Episode One: Part Three
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The crowd cheered and clapped as the show came back from its second commercial break. The camera panned around the audience before focusing on the host.
"Welcome back to 'Whose Line is it, Anyway?', the show where everything's made up and the points don't matter." SSBFreak said. "That's right. The points are pointless. Just like the presidential campaign ad of Fawful."
The audience laughed as SSBFreak pulled out another card and looked over it.
"Okay, this next game is a game called 'Improbable Mission'. This one's for Skidd, Demyx and Dingodile." The audience clapped as the three performers stood up. Demyx and Skidd stepped onto the main platform while Dingodile stepped to the side, standing beside the desk. "Here's how the game works. Skidd and Demyx are secret agents and they're carrying out a mundane, everyday activity. Their instructions will come from Dingodile over here." With that, SSBFreak turned to the audience. "What I need from the audience is a mundane, everyday activity."
"Mowing the lawn!"
"Laundry!"
"Getting groceries!"
"Getting the mail!"
"Getting the mail. That's a good one." SSBFreak said as the audience gave a quick laugh. "Okay, so your mission is to get the mail. You guys can start whenever you're ready."
Skidd stepped off to the side of the main platform, then came back on, pretending to hold something in his hand.
"Dude, look what I found in the mailbox!" Skidd said.
"A tape." Demyx noted as he stepped forward and pretended to open up a tape player. "You think it's another mission?"
"Wouldn't be surprised, bro." Skidd nodded as he placed the tape in the player and pretended to press play.
"…Ah love you…You love me…" Dingodile sang into his microphone. The audience laughed as Demyx promptly hit stop and flipped the tape over, pressing play again.
"Hello, agents." Dingodile greeted normally.
"Good morning." Skidd and Demyx said as one.
"Men, we have a real crisis on our hands. The president of Stampatobia, a small country west of Turkey, is in town, but he had been incredibly busy and unable to get his mail." Dingodile instructed. "Due to this, you both have ta get the mail fer him and deliver it ta his hotel. The gold-plated mailbox outside of his hotel is booby-trapped, so be extremely careful. If you guys get caught or killed trying to do a mission this easy, yer nothing but complete and utter morons."
"Isn't he great?" Demyx asked Skidd.
"Totally, man." Skidd replied.
"If ya don't throw this tape out yer apartment window, it will self destruct in 5…4…3…"
Demyx took the tape from the player as Skidd opened up the window. Demyx quickly chucked the tape out the window.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa…" Dingodile said as the tape was thrown out the window. The audience laughed.
"Well, you think we should go, man?" Skidd asked.
"You know it." Demyx nodded. "Let's get to it."
Skidd and Demyx clasped hands and gave each other a handshake as some spy music started. The two looked around for a bit.
"Wait, man! That hotel this dude's staying in is all the way across the city!" Skidd said. "We'll never make it there in time!"
"Oh, yes we will!" Demyx said. "Have you already forgotten about my trademark jetpack?"
Skidd slapped himself in the forehead. "I can't believe I forgot that, bro. Let's go!"
"Right! Get on my back!"
Skidd grabbed hold of Demyx's shoulders, pretending to climb onto his back. Demyx pretended to fire up a jetpack and started walking around the platform, giving the impression that he was flying around. Skidd walked behind him, but was making faces as if he was in pain.
"Dude, your jetpack is burning my knees!" Skidd shouted.
"Oh! Sorry!" Demyx said. "There's nothing we can do about it, now!"
"Why the heck do I have to be on your back if YOU have the jetpack?!" Skidd demanded, granting him a laugh.
"You know that my arms haven't been the same since that mission to Kerbleekatopia!" Demyx retorted.
"You said you'd never bring that up again, man!"
Suddenly, Demyx made a sputtering noise as he staggered around a couple of steps.
"Lousy batteries." Demyx muttered as he and Skidd pretended to fall down, causing the audience to laugh hard.
"Dude, what're we gonna do?!" Skidd asked. "The gound's coming up fast!"
"What sort of invention did those guys at HQ give you?!" Demyx asked.
Skidd reached through his pockets for a second. "I've got an instant trampoline!" He said.
"Use it! Use it!"
Skidd pretended to pull something from his pocket and threw it downwards. "Okay, dude! It's activated!"
Demyx and Skidd pretended to land on and bounce off of something. When they hit the ground again, they rolled forward a couple of steps.
"Dude, we made it! We're alive!" Skidd said as he got up.
"Yeah, but unfortunately, we don't have a way to figure out where the hotel is, now." Demyx noted as he got up as well. "It could be anywhere in the city!"
"There it is across the street, man." Skidd pointed out. The audience laughed hard.
"Oh. Perfect!" Demyx said as the two pretended to cross the road. "Okay, here we are! You see the gold-plated mailbox around here anywhere?"
"There it is, man!" Skidd said as the two of them went over.
"Now all we need to do is get the mail out of it." Demyx said as he reached forward, only for Skidd to grab his arm.
"Dude, remember what our boss said?! That thing is booby-trapped!" Skidd replied.
"Oh! Right!"
"We need to think of a way to get past those defenses…" Skidd pondered.
Demyx stood in silence for a couple of seconds before pretending to pull a blunt object out of nowhere and swinging it forward, pretending to strike the mailbox. The audience laughed.
"Dude, you knocked the mailbox off the post! What'd you do that for?!" Skidd asked.
"Hey, it got past the defenses." Demyx replied as he picked up the mailbox.
"Well, now we just need to find a way to get in…" Skidd mused.
Again, Demyx stood in silence for a couple of seconds before simply opening the mailbox and taking out the mail inside.
"Got it!" Demyx said. Skidd threw up his hands and hopelessness.
The audience laughed and cheered as SSBFreak hit the buzzer a few times, ending the game. Skidd, Demyx and Dingodile returned to their seats as the cheering quieted down.
"When all else fails, just open the mailbox, eh?" SSBFreak asked.
"People never suspect it being that easy." Demyx replied with a chuckle.
"That's probably just the thing." Waluigi said. "When trying to get into a mailbox like that, people always assume the hard way's the only way."
The audience laughed as SSBFreak shook his head with a smirk.
"Thousand point a piece. Okay, let's move on to our final game of the evening…Hoedown!" The audience cheered as everyone got up from their chairs and stepped onto the main platform of the stage, lined up in the same order they were seating. "How this works is that these guys are going to sing a Hoedown based on a suggestion from the audience with the help of our piano-man Schroeder!" The blonde, young man at the piano off the stage waved to the crowd as the audience cheered.
"Now, what I need from the audience is a suggestion of a type of person that you hate." SSBFreak said.
"Mime!" Someone shouted quickly.
"Okay, we'll go with that." SSBFreak shrugged as the audience laughed. "So, let's hear the 'Mime Hoedown'. Take it away, Schroeder. Whenever you're ready, go ahead and start."
Cracking his knuckles, Schroeder started played the Hoedown tune on the piano as the four performers started dancing around on the stage. The audience clapped with the tune of the music as Waluigi stepped forward and sang his verse.
"Oh, yes. I am a mime. I'm as good as you can be."
"Whenever people think of mimes, they always think of me."
"I never let the insults bug me. I never am a jerk."
"I just hold all of my anger in behind that stupid smirk!"
The audience laughed and cheered lightly as Waluigi steped back and started dancing in place. Dingodile stepped up next and waited for the tune to arrive at the spot where he was supposed to start singing at.
"Ah really hate ta look at mimes. They really make me sick."
"They just wave their arms around. It's a stupid shtick."
"It must be a lonely life. They're really not a catch."
"Cause it's impossible to get a girl when yer dressed as a match!"
The cheer for Dingodile's part of the song was definitely louder than Waluigi's, but not by much. The two performers linked arms and started dancing in a circle as Demyx stepped up next and sang his verse.
"It must be hard to be a mime. I just couldn't take the stress."
"Trying to make people laugh would get me in a mess."
"And just look at the cartoons where mimes are made fun of instead."
"Whenever a mime does his stuff, an anvil falls on his head."
The audience laughed as Demyx started dancing around in place. Waluigi and Dingodile turned around and started dancing in a circle going in the opposite direction. As the others danced, Skidd stepped forward to finish the song.
"Oh, I am a mime and let me tell you. It's not fun."
"When people see me do my thing, they always scream and run."
"It always makes me angry. I really need to vent."
"But hey, it could be worse. I could be president!"
"Could be president!!" The four performers sang to finish the Hoedown, although Waluigi was laughing hard as the same time. After the music finished, the four performers laughed and waved to the cheering crowd.
"Okay, that was great!" SSBFreak laughed as he looked at a camera. "Hey, that's all the time we have for tonight! We'll see you next time on 'Whose Line is it, Anyway?'!"
End of Episode One
Author's note: Well, that's the first episode done. Don't worry. I intend to do more, and when I do enough performers, I'll mix and match with those you've already seen act.