Tell Him the Truth

Meredith found Derek's letter in her mailbox the next day, and yes, she read it. She shed some tears and it made her feel guiltier then she thought it would.

Her mind was just moving. She had decided to talk to Derek the next day; she'd confront him and tell him the truth. She was rehearsing her lines in her head.

If you thought that I was perfect, Derek, you were wrong. I'm far from that. There's one thing that I've done to you that I regret.

Look i know its no excuse, but I'm only human, and young at that…. So I'm gonna make mistakes and I hope you understand .

I didn't see it coming, and I swear it wasn't on purpose. Derek, I promise, I didn't mean to hurt you.

Will you forgive me? You didn't deserve this. What I did wasn't even worth it.

"I'm going to tell him the truth." When I'm ready to. "The voice in my head says Tell him the truth, some how. I've got to tell him the truth. That's what I've got to do. I'm going to tell him the truth, but not now. I'm just going to wait a little bit, because I know he couldn't handle it."

The next day she moved closer to him, her lab coat flowing in the wind. "Derek," she called.

He turned around, surprised to hear her voice. "Meredith!"

She lifted the letter out of her coat pocket and showed it to him. "I got your letter, and I appreciate it---"

"Well, I'm glad—"

She held up a hand to silence him. I didn't see when I had tears rolling down my face. She turned her back.

The words were heavy on her tongue.And, just then Derek knew that something was wrong.

Meredith was about to break open, spill out everything, but something said, "Meredith wait, things are going great, what you gonna say?"

She turned back around and faced Derek, tears rolling down her face. "I love you…but I've messed up….The reason we broke up wasn't your fault…but mine."

His eyes grew wide. "What are you talking about?"

"I made a mistake, I slipped up. I didn't see it coming, it wasn't on purpose. Derek, I promise."

He reached out and grasped her with both of his arms. 'Meredith, tell me what's wrong." He looked into her eyes, searching for the truth, but what he found; looking back at him was…nothing. It was like Meredith wasn't there.

And that scared him.

"I feel less than nothing," she softly said, "lower than zero, and tired of fronting. Guess I've been waiting for the stars to align, but there's no perfect time. It's hard to build the truth on a lie."

"Meredith, you're scaring me…just tell me."

She looked away, silent tears falling. I'm crying, I'm crying! I'm so scared! Oh! The voice is telling me "tell him the truth."

"I've gotta tell you!" What do I do?

Silent tears continued to fall from Meredith's eyes and as she looked overDerek's shoulder, and passed him, she saw HIM…Alex!

He heart sunk within her chest. No.

Derek noticed that her glance was no longer focused on him, so he followed her gaze and saw him as well.

Then, it snapped in his head. He turned back to Meredith. His eyes were filled with confusion and understanding at the same time. "Meredith??"

She looked at him and she could tell that he was pleading with her to lie.