Ch. 2: The Second Time

The second time I told Bella Swan I loved her, she cried. They weren't happy tears.

Bella has always hated her birthday and I've always taken it upon myself to make the time surrounding the day as least traumatic as possible. Unfortunately for both of us, Alice never understood Bella's refusal to participate in any events related to her birthday. The year B turned 15, Alice was especially relentless about celebrating, and Bella was especially morose about the impending date.

About a week before her birthday I was walking down the hallway at Forks High, on my way to meet Bella outside of her Geometry class, like always. As I turned the corner I saw Bella and Alice standing in front of their lockers. Bella's whole body was tense and her face was red with anger. Alice looked like she might cry.

"Every year we go through this, Alice! How long have you known me? Four years? And in that time, how many times have I asked you not to make a big deal of my birthday?" she hissed quietly, trying to avoid making a scene.

"But, Bella, turning 15 is important, I don't understand...", Alice's voice incredulous.

"It's my birthday and I choose to ignore it," Bella interrupted her harshly. "You will respect that, Alice. I don't want to have to have this discussion anymore. It's hard enough without the constant threat of surprise parties and birthday dinners."

By this point it was obvious that Bella was almost at the end of her rope. I wasn't sure what caused her reaction, but it was obvious that she needed to cool off. I swiftly walked towards her and put my arm around her shoulder, giving Alice a warning look, I asked Bella if she wanted to go for a walk. The anger left her body and she sagged against my shoulder, nodding her head in agreement.

We walked towards the woods behind the school, trying to make our escape unnoticed. I followed her for several minutes before she stopped and sat down, oblivious to the Autumn chilled ground. I sat in front of her with my legs crossed, so I could watch her face and try to read what she was thinking. She was resting, breathing deeply for a little while, neither of us talking. She hated losing control and she always needed time to recover afterwards.

There was a slight bite to the air, the leaves were already starting to change color. The only sounds were the occasional flock of geese overhead and the wind rustling through the dry leaves. It was very peaceful and seemed to help Bella regain her usual calm.

"B, what happened?", I asked gently.

"Alice just couldn't fucking leave it alone!" she spat out. "She kept trying to manipulate me into agreeing to something, anything, to celebrate my goddamn birthday. She's one of my closest friends, why can't she see how much this upsets me? I shouldn't have to explain my reasons." She sounded so worn down, not all the fierce girl I was used to.

I reached out to move her hair from her face, so I could see her eyes. When she finally met my gaze, her brown eyes were pools of sadness and it made me ache for her. "You're right, she can be completely overbearing when she wants something. But, B, she's always been like that, and usually you get her to back off without losing it. What's really going on?"

Bella sighed deeply, she closed her eyes for a moment and then reached for her backpack, rummaging around until she found what she wanted. She smoothed her hands over the surface of an envelope for several minutes, debating with herself. I knew what it was, and now her reaction made sense- her mother, Renee. I'd only ever seen her this upset over Renee one other time. I didn't think it was possible for me to hate the woman any more than I did, but I was wrong.

"I don't get it, Edward. Why does she do this to me every year? I don't want this, I want her. And if she won't give me that, then I want to just pretend that she's dead or something. But knowing that she's out there, alive and breathing somewhere, and can only be bothered to acknowledge that I exist once a year- it fucking kills me!

"Every year my birthday comes, and I hope that maybe this one time I'll be able to live without the reminder that she didn't want me. That maybe this year I'll be able to look at my birthday as something other than the day I ruined her life. And every year she sends me a useless fucking card with useless fucking sentiments and is too much of a coward to give me a way to contact her so I can tell her to go to hell."

"Bella, I can only imagine how much this hurts you, but she's the one missing out. You're a wonderful person, B. An amazing, loyal, kind friend and daughter. You didn't do anything wrong, you can't blame yourself for her choices. There are lots of people that love you; Alice, Emmett, Rose, Jasper, your dad, my parents, they all love you. B, I love you."

Tears ran over her cheeks, falling soundlessly off her chin. She looked so broken in that moment, so utterly small and defeated. I scooted closer to her so I could pull her to me and wrapped my arms around her waist, she hid her face in the crook of my neck. Usually she shied away from physical affection, but I was always grateful when she allowed me to comfort her.

"Do you know you are the only person who's ever said 'I love you' to me and meant it? Charlie is more stoic than a damned statue, and it would never occur to her to love a daughter she hasn't seen in years. Sure, Alice says it when she wants something and your mom is so sweet, but I can't help but think that she mostly pities me. But, you say it and I think maybe it's true."

"It is true, Bella. You're my best friend, I love you."

She whispered, "I know."

Pulling away from me, she handed me the envelope, stood abruptly and gathered her bag as she took a deep breath. "Ok, well, there it is," she gestured towards the paper in my lap. "I don't care what you do with it. Burn it, turn it into confetti for the horrid party Alice wants, give someone a nasty paper cut, I don't care. But, I have to go to Government now. I'll see you at lunch."

She walked quickly back towards the school, I watched her movement until she was lost among the trees. I knew better than to follow her, she was done talking about it.

I looked down at the envelope, addressed to her with no return address. The postmark was Phoenix, AZ. I lifted the flap and pulled out a birthday card, on the front was a very innocuous drawing of flowers and the words "Happy 15th Birthday, Sweetheart!". I opened it slowly, as if there might be a bomb inside, although from the looks of Bella, it had already exploded and ripped her heart to shreds.

Bella Baby,

Happy Birthday! I can't believe you're already 15! I'm sure you're becoming a beautiful young woman. I think of you every day and hope that you are well and happy.

Thinking of you,

Renee

I grew up in an amazing family. My parents, Carlisle and Esme, my Grandpa Aro and my Aunt Elizabeth all loved me very much and I knew it. We weren't perfect, my Dad worked too much and my mom had a tendency to pry and smother me, but I knew at the end of the day they were there for me no matter what. I didn't know just how lucky I was.

Bella and I had been friends for almost 3 years before it really noticed how different our families were. We were in the 2nd grade, and our class was having a party for our moms to celebrate Mother's Day. Everyone was excited to have their family there for the morning, some of the kids were bringing an Aunt or Grandmother, but everyone was bringing someone. We had spent the day prior straightening up the classroom and making special signs and favors for our guests. Bella helped, but she seemed grumpy all day.

That afternoon we were at my house playing in my room, when it occurred to me that I didn't know who she was bringing with her. "Hey, B? Who's coming with you tomorrow?"

"Umm, no one. Do you want to see my new Pokemon cards?"

"You already showed them to me yesterday, remember? And what do you mean, no one?"

Bella didn't answer. Her cheeks flushed pink and she sat twisting her fingers in her lap with her head bent. She looked embarrassed, but that didn't make sense. I was about to ask her why she didn't just ask her mom, when I realized I had no idea where her mom was.

"B, where's your mom?". She cringed when I said the word 'mom', and mumbled something I couldn't hear. This was not good, my best friend didn't mumble. She always spoke loud and clear.

"Bella?"

"I said, 'I don't know'", she snapped at me. "She left when I was a baby. She sends me a card for my birthday every year, but I've never met her."

"You hate your birthday, why would she send a card? Doesn't she know that you don't like it?" I asked innocently.

"Edward, why do you think I hate my birthday? She makes me hate it. I don't know why she would want to send me a card when she didn't even want me." Bella was angry and yelling, her whole face was red. I was completely dumbfounded, I had no idea how to react to her like this.

My mom came in the room, "Guys, what's all the shouting?". Then she noticed Bella, who was now sitting on my bed crying softly. "Edward, why don't you go down to the kitchen, I have your snack set out. I need to talk to Bella for a minute, and then I'll send her down." I gave my best friend a soft smile and walked out, but I didn't go downstairs. I didn't mean to defy my mom, but if Bella needed me, I wanted to be near by. So, I sat outside the door and waited.

"Edward Anthony, kitchen- now." Mom raised her voice from inside my room, leaving me no choice but to comply; without even looking at me, some how she knew I was still on the stairs.

I huffed and stomped down the stairs to the kitchen. My mom had left chocolate chip cookies and milk out for us, they were my favorites. I sat down to eat my snack and think. There had to be something I could do to make Bella feel better. It wasn't fair that I had a great mom, even when she used her 'Mom Voice' on me, and Bella didn't have one at all.

After a while Bella and my mom came into the kitchen, Bella looked like she had been crying more, and my mom's face was pink, her eyes shiny. Bella sat down next to me and looked at me shyly. "I'm sorry I yelled Edward. I wasn't mad at you."

"It's okay. I hope you're feeling better now."

She looked up at my mom and gave her a big grin, before turning to me, "Much!"

"B, I was thinking. Why don't we share my mom tomorrow. She can come with both of us. I mean you're my best friend and we share everything anyway, so it's already like she's your mom, too."

I was completely caught off guard when Bella threw her arms around my neck and hugged me tightly. "Thank you, Edward. You always know how to make me feel better." She sat back down and we finished our snack, happily talking about all the things we were going to do tomorrow in class when 'our' mom came to visit.

A/N: Did y'all see? I got my first review! It was probably a little disturbing to my children the squeeing that was coming from their mother. Who wants to help me screw up my kids some more by reviewing my story?

Even if you don't want to review (and I'm horrible at doing it, so I can't blame you) thank you, dear reader, for continuing on with me while I spin this little yarn. If this story were a dessert, it would probably be a key lime pie: a little sweet, a little tart, and little angsty because things can go all to hell so quickly. We've added our sugar, now we've added just a dash of angst (and not nearly all of what the recipe calls for). What say ye, we add some tart next time?

I own a hankering for some dessert, but not Twilight. Much love and gratitude to Nitareality who fixes my shit. ~Kimberly