Soulless_Eyes_3

Only a short part, I am sorry. Digimon doesn't belong to me. If you have any comments, suggestions or requests you can mail me every time.



Soulless Eyes

by Kaeera





Why is it so dark?

I don't want to go away.

They are hunting me. Every time when I try to get out of here, they come back.

The pain.

The pictures.

The screams.

But when I stay here, they let me in peace.

So I stay.

It's cold and lonely.

Sometimes the pain catches me here, too. Then I close my eyes and yell, yell with all me might. But no sound comes out of my lips.

I see the images and the only thing I want is to forget them.

Forget.

Forget and the pain can't reach you.

Forget....

*

Is this really you?

I can't believe it.

I just can't.

I never thought that you could look so...broken. Empty. Dead.

Can you hear me? It's me, your friend.TK.

Do you remember me?

It's afternoon and we are visiting you again. We, that means Ken, Kari and me. Cody has Kendo practise and Yolei has to help in the shop.

And we just sit there, silent, everybody reflecting his own thoughts.

We are all afraid that you will stay like this. You can't!

Long ago someone told me that people can hear your thoughts when you think only mighty enough. That's what I do right now. Maybe these unspoken words will reach you, somehow...It's stupid, I know, but it gives me hope.

You don't notice the things which happen around you, do you?

For example Jun. She visits you every day. I never expected that – I always thought that you hate her, and she hates you.
But I was wrong.

She loves you, Davis.

And she cries for you.

She looks so sad and worried. That's....unusual.

It's as unusual as a silent Davis.

A Davis who stares through you with dead eyes.

Eyes without a soul.

Without life.

We have been told about what happened to you. It's horrible. This are the things you see on tv, but never expect that they will every happen to someone you know.
It's just too terrible than it should happen.

But it did, and the result is you.

Will you stay like this?

Imagine that....never again see you laughing.

Never again talk with you about Digimon.

I don't want to give up hope that there is a way for you....that you are strong enough to fight through this.

If not for you, then do it for your parents.

For your sister.

And for us.

*

~ Jun ~

Therapy again. Every day they carry you away in this special room.

The room with colourful walls. Oh, it looks nice there. Many toys and such stuff. A place for children. Even a soccer ball is there. Perfect.

The only not perfect things is the doll who sits on a chair in the middle of this room.

You.

I have to come with you this time. The doctor says it's better this way.

She is talking to you. With a soft and nice voice.
A warm voice.

Definitely no Motomiya voice. Motomiya's never talk soft and warm. They cry, yell, scream, mumble....they are loud.
Maybe you missed that. I never did, I was lucky with my mad family.

She tells me that I shall to you, too.

I ask her about what, and she just says:

"About things he likes. Try to get his attention. You have wake him up."

About things he likes? Soccer?
What can I say about soccer?

My voice is cracking when I start talking. And I notice that it is the first time – the very first time – in my whole life that I talk serious with you.
I don't giggle, scream, yell or laugh.

Just talk.

Once started, I can't stop. I talk about how I miss you. How we all miss you.
I tell you that my marks get worse and worse in school because I don't pay attention to the teachers.
Tell you that Matt doesn't interest me anymore.
Tell you that our aunt from Europe came to visit you.
The tears are streaming down my cheeks, but I don't mind.

I just tell the things which are in my head for so long.

Maybe they will reach you, wherever you are. I hope so.

You don't give me the impression that you listen to me. But then I realise that I don't talk for you – I talk for me. I feel better when I tell the things which worry me.
Even if you can't answer.

*

Sometimes voices reach me here in my safe place.

I try not to listen to them. They want to bring me back.

But I have to go through the pain when I follow them.

I have forgotten the images.

Sometimes I see a picture – like a flashback. Pictures without pain. Pictures of people who laugh.

But they aren't worth enough to leave my place.

I experienced this once, I don't wanna a second time.

I know what fear is. And, I can tell you: it's horrible.

Fear destroys you.

It's like a big black shadow which darkens your soul.

But I tricked the fear. It can't reach me here!

I am safe!

*

"What do you mean, we can't take him home??", my mother yells frustrated.

"It is better for him when he stays in the hospital.", the doctor says.

I just sit between them and listen to the conversation. My parents want to take Davis home, because they think he will recover sooner when he is in a place he knows.

"But why?", my father asks softly.

"Because he is too fragile to let him out of the hospital. He needs continuing care.
When we make some improvements in therapy, we can talk about this. But not now."

My father buries his face in his hands. "And when...when will there be an improvement?"

The doctor shakes her head: "I'm sorry, but I don't know. It depends on your son. We can only help him, he has to do the main part on his own. We can just hope that he is strong enough!"

With these words she leaves our table in the cantina. I look down on my plat with something undefinable on it – which is supposed to be my diner.
I feel sick. Not only because of the food, but because of what the doctor said.
"I don't know..."
She doesn't know if her therapy will help? I mean, she is the doc, isn't she?
She should tell us things like "Don't be afraid, two more weeks and Davis will be the same like before."
I know that I am unfair. It isn't that easy. When we, the family, didn't manage to wake him up of his apathy, how shall a stranger be able to do this?

It's just wearing me down.

And I know that it will take a very long tome to bring back the old Davis.



To be continued....

Now I included Davis a little....I think I will make some improvements in the next parts.
I don't know when I will be able to write them.... we are moving soon to our new house, an we won't have internet for some time then :-(
So please don't hate me when the last parts take longer!

Thanks for reading!

Kaeera