A Tale by the Sisters Hameron - Book 2
Chapter 3: Going Home
House scowled as he watched Wilson carry yet another bag out to the rented mini-van. As if going home to visit his parents, and having to bring along the world's biggest chatter box weren't bad enough, he couldn't even take his motorcycle. He wasn't sure exactly when or how it had happened, but very shortly after he had proclaimed in no uncertain terms that they would most definitely not be visiting Cape Wooster, Wilson and Cameron had begun planning the trip. It was at that moment, standing in his kitchen while his wife called his mother to accept their invitation, that House realized just how much things were going to change. His life was no longer solely his own.
And the minivan was turquoise.
House limped morosely outside to lean against the offensive vehicle while Wilson arranged the last of the baggage in the rear. He sneered. He knew the drive to Cape Wooster was an arduous trip. That wasn't heading his list of reasons not to go, but it certainly ranked in the top ten. However, the relative comfort offered by the van was completely outweighed by its severe lack of cool. House shook his head. It wouldn't matter if they'd rented Grave Digger, whatever vehicle was transporting him to see his father was only slightly more desirable than a funeral hack.
"What about my research?" House asked suddenly. He reasoned that Cameron wouldn't be willing to abandon his research and possibly delay the discovery of a cure for lupus just to meet her in-laws. "Some of my experiments are time sensitive. I'd hate to see all those patients' suffering prolonged because we were on vacation."
"Not to worry, sweetheart," Cameron replied instantly. "Dr. Cuddy was able to get us a few of the doctors who were working at Dewey Screwem. They were thrilled to get the chance to work for you."
House slumped against the minivan's turquoise hood, defeated. At that very moment, a pair of beige sedans pulled into the drive at CRIPPLED. Eight doors opened and just like clown cars at the circus, people poured forth. Cameron recognized one of the young doctors from Dewey Screwem. Thirteen was his name was. Or her name. Cameron had never really been sure and had been too polite to ask.
"Hi," one of the young doctors said. "You House?"
House nodded. The younger man waited a beat before continuing. "Okay, I'm Kutner." He waved behind him at the rest of the gang. "That's Thirteen, Henry, Taub, Amber and Cole."
"Why are you telling me this?" House asked.
Kutner looked confused, but was rescued by Wilson who ushered the group inside. Cameron made one or two last trips in and out before settling into the passenger seat. Wilson finally came out and climbed into one of the captain's chairs in the middle row.
Reluctantly, House climbed into the driver's seat, making sure to whack Wilson on the shins as he laid his cane on the floor behind him. He engaged the engine and let the van roll slowly down the drive. He paused at the end, gazing longingly at CRIPPLED in the rearview mirror, before pulling onto the road to being their journey.
oOoOo
Sixty-eight bottles of beer on the wall
Sixty-eight bottles of beer
You take one down, pass it around
Sixty-seven bottles of beer on the wall
"Wilson, if you make it to fifty, I'm pulling over and beating you to death with Allison's crutch," House said in low tone.
"Why not your cane?" Wilson asked.
"Her crutch is metal, it won't snap as easily," House explained.
"Are we there yet?" Wilson asked.
"No," House answered.
"It's going to be hours, Wilson," Cameron said in what she hoped was a calm voice. Truth be told, Wilson's singing was a bit annoying.
oOoOo
But he's got high hopes
He's got high hopes
He's got high apple pie in the sky hopes
"Wilson!" House shouted.
"Sorry," Wilson mumbled. He sighed. "Are we there yet?"
"No," Cameron said, less gently than the last time.
"Why don't you try getting some sleep?" House suggested through clenched teeth.
"You know I get motion sickness if I sleep in the car," Wilson protested.
"It'd be better than your singing," House grumbled.
"Greg," Cameron scolded.
oOoOo
It's a world of laughter, a world of tears
It's a world of hope, and a world of fear
"There are going to be tears if you can't stop that wailing," House threatened. Even Cameron gritted her teeth to bite back a harsh comment.
"Are we there yet?" Wilson asked again.
"No," Cameron clipped out.
"Well how much longer?"
"Ten minutes less than the last time you asked," she answered with a forced politeness that made House want to gag.
"Sorry," Wilson sighed.
oOoOo
Green acres is the place for me
Farm livin' is the life for me
"WILSON!" House and Cameron shouted.
"Sorry!" Wilson shouted back. "I'm just so darned bored."
"Well, find some way to entertain yourself," House growled.
"That doesn't involve singing," Cameron tacked on.
Wilson sat quietly for a few minutes. Cameron let her eyes close as she leaned back in the seat. House felt some of the tension begin to bleed from his shoulders.
And then the tapping commenced.
Tap
Tap, tap
Tap … tap, tap…tap, tap, tap
House gritted his teeth.
Cameron cringed.
The tapping stopped.
……
Tip, tip, tap
House hunched his shoulders and white-knuckled the steering wheel.
The tapping stopped.
……
Tap, tip-tap, tippity-tappity
"AAAHHH!!" House shouted. "For five minutes, could you not be yourself for five minutes?"
Wilson froze.
House and Cameron exchanged glances.
Tip-tap
"WILSON!"
"Are we there yet?"
"Yes, actually, we are," Cameron cried.
... by jellybean30