Ghosts
Present
There were so many things he hadn't known about her and he hadn't cared. The past wasn't as important to him as their future. It seemed that things, life or at least the life they were forced into kept getting in the way. It was the mystery that drew him in, he was honest enough to admit it. She just came up behind him so quiet… stole what he'd rightfully stolen first leaving him with a little piece of cloth. Now, if that wasn't the beginnings of love then what was? For all his smart answers and snarky remarks there was no denying he loved Nÿx. He always would in some way or another because she left a lasting mark on him. He'd spent too much time with her to simply erase the memories and he didn't want to. He didn't want to loose what he had left of her…
Alec didn't care what she'd done. He didn't care about Japan and her mission there. He didn't care about the one after or anything in between. He wanted Nÿx.
The tattoo on her hip, it was a brand, the mark of the man who bought her because he liked little girls and at the time it was the only way to get her in, get her close enough to complete her mission.
So they sold her.
Alec couldn't help the anger. She'd been a little girl! A little girl…
'We were all just kids.'
Still, she completed her mission and caused havoc getting to her extraction point. He realized then how good Manticore had trained them because no matter what they'd been forced to do each and every one of them always went back. It was as if they all asked to be tortured and Manticore obliged. Brainwashed… and all those who escaped- murdered by White because they were following protocol.
"Good old Manticore." The bitterness wasn't lost on the others. Everyone felt the same way to some extent.
Nÿx survived that. They took her back, ran the usual tests, made her jump through hoops so to speak and not long after they sunk her in the water tank. A little girl… Only she was special Ops; Black Ops and nothing to do with Manticore.
Still, they didn't break her, just kept her confined while that crazy brother of hers got to live in the real world. Assassinating anyone that crossed the director, another woman but unlike Madame X this bitch was ruthless. She let Nÿx see Khaza walking around breathing real air while she was confined to her tank. Khaza didn't even speak to her, ignored Nÿx…
'How could anyone ignore her?' he wondered seeing in his mind the girl he'd fallen for. He could still picture her… long inky waves pulled away from her face, those dark brown eyes flecked with green, the pouty lips… The soft feel of her skin or the warmth of her breath on his…
The night he'd gone looking for her at Crash was fresh in his mind. He hadn't forgotten what she was wearing, or lack of. Alec couldn't help but smile at the memory; she'd been so… sweet. He shook his head at the word; it wasn't exactly how he'd describe Nÿx even though there was a sweetness to her. An innocence that no one, not even the life she'd had, had been able to take from her. It was that quality which drew him to her in the first place because he didn't have it anymore. The world was just another place to get by in and he held no expectations, no hopes, no dreams- at least he'd tried not to have any. And maybe she'd kept that innocence because she couldn't remember any of the things she'd done to people.
"You don't have hope, dreams… then you can't be disappointed."
How many times had he said those words? To how many people? But Nÿx didn't buy it, she didn't believe the words; saw through them… through him…
The things he'd done… he was no one to judge Nÿx for what she did. It was the life they were forced to live and he'd accepted that not everything was his fault. Some things had been out of his control and knowing that, accepting it, made his life more bearable.
She taught him that.
"Nÿx…"
-X-
The heat gathered under the black robes she was made to wear, sweat beading on her skin to make her uncomfortable. The veil hid most of her face leaving only a gap wide enough for her eyes. The thin material didn't make it easier to breathe and she was beginning to feel the discomfort as the day grew hotter. The other women, wives of the target, had told her the night would bring a cooler wind and she would grow accustomed to it in time. It didn't matter because she wouldn't be there long enough to get used to the weather.
The first two weeks in the compound were no different than being on base. The men ignored her, walked past as if she didn't exist and as it was her place, Nÿx bowed her head to any male and kept quiet. Whatever they wanted, whatever they needed, it was her job to get it for them, or so the first wife had told her.
She fetched water, brought them food, cleaned bedrooms, learned to dance for them… all the while calculating ways of getting close enough to her target to take him out.
It was late in the afternoon, the sun had set and only the blood red streaks in the sky attested to the end of the day. Nÿx made her way across the courtyard, her sensitive ears picking up the pained cry through the cascading water fountain. Her feet stopped just on the other side of the cool water but the sound did not repeat, instead Nÿx picked up the soft sound of a girls tears.
Curious she set her clay jar on the lip of the fountain quietly walking around to the closed door. She could see the glow of a lamp inside, smell the sweat of bodies, the male musk but what kept her from going any closer was the panting breath and mewling cries.
Her mind whirled with plenty of scenarios that could explain what she heard, what she'd seen happen before… The door creaked open and though she could've hidden away somewhere Nÿx stayed put. She watched two burly guards in the black robes and red sash walk into the courtyard. The first stopped short upon seeing her and the second turned to his master.
Nÿx heard them, understood every word and did not move from her spot. The first told her to kneel, waved his hand peremptorily which she ignored. He spoke harshly, grabbed her arm and pulled her forward. She went, stumbling until she was in the doorway. Her eyes scanned the room; a medium sized space used for storage and stared at the young girl, the veil clinging to her wet face. She couldn't have been much older than ten, her small body thin even under the black robes.
He spoke to her, ordered her to kneel and still she did not obey. A heavy hand struck her across the face. The sting barely acknowledge though she purposely bumped into the doorframe. Rough hands grabbed her, dragged her forward until she was facing the younger brother.
A delicate hand reached up, the fingers curling into the black material. In one motion he yanked the veil from her head, long inky waves falling over her shoulders, getting in her eyes…
-X-
He was careful, closing the door quietly and crossing his living room on silent feet. Manticore had trained him well and though he never had trouble being silent when needed the circumstances were different this time. The woman in the bedroom would have no trouble picking up the slightest sound he made.
He reached the door, a hand on the knob as he listened.
"Baby, are you awake?" he called. The softest whimper reached his ear and Alec opened the door without hesitation.
It had been a week since Doc had sent her home. Their home, even if she didn't have anything of hers at his apartment. He was conscious of the fact the apartment felt lonely without her, that he no longer wanted to be alone.
Alec crossed the dark room in a blur.
"Nÿx…" he murmured sweeping strands of hair from her face gently. She squeezed her eyes shut, reached across to clutch at his jacket sleeve and whimpered.
Doc had said the headaches would eventually go away, that Nÿx would be ok. But Alec couldn't believe him. Not when Nÿx spent the entire day locked in their bedroom with the curtains firmly shut. He hadn't tried opening them again after the first attempt.
"Shh. I'm here." He assured slipping into the bed with her. He could barely make out the fleeting look of relief that crossed her features.
Nÿx turned her face searching for the soothing darkness, her head felt as though it would explode. It hadn't been so bad at first. Doc had kept her pretty drugged up because of the burns but those had healed too soon for Nÿx.
And then the memories-. Those girls…
Her dreams were no longer still pictures. No longer those obscure images, no longer consistent. There was nothing repetitive about the images flashing through her brain. There was always something different, something she'd missed on the first pass. She remembered everything and couldn't help thinking Alec had been right. She didn't want the memories; she didn't want to know any of it.
-X-
It was cold this time of year. The gardens in the grand home of Ishiro Corporate's Vice President were dead and barren. The cherry blossom trees had long since lost their blooms, the grass crunched dryly beneath the soft soled feet of the inhabitants and the flow of water from the gardens makeshift stream had slowed to a trickle by a thin sheet of ice that had formed overnight. Three men in black suits, the bulge of a weapon strapped to their sides evident only to the strict observer, herded their master's newest purchase between them. Neither spared her another glance aside from assuring themselves she would please their master.
She was silent, her eyes taking in every detail of her surroundings. The three at her side would be no trouble but they weren't the mission. The dark hazel eyes focused on the immediate job; reconnaissance. Every exit, escape route, possible aggressor were taken into account and filed for further study later.
Khaza had told her the world outside was different than what they were used to but he'd never said how big-huge it really was. He never told her how small she'd feel or that she'd have doubts as to the successful completion of her mission.
Had he had any?
"Sono tatsujin uxeito naimenteki." An approaching man in black stopped to their right. He bowed his head and without a word the three led her down another path and onto a wooden deck. She was made to take off her shoes before being allowed to follow the men inside.
The hall was long and past the second door the pale faded colors were replaced by a vibrant turquoise framed by silver borders. A single vase sat on a metal stand dead center of the wall furthest from her. One orchid was nestled in the clear cut crystal. White to contrast with the color scheme of the room.
"Wait here."
Nÿx stayed put while one of the men knocked on the door. It was a heavy ornate wooden door, with a silver handle. The dark cherry wood gleamed in the light from the chandelier over head. When it closed the voices were muffled but she could still make out what they said.
The target was there.
A minute later the door opened again and she was waved inside.
-X-
Nÿx shied away from the images in her head. She tried not to think about Chimera, of her training and the accident that had landed her in the tank. Watching Khaza get further and further away from the brother she remembered-.
It was all there, unlocked from its cell in her head and it was painful. It got so bad at first; Nÿx hadn't been able to distinguish memories from reality. The hospital had lost power. Again. Thankfully no one was hurt but Nÿx still worried it would happen again. She could kill Alec, anyone and it wouldn't take much, not really and she was a trained killer wasn't she?
Another 'dream', a memory so vivid she'd think it was really happening. She was dangerous…
Alec wouldn't leave her. He was stubborn and Nÿx couldn't do anything to make him see he'd be safer away from her. At least until she got control, until the head aches stopped. Until she could tell the difference between memories and reality.
"You should go." Nÿx said past gritted teeth. "Get away from me until this stops." She was sure everyone in Terminal City was concerned about the power loss and the possibility of it happening again while she was there.
"You're holding on pretty tight." Alec noted. She didn't miss the smirk in his voice and could picture him looking smug. "I'm not going anywhere." He said and tightened his arms around her as proof. "Stop trying to get rid of me."
It was just a whisper but Nÿx heard the concern and his doubt. The insecurity in his voice hurt because she'd caused it. The constant 'You need to leave' and flinching away from him whenever she remembered something else.
"I don't want to hurt you, Alec." It was the best apology she could think of and it was true. He was more than anything she'd ever expected to want or need.
-X-
Voices carried to her, muffled and indecipherable for anyone else. Slightly tilting her head Nÿx could hear every word and though it was all in Japanese she understood. She'd spent three weeks intensely studying. She learned the language, the customs, traditions, music… She studied their history and trained with their weapons for a month before being sent on the mission. It was nothing now to behave as though she were born into their culture.
She was a trained soldier…
-X-
Alec took the long way home and walked slow. He was trying to find the right words to tell her…
'What am I going to say?' he wondered because this was the opposite of them starting out somewhere else and living a 'normal' life.
'Hi sweetheart. Guess what? I'm Terminal City's new representative and my first job is going to be-.' Alec ran his hand through the mess of hair already pointing in different directions.
"She's not going to let me get that far." He muttered staring at the ground. The trouble was that he'd promised. They'd made the decision together and he wanted to go. He was tired of the pointless fight they were locked into and being confined behind Terminal City's gates wasn't freedom. It wasn't any better than being back at Manticore.
Leaving… it had seemed like their only option. He wasn't naïve enough to think that one meeting with the Senator was going to change their circumstances but he wouldn't know until he spoke to the ordinary.
Nÿx would understand that.
She'd see…
"She's gonna be pissed." Alec sighed throwing his head back only to find that he was in front of his building. "Shit."
'You're a trained soldier.' He reminded himself. The fact that Nÿx was also trained and could fry him was firmly and resolutely ignored. Still, it took Alec another fifteen minutes to get to his apartment.
-X-
"Saa kokontoko." he said peremptorily. She didn't hesitate to obey and approached him. She'd heard the others talking softly. They confessed to each other, purged themselves of what happened when they were alone with him. All the girls feared what would happen; they'd seen the oldest girl dragged away. She'd cried and begged but the men didn't care. Every time the suits came in for one of them the girls cowered, except for Nÿx.
She was a soldier; she had a mission to complete. Nothing mattered except the mission and she wasn't going to let anything get in her way.
He grabbed her wrist and pulled her into the water. It wasn't deep, only reaching to her thighs…
Alec walked into the apartment looking for Nÿx. He found her easily enough standing in the kitchen with her back to him. It had been two weeks since the headaches had finally let up enough she didn't flinch from the light. What worried him now was her quietness, she'd stare off into the distance… He knew she was remembering, trying to make sense of her thoughts and the things she did before. What the people at Chimera made her do.
"Nÿx?" he called softly from the living room. She didn't answer, didn't even turn around and Alec knew she was stuck somewhere in her head. Another memory- he frowned and walked around the partition to touch her shoulder. He hesitated but Nÿx hadn't electrocuted him since that first time.
"Nÿx."
She jerked, startled and her dark hazel eyes finally focused on her surroundings.
"Alec…" she whispered then cleared her throat and moved into his waiting arms. "I didn't hear you."
Alec sighed; he dropped his chin on her head and closed his eyes. He really didn't want to bring up his new position in Terminal City; he didn't even want to think about it.
"You were remembering…" he said instead and felt Nÿx begin to shake her head in denial.
"Yeah, nothing… it wasn't anything important." Nÿx murmured not sure as to why she was lying about the Japanese target. She refused to think his name.
'It doesn't change what you did.'
-X-
The lights were out, nothing worked and the bodyguards had no way of communicating with each other. Her clothes were wet but it didn't slow down the small figure scaling over the stone wall of the compound. She knew exactly where to go and made her way in the right direction keeping to the shadows. Her bare feet left small prints in the newly fallen snow and the cold that had been seeping into her body was slowly receding.
Nÿx stopped, her brow furrowed as a light tremor took her body. She clutched at the stone wall trying to regulate her breathing. Ignoring the shakes Nÿx forced herself to continue. A second tremor shook her as footsteps crunched on the light blanket of snow. She crouched low but there was nothing to hide behind.
"Ansan!"
"Choundai ushiro naka!"
Nÿx didn't move, instead huddled into her body as the trembling lessened. The guards approached and the first grabbed her arm roughly. He yanked her up and the second also grabbed her. Both men stiffened, their mouths open but they couldn't scream. After a moment Nÿx shook them off ignoring the bodies laid out in the snow…
-X-
They were sitting on the couch watching the idiot box more for Alec because Nÿx didn't care for it much. She was snuggled into his side, off in her head while Alec fidgeted unable to concentrate on the TV. Finally he cleared his throat and sat up startling Nÿx. He didn't comment on that, didn't ask her what she'd been remembering because she wouldn't say anything.
"Max offered me a job." Alec said though in reality she'd sort of just … ordered him into it.
"Job." Nÿx echoed sitting on the corner of the couch. "We're leaving Seattle."
"This… I -."
"You and me. We decided together, Alec." Nÿx glared. She wanted to leave; she wanted to get as far away from all of them. It wasn't fair to Krit, Zane and Syl after all they'd done for her but Nÿx couldn't stand to be around all the fighting, everything about Terminal City and its inhabitants reminded her of Chimera. The only family she'd had, the brother she'd looked up to- was dead. At least in memory because he'd made himself felt around Terminal City with the power outages.
"I know-."
"You said No." Nÿx cut in. Alec frowned because it hadn't been a question. That had sounded like an order and that was the one thing he wouldn't deal with. He wasn't taking orders again, not from anyone.
'You take them from Max…'
"No." Alec replied. His tone was firm and he could see the flash of emotions cross her features. Anger was the most evident though he knew she had to feel betrayed in a way. Hadn't it been his idea for them to leave? He'd been planning his escape for months and letting excuse after excuse delay it. Was this his latest excuse? Why did he want to stay in Terminal City?
Nÿx got up, her eyes hard. Without another word she went into the bedroom.
"Nÿx." Alec called sighing. "The Senator wants to talk. Max thinks we can form some sort of truce and it's not a bad plan-." He stopped in the door, staring at the bag open on their bed. Nÿx dumped an armful of clothes into it. Clothes he remembered picking up from her apartment…
"What are you doing?" he demanded entering their bedroom.
Nÿx glared at him but didn't say a word. As far as she was concerned there wasn't anything that needed to be said. He'd chosen to stay in Terminal City, to fight alongside Max and that was fine by her.
'Oh really?'
Nÿx couldn't help thinking of Krit as she reached for the rest of her shirts.
'This is how he felt. Because I don't want to join the fight.'
"Nÿx!" Alec grabbed her wrist, delaying the packing and her leaving because that's what she would do. She was going to leave.
'You could go with her. It's not too late to change your mind. Max can find someone else.'
He knew exactly what would change her mind. He could stop Nÿx from leaving; he could stop all of it-.
"Aah!" he pulled away from the shock, surprised and mad that she would do that. Nÿx closed her bag and draped the strap over her head.
"I thought I knew what you wanted." Nÿx said in a soft voice. "I thought we were on the same page."
"I did- I do! I want to go-."
"No. Now you want to take this job Max has for you." Nÿx glared. She couldn't help the pangs of jealousy that hit her but refused to give it a voice.
Of course Nÿx felt as though she came second to Max. The X-5 had pretty much rescued everyone at Terminal City. They followed her and Max took the burden on without complaint. Why would Nÿx be jealous of Max? They wanted different things; they were complete opposites…
Weren't they?
"I-." He hesitated because saying he wanted to make a difference, that he wanted to make a real contribution to everyone at Terminal City … He'd sound like a total girl.
"You're the one who wanted to leave Seattle. This was your idea and now you're not going." Nÿx shook her head. She didn't understand the change of plans and right then she didn't care. He wasn't going and she wasn't staying. Nÿx couldn't deal with everything at once; her memories were fresh, as if they'd just happened instead of years ago.
"Where are we going to go, Nÿx?" he asked. "I have a barcode on the back of my neck."
"We can laser it off, Alec-."
"For a couple of days and then what?" he demanded getting mad. "Anywhere we go I have to watch my back. Keep looking over my shoulder for White and his goons. Worry about some government program trying to use me as their guinea pig. I have the opportunity to change that-."
"No, you don't because they aren't going to change." Nÿx retorted. "The people outside of this fence don't care. White screwed you over. You and everyone here with that-." She bit her lip and closed her eyes trying to calm down. Yelling at him wasn't going to change his mind.
'That's what you want.'
Of course she did but she also wanted Alec to want to go, not force him.
"You can't blend in with them, Nÿx." Alec stated. "No bar code, yeah but your heat signature is still higher than an ordinary." He took her hand in his again a bit wary because of his mild electrocution. "I don't want anything to happen to you."
Nÿx knew what he meant. She'd seen the news clip of Biggs, knew what that did to Alec but she wasn't going to change her mind.
"I can't stay." Nÿx whispered taking a step away from him. "I can't…"
Alec didn't want to let go. He didn't want to be alone. He didn't want her to leave but she slipped her hand from his. Her fingers lightly grazing against his-.
"Nÿx-." He followed her into the living room.
"No." she said opening the door. "No, Alec. I won't."
"Nÿx-."
The door closed.
-X-