A Midcommonwealthian Night's Dream
By: Rommie and Beka
Review Responses
L. C. Brotherton: Umm, probably. Or, ya know, this could be their real personalities, and what we see on TV is the true insanity.
Small Ville: Thanks!
B.L.A. the Mouse: Beka can't spell. Rommie was supposed to read it over. Farscape is cool!
prin69: Hehehehehehehe. Yes, we're so damn special! Heh, I, (Beka), came up with that line! Worship me! Anyway, um, thanks for the review! And no, it's not going to be Beka/Rhade, because I know that's what you're cheering for.
II.1 Enter a Fairy at one door, and Rev Bem at another.
REV Hello. Where are you off to on this fine day?
FAIRY Too many places to list here. I need some dewdrops for cowslip ears. Goodbye.
REV I advise you not to come here tonight. King Seamus will be here tonight, and your queen is jealous over the boy whom your queen has acquired. He may cause you some trouble if any of you are here.
FAIRY Hey…aren't you that evilishy, um, sprite that misleads some people, and grants un to others good fortune? Or am I hallucinating.
REV Yes…that is true. I, um, make people laugh. I do no harm, I swear! But you should go, King Seamus is coming!
FAIRY My queen hates him.
Enter Seamus, the King of Fairies, at one door, with his train; and the Queen Chiana, at another, with hers.
SEAMUS I really didn't need this tonight…
CHIANA Oh, you're just jealous of my new friend! I've got him very well protected, don't worry.
SEAMUS Oh, come on, we're married, right! I deserve the boy just as much as you do!
CHIANA Yeah, we're married, but you ran off. Why are you back now, your mistresses not keeping you happy?
SEAMUS But you tricked Dylan into getting lost out in the woods after he cheated on Trance, didn't you!
CHIANA I haven't seen you for a while, in that time, you managed to go and get Mother Nature pissed at us! All of the seasons are messed up, and it's all your fault!
SEAMUS Ok, so give me the kid, and I'll stop!
CHIANA Look, this kid is the son of one of my best friends who happened to have the unfortunate affliction of mortality. I'm taking care of him for her, because she's dead!
SEAMUS How long are you gonna be here?
CHIANA We'll be here until after Dylan's wedding night. If you can be a good sport and not piss anyone off, you can stay. If not, well, be gone!
SEAMUS K, if I can have the kid, I'll be good and come along like a good little king.
CHIANA Um, how about not. Let's go, people!
Exit Chiana and her train.
SEAMUS Fine! Go! I'll get my revenge! Hey, um, Rev? C'mhere. Remember when I heard that mermaid on that rock a while back, and everybody loved her song?
REV I remember.
SEAMUS Well, while I was there, I saw Cupid shoot an arrow. It was supposed to make a bunch of girls fall in love with a bunch of guys, but instead, it just hit some poor little flower. The flower used to be white, now it's purple. Girls call it 'Love-in-idleness'. Get it! If you squirt the juice of it on someone's eyes, they'll fall in love with the next living thing they see! Yes….hehehehehe! Go! Get it, Rev!
REV I'm going!
Exit
SEAMUS Ok, when Chiana is sleeping, I'll put this stuff on her eyes, and then she'll fall in love with some nasty critter! Then, I'll take it off her eyes when she's good and embarrassed, and she'll give me that kid! Yes, worship me! I'm so damn smart! Oh, crap! People! I'm invisible so I can eavesdrop!
Enter Rhade, Rommie following him.
RHADE AAHH! Go away! Can your little artificial brain not comprehend that I don't love you? Eh! You told me that Rebecca and Tyr would be here. They're, umm, not. I need to kill Tyr because he's a traitor to Dylan! Yes, that's why. Then Beka will be my wife and have lots of kids! Shoo!
ROMMIE But I love you! If you weren't so damn hot, I wouldn't chase you! Disfigure yourself! Then I'll leave.
RHADE Have I given you any indication that I love you? No! I've told you to leave, and yet you still linger! I hate you! Go! Away!
ROMMIE Please love me! Or…tolerate me! I'll do anything! I'm a mere computer. Use me as you would a calculator! And I will follow you!
RHADE You make me sick.
ROMMIE You, umm, don't make me sick. Sick with love, I guess.
RHADE You know, Nietzscheans don't consider Ais actual people, therefore they have no rights. And there's no one around. You're very trusting of me, especially considering I hate you.
ROMMIE No, you're too honorable to take advantage of me.
RHADE I'm going to go away. How's your survival training?
ROMMIE Pretty damn good. You can run, but I'm faster.
RHADE I'm leaving! And if you follow me, well, it's not my fault if those mean old mercenaries that, umm, Dylan hired to kill you get here!
ROMMIE I'm a fricken warship! And I'm beautiful! Worship me!
Exit Rhade
I'm coooooommmmmmmmiiiiiiiinnnnnnng!
Exit
SEAMUS Stupid Uber. That's so mean! Don't worry, even if you don't love me, I'll make you happy, Rommie!
Enter Rev.
Got it! Huh huh huh! Oh…hi, by the way…
REV Yes, yes I've got it.
SEAMUS Gimme! Ok, there's a grove of trees where Chiana sleeps. I'm gonna go put this stuff on her eyes so she falls in love with something ugly! I have a job for you, though. There's a really hot android that's in love with a Nietzschean who doesn't love her. Go put this stuff on his eyes so that he will fall in love with her! You'll know him, well, by the bone blades!
REV Ok.
Exit