Faraday's cage by Huehuetecti
A/N: Here's the third and final chapter. I'd like to thank you for reading and I hope you liked it. Please leave a review.
As usual: 'Sirius' thoughts'
'Severus' thoughts'
Ch. 3
"What day is it?" asked Sirius about a month into their stay.
"Thursday," answered Severus.
"I meant the date," replied the Gryffindor. "How can you know which day it is?" he added as an afterthought. "I lost track of the days weeks ago."
"It's the 27th June. And I ask the chamber every day."
"Why?"
"Because I feel…"
"Never mind," interrupted Sirius and started grinning like a mad man. "It's the 27th June."
"What's it to you?" asked Severus with well concealed curiosity.
"I don't have to go back," whispered Black. He started laughing and hugged the shocked Slytherin. "I don't have to go back!" he repeated louder. "Ever! I'm free of those wretched people and that cursed house!"
Severus realized what was happening and slowly smiled.
"Happy birthday, Black."
"We have to celebrate this," announced Sirius. "D'you think the chamber would give me alcohol if I asked it?"
"Doubt it," said Snape. "But if it does, get some vodka while you're at it."
Much to their surprise, the chamber did give them alcohol. Lots of it.
"Wicked," said the grinning Gryffindor and walked to the sofa. "Well, we better get comfortable. It's gonna be a long night."
Severus put on some rock music and went to sit next to Sirius.
"Cheers," he said and took a swig of whiskey.
After a few hours, 3 beers, some whiskey and a bottle of vodka, Snape found himself lying on the floor next to Black, writing what just might be the worst attempt at poetry in the history of men.
"What rhymes with lemon drop?"
Sirius was thoughtful for a few moments. "Drop, pop, mop, flop, top,… Why?"
"I'm writing a song about Dumbledore. I'm stuck with 'he always has a lemon drop'," explained the frustrated Slytherin.
"Slughorn always lets him top," said Sirius proudly and started giggling.
Severus raised an eyebrow. "Black, are you giggling?"
"No, of course not," denied the Gryffindor. "I'm far too manly to giggle. I am not a gigglish person."
"Gigglish is not a word," pointed out Severus. "And I'm not even gonna comment on that first part."
Sirius just shrugged and took another beer.
"Slughorn always lets him top," smiled Snape. "You have a sick and twisted sense of humour."
"Are you saying Dumbledore's not gay? I mean, come on, just look at him!"
"True that. But he is definitely a bottom."
"How would you know?" came a shocked reply from Sirius.
"Oh please, I recognize a bottom when I see one."
"Is that so?" There was challenge in that voice. "Then do tell, oh all-knowing one, which would I be?"
"You're a bottom," said Severus confidently.
"WHAT?!?"
"Aren't you?"
"Of course not!"
"Are you claiming your wolf-boy is a sub?" asked the smirking Slytherin.
Sirius was too shocked to answer. For a few moments at least.
"Ok, we are ending this discussion now."
"Fine."
They just drank silently for 15 minutes, when Sirius spoke again.
"I'm bored."
"Good for you."
"Not really."
"True."
Another 10 minutes passed.
"Still bored."
"Congratulations."
10 minutes later.
"Bored!"
Severus just sighed.
Yet another 10 minutes later.
"Ok fine, I'm a bottom."
"That's nice."
5 minutes later.
"Will you stop ignoring me!?"
'Victory is mine!'
"Certainly," said Severus graciously. "What would you like to do?"
"Shag Remus, but that's out of the question," answered Sirius. Then his head shot up. "I didn't just say that, did I?"
"Oh yes." Severus was wearing an evil, sadistic grin. "Yes you did."
"What are the odds of you ignoring that statement?"
"Not good."
"Thought so."
But Severus did mercifully let it drop for the moment and they talked about trivial things and theorized about the sexual lives of the professors. Several hours and a bottle of fire-whiskey later, Sirius decided he's had enough.
"I'm going to bed," he said and tried to get up, but fell right back on the floor, laughing. "Come on Snape, help me up."
"Wouldn't dream of it," answered Severus. "I'm having way too much fun right now. Do try to get up again. I'm sure you can do it."
Sirius' next attempt proved him wrong and they both laughed as he landed on the floor once more. Eventually Snape decided to be merciful and tried to help the other boy. Together they tumbled to the centaur-engraved bed and fell on it, still laughing.
"Oi, Black get of me, will you."
"Stop whining, you know you like it," leered Sirius.
"Are you trying to seduce me?" shot back Severus. "My, my, what would wolf-boy say?"
"Oh shut up," said Black and rolled to lie beside Snape rather than on top of him. "Just go to sleep," he murmured and buried his face in the side of the Slytherins neck.
Severus wrapped his hands around the smaller boy. Soon they were both asleep.
The next morning (ok, early afternoon) found Sirius in his own personal hell.
"Make it stop," he groaned as he continued 'praying to the porcelain god'. "I promise I won't drink anymore!"
"You won't drink any less either," commented the amused Severus leaning on the door frame. 'Gryffindors can't hold their booze,' he thought as he watched Sirius' next 'prayer'.
"True that," answered Sirius as he got up and washed his face. He slowly walked to the sofa and lied down. "Why don't you have a hangover? It's not fair!"
"Hey, it's not my fault you can't hold your booze," said Severus defensively. "One would think you'd be used to consuming improbably quantities of alcohol, what with all the parties you have in your tower."
'Smug, eloquent bastard!'
"Yes well, in the tower we have access to a wonderful invention called the hangover potion."
Snape produced a small vial from his robes. "You mean this little thing?" he asked with a smug smirk.
"You bastard!" exclaimed Sirius and winced at the loudness of his own voice. "Did you have that potion on you all this time?"
"Why yes."
"Then why didn't you give it to me?" asked Black slowly.
"You didn't ask," answered Snape innocently. "How was I to know you wanted some?"
"You sick, sadistic bastard!"
"Slytherin," said Severus by ways of explanation.
"Can I have some of that potion now?"
"But of course," came the generous reply. "You needed but to ask."
Sirius drank the potion and grimaced. "Someone needs to make a better tasting version of this potion."
"You're just never satisfied are you?"
"Well I am, when Remus – "
"No, no, no, no, no! Just stop that! I do not need a mental image of you and the wolf."
" – gives me chocolate," Black finished the sentence smugly. "What did you think I was going to say?"
Snape rolled his eyes. "Gives you chocolate, eh? Is that what they're calling it these days?"
Sirius' reply was cut by the sound of a howler flying from the chamber. Dumbledore's voice filled the room.
"Good afternoon boys. I trust this letter finds you in good health. As it has been a month since our last correspondence, I've decided to send you a letter to let you know the world has not forgotten you."
"I'm touched," murmured Severus. Sirius suppressed the urge to laugh.
"Also I would like to wish young mister Black a most happy birthday. As a present of sorts, you have been allowed to summon anything you wanted. But be assured, that all of your other attempts to summon any substances that are against the school rules, will be unsuccessful."
"Thank Merlin I went too far when I was ordering the alcohol," whispered Sirius as he looked at the 2 remaining 6-packs, 3 bottles of vodka, a half empty bottle of fire-whiskey and a bottle of tequila lying by the sofa. Severus shook his head, but he was laughing none the less.
"The same applies to the summoning of any magical remedies for the after-affects of the aforementioned substances."
"Do you have any potion left?" asked the suddenly concerned Gryffindor. Snape smirked and pulled out 4 remaining vials from his robes.
"A Slytherin is always prepared for the worst."
"As you should be with Sluggy-dear as your head of house," replied Sirius.
"True that."
"With all that said, I'd like to remind you that you have 5 weeks to go. In the course of the next few days, you will receive all of your new school books so that you may start preparing yourself for a new school year and your NEWTs."
Both boys snorted and shook their heads.
"Now I bid you farewell and hope the rest of your stay here will be enjoyable."
The letter folded itself and burst into flames.
"You may start preparing yourself for a new school year," said Severus in a much exaggerated version of Dumbledore's voice. "Just what I want to do," he continued sarcastically.
"Snape, I'm appalled!" exclaimed Sirius in a mock dramatic voice. "You mean to tell me, you do not spend your entire summer break learning ne exciting facts about astronomy and runes? How dare you even show your face in these hallowed grounds of learning?"
"I manage," dry panned Snape.
Black smiled. "That you do."
"Stop… no please, don't," mumbled Severus in his sleep. It was one of the few times when he went to bed first. He usually mumbled in his sleep, but it was normally not this frantic. Sirius was concerned enough to go wake him up.
"Severus, wake up." He shook him gently, but it didn't work, so he lay next to him and wrapped his arms around the Slytherin. "Come on Severus, wake up," he whispered in his ears.
Slowly the black-haired boy started to wake up. He looked around for a while and then turned in Sirius' arms and hugged him closely.
"Wanna tell me about it?" asked the Gryffindor gently.
"I… I'm not sure I can," admitted Severus.
Black nodded with understanding, but Snape could feel him tense up slightly.
'He told me about his family… I should probably tell him about mine.'
He took a deep breath and started talking.
"My mother is from some old, almost extinct blood line. Her parents were killed in a magical accident and she decided to stop being a witch."
Sirius looked shocked.
"I know it's stupid. You don't just stop being magical. But she tried. She lived like a muggle for a few years before meeting my father. He was a business man and seemed like a safe choice, so she married him and they had me. After that she decided she couldn't lie to him anymore and she told him about magic and what-not. That's when he started drinking and became violent. Mom started drinking after a year or so. He left when I was 7 and after that she started dating men that would treat her like he did. Most of them left me alone, some were violent. All of them would beat her when they were drunk. The worst one was Jim, some red-neck from Fuckville, USA. He beat me regularly and one night when he was drunk yet again, he came to my room and raped me.
Mom didn't do anything when I told her. She didn't even believe me. I was terrified of him and started locking my door and for a while I was left alone. But he came again one day and that's when my magic exploded. I sent him to the hospital with severe burns and some broken bones. That was a week before 1st year. Mom didn't do anything. She went to the hospital with him and left me alone… Gave me some money and I had to find my own way to Diagon alley and the Hogwarts express.
When I came home for the summer, she'd had a new boyfriend. She started ignoring me. She gave me money and that was about it. Most of her boyfriends ignored me as well. Some would beat me occasionally, but it was never really bad. So I guess it was better then before. I could live a semi-normal life. Still have nightmares though…"
"Don't we all, mate," said Sirius soothingly. He was obviously shocked. 'I can't believe I made all those comments about his family… No wonder he hated me.'
They lay in silence for a long time before Severus got up.
"I have to take a shower."
Sirius nodded and got up as well. He went back to drawing the centaur. That damned foot was still making him frustrated. That and the rose.
"You've been drawing that centaur for as long as we've been here," said Severus. Sirius did his best not to jump in surprise. He didn't even hear the other boy approaching.
"It's not finished," he said simply.
Snape raised and eyebrow. "It looks finished to me," he commented.
Black shrugged and changed the subject. "You ok now?"
"I think so," replied Severus. "You?"
"Yeah."
"What time is it?"
"Midnight."
"Oh…"
"Do you know the date?"
"6 days to go."
Sirius' head shot up. "You're kidding. We've been here for 2 months?"
A nod.
"Wow."
"Yeah."
They sat silently for an hour or so, Sirius drawing, Severus reading, and then they went to bed.
The next few days passed too fast and much too slow at the same time. This room became their sanctuary. They could be themselves here, because they were so alike, there was no need to hide anything from each other. It was liberating.
"Last day," said Sirius quietly. The other boy just nodded. "We still have a bottle of tequila… I'm sure the chamber would give us lemons and salt."
"I have 2 more vials of the potion," confirmed Severus. "But get cinnamon and oranges, it tastes better."
Sirius nodded and went to the chamber. Severus emptied the centre of the room and the table. Then he prepared 2 shots as Sirius put the fruit on the table.
"I hope you hold tequila better then you hold vodka," teased Severus.
"Is that a challenge?"
"Maybe. If you think you're up for it."
"You're on," grinned Sirius and poured 6 more shots. "Are we going for speed or quantity?"
"Quantity."
The Gryffindor nodded his consent and licked his hand. "Gimme the cinnamon."
He took the first shot and looked at Severus challengingly. "Your turn."
Snape smirked and took a shot.
When they drank the first few shots (each), Severus poured another 8 glasses.
"Challenge," said Sirius. Snape looked at him and nodded. "No cinnamon."
"Ok."
Half and hour and 4 shots later, Sirius was starting to think this was a really bad idea. He was never a big tequila fan, but he couldn't just ignore a challenge.
"Challenge," said Severus as he poured more shots.
"Ok."
"No oranges."
Sirius nodded and took a shot. He grimaced, but managed to swallow.
'I am never drinking tequila again.'
Severus drank his shot, but he couldn't hold it down, so he ran to the bathroom.
'How humiliating.'
"And here I thought Gryffindors couldn't hold their booze," teased Sirius.
Snape tried to reply, but his body was too budy rejecting tequila. Sirius took this as a sign they should stop. He got the potion from Severus' robes and drank his vial. When the Slytherin was done with his 'prayers', he drank the potion as well and they went to lie on the sofa.
"That was a bad idea," said Severus.
"Agreed," replied the smaller boy.
"Last day…"
"Yeah. How weird."
"I know."
"We've been here for 2 months and we didn't kill each other."
"I guess there's no point in putting on a show, when there's no one here to see it."
'Is that what we've been doing?' thought Sirius. 'So what happens when we leave?'
"So do we put on a show when we leave?" he asked slowly.
"Do you want to?"
"No, not really."
"Me neither. So I guess we don't."
Sirius nodded. 'Like it's that simple.' He thought about it for a few minutes. 'Maybe it is.'
"You know, I still haven't apologized," he said silently.
"For what?" asked Severus.
"You know…," he trailed of. "That whole werewolf trying to kill you thingy."
Snape didn't know how to react. He knew he couldn't forgive him, but holding a grudge for the rest of his natural life wasn't all that appealing either.
"It's… ok," he said slowly.
Sirius was stunned. This was not what he expected. There was a tense silence for a few minutes then Severus spoke.
"When d'you reckon they're gonna let us out?"
Sirius shrugged. "Dumbledore's letter said around noon."
"We should probably go to bed."
"Guess so."
But they remained sitting there for another hour or so, before Sirius finally stood up and went to the beds. He looked at the indecisively. Then he went to lie on the centaur-engraved one. Severus soon joined him and they fell asleep cuddled together.
"Will you finish packing already? We need to get out in 5 minutes," said Severus.
"I'm done," answered Sirius and walked to the door. Severus joined him and for a minute or so they just watched the room silently.
"I guess this is it," said Sirius.
"You have a wonderful grasp of the obvious," dry panned Severus. The Gryffindor just smiled.
"So I'll see you at dinner."
Suddenly Severus got a strange twinkle in his eyes. He pressed Sirius against the wall and kissed him fiercely. After a minute he broke the kiss and smirked wickedly.
"Definitely a sub."
He winked at the shocked Gryffindor and walked away gracefully.
*5 minutes later*
"Sirius, are you ok? You look a little pale," said James.
The young Black shook his head. "Yeah I'm fine."
"You look surprisingly alive for someone who's just spent 2 months with Snivelly," commented his friend.
"Do I?" asked Sirius innocently.
"You do," confirmed James. "What did you do for 2 months?"
"Oh you know the usual. We laughed a little, cried a little, got royally pissed together, went to bed and cuddled every morning," said Sirius evenly. "Nothing out of the ordinary."
Potter started laughing. "You have a sick and twisted sense of humour."
"You have no idea," smirked Sirius.
'He always has a lemon drop; Slughorn always lets him top…'
'And Remus thought I couldn't do poetry.'
In his office, Dumbledore was twinkling like mad.
"See Fawkes, I told you it would work."
The phoenix squeaked and drank a little water. The headmaster took another lemon drop.
"You know, I've always wanted to write and ode to sweets. What rhymes with lemon drop?"
A/N 2.0: ok so… did you like it? It's the last chapter. I'm not doing a sequel, but anyone who would like to do it, just let me know. Oh and I'd love to see someone write the poem that Severus was writing. You just have to put in those two verses: 'He always has a lemon drop; Slughorn always lets him top.'
Please review and thank you for reading.