Chapter 3: Cold as Ever

"I'm so bored!" I complained while watching the snow falling through the room's window. I turned to the clock; it was almost midnight but couldn't sleep.

I fell back on the bed and closed my eyes, trying to calm my mind. I stayed like this for half an hour, but couldn't sleep.

"Why? Why can't I get that out of my mind?" I silently muttered to myself.

The reason I couldn't sleep was because of what happened earlier that day. No matter what I did, it would always pop up back in my mind.

After a while, I decided to stand from the bed once again and leaned closer to the window. The seventh was always a calm and silent place, and the patient doesn't have bed time restriction… But tonight, I was unusually dark and silent.

I sighed and walked toward the living room. As I entered in, I recognized the boy who just transferred this morning. He was sitting on a pliable chair, watching the window. Next to him, Setsumi was sitting on a pliable chair as well.

It looked like they are talking about their families and some other dramatic issues. I didn't want to interrupt them, so I turned back. But as I was about to leave, the boy spotted me.

"Ah, you can't sleep too?" He asked me "By the way, I just transferred here… My name is Atou Yuu." His voice was calm for now. I guess it's his way of greeting.

I then decided to walk into the big room and greed them back with a forced smile. "Nice to meet you, Atou-kun! I'm Kousaka Honoka; but you can call me Honoka! I just transferred here as well…" I took a seat by Setsumi's left so that the petite girl was at the middle.

The room was now filled with silence as we three were watching the white and dark scenery of the outside world through that window.

"So," Setsumi was the first to break the silence "…have you decided?"

"Decided what?" I asked, having no idea of what to answer.

"Have you decided on where do you plan to die?" Her voice was stoic but soft. That was the first time I could hear someone talk so easily about death.

That caught me out of guard, so I just asked her the question back. "I don't know yet… How about you?"

She didn't say anything. I though she doesn't know either.

"And you?" I didn't even bother turning to the boy because I was sure that he knew I was asking about his choice.

"Me?" I guess he was taken by surprise too. He took a little pause. "…I don't want to die at home for sure… but I don't want to die here as well…"

"So, he wants a third choice… I kind of get how he felt."

After a while, the tiny girl stood up, bowed slightly at us and left the room with no more words. The boy left as well not long after that. I was left alone again.

After taking another glance at the clock, I let go of another sigh. "Two in the morning… I couldn't get any sleep."

I turned back to the window once again and watched the flakes of snow slowly falling from the outside dark sky. It was rather cold that night, but I didn't really mind it. To be honest, I didn't care. All that was in my head was what happened earlier.

- Flashback -

At the hospital's rear garden, I was sitting on a bench, alone. A nurse called for Maki few minutes earlier, so she had to leave for half an hour. The sun was high in the sky and the temperature was rather high since there was no sign of any cloud.

It was rather hot in addition to the fact that I was still in pajama. One thing was sure; pajama are made for cold weathers and aren't that comfortable in summer or sunny day. I could feel sweats forming in my forehead and other place in my body.

After deciding it wasn't that wise to just sit on an exposed bench, I stood up and went for a small walk but then stopped after about ten meters. I was already panting, exhausted by that little walk.

"I am so pathetic!" I whispery cursed myself for such weakness.

As I now watched around me, I spotted a perfect spot for resting. I saw a small zone with green grass surrounding a big tree. I slowly walked toward that direction. Once there, I rested my back on the tree and watched the garden from that spot, at the shadow of the big tree.

The garden was little than I though seen by that spot. I closed my eyes as I sat on the grass. The wind was gently whispering and the sunlight was gently warm. It was the perfect place to relax.

I opened my eyes once again as I felt something vibrating from my pocket. I picked whatever was there and saw the phone's screen showing that I got three unread messages. I let go of a sigh before reading the messages.

Normally, the usage of cell phone was prohibited for patients, but that law didn't apply to us from the seventh. We were free to bring phones, laptop, and even game console. The only limit was that we were not allowed to bother the other patients while using these.

[From: Kousaka Yukiho

Hey Onee-chan! How is it there? I wanted to get there this morning before classes, but Mom didn't allow me. What a pain! I just wanted to pay a little visit. A-anyway, I just wanted to let you know that we are all fine.]

I couldn't help a giggle to escape from my lips. "Yukiho… You're always such Tsundere." I decided to reply to her message.

[Re: Hey Yukiho; I am fine. You know what? Maki-chan is my helper. I was really surprised to hear that she started home-studying.]

After receiving the delivery report, as I was about to read the other messages, I couldn't help but to let go of a sigh as I saw the time and the date. "11:00AM; December 23rd…"

I somehow felt sad for some weird reasons. I just decided to lie on the grass and closed my eyes again as to relax my mind.

When I woke up and opened my eyes, the thirst thing I saw was Maki. My head was resting on her lap as she was reading a book. Her face brightened as she saw me opening my eyes.

"Ah, Honoka! Did you sleep well?" She gave me a bright smile. I just smiled back as a response.

After taking a glance around, I realized that it was already late. The sun was down, ready to settle anytime soon with a beautiful wedding of red and orange color.

"Oh, I overslept?" I just asked in surprise.

She just smiled back as I stood from her lap. We were now standing close to each other, watching that sun. After the huge orb of 'Hydrogen and Helium' disappeared behind the far horizons, we finally decided to go back inside the building.

After taking the elevator directly at the seventh, we walked toward the room with me clinging to her left arm as usual since she said she didn't mind. I was really glad to hear that since I had near zero confidence about my walking abilities.

As we arrived at the room, I directly walked toward the bed and attempted to get on it, but failed. I tried to climb, but lost my balance and fell on the floor instead.

I could hear Maki trying to hold her laugher as I was fooling around, trying to get into the bed. Even though I was slightly embarrassed to show such childish and weak face of mine, it made me so happy to see her smile, so I just smiled back.

"Shall I help you out?" She proposed. That was something I couldn't refuse. She helped me getting in the bed and then placed the pliable chair beside so she could sit there. "Do you… Do you want to play something?" She shyly asked. Her expression was so funny, I couldn't say no.

"Ok! Rock-Paper-Scissor truth or dare!" I proposed. "We do Rock-Paper-Scissor and the looser has to reply to one question or to do an act for the winner."

Maki blushed at the proposition but decided to nod her head.

"Now then, let's go!" On the first round, I use rock as she put scissor. I won! "Now then, truth or dare?" I playfully ask.

"D-dare, I guess…"

"Then, bring me a glass of water!"

She did as I told and we continued. On the next round, I lost against a paper.

"I choose truth!"

"Then, tell me…" She slightly fidgeted with the hem of her dress's skirt. "Have you already kissed anyone?" It was hard to not see the deep red blush on her face. "I-it's not as if I really want to know personally. That question just randomly…" I just smiled at her cute Tsundere act.

"Of course! I've already kissed Mom and Yukiho on the cheek and the forehead!" I energetically answered.

"I-I mean, on the lips…" She corrected her question, now her face as red as a tomato.

"On the lips… No… I suppose…" I placed a finger on my chin and thought. "No! I am sure! I have never kissed anyone before."

We the got another round and I lost again.

"This time, I go with dare!"

"T-Then, ki-kiss me…" She proposed.

I could feel the blood from my whole body gathering at my face. As I was trying to catch on the actual situation, the red-head was fidgeting even more with the hem of her dress, avoiding direct eye contact.

"I-I guess I have no choice." I answered as I put another big smile.

Maki just watched with confusion, but soon relaxed. She decided to drop the Tsundere façade for this once.

I leaned closer until our faces were only few centimeters away from each other. Sure, I liked Maki, so I didn't mind giving her my first kiss, but something was telling me deep inside to thing some more. At the end, I decided to ignore that little voice and sealed our lips together.

My mind got blank at that moment as our lips clashed few times. We parted after few seconds that felt like eternity for me. We were now voiceless, while just staring at each other, a pair of baby blue orb meeting with a pair of amethyst ones.

As I was regaining my mind, I saw a figure standing close to the door. I lifted my head to have a better view of the person.

"Kotori-chan?" My blood became suddenly cold at the thought of meeting her in such place at such time – after making her witness what happened earlier. She was silently standing close to the door, clad in a green one-piece dress, with a bouquet of flower in hand, eyes wet from few tears.

Before anyone could do anything, the ash-haired girl rushed back outside, dropping the bouquet of white lily on the floor. I turned toward Maki. She was looking down, her hands trying to hide her face. She was sobbing just like Kotori earlier. Seeing all that brought tears to my eyes.

"I'm sorry, Honoka…" Maki apologized as I looked back at her. "…I know you like Kotori… I'm sorry I asked you-"

"It's nothing!" I cut her statement as I forced another smile.

She let herself fell onto my chest as we cried for some minutes. I gently stroke her hair while making circles on her back as to comfort her. To be hones, I felt like I was the one being comforted as she wrapped her arms around my waist.

After Maki calmed down, we let go of each other before she bowed at me and walked out of the room, seeing it was rather late. I couldn't thing straight after that as my thoughts would always turn back to these events.

- End of the Flashback -

I sighed to myself looking at that window. "Why am I so stupid?" I touched my lips. "Hers were so soft…" By 'her', I meant Maki.

True I was in love with Kotori, but I feel something for Maki as well. I only realized it earlier that day, but I felt something warm within my chest every time I saw her smile. She has been doing so many things for me. Maybe… just maybe… I fell in love with my former junior.

With that, I went back into my room and fell back on the bed. I closed my eyes and tried to sleep once again. "What should I do now?" I let go of another sigh before falling asleep.

[-x-x-x-]

A/N:

Talking about white lilies, there are many beliefs regarding them. One, they represent the purity of love between women. Two, they represent purity after death. And three, some believe that they can grand wishes; there is a saying that when a pure maiden wishes something, the guardian spirit of flowers will grant them.