I'm probably going to get myself into trouble posting chapters like this. My original plan, if anyone was interested in the story, was to try and post each chapter atleast a week apart but it's sooooo hard not to put it up as soon as I finish.
I'll be honest with you, I'm not the most reliable writer...things always seem to pop up in my life and I get distracted...but I'm really getting into this story and I've got some plans.
Also...Yah...New chappy!! I redid this like 3 times...I kept trying to make it sound more cosmo like...it was hard. I tend to over analyze things though. Enjoy!!!
Cosmos P.O.V.
Wanda's mad at me, but not in the normal way she usually is. She hasn't even yelled at me since we left Timmy's house, though I kinda wish she would. I know I've done something wrong, but I don't know what it is-it must be very bad though, to make Wanda so upset.
When I poofed in she was hugging my nickel Philip. I knew they had never gotten along to well, so I figured I had missed something important. I was terrible with dates, but it wasn't her birthday or our anniversary or Valentines day, so that must have meant that she was just being emotional...which I hear is something girls do sometimes.
Then I remembered why I came in...Timmy was waiting on us, but then Wanda said she wasn't ready to go. She didn't need to put on makeup, she didn't need to use the bathroom, and she didn't want chocolate. I knew something wasn't right...Wanda never turns down chocolate. She looked angry then too so, I asked her what she wanted, but when she replied, I was sure it was some kind of mistake.
'A divorce'
I'm not very smart, but I know what that word means. My heart felt like it fell into my stomach...and after giving my ears a quick cleaning, I had hoped that the ear wax I removed had been clogging my brain.
She repeated herself again, and this time my heart jumped into my throat for a few seconds before sinking back down into my stomach, it felt weird, but like most things I didn't...and still don't understand...Why?
She said I stopped loving her...but that's impossible. There are many things I can't do...and I'm sure that if I made a list, that is, if I were any good at making lists...that would be at the top. I could never stop loving Wanda.
She didn't believe me though...she said I was lying...but I wasn't...I'm not. I Love her! I guess I should have told her then and there, but my brain and mouth don't always work together.
She then looked really tired and sad and I wanted to make her smile but something told me it was no time for jokes. At first that voice had sounded like Wanda, but then I recognized it...it must have been my common sense...cause I didn't hear it often.
I look over at Wanda who is beside me on Timmy's tux right now, I'm glad to have her so close to me, but her attention is on Timmy, he's saying something to Tootie but I'm not listening much. I can't concentrate on anything...which I guess is normal for me, but even Timmy's voice seems to fade with all the jumbled thoughts in my head. I didn't even know I had so many of those things inside me.
I wish I could stop thinking about what Wanda said, but I can't, the words play repeatedly in my head. 'I want a divorce' and every time I hear it... I feel kinda sick.
Why would Wanda say that?...She loved me, didn't she? I know I love her.
'If you really love me...you wouldn't hurt me so much'
Me?...Hurt Wanda? How? Had she really been crying because of me?
My hand had been shaking. If anyone else had caused Wanda pain, I wouldn't have hesitated to knock their heads off...or more likely get myself beaten up for just trying...but she said that I had hurt her. No.. I just couldn't believe it...I had never hurt Wanda...I had never once even thought about hurting her...and if for some reason I had tried, she could have easily taken me down. I tried to tell her, but I think it came out wrong, like it usually does, 'cause it seemed like she was about to cry again and I didn't know what to do.
My eyes were stinging...but I didn't cry...I think I was just too surprised or confused...probably both.
My chest hurt too...I wanted to know what I did wrong, but I was too afraid to ask, and before I could even hug her, something I wanted desperately to do at the time, we had to leave with Timmy. I didn't feel like going anywhere, but Wanda said that we should go and I knew better, at the time, not to argue with her.
She told me we'd talk about it when we got back home, but a part of me hopes that tonight lasts forever and I never have to hear her say that word again. 'Divorce'
I really wish I was having a dream, the ones where I'm still awake, but if this was a dream there'd be more corn and pudding...mostly corn...and Wanda would never ask for a...a...
I shake my head and look over at her.
She's lovely even as a flower, but then again she's always been beautiful.
'When was the last time I told her that?'
I frown even more...I had made a few jokes, I remember..kinda, about her appearance, but did I ever tell her after wards how beautiful she really was. She had to have known that though...right?
I decide to make a list, as hard as it was to make lists, about all the things I loved about Wanda. I hope she'll be impressed when I show her how much I thought about it, she was always so proud of me when I did something smartish.
Hmm...Wanda.
Actually, it was very easy to come up with things to put on that list. Wanda's smart, kind, patient, she always knows what to say, she always knows how to fix my mistakes, and she supports me in whatever I do. Wanda is perfect. How could she think that I would ever hurt her?
Gee...my brain hurts now. I don't ever remember thinking about something this long before. I don't think I like thinking...wait...was that thinking? I shake my head.
No...I couldn't...I wouldn't do anything to hurt her...Wanda must be wrong.
But...,
Wanda was never wrong.
I blink. She was the smart one, after all, so she would know if I had hurt her. I was the dumb one...and it was me who was always making mistakes. Think Cosmo...Think..
Wanda means everything to me...but when...when was the last time I told her? I try harder to think of it and I bite my tongue in concentration...trying not to yell at the pain it causes. Jokes? I frown...I had told some jokes...and yes she had gotten mad several, well.. many times, but she never said anything else about it. After all, they were just jokes...Timmy had laughed at a few...and Wanda was way to strong to let those kind of things bother her. Right?
'I'm not as strong as you might think Cosmo'
Fat. Ugly...boring...nag...dowdy. Then there was Wanda's face...she was frowning, glaring, sighing, and then ...crying.
My hearts racing now, I understand why she's so upset...how could I have not noticed it before? I had hurt Wanda with my words...and I had been doing it for some time now. I was always being called names when I was younger and so it never really bothered me anymore...but Wanda...she had been the only one to ever treat me nice...and she didn't deserve to be hurt...especially by me.
My face is stinging with unshed tears.
It's all my fault.
I made Wanda think she was ugly when she was so beautiful. I made her think she was a nag when she was just being concerned. I made her think...think that I didn't love her anymore...I stopped remembering to show her that I care.
I'm a horrible husband...there's no excuse...I won't even try to make one. I only hope that Wanda will forgive me. I don't deserve it...but I'm not sure what I'll do without her.
Please...please...don't leave me Wanda.
I'm not going to cry. I can't. Timmy would hear me, maybe even Tootie, and I'm not suppose to let them hear. I realize that's the first smart thing I've come up with in a long time...and that's just for me to keep quiet.
I glance up and Timmy seems nervous...I wonder briefly, what's going on but then I look at Wanda.
She's smiling slightly at Timmy and Tootie...and I find myself trying to mimic her content expression. I love when she smiles and I tell myself to add it to the list.
I nudge myself closer towards her, something that's hard to do in my current form, and she looks over at me annoyed.
"Cosmo...cut it out." She whispers towards me, before turning her attention back up at Timmy.
It was the first thing she's said to me since we left the house and it kinda hurt my feelings, but I didn't blame her. It was all my fault any way.
I sigh and look down. Before we left I thought that I could fix things...thought that maybe Wanda was just over reacting...but I know better now.
I'm taking big breathes so not to cry...I want to be calm like Wanda is right now.
I have so much to apologize for...
'Please please don't leave me Wanda...I'm so sorry'.
Yeah, it got pretty emotional there...I hope it wasn't OOC.
Anyhow...the next chapter will be from Timmys P.O.V again, no preview this time so you'll just have to be patient. After that the story will be written like any other story with no personal perspective since it would be to hard to continue switching out P.O.V's.
Please review...I've just decided to post chapters depending on my reviews. That's right...it's up to you. Try and hit the 20 mark and then you might hear from me again.
REVIEW!!