You have suffered enough

You have suffered enough
And warred with yourself
It's time that you won

-Glen Hansard & Marketa Irglova

Meredith didn't get off work until after 6 so decided that she would just head straight to Derek's trailer. She was so tired and didn't know if she'd be able to drive the entire journey but for Derek she'd sure as hell try. The kiss from the on-call room was still fresh in her mind. She would give anything to experience that moment with him again and preferably tonight. She needed him. In this moment and time she doesn't care about the trust issues or Rose or anything else that has happened between them. Right now she just needs him.

The past few months have being running through her mind a lot lately. She has been through so much and the only person that has always been there was Derek. Okay so maybe he was the cause of most of the heartache but he was still there. He was there when she freaked out in the supply closet, he was the first person that she told about Ellis' Alzheimer's, he was there when she needed to find a good home for Doc, he was there when her mother died, he saved her from dying, he showed her a life with love and now she wasn't ready to give that up. She decided in that moment, as she pulled on to Derek's land, that she would stop battling with herself and just go with it. She felt that it was now her time, her time to be loved like nobody else ever has.

As she came out of her thoughts and parked her bangered up jeep she saw the most beautiful sight in front of her. He had gone to such effort. He put fairy lights on the gazebo/porch of the trailer, had the table set up with candles and a single rose. Ironic choice of flower she thought! As she got out of the car, her breath hitched in her throat. He had scented candles surrounding the edge of the porch. They smelt like lavender. A tear came to her eyes. In this moment she has never felt so loved in all her life.

Just then Derek came out of the trailer with a two plates of dinner. When he saw her face he knew that she was gobsmacked and he was delighted. She had a look of awe on her face and her eyes glistened with tears. He put the plates on the table and made his way over to her.

"Hi, so do you like what I've done with the place?" he said with a laugh

"Um, yeah, it eh it looks…wow!"

She couldn't talk properly. She was surprised that she even got those words out.

"Come on lets eat"

They both sat down but Meredith couldn't take her eyes off her surroundings. She couldn't believe he had gone to so much effort. They began to eat and engaged in friendly chat. They both felt at ease and couldn't believe just how natural the evening had felt. Before they knew it, it was midnight.

"I…eh…I should go. It's late and I've an early start tomorrow. I had a really great time. Thank you Derek. It was amazing."

"I had a great evening too but it's too late for you to drive Mer, how about you stay here. You can have the bed and I'll stay on the couch."

Meredith really wanted to stay but didn't want it to be under the circumstances that she would be sleeping on her own. "Remember it's your time" she thought.

"I'd love to stay but only if you sleep beside me. That couch is not comfy and I'd hate for you to have to open someone's brain tomorrow with a creak in your neck."

Derek laughed and in his mind was doing somersaults at the thought that she wanted him to sleep with her.

"Okay but I call the left side"

"Oh no you don't" she called after him laughing.

They both jumped on to the bed and began wrestling each other. Derek didn't mind which side of the bed he slept on as long as it was with her but it did make for good fun. They stop wrestling when Derek had her pinned to the bed. He wanted to take things further but he really didn't want to cloud the task in hand. Well a little mist never harmed anyone. He leaned down and grazed his lips over hers. He was about to pull away when she deepened the kiss. It was full of passion and wanting. As they pulled away they both smiled and got ready for bed. When they were snug in the bed, Derek took Meredith in his arms.

"You know when were doing the S&M?" she said lifting her head up to look at him.

"Yeah, what about it?"

"Well Cristina couldn't understand how we could just be having sex and not a relationship. She kept telling me to give it up and just completely break it off and go our separate ways. It took me a while to realise why I couldn't do that."

"Why?"

Meredith was staring deep in to Derek's eyes. She knew that he needed to know something to keep the fire alive inside him.

"Because it was never about the sex for me, it was about the moment after because in that moment I had a glimpse of feeling completely safe and I didn't want to give that up."

Derek had no response to what she just said except a simple kiss. She then lay her head o his chest and they both drifted off to sleep-for the first time in months, they slept soundly.

Sorry i havent updated in ages, ive had the worst two weeks ever. have been so busy!! and im now back in uni-final year suck(im finished in 5weeks!!) anyway this update wasnt the best ive ever written but i just needed a bit of fluff!! plus Derek needs to know for sure that Meredith didnt really want to break up/have S&M!! Anyway-Review please & Enjoy!!