Love is the Music of Our Hearts
Chapter 3
Filius stood before his closet, contemplating his wardrobe choices for the evening. He was not normally vain about his appearance, but it seemed he could not focus on even the simplest decisions this evening. His mind was clearly preoccupied, and he knew why. After one last glance, Filius gave up, deciding to wear the robes he had worn for the seminar earlier that day. Celeste had not attended the lecture anyway, so what would it matter?
With a heavy sigh, Filius sank into his favorite armchair and let his mind wander where it would. He was not surprised in the least when his thoughts landed on Pomona. The look on her face as she said goodbye and then hurried away would take some time to erase from his thoughts, he knew. She had been biting her bottom lip. He wondered if she even knew she did that when she was upset. That luscious lip had been held firmly between her straight, white teeth the first time he saw her in her adult years, the first time he really saw her, the woman and not the student, at all.
Albus had sent Filius to collect the candidate "Ms. Sprout" from Hogsmeade Station for her interview that warm summer day. Filius had remembered teaching a Sprout, but Albus had said nothing and so he assumed he would not know the witch. He still remembered his first glance at her and doubted he would ever forget.
Pomona had come directly from a three year period studying in South America, and her robes, while appropriate for a Scottish summer, reflected it, making her easy to pick out. The turquoise material came to just below her knee as she sat on the bench, revealing shapely calves, slim ankles, and matching shoes on pretty little feet. The cut of her robe was conservative, but could not hide her curves as she bent over the papers in her lap. Thick waves of medium brown hair hung around her face, obscuring it from view, and Filius found himself wanting to know the woman behind that veil of silk.
He had been embarrassed to realize he was staring and quickly caught her attention with, "Ms. Sprout?"
She had looked up at him then, brown eyes anxious, cheeks flushed and pink, bottom lip caught between her teeth. A spark of recognition glinted in her beautiful eyes, and she smiled. "Professor Flitwick!"
Filius felt a now familiar uneasiness settle in the pit of his stomach as it had that day and each day since when he thought about his feelings for Pomona. It was not that he was ashamed of his feelings; he had learned long ago there was little use in that. It was just that he worried for her reaction, if and when he told her, and that of their friends and coworkers. He thought again of her face that morning and knew his earlier conclusion had been correct. Whatever his feelings for Pomona, it was becoming more and more obvious that she did not reciprocate them as he wished. He had known that was a likely possibility all along, but now it was reality, and he had to face the facts. He could leave, find another job teaching somewhere, perhaps America, and try not to think of her, or he could stay. He could remain at Hogwarts in the job he loved and watch as Pomona fell in love, married, perhaps had children, and lived happily, all with another wizard.
Filius shuddered at the thought. He had borne much torment in his lifetime, but even the thought of seeing Pomona in the arms of another man... He would talk to Albus in the morning about any openings and somehow explain his reasons without explaining the reason... somehow.
Still, that was a worry for tomorrow, and he had enough for this one day already. He thought ahead to his date with Celeste Sinistra and tried to remember why he had agreed to it. At the time it had seemed like a good idea. Filius had always made easy friends, and he made a special effort with new members of the Hogwarts staff. Celeste had taken the Astronomy position nearly three years before, and Filius, who had always found the subject interesting, had made his usual effort to make his newest colleague feel welcome. It had taken him nearly the entire school year to realize her flirtations were more than friendly. He had been unsure what to do with the knowledge and had decided to leave it be until the summer. But, then Celeste had gone away for the summer to take some classes on Eastern Astronomy, and by the time she returned, Pomona had arrived, and Filius' attentions, unbeknown to either witch, had been secured... until today.
Celeste Sinistra was a striking woman. Her sharp mind was perhaps her greatest attraction for Filius, but he was aware of her other attributes. He certainly had heard enough about them during Albus' gatherings for the Hogwarts men when Professors Slughorn and Dearborn went too far into their cups. Still, despite her beauty, Filius had never felt any real interest in the woman. They were friends, he supposed, but he never felt quite himself with her. There was always some question she wanted to debate or some opinion she wanted from him. He could not imagine sitting down with her and having a conversation about the Cannons chances or the House Cup standings, or even just sitting together watching the sunset. He was not convinced they could ever have a casual relationship, but tonight would be a test of that.
Just then his clock chimed and it was time for him to leave. With one last comb through his graying hair, Filius went out the door, still unsure what the evening would bring.
Celeste stood at the door in what seemed a practiced stance, to Filius at least. Her leg was bent just so to show off a slit in her dress robes. They were shimmery and looked very soft, though Filius hoped he had no reason to find out.
Suddenly he knew this was a very, very bad idea.
"Filius, come in." She was wearing heels, and her hair was up on top of her head in a style that put him in mind of a peacock, though he was sure that wasn't the intent. He was also sure she didn't mean to be over twice his height, but she was certainly giving him that impression.
He nodded in her direction as he entered the room, deliberately not looking all the way up into her eyes. "Celeste. Thank you for inviting me to dinner. So good of you remember my interest in your subject." And not in you, he mentally added.
It was the first time he had been in her personal rooms. There was not much to see, and he could barely make anything out in the dim light. Candles surrounded a table set for two in the center of the room.
This may have been the worst idea he had ever had.
"Please, be seated." She made her way to the table, and he waited until she was seated to sit across from her. She poured champagne into her glass, and leaning over enough that Filius could nearly see her navel if he wished, began to pour for him.
"Oh, none for me, thank you. Goes straight to my head. I'll stick with water, thanks," his voice nearly cracked as he rushed to stop her, and he deliberately lowered it to a normal range. "I want to stay awake to see the stars, after all!"
"Oh, yes." Celeste seemed troubled for a moment, but quickly returned to her sickeningly sweet smile. "Wouldn't want you to miss a moment of the evening I have planned for us." The last words came out in a purr that was hard to dismiss.
Filius felt as though the collar of his robes was eating into his neck. He thought of loosening it, but wondered what sort of impression that might give. Obviously, Celeste had already received the wrong message somehow. He had expected a game of chess or perhaps a discussion of the latest duel. This was more than he could have imagined.
Celeste stared at him a moment longer before sighing. With a wave of her wand, her robes were suddenly cut in her standard teaching style, the lights were lit, and her hair was in its usual bun.
"Well hell, at least I tried." She chugged back the bubbly drink in one shot and began to pour again. "Are you sure you want to stick with water? I have a full bar in the corner, and Dearborn keeps it stocked with soda water, grenadine, and cherries among other things if you'd like something else."
Filius could almost not believe the change in the woman. It was almost as if the last few moments had not happened at all. "Celeste, forgive me. I'm confused. Just what exactly is going on here?"
"Are you sure you don't want that drink?" Filius gave a decided no. "Well, I will indulge a bit more if you don't mind." She poured her third glass full to the brim, and Filius wondered if there was much more left in the bottle.
"When I came to Hogwarts, I had imagined it would be like my university days only better." She recognized his look of disbelief. "Oh, not the students and teaching, but the staff. I imagined evenings filled with intense discussion and debate. Albus Dumbledore is the greatest wizard of our lifetime, and I would be working under him! I thought of all that I could learn, and the ways my intellect would grow! I did not think I would have to memorize Honeyduke's entire catalog in order to get in to talk to the man!"
Filius snorted in his laughter. "Yes, that does come as a shock to those who don't know him personally. But what does that have to do with this?" He waved his hand around them to where candles, now unlit, still stood.
"Do you realize that you and Dearborn are the only staff members that really talk to me?" He started to contradict her, but she waved him off. "No, I mean intellectually, not just in passing. And Dearborn has been obsessed with Ms. 'Love-'em-and-leave-'em Quidditch all-star since he joined the staff!
"That leaves you. And I don't mean I am just attracted to your intellect, though for me that has always been the largest turn on."
Filius was sure he was the color of the Gryffindor flag at the moment. "Celeste, I don't know what to say."
"Oh leave it." She waved him off as she poured yet another glass of champagne. Her words were beginning to slur, and he worried he may have to call Poppy for alcohol poisoning if she kept it up. "I don't know what happened that summer I was away, but I took one look at you taking one look at her..." she nearly spat the word, and Filius did not have to guess to know to whom she was referring. She took a large sip. "Anyway, I should have given up then, but I thought if I could just get some time alone with you, I could convince you..."
She really looked at him then, and he could see how upset she was, even through what remained of her over the top make up job. "I'm sorry, Celeste. I don't know why these things work out this way, but they do sometimes. It probably doesn't help, but in case it should, I am equally as unhappy in my attachment."
"What?"
He nodded.
"I did think it was odd you were free tonight, but I thought you two were together, or at least had something going on. The way she looks at you sometimes, you'd think she was in the middle of the Sahara, and you were her only drop of water to quench her thirst."
Filius laughed. "That's quite the image, but you're mistaken."
Celeste looked at him, obviously unsure if she believed him, but then shrugged. "I know you well enough to know that if it were true, you wouldn't be here." She got up from the table leaving her glass, but grabbing the bottle. "Let's go up to the tower. Though, to be honest, Venus is in view nearly every night. I was so startled when you agreed to join me; it was the first thing that came to mind." She laughed and slapped him on the shoulder a little harder than he would have liked. With a wave of her wand, the door to her rooms opened to reveal the stairs to the tower.
He smiled. "Quite the accommodating castle, isn't she? My rooms are near enough to Ravenclaw Tower, but it's nice having a special entrance to the common rooms." He let her go up first, partly to be gentlemanly, but mostly so he had time for a Levitation spell should she stumble. Though, now that they were in the cool, fresh air, her drunkenness had somewhat abated.
"I really appreciate it on cold days. I can never seem to get my warming charms to hold well, so I sneak down for a cup of tea between lessons at times." She continued up the stairs as she talked, and Filius was beginning to wonder how many stairs there were.
He was slightly out of breath by the time they reached the top of the tower and decided it was time he started exercising more. It was a moment before he was able to really appreciate the view. The stars seemed brighter than he had ever seen them. This far up, away from the lights dotting the castle grounds, it seemed the sky was filled with stars.
"It's beautiful," he said, feeling it was an understatement, but not sure how else to put it.
"Isn't it?"
"You know, I may be able to help out with the warming charms, if you like." Filius was becoming more at ease with the change between them, though perhaps it was less a change for him and more an understanding. "Though, I suppose the cold air might help keep your students alert during class."
Celeste stood against the stone wall of the tower, leaning out into the open air. "I'd like to think the stimulating lecture is enough, but you probably have the right of it." Suddenly, she propped herself up on the edge of the low wall, swinging a leg over the side so that she was straddling it. "Come up here. You'll get an even better view." She took a deep drink from the bottle she had brought with them before offering it to Filius.
"If I'm going to sit on the edge of the tallest tower, I think I'd rather have all my wits about me." He Levitated himself up to sit next to her, careful to keep a hand on the pillar he was leaning against.
"Oh, that. I suppose I am used to it at this point. Haven't fallen yet! Touch wood." She laughed, and it struck Filius that this was the most enjoyable conversation he had ever had with the witch. It seemed that once she had given up the chase, such as it was, she had also given up the confrontation, at least for the night.
Though it was not how he would have preferred to spend his Valentine's Day evening, he was glad he had taken her up on her offer.
"Is that Pomona?" While Filius had been doing his best not to look down, Celeste had been peering across the grounds. "I think it is, but who is that with her?"
She had grabbed a small telescope and was looking through it at the pair Filius could just barely make out. After a brief hesitation on his part, he let go of the wall and took the telescope as she passed it, seeing in a moment that it was Pomona, and she was very nearly being carried by some brute of a man he had never seen before.
"Perhaps she's hurt?" Celeste said what he was thinking, and in an instant, he was excusing himself and on his way back down the many stairs of the tower to find Pomona.