Goodbye to You

Two weeks later she accidentally bumped into him while crossing the intersection on her way home from the library, and for three heart-stopping seconds their eyes met and both froze on the spot, without any words to say. Only the constant honking of an upcoming car's horn broke them from their reverie, and quickly he pulled her to the sidewalk lest they become two more victims of reckless driving (or absentmindedness in their part).

Only when they reached the safety of the sidewalk did she finally found the voice in her throat back, and she bowed low to utter an apology she didn't feel like giving. "Gomenasai, Otohata-kun," she said, using his last name instead of his first, and he winced just the slightest bit at her sudden formality.

He grunted in response and she felt her cheeks burn red in embarrassment, and to cover it up she feigned a fake smile and started walking away, turning back only slightly to wave and bid him farewell.

She never got five steps away from him.

A firm hand held her wrist, and she turned around to stare at him, wide-eyed. "Nani?" she blinked. "Do you need something, Otohata-kun?"

That formality again. He suddenly felt the urge to whack her on the head for acting so distant, so… un-Aya-like. And he held her wrist tighter, until she winced from his hold. Only then did he loosen his grip and muttered a quick apology.

She blinked once again, worry starting to show on her pretty face. "Otohata-kun, is there something wrong?" she asked, stepping forward to get a better look of his face.

He looked away, hand still around her wrist, and answered. "We need to talk."

Another blink. Boy, was she blinking a lot that day. "Eh?"

He faced her, determination written all over his beautiful blue eyes. "We need to talk. And no, you can't say no."

Such was the resolve in his voice that Aya could only manage a small squeak and allow him to pull her out of the thickening afternoon crowd.

They ended up in theirplace. Her face paled, and for a split second she wondered if, perhaps, Rei had everything planned out – that the coincidental encounter in the middle of the intersection was in fact not a coincidence at all.

He made her sit down on her usual spot on the bench, and he took his, and both looked out to nowhere, not wanting to meet the other's eyes. After tense minutes of silence, he finally took enough courage to face her and as gently as he could (whatever gentlemeant to Rei), he took her hand, earning a small gasp from the blue-haired beauty.

"I'm only going to say this once, Aya," he said, his eyes never leaving her face, even when she refused to look back at him. "I want you back."

And she nearly choked her throat out, because he was so frank and straightforward she wasn't sure if it was indeed the Rei Otohata she knew from high school. She kept her eyes glued on her sandals, refusing to believe that coldhearted Otohata was actually asking her back into his life.

How many times had she dreamt of this exact scene? How many sleepless nights did she hope and wish Rei would come knocking at her door and ask if they could work things out? How many tears had she shed because of him? Wasn't this what she wanted? To hear from him that he needed her as much as she needed him?

But everything seemed so wrong. She wanted nothing more than throw her arms around his neck and cry "yes, yes," feel his firm yet gentle embrace around her, hear him whisper the softest, most sincere apology he could muster. And there he was, right before her eyes, asking her back. No, not asking. Telling her he wanted her back.

Before she could even think clearly, she surprised both him and herself. "No," she whispered, gentle, but full of resolve.

"What?" he choked back in reply. Was it possible that Aya was actually refusing him?

"No, Rei," she repeated, using his first name, finally. "You can't have me back." She stood up and pulled her hand away, taking a step back and facing him fully for the first time. "Gomen."

"What are you talking about?" he asked, standing as well and attempting to take a step towards her. She held a hand to stop him. "Isn't this what you wanted? Aya?" He couldn't understand what was happening, or why his eyes suddenly stung with tears. It wasn't as if he was desperate to get her back. He kept telling himself that he was doing it more for her than for himself. But now that Aya was blatantly refusing him, he felt his chest contracting, as if it wanted to explode in sorrow. "Why?"

"Because," she said as steadily as she can. Her voice was starting to quake, and if she faltered once he'd know she was merely faking it – that she, in fact, wanted him so badly. She shook her head and took another step back.

"Because?" he pressed, determined not to go down without a fight. Darn it, he had risked so much of his pride to get this far, he'd be damned if things didn't go the way he had planned. "Because what?"

"Just because," she whispered, tears threatening to fall. "I'm sorry Rei, this will never work out. Both you and I know it. You do not love me that way."

What the hell is she talking about? he growled to himself. Isn't this enough proof that I do love her? Why is she suddenly so distant? What happened to the Aya Hoshino I know?

"Gomen," she repeated, bowing low once again and turning around, running and disappearing from his view.

Rei blinked at the retreating lady until he can no longer see her, and it was then that he felt the full force of his tears cascading down his eyes.

Aya reached her house and the safety of her room, only to collapse on her bed in a fit of frightful tears. "I'm so sorry," she sobbed in her pillow, "I'm so very sorry Rei. I'm so sorry." She couldn't fully understand why she had refused him, but she felt like it was the right thing to do. Though her heart threatened to break and steal her life away from her, she had stood firm and did not take him back.

"I'm so sorry," she continued, her pillow getting more and more soaked with tears. "I want you, I want you so badly, Rei. I want you here. But I can't. I can't. Not anymore." Another sob. "I'm not giving in this time, Rei. We don't deserve a happy ending. You don't." Hugging her pillow tighter, she continued sobbing until, mercifully, she slowly succumbed into a dreamless sleep, her very last words whispered softly for no one to hear:

"Goodbye…"

Sneak peak from This Ruined Puzzle:

And as the months passed by and he received no word, he slowly felt himself fade away, hiding from everyone and everything and never wanting to leave his house ever again. And he got calls from Yuuya and the others, heck, even Yamato called to check on him one time, and he pushed them all away, preferring to be buried alive inside his basement rather than face the fact that Aya no longer loved him like before.