Chapter Three
That's not right, I thought involuntarily, this should be the part where he figures out he can't read Bella's mind.
I stopped thinking as the look on Edwards face turned to sudden shock.
He's reading my mind, I thought. I felt suddenly and inexplicably afraid.
I had decided unconsciously that my thoughts would have been off limits. Obviously, this was my dream and I was meant to be making the rules.
You can't read my mind. You can't read my mind. I thought loudly and repeatedly for the rest of the lunch. When I couldn't chant any longer I thought of how normal my carrots looked. I did my best to not look back at Edward – I didn't want to tempt the nightmare of having my throat ripped out by a gorgeous vampire. Would that even be a nightmare? I couldn't decide.
"That's Edward and Emmett Cullen, and Rosalie and Jasper Hale. The one who left was Alice Cullen; they all live together with Dr. Cullen and his wife." Jessica said this under her breath. I wanted to tell her whispering didn't help – she may as well just yell everything out. Quickly realizing I was again thinking about things I shouldn't I instead just hoped that Edward was too distracted by Bella.
Bella looked back at the table again, curiosity and wonder was sparkling in her eyes and I tried not to think about the Twilight books at all.
"They are...very nice looking." She blushed brightly but Jessica looked flushed as well.
"Yes!" Jessica agreed with another giggle. "They're all together though — Emmett and Rosalie, and Jasper and Alice, I mean. And they live together." Her voice held all the shock and condemnation of the small town and Bella's eyes flashed protectively for a moment before turning back to curiosity.
"Which ones are the Cullens?" She asked. "They don't look related…"
"Oh, they're not. Dr. Cullen is really young, in his twenties or early thirties. They're all adopted. The Hales are brother and sister, twins — the blondes — and they're foster children."
"They look a little old for foster children."
"They are now, Jasper and Rosalie are both eighteen, but they've been with Mrs. Cullen since they were eight. She's their aunt or something like that."
"That's really kind of nice — for them to take care of all those kids like that, when they're so young and everything."
"I guess so," Jessica admitted reluctantly, and I felt almost as if my mind was split into two. There was the scene that I was seeing and the scene that had already seen before, filtered through Bella's vision and written by Stephanie Meyer. It was slightly different of course; the fact that I was there was a change from the original story line but almost everything else seemed to be the same.
"Have they always lived in Forks?" she asked, her eyes flicking to and from the table as if she wasn't able to keep her eyes off them for long.
"No," Jessica said in a voice that implied it should be obvious, even to a new arrival. "They just moved down two years ago from somewhere in Alaska." Bella's eyes softened slightly as she glanced back at the Cullens.
"What went on before with you and Edward?" I heard a soft voice whisper in my ear and I turned to Angela who was looking at me knowingly. I looked around but Bella and Jessica where still deep in their conversation.
"Nothing." I shrugged my best attempt at blasé. "I thought I recognized him from somewhere but I was mistaken."
"A-huh," Angela smiled coyly but I knew she wasn't convinced though I was sure she had no idea what was really going on. I didn't even know what was going on. I didn't look back over to the Cullen's table and when the bell went I pulled out my timetable ready to leave.
"What do you two have next?" asked Jessica.
"Biology," answered Bella.
"Government," I moaned.
"Well I have Biology too," answered Angela and she and Bella walked out towards their class.
"I have English," said Jessica and looked slightly apologetic for a moment before walking off to her class and leaving me alone in the cafeteria. I found my own way to Government where I met Eric who was helpful in telling me all about what I had missed that year after I confessed Government was my worst subject.
He looked hopeful when he offered me private tutoring lessons since he averaged an A grade. After Government I found my way to Biology where I sat next to Lauren again who whispered to me for the whole lesson about how much interest Bella had paid in the Cullens. I pretended to concentrate on cellular anatomy and not being amused by her foul mood.
I felt relief at the end of the school day but confusion started to set in about when this dream was going to end. If it was a nightmare about school it was well and truly over. Honestly, the day wasn't so bad. I ran into Bella on the way towards the car park. Her brow was furrowed in confusion and she looked disorientated when I said hello.
"Are you going to the office to return your paperwork?" she asked me, waving the pile of slips that were piled neatly in her hand.
"Yeah," I answered quickly, pulling the scrunched paper out of my pocket.
We walked quietly towards the office building but it wasn't an awkward silence. It was strange seeing her through a filter that wasn't her own.
"So the kids are really keen here," I started up a conversation. She pulled a face.
"I know," she replied, cringing at the thought.
"It must be a small town thing," I mused. Not having ever been in a small town.
"Definitely," she agreed.
"So why did you move to Forks?" I asked, for the sake of conversation. I already knew all about what brought her to Forks.
"Oh I came to move in with my dad," she said shakily.
"Where did you move from?" I asked
"Phoenix."
"I came from Houston," I offered her. We were probably the only two beings here from big cities.
"You must hate the rain," she told me.
"Not really," I admitted, looking up at the cloudy sky. It had stopped drizzling.
"I hate it," she looked back at the ground again. "Why did you move here?"
I paused for a second. That was a good question. "My mum got a job as a teacher," I decided. It was really the only thing I knew about myself.
"Really?" she looked around as if looking for someone. "Which one is she?"
"Oh. Not at this school." I answered. "She teaches down at La Push."
"Really?" asked Bella again, but more interested this time. "My dad knows someone who lives down there."
"What does your dad do?" I felt silly asking questions that I already knew the answer for but I felt compelled to keep things normal. Even though part of me wanted to wake up, another part of me wanted this dream to keep continuing. I didn't want to do anything to rock the boat.
"He's the police chief," she answered as she pushed open the door to the office. She stiffened suddenly. I looked over her shoulder at Edward standing at the counter of the desk talking furiously to the lady behind the counter. His back stiffened and he turned around slowly to look at us. He looked at Bella and then to me and his eyes were hate-filled. Bella shuddered.
"Never mind, then," he said hastily in a voice like velvet. "I can see that it's impossible. Thank you so much for your help."
And he turned on his heel without another look at either of us and walked through the door. I stood out of his way as he came through. For a brief second his eyes met mine, they were black as night. He's so thirsty, was all I could think and then I squealed inwardly as he stopped and turned to look at me.
His face was so contorted with pain and hate that I felt frozen to the spot. He then turned around abruptly and walked impossibly fast towards the car park. Bella and I stared for a moment at the spot where he had just been. I recovered my composure first.
"Gee. What's his problem?"
Bella shrugged, still not looking away from where he was once standing. "I don't know."
I approached the counter where the lady was looking us strangely. I handed her my slips.
"How did your first day go, girls?" she asked us maternally. "I was so hoping that you two would become friends."
We both smiled at her meekly. "Fine," answered Bella, though it sounded more like she was saying "horrible". I just smiled dumbly.
We walked back to the car park together in silence. Bella's face became more and more twisted in thought as she walked. Our cars were nearly the last in the park. Her old Chevy truck stood out across the park from my purple Beetle.
"This is me," I said to her as I reached the Beetle. She looked like she only vaguely knew where she was and she looked anxious to reach her truck.
"Ok. I'll see you tomorrow?" she asked hopefully and I paused for a moment. There probably won't be a tomorrow, I thought, but I answered. "Sure,"
It took me a while to get home. I had forgotten which turn off it was and then I forgot which house it was. I hadn't taken much notice of what the exterior looked like. I recognized the car parked on the street as my mum's and when I pushed the button on my remote the garage door buzzed open. The outside of the house was nice. It was a brick house with a tidy front lawn.
I parked the car in the garage and closed the door then went into the laundry. I didn't realize how busting I was to go to the toilet until I looked at the toilet and then suddenly I couldn't walk fast enough.
I threw the door open and quickly dropped my pants and sat on the toilet and then I froze. I knew what happened if you went to the toilet in your dream. My bladder screamed in protest at being so close to a toilet but I held on. Wake up, I thought angrily to myself. Wake up or you are going to wet the bed!
I closed my eyes but nothing happened to me. Nothing changed. My bladder suddenly burst and I moaned in distress and embarrassment. Could I possibly wash my sheets without my family noticing it? My face burned with humiliation as I flushed the toilet. I was still embarrassed when I entered the kitchen where my mum was sitting at the counter holding a cup of coffee. Her head was bowed and her dark hair hung over her face.
"Hi," I greeted her, automatically reaching for the fridge.
"Hey honey," she answered, not looking up from her coffee.
The inside of the fridge was bare, in accordance with having just moved in. Instead I pushed the boil button on the kettle and it hissed to life.
"Aren't you going to ask me?" mum asked, finally looking up from her coffee.
"What?" I asked.
She threw her arms in the air. "Oh I don't know. How about, 'how was your first day?'"
"Are you going to ask me?" I laughed while looking around for a mug.
"Top cupboard," she answered my thoughts and then continued. "Fine, I'll bite. How was your day?"
"Fine," I answered, pulling a box of tea bags out of one of the bags filled with food on the bench. "How was your day?"
"Great," she breathed excitedly, "The kids loved me."
I turned around and lent on the bench as I sipped my tea. I raised an eyebrow at her.
"They did!" she insisted, "They were rather funny kids – one of them had a smart mouth. But of course you can't let them know you find them funny. You have to show them whose boss."
I laughed. "They are kids not dogs, Mum."
I sucked my breath in as I realised that I had called her mum. I was just running on suspicion that she was my mum. She might not have been. But she didn't correct me or even pause at my reference. She just laughed lightly along with me.
"I wouldn't laugh if I was you. If you ever teach you will suddenly see the similarities between high school and puppy school."
I laughed as she made an impression of talking to a dog/student. My stomach grumbled audibly and she laughed again. "We don't have anything to make for dinner so what sort of take out do you want?"
"Does this place have Pizza?" I laughed, suddenly having a strong craving for pepperoni.
"Pizza sounds good. I was hoping to unpack the lounge room and kitchen some more tonight. Will you help me?" she asked and I groaned at her.
I didn't care if I was dreaming, I still hated un-packing. I told her so.
"You're dreaming if you think you can get out of it." She said in a voice that brokered no argument.
So we spent the next couple of hours unpacking the boxes. They were filled with lamps and trinkets and photos. The photos were what amazed me the most. Filled with pictures of memories I didn't remember or recognize. It was always just us two and there seemed to be a true relationship between us. A real love. I didn't understand. Was I really so desperate for motherly attention that I created a whole new life for myself with a mum who loved me? The dream was strange and never ending. It was happening in real time and was now longer than any sleep I'd had in recent years.
We ordered Pizza and ate it while we sat at the kitchen bench. Mum went into a detailed account of her day at school, describing everyone and everything she encountered. She then questioned me about my day and I spoke openly about everyone – meticulously leaving out the fact that the whole thing was actually out of a book I had already read.
When we finished we sat contently in silence for a moment until mum glanced at her watch.
"It's getting so late and I have lessons to plan for tomorrow!" she sighed. I glanced at her watch it was already ten o'clock. "I'm going to go and grab a shower and then get some marking done before bed. You should definitely shower."
She kissed my head and wrinkled her nose. "And wash your hair."
I stood hesitantly and looked at the stairs. I wasn't sure about what I was meant to do now. Was I going to wake up soon? I looked around the kitchen at the unpacked boxes and bags of food. It seemed comfortable to me, much in the same way my own kitchen was. I walked up the stairs, deciding that I may as well get into the shower – it might even wake me up. I cringed at the thought, knowing the mess that would be waiting for me in my bed. I felt dirty just thinking of me sleeping in my own mess for so long.
All my thoughts left my mind as I showered. I let the heat fill the room up with steam and relax my muscles. I looked wistfully down at my long legs knowing that my time with them must be drawing to a close.
I got out of the shower and put on my old sweat pants and t-shirt and, on finding nothing else I wanted to do, crawled into bed to wait to wake up. The bed was warm and I found myself snuggling deeper into the covers. My eyes suddenly felt heavy and I was shocked to realised that I felt exhausted. Wasn't sleep supposed to make you feel refreshed?
I moaned knowing that I would probably wake up feeling like I hadn't slept at all. That was always the case when I had eventful dreams.
My eyes began to slip shut despite my protests. I found myself hoping that I remembered this dream in the morning, or at least remembered the mum I created. She was soft yet so adorable and her love for my dream self was undeniable and unmistakable. My eyes closed suddenly as if they had sinkers attached to the bottom and then - as if I was only blinking rather than falling asleep – they opened again.