a feeling that they're actually waiting for me to bring Edward up. I don't know why but I feel like they want to tell me something but they cannot. Well, hopefully, I can gain their trust in the future.
After school, I went to hang out with Embry, Jake, Quil. Bella went out with Jessica and Angela somewhere. I didn't want to leave Bella alone but I already promised the boys I was going to hang out with them. Since I forgot out our movie night on Monday night.
Day 2 (Wednesday) without Edward-
Bella and I were in the girl restroom. I was using one of the stalls and when I came out, I wasn't expecting this showdown. Rosalie and Alice were behind Bella, studying her. Rosalie was staring at Bella with chillingly cold eyes, however, Alice was staring at her with curiosity. I walk in front of Bella, shielding her from them. Rosalie's cold stare softens once she looks at me and Alice smiles. Bella stays behind me as I wash my hands. Once I finished I grabbed Bella's left arm and walked out.
Going to our class, I began to laugh while Bella was staring at me like I was insane.
"Omg, that was weird," I said laughing and Bella frowns,
"I don't think they like me," Bella said making me stop laughing.
"Hey, who cares if they like you or not. Not everyone will love you or hate you. You just gotta be true to yourself and those who like you for who you are, they're keepers," I tell Bella smiling and she smiles at me.
Day 3 (Thursday) without Edward;
Bella and I were out in the front yard of the parking lot, l was hanging out with our friends; Jessica, Angela, Mike, and Eric. I was listening to the song 'End of all days' by Thirty Seconds to Mars. I glanced at an expensive car, a red M3 BMW, Rosalie's car as it drives past us. Just like before, only four Cullens, no Edward. I don't know why it bothers me that he isn't showing up. Why don't I just ask about him since it's bothering so much not knowing if he well or not? I mean I rarely speak to him and yet I feel this weird and strange connection to him and the others. I'm constantly worrying about them. Whenever they're near I feel at peace. When I see them it's like my whole day is perfect. Why do I feel like this? Is there something going on and I don't know? Why is his family so important to me? Why?
Lunchtime;
Like any other day, we're here sitting down at our table far away from the Cullens. And yet again, Bella keeps looking over there. Does she feel a certain way towards them? Or is it only curiosity that is pulling her to them?
"You know if I was them, I would be annoyed with the constant staring, Bells" Bella turns me embarrassed. She looks down and sighs, I raised my eyebrow at her. She looks up,
"It's... it's just so weird he hasn't been here"
"Maybe he's sick or something," I tell her glancing back at the Cullen's table. It's always the same with them. They get the same thing every single day and every single time they don't even touch their food. They pay for it yet they don't eat it.
Maybe I should just go over there and talk to them. Sighing I got up and turned to Bella.
"Wait here," I said. Bella looks at me confused as I start walking towards the Cullen's table. The cafeteria quiets down and stares at me walking bravely to their table. I stopped in front of them, smiling.
"Hey guys," I said and they're staring at me with curiosity and amusement.
"Hello MaryAnne, how are you?" Sweet Alice asked, smiling and I smiled back at her.
"Fine thank you for asking. And yourself?"
"Great," She said with a little too much excitement. I softly laugh at her, she's so adorable.
"Mind if I sit with you guys?" I asked and they all smiled. Rosalie puts down her legs which were on Edward's seat. I sat down ignoring the staring and whispers that were going around.
"Soo?" Jasper began and we looked at him.
"What brings you to our side of the cafeteria?" He asked and I smiled.
"Well last time I checked the whole cafeteria belong to no one in particular," I said making them laugh.
"Well you should check again, sweetheart," Jasper said smirking and I rolled my eyes.
"Or maybe you should double check," I said smiling. I looked around with the students staring at us.
"why don't you socialize with the others?" I said making them frown a little.
"They think we're too weird," Alice said sadly.
"Well you guys are kinda weird," I said making them frown.
"But hey who isn't weird in their own ways. And besides, why should you care if they think you're weird or not? I bet they're missing out not having you guys as friends," I said smiling, that got them to smile.
"You're our friend, right?" Alice asked and I stare at her. She's asking if I'm there friend, how adorable.
"Of course I am," I smiled at them. Poor them they shouldn't have to ask that. I turn to Emmett,
"Hey so on Monday, since we don't have chem class want to hang out?" I asked Emmett who looks shocked.
"Only if that's okay with you and your parents," I said and Emmett smiles.
"Hells yeah that's fine"
I turn to Rosalie,
"Want to come with us? I don't want you to think I'm trying to steal him from you because I know that impossible because well you're very beautiful and I am nothing compare to you and if Emmett does break up with you he's just one idiot for letting you go because common you're so beautiful like a goddess and I know-"
While I was rambling on and on, Rosalie laughs, shocking us all. I am 100% sure this is the first time anyone heard her laugh out so freely and so beautifully.
"MaryAnne," Rosalie said breaking me out of the trance I was in. I look at her.
"Yes?" I asked Rosalie who was smiling at me.
"I know you're not trying to steal him from me. I know you guys only care for each other like friends so I am not worried. Besides, I know if you wanted to steal him you can but I wouldn't let you," She said making me frown a little. I stare at her confused. Why would I ever take someone's partner? I would never get in the way of someone's relationship.
"And yeah I'll go with you guy," I smiled at her.
"Good, so it's all set up"
"Hey, it's not fair," Alice said making us look at her, she was frowning.
"I want to hang out with you too"
"Well you have the field trip on Monday and we don't-"
"We don't have to go," Jasper suddenly said making me frown.
"No. How about this. We can all hang out after school on Monday. So that Alice and Jasper don't have to skip out on their field trip," I said. I didn't want them to miss the trip just so we can hang out.
"But we'll still hang out right?" Emmett said making me smile.
"Yeah, we are," He nods happily. Since we're all talking about hanging out, perhaps someone will join us. This was a perfect time bring up Edward.
"Since we're going to hang out on Monday, will Edward be there to hang out with us?" I asked. They all shared a look and I couldn't tell what they were saying. It went silent for a second until,
"Mmm, yeah I think he will," Alice said and I look at her, she thinks?
"Talking about Mr. I don't have to come to school, where is he?" I asked and once again they all shared a look.
"It's just I'm worried about him. Is he okay? He's been gone for three days and still no Edward" I tell them honestly, I do care for him and I am worried about his health. Their expressions soften,
"I know you worry about him but he's just isn't feeling well right now. So our father told him to stay home but he'll come back soon," Jasper said. I stared at him and nod.
"Can you let him know I said, 'I hope he feels better and that I miss him," Jasper smiled and nod. The bell rang and we got up. I turn around to head towards Bella and the other but was stopped when Rosalie called me.
"MaryAnne," She calls and I turn around.
"Want to walk with us since you and Emmett have chem next?" I stared at her shocked but quickly got over it.
"Yeah let me just get my bag, kay," I said smiling and she nods. I turned around and headed towards my friends who were still sitting down looking shocked, well Jessica looked kinda jealous. I went to get my bag which was next to Bella.
"Edward's sick but he'll be back soon," I whispered to Bella. She frowns but nods.
"I'll see you after school, I'm walking with Emmett and the others," Bella nods and leaves with Angela and the others. I walked back to the Cullens who were patiently waiting for me.
"Ready?" Alice asked making me smiles,
"Yup," I said and we started to walk to class. While we were walking people were staring at us and were whispering things. Emmett and Jasper would glare at some kids who were whispering as if they heard what they were saying.
During our short yet comfortable walk, the Cullens and I were discussing our Monday trip. What are we going to do? Where are we going? Things normal friends talk about and I could tell they were excited. I just hope Edward can join us and since we'll be hanging out after school, perhaps Bella can home along.
It's Friday: Is he finally here?
Fork's weather is so wet and cloudy, I liked this type of weather but in my state of mind right about now isn't doing so well. Coping with the death of my parents, moving to another town, trying to restart my whole life I feel like the gloomy weather isn't healthy for me. Whether it be emotionally or mentally, gloomy weather isn't a good thing for a stressed-out teenager, who lost a lot in a short span of a month. But it doesn't matter if I live in a gloomy town or a sunny one, this feeling will never go away. I'll always feel this way and I am trying to cope with it along with my other issues.
Friday morning, I was waiting for Bella in the kitchen. She came down the stairs and stopped to look at me. She looked up and down trying to figure out what was wrong with me. I raised my eyebrow at her.
"Yes?" I asked her.
"Are you okay?" She asked coming in front of me. She puts her hand on my forehead and frowns.
"You're burning up. Stay home." She said but I shook my head and got up.
"Nah I have a history test and my English paper is due today. So no, I won't be staying home today," Bella frowns.
"MaryAnne you're burning up, it's freezing outside, and I am pretty sure if you talk to your History teacher, you can make it up later"
"Bella, I don't get special treatment like the Cullens and besides I feel well enough to be able to go to school." Bella sighs and opens her mouth but I bet her to it,
"Please don't make me stay home, I don't want too," I said doing my best puppy face. After a few minutes, Bella sighs but smiles.
"If you don't feel good any time of the day you go straight home, okay," She said pointing her finger at me and I hug her.
"Thanks, momma bear," I said and Bella laughs and pulls away.
"Common we should head out already," I nod and went to go pick up my school bag.
"Dad, we're heading out," Bella shuts out to an empty house. Doesn't she know that uncle Charlie left about 30 minutes ago? We stepped outside and it was freezing cold. It was lightly raining outside, the ground was full of puddles, some were frozen. I shiver and wraps my coat tighter.
"Great," Bella whispers, hugging her coat tighter. Uncle Charlie pulls in the driveway with Bella's truck, Bella looks confused as to why her father had her truck.
"Dad, I can perfect drive MaryAnne and myself to school safe," Bella said to her father as we head towards him. Uncle Charlie comes out the truck and looks at us. We walk down the steps, with Bella in front of me, I stopped midway and looked back into the forest. I don't know why but I thought I felt someone staring directly at us.
"You okay, Bells?" Uncle Charlie said breaking me from my thoughts. I turned around and saw Bella flat on her ass. Uncle Charlie helps Bella get up as I go over there.
"Ice doesn't help the uncoordinated," Bella said. Uncle Charlie chuckles and I smiled.
"That's why I got your new tires," He said and we look at the truck, and there they were four brand new tires. I smiled at my uncle, he's doing such a great job at this. I turn to Bella who looks extremely touched by his actions.
"The other ones were nearly bald"
"You got me new tires. No one's ever done that before," Bella said making me and uncle Charlie look at her confused. Of course, they haven't done that since this is her first car. Why doesn't she just say thank you like a normal person?
"I mean... nothing," Bella said and uncle Charlie clearly doesn't understand what she was trying to say, he turns to his Cruiser and sighs.
"Well girls, I'll be late for dinner. I'm heading down to Mason County. A security guard at the Grisham Mill got killed by some kind of animal..." Uncle Charlie said making Bella and I look at her in shock.
"What?"
"An animal?"
Bella and I asked. Uncle Charlie looks away for a little and looks bad at us.
"You're not in Phoenix nor in California anymore, girls. They've been hunting it for a week with no luck. Thought I'd lend a hand"
I smiled at him and Bella nods. I went to kiss his cheek and hugged him.
"Chief Swan to the recuse," I said making him looks down embarrassed. Bella looks at her dad concerned.
"Be careful," Uncle Charlie looks at her,
"Always am"
Bella nods and gets in her truck before I go leave his side he pulls in.
"You're burning up, Annie. You should stay at home"
"I already told her but you know how she is, doesn't want too," Bella said making uncle Charlie frown and I roll my eyes.
"I got an important history test and English paper due today, so I am not staying home," I said crossing my arms. I hear Bella sigh and uncle Charlie frowns more.
"Annie if you don't feel well, please come home. I don't want you to get worst, okay"
I look at uncle Charlie and smile a little. He is trying to do his best to raise Bella and me. I still wonder, does he still feel guilty for the death of my parents? Does he blame himself for not being there and tried to help my mother? What is he thinking? Just like my parents he doesn't talk nor show any emotions so it's hard for me to know what's going on with him. Poor Charlie, he's suffering all alone, keeping it all locked up and yet he stills here fighting crime. I hugged him, surprising him.
"Don't worry, I'll come home if I don't feel well okay," I said as I pulled away from him. Uncle Charlie smiled and nods. I get inside the truck and Bella pulls out the driveway. But before she fully leaves she stops and looks over at her father. They shared some weird look.
"And thank you... for the tires," Uncle Charlie nods, not really knowing what to do in this situation. I covered up a laugh, Bella starts to drive off, leaving uncle Charlie watching us leave.
During school I wasn't feeling all too well, my head was pounding and my stomach was hurting. But I was able to make it through the day without having to go to the nurse's offices or go home. Which I was happy about. Halfway through chem class, Bella texted me that her mysterious bio partner suddenly appears. When I met her at her locker, she wasn't all too happy. She explained to me, what happened during her and Edward's little encounter and I could only say one word, strange.
Well, strange perfectly sums up the Cullen's siblings. They don't talk to the other students, they don't eat during lunchtime, I don't even know if they even eat at all. One thing that I find rather strange is the way they behave and the way the talk. Their behavior isn't like normal kids these days. They act way to properly and talk like they aren't from this time. Every single time they talk it's like they have an accent from another time. I don't say anything because I don't know them like that nor is it any of my business. But I am curious about them.
Midday was when it finally stopped raining, but the downside of it all is that the parking lot is full of water and patch of black ice. Making it difficult for drivers especially for those who have old tires. Bella and I were walking towards her truck while she was carefully navigating her way through the icy puddles. Trying really hard to not fall down or get her shoes wet. And like always, once we reach her truck she looks across the lot and I follow suit.
The Cullen's were standing by their car already staring at us. Edward standing by his silver Volvo with Jasper and Alice. I made eye contact with Alice, who was smiling at me. Suddenly she frowns, she then looks toward the sound of a high pitched screech, that rapidly grows louder and louder.
I turn to see a Van, sliding on the ice, carelessly out of control, heading directly at Bella and me. It was as if time itself slowed down and I could see everything clearly. I turn to stare at Bella who looked horrified, all I knew was that she wasn't going to die not yet not today. With all the strength I could muster up at that moment, I pushed Bella out the way knocking her on the ground. I don't know if I pushed her far enough I wasn't exactly paying attention.
As I shoved Bella away, I could hear screaming, people shouting my name but all I could concentrate was on the moving van right in front of me. The one that was coming straight at me with no mercy whatsoever. At that moment I wasn't thinking about the pain I would feel as the van would crush me like a watermelon falling to the ground. Nor the grief Uncle Charlie would once again feel. Nor would I know of Bella's loneliness and depression. Nor did I think about how would Tyler feel after finding out he killed one of his classmate, one of his friends. All I was thinking was that I would finally be at peace with my parents. That we can finally be a family once again. The van crushing me didn't seem so bad once I thought about my dead parents. The van was about to crush me and with one final last breathe, I closed my eyes and waited for my end to come.
Instead of feeling unimaginable pain or feeling like I was on fire, I felt the exact opposite. I felt something stonecold, hard like a rock, something was pinning down to the ground. Feeling a little confused about how death really feels, I opened my eyes and what I saw was something I wasn't expecting. Edward was on top of me staring at me with almost a horror face and a pained one.
His expression was as if he knew what I was thinking right before the van was about to crush me. His eyes were filled with so many emotions, was it possible that someone can have that many showing all at once? Guilt, pain, sadness, anger, worry, bitterness, and sorrow were reflecting from his eyes.
It seemed like we both stared at one another for a long time but it was just a few seconds. Without warning, time itself came back to its usual self. Several things happened; the van crushed Bella's truck causing it to spin around. Once again the van comes straight at me and Edward. Then unexpectedly, Edward stops the van with his bare hand, creating a deep dent in the side of the van's body. It stops a foot away from me. Literally, not metaphorically or any other way, but LITERALLY Edward pushes the van away. He pushed it as if it was nothing as if he really didn't just stop a full speedying van with his bare hands.
I turn to looks at Edward, who was busy staring at his hand that was still in the van's body. The silence was killing me. Edward wasn't or didn't want to turn to me. I was trying to absorb what just happened. I couldn't... what in the name of everything just happened?
Edward slowly turns to me and once again his eyes reflected the same emotions as before. He glances over my shoulder and his eyes widen some more. I follow suit. Bella was laying on the ground, mouth and eye's wide open, staring at us shocked. She was about to speak up but the screaming begin, more yelling, calls for help. People came to Tyler's aid, running towards Bella, Edward, and i. I see the onion on the ground, smashed as I would have been if it wasn't for Edward. Edward quickly lets go of me and leaves as everyone sweeps in. Mike runs to Bella helping her up and Eric came to my aid. Eric puts both of his hands on the sides of my face and looks at me up and down.
"Are you okay? Are you hurt? MaryAnne?" Eric asked me. But I couldn't actually speak up, all I did was give a nod. Taking his hands off my face I turn to the Cullens. They were staring at me with horror, guilt, shame, and... pain?
Hospital: Dr. Cullen
The way to the hospital, Bella was holding my hand, constantly asking if I was okay, am I feeling better, or if I am hurt? All I could do was nodded. I mean I was about to get crushed by a van and I wanted it to happened. Am I crazy? Why would anyone want to die? Why in that moment all I was thinking about dying? Why would I even think of such ideas like that? But what scared me the most was why was I feeling angry at Edward, when he was the one who saved me? And I knew the answer to it, I wanted to be with my parents, but I will not accept the fact that I wanted to die. I will not accept it no matter what.
Once we got to the hospital they placed, Bella, Tyler, and I in one big room to check up on. They took us to take some x-rays and other things that were important. The entire time I didn't utter a word, I just nod yes or shook my head no when they asked me a question but other than that I didn't say anything.
Was I still in shock? Perhaps, I mean not every day you see an average teenage boy stop a moving van with his bare hands, live through it and tell about it. Wait, tell about it? What if this was his secret that he's been hiding all along? What if he just accidentally mistakenly showed his secret, was that why his siblings were scared? Not because of mine and Bella's safety but because Edward accidentally showed us his true self. What if because he showed his true self, he'll get in trouble? Will they come after us because we know? Will they hurt me and Bella? Uncle Charlie? Are we even save anymore? Should we leave?
Suddenly something or someone was shaking my shoulder. I turned to see who it was and woah, when did uncle Charlie get here? Uncle Charlie, Bella, and some really handsome, God looking man were there. Based on the white lad doctor coat, I say he's some kind of doctor. There was something familiar about him that I couldn't place. He had blonde hair that was pulled back, pale skin tone, kind face, and bright golden... wait golden eyes? There was only a few who had golden eyes like those and it so happens that one boy with golden eyes saved me today.
"MaryAnne?" Uncle Charlie said walking towards me.
I wasn't paying attention to him or to anyone else besides the doctor with those golden eyes. He was staring at me and for the love of god, I could not understand his emotions. It was as if they were all over the place as if he was feeling so many all at once. His eyes locked with mine and I swear his eyes turned pitch black for a second. He quickly blinks turning his eyes back to gold, but not like before this time it was a dark gold. What happened to his bright golden eyes?
"MaryAnne, this is Dr. Cullen"
"Edward's father," Bella speaks up. Dr. Cullen looks down at his chart-making me sort of frown. Bella gets down from her gurney and comes next to me. Standing in front of me, frowning and then she turns to Dr. Cullen.
"What's wrong with her?" Bella asked Dr. Cullen. He looks up from the chart, looks at me then frowns. He took a step forward but I scoot away from him. I think he understood what I was doing so he stops, full on frowning. Dark gold eyes reflect the pain and heavily sadness, but why and for who? Dr. Cullen turns to uncle Charlie.
"Her x-rays show no indication of concussion but I received information that she hasn't talk. Perhaps we should keep-"
"I-i'm f-fine," I weakly said. Bella turns to me and frowns.
"Maybe you should stay-"
"I said I'm fine!" I said a little louder than I indicated. I sighed when I saw their faces.
"I just want to go home, take a nice hot shower and go to sleep... Can we leave now?" I asked turning to Dr. Cullen, who didn't believe that I was doing alright. I mean today just added more unnecessary things I had to cope with. First the death of my parents, moving to a small, boring, and old town, my heads been pounding for two whole days, stomach been killing me, I was about to die by a van, a teenage boy who I hasn't seen in almost a week comes back just in time to save my sorry ass, stopping a fucken van, a huge as van with his freaken bare hands, and on top of that I think I could possible me in danger because I saw some shit I shouldn't. Any more unexpectedly shit happens and I don't think I could cope as easy.
"Yeah you can leave," I quickly got off the gurney to quickly, causing everything to spin around and I fell on Bella.
"Woah," Uncle Charlie said coming to help me.
"Maybe you should stay"
"No. I want to go home... please"
It was quiet for a few seconds, Uncle Charlie then sighs and looks over at Dr. Cullen who was staring at me.
"If you feel any dizziness or nauseous come back to the hospital"
We both stared at one another. As I was staring into his eyes I thought I saw his eyes turn black once again. But this time I was the one who blinked.
"Promise me, MaryAnne"
The way he said my name, it was as if he was singing it just for me. As though it was just him and I in the room. At that moment I felt something I never felt before, something I myself cannot describe nor could I explain but this feeling was one I would never experience if it wasn't for him. Shaking my head I turn to him.
"Yeah," He takes a few more seconds staring at me when he smiles.
"Good, you may leave"
With that, he turns away and attends Tyler. Bella and I walked pass Dr. Cullen. Before I left the room, I made eye contact with Dr. Cullen but he quickly looks away. We walked for a few seconds until uncle Charlie turns around and looks at Bella.
"I just have to sign some paperwork. You better call your mother," He said making Bella go stiff next to me.
"You told her?!" He shrugs and Bells lets go of me, getting her phone from her back pocket.
"She's probably freaking out," She said before she hurries off. Uncle Charlie and I stare at her leave then he looks at me.
"I'm just going to sit here and wait for either of you to come back"'
"Good, sit and stay. I'll be back soon," He said. Before he left he helped me sit down. I sat back and closed my eyes. Minutes passed by and I wasn't feeling well. Opening my eyes I see that neither Uncle Charlie or Bells came back. I sighed but got up, my best bet would be finding Bella since I didn't know where uncle Charlie left too.
I walked not far from where I was sitting at. I see Bella and Edward arguing about something. Rosalie and her father, Dr. Cullen were on the other side of the hallway. They stared at me, Rosalie had a sad and worried expression while Dr. Cullens were curiosity.
Suddenly Bella passed me, leaving me there. Edwards goes to his family but stops and turns to me. He looks at me sadly, guilty and somewhat with anger. I stepped forward wanting to thank him but I quickly stopped.
I started to think about my family, how I could have been with them and not here. I could have been with my father and my mother up in heaven not here in this rather depressing hell. If it wasn't for him I would have been with my dear lovely family. He ruined it for me, he ruined my only chance of being with them without physically harming myself. Without taking the easy yet unholy way out.
While these thoughts racing through my mind I didn't see the horror expression Edward was giving me. I didn't see how his eyes welled up with tears that didn't fall. I didn't see his expression of pure agony, guilt, pain, and sorrow. Nor did I see the confusion of Rosalie and of Dr. Cullens.
Thinking of my parents only, I came back to reality. How could I think like that? I should be thankful and happy that I was given another chance. Fearing my mind and my thoughts, I stared at Edward but didn't fully paid attention to him. I quickly turned around and left.
During our car ride, it was silent and awkward, no one talked no sound could be heard coming out from us. When we got home we all went straight to our bedroom, that night I didn't go to sleep. I feared that if I fell asleep I would dream of something I shouldn't have or I about the accident.