TO U SUCK: (also, if anyone other than U Suck has a problem with this, good for you. I don't wanna hear it. I'm not trying to be racist or homophobic or whatever. I have gay and multi-racial friends too! And I really don't care if this makes me sound like a complete asshole. In fact, you should probably just skip over this section. Chapter's right underneath - that's what you're here for, right?)
Oh look who it is ;) and you fucked with both of us this time! Double the fun.
Well you were obviously dissapointed that your 2nd attempt at a flame didn't get any attention, so I guess we'll give you a break this time ;) Until you grow some balls and stop leaving anonymous reviews, all we have to say to you HAHAHA, nice fucking try. Obviously English is not your first language, but if you don't understand what you're reading than that's not our problem. LOL a disgrace to DSS? You really wanna go there? You're talking to the two of the most successful authors in this whole fandom. And I'm not being cocky, go count up our reviews. If you can count past 5, which I doubt.
Anyway, judging by your persistent reviews and the fact that you've onviously been reading my stories, you seem to be in love with me. Or else you're just extremely jealous... Sorry kiddo, not everyone can be me, and I just don't love you back :/ you'll find someone else :)
PS I'm not taking advice on grammar improvement from someone who calls themself "U Suck". "Since your last glance at my measly attempt at a fanfiction"? HAHA BULL SHIT. You would have had to read through a whole bunch of stuff to find my last note to you and you probably even have me on author alert seeing as you're so obsessed with me.
I don't care if you hate my story, but you have no business telling someone else they have bad grammar when you can't even string together a fucking sentence, you stupid tit! Go back to doing something you're good at, like shoving your head up your ass. Good luck trying to turn people against us - everyone hates YOU, buttfuck.
And don't ever call me baby.
From SB1 -
Hey there, 'U Suck', you haven't heard from me yet! But here I am. First of all, come on bro, 'U Suck'? Like you couldn't have been a little more original, you should have made a more intimidating name. Second of all, you know nothing twit, you really need to get your facts straight so that I could be even a LITTLE offended by your 'flame'. Mary Sues? You really think Ronnie- whose terrified of flying on an airplane and in the previous chapter had just DRUGGED her boyfriend using Xanax is a Mary Sue? I'm pretty sure a Mary Sue is a PERFECT character with NO flaws, I'm pretty sure those are flaws. Ronnie and Kade are based off of Roxy and I, and I know we're the farthest thing from perfect. So before I let you take up even more of my time that you don't deserve, because trust me the minute it's taking me to type this is more than enough, I just want to say that you are the biggest dumb fuck I have ever witnessed on this website. God damn, people like you are just retarded. K, have a nice life doll.
Take care ;)
Sincerely, from your idols
RXP & SB1
Everyone else, enjoy. Sorry it took so long.
Thanks to all our non-buttfugly reviewers - M Lina, Person who didn't leave a name, Lilbat54, StayBeautiful1 (xD) ThatCrazyGirl13, Wolfgal97, LOL, Other person who didn't leave a name, SUSHIxMonster, Evelina A, FerretGirlsz, Tanya Rayne, Alysha813.
You guys rock! And whatever haters(aka secret lovers?) we may have - I think they're safely outnumbered.
We don't own The Bellagio, Transformers (the last movie was HEARTBREAKING :( or anything else you may or may not recognize. Not the DSS boys, unfortunately. But Ronnie and Kade are ours, which you'll know unless you live under a rock.
We like this chapter, even though it took forever to come together... hope you do too :)
"Oooooh guyyys. The floors really are made of rhinestones! Look at the glitters, they're reflecting on my shoes and my nails and AHH! Vegas is just so Vegasy! Is this the Bellagio? It's gotta be the Bellagio. Look, those people won designer bags! They're picking them up off that spinny thing! And look over there! Those uniformy people must be the bouncers, and THERE'S THE GIFT SHOP! EEK, I love Vegas!"
"Kurda, we're still in the airport, not the Bellagio. We got off the plane 5 minutes ago, remember? It's not rhinestones, it's white marble. Those people did not win designer bags, they're picking them up off the baggage claim. The uniformy people are pilots, and the gift shop...okay, that's a gift shop." Kade drawled as she and Ronnie hurried the Vampire gang through Las Vegas International.
"Oh." Kurda replied sadly. "That explains why the uniform lady looked at me weird when I asked where the Go Fish table was... well we should go to the casino, like soooon. Do they let you play with your own cards? Cuz I brought my favourite Go Fishies from home, they're sparkly Nemo characters "
"This isn't preschool, Barbie. They don't have Go Fish in Vegas." Mika snorted.
"They do so!" Kurda shot back with vengeance. "It's right beside the Crabs table."
"Craps, Kurda. Craps. Like what you find in the toile-"
"Mika, shhhhh." Ronnie reprimanded, slapping her hand over his mouth.
"Waaaait...so there's no crabs?" Kurda whined, scanning the luggage trolley in search for his baby blue Prada bag.
"Oh, there's crabs all right." said Mika, freeing his mouth. "But I'm not talking hermit crabs like at that pet store you like, I'm talking the kind that are transmitted through the acts of-"
"ENOUGH!" Ronnie yelped, dealing Mika a blow with her purse. "Do you WANT to ruin this trip?"
"It was ruined before we left the Mountain..." Darren grumbled. "Only I didn't know that, because I THOUGHT I MADE IT CLEAR THAT YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO STAY HOME!"
Needless to say, the Xanax had worn off towards the end of the plane ride, shortly before Arrow distracted the pilot with a particularly succulent piece of lemon pie and took over control of the steering wheel and performed several loop-dee-loops. Prior, nobody had been aware that a passenger jet could be capable of such a feat, but Arrow was never one to back down from a challenge. Thankfully, the majority of the passengers had been wearing seatbelts, but a few were still determined to file lawsuits. Arrow brushed this off with a casual, "But dude, that was totally sick!"
When Darren dropped back onto the floor after being slammed against the ceiling, that was the moment he lost all effects of the Xanax that had kept him so delightfully delighted till then.
He tried to summon the energy to address the fact that his companion's recklessness had escalated to the flipping of aircraft, but he couldn't quite figure out how to word it properly, so demanded a large coffee instead and resolved to let nothing else slide for the rest of the trip.
They say the mark of a good parent is knowing how to pick your battles, after all.
"There's slot machines, in the airport!" Mika grinned.
"This is Vegas, there's slot machines everywhere. In gas stations, grocery stores, even in some
bathrooms." Ronnie informed him.
"I could really get used to this city."
By the time the Gang's extensive collection of luggage had been retrieved, Kurda had stopped clinging to his motion sickness bag, Darren's mind had returned to 110% capacity (however, his vision was slightly impaired and he was unable to focus so he kept tripping over various obstacles and walking into glass.) and Ronnie still refused to speak to Arrow, apparently his little stunt had turned her off planes for the rest of her life.
Mika, on the other hand, was quick to forget the plane ride. As far as he was concerned, any trip that didn't involve crashing on a deserted island was a successful one.
Harkat had snuck a copy of the airline's complimentary magazine UP, and was hiding it under his shirt before Darren pointed out that it was free. Harkat looked slightly bored after hearing this information, and began to keep an eye out for golf carts he could hotwire.
Paris walked with his iPad held aloft, tracking down every last tourist attraction in the vicinity - since it was Las Vegas, there was more information than the iPad could handle, and it promptly crashed, leaving Paris in a shaking, sweating wreck - until Larten experimentally popped the restart button.
Now was the time for the the consummation of the voyage - the selection of the Rental Vehicle.
20 feet away from the rental counter, Darren pulled the group into a huddle.
"Alright, men. I have a task for you that will separate the men from the boys. Someone tell me how many of us there are?"
"Counting makes my brain hurt. Why can't you count?" Arrow whined.
"Because I can't focus my eyes properly." Darren replied unabashedly.
"Loss of vision is not a regular side effect of Xanax..." Ronnie noted concernedly, putting her hand on his forehead.
"I thought the foul and foolish drugs had left your system, boy!" Larten shot accusingly.
"I can think, I just can't see!" Darren groaned. "Now how many are we?"
"OOH I HAVE AN APP FOR THIS!" Paris bellowed, hopping up and down and tapping frantically on the iPad.
"We have four Princes, one half-Vampire who is also a Prince, one Little Person, two girls, one quartermaster, one general, and one... me." Larten calculated.
"That doesn't tell me how many there are!" Darren whined.
"Hang on hang on hang on! iCount'Em version 7.1.5 is loading!" Paris yelped. "It will all become clear momentarily- oh, I have to register. IT WILL ONLY TAKE ONE EXTRA SECOND I SWEAR!"
"Nooo more numbers..." Kade groaned, smashing her face into Arrow's upper arm.
"10. THERE ARE 10 OF US, HAPPY NOW?" Ronnie shrieked. "I swear, I'm the only person in this room who's passed an Algebra class."
"Okaay. Now we're getting somewhere, time to pick our wheels!" said Darren with a relieved smile at Ronnie. "Hmmm...10. I guess we can rule out a Camaro..."
"We could get 10 Camaros?" Arrow suggested.
"Bumblebeeeeee!" Kade, Mika, Arrow, and Kurda whooped at once - they were dedicated Transformers fans. Actually, the first three were simply Mega-Truck-Fiends. Kurda just watched the movies because Megan Fox was his role model.
"We could rent a motorhome." Larten suggested. "Since Arra won't give me custody of ours after last the incidents of last summer, I rather miss RV-ing."
"Oh NOOO you don't!" Ronnie protested. "We are NOT hitting the Vegas strip in an RV."
"Let's make it simple and get a truck. 6 in the cab, 4 in the box. That's legal, right?" Arrow chipped in.
"No, dear." Kade sighed.
"What about those thingers that look like giant Twinkies?" Mika put forth. "I could jack up the suspension real quick, put on some stickers...it'd be a sweet ride."
"Twinkies...are...GOOD!" Harkat added enthusiastically.
"No, no, no, no no!" NO schoolbuses!" Ronnie groaned.
"But what other will hold such vast quantities of numbers?" Larten puzzled.
"I'LL LOOK IT UP! I HAVE AN APP FOR THIS!" Paris hollered, brandishing his iPad.
"We could get another 8-seater like the Ess. It'd just be a really cozy fit and 2 people would have to suck it up without seatbelts." Darren shrugged, putting his arm around the waist of 'Ronnie' - who was actually Kurda. He couldn't tell the blondes apart with his diminished eyesight.
"Oh my gods, Darren. I'm on your other side." Ronnie groaned after the snickering group watched Darren cuddle with Kurda for a few minutes.
"And NO WAY are we getting an 8-seater." Kade growled. "We've been cramped on a plane for a zillion hours, no more of that."
"We're kinda getting low on options then, unless we want to split off into multiple cars? But knowing us, that never ends well." Darren countered, still blushing after yanking his hand away from Kurda. "Let's just ask!"
Then he strode right up to the desk and demanded, "What do you have that seats 10? Comfortably AND legally."
However, he had not walked up to the vehicle rental desk, he was currently yammering to a man wearing a turban at the customer's service desk who had no idea what he was saying.
"VOLDEMORT WORKS AT THE CAR RENTAL THINGY?" Mika, Arrow, and Kurda screamed simultaneously.
"That is not the car rental service, Darren is utterly blind!" Larten sniffed. "The car rental desk is the one to his left. And in what universe does Voldemort wear a turban and have any sort of nose?"
"It's Professor Squirrel, duuuh." Kurda retorted. "You haven't read the first book, because you can't read, and you wouldn't watch the first movie with us because you were busy webcamming with Arra."
"Yeah, Squirrel. That's the one." Kade rolled her eyes.
Larten was saved from replying because Darren sprinted back to the group looking extremely embarrassed.
"Guys, you'll never believe this. That wasn't the car place."
"Oh you poor dear. Come with me." Ronnie sighed, taking the frazzled half-Vampire by the arm and leading him over to the actual car desk.
###
5 minutes later, they re-joined the gang. Ronnie looked extremely pleased, holding a set of keys - and Darren looked like someone had just told him the exact date of the end of the world.
"DID YOU GET ONE WHAT DID YOU GET?" Kade and Kurda demanded in synch.
"You'll see. Let's just say no one will be dissapointed." said Ronnie with a mysterious smile.
"I don't know about that, I can spot a few Vampires in this crowd who won't approach it without a fight." Darren groaned. "But guys, before you see it, I SWEAR it was the only thing that could seat everyone. There was NO other option. So don't hurt me?"
"Judgement reserved until further notice." Larten replied apprehensively.
"Maybe we should blindfold them till they're inside the...um, vehicle." Darren whimpered.
"No way! They'll fall in love as soon as they see it!" Ronnie boomed.
"Oh Ronn... I adore you, but based on experience, I just can't agree with that."
###
Once the spinning doors had been conquered (no injuries this time) the group collectively took their first breath of Vegas air.
"I can feel my lungs glittering!" Kurda gasped in delight, and continued to take deep breaths until he was overcome with hyperventilation.
"I can smell the money." Mika added greedily.
"I can smell the roaring drug trade and the out-of-control prostitute colonies." Seba grouched. "I would like to go home now."
"Oh gods, he watched the Secret Life of an American City: Vegas Edition documentary on the stupid plane TV." Arrow groaned.
"Ah, it smells just like home." Ronnie smirked. "Guys, whatever you do, do not take the cards from the people on the sides of the streets."
"Why, what's on them?" Kade asked, leaning in to her bestfriend's ear.
"Naked Women."
"Oh yeah, none of those for me."
"Where's our car?" Kade asked hopefully, looking around. "I don't see any 10-seaters-WOAH. LOOK AT THAT THING!"
She'd spotted a massive super-stretch Limo parked about 20 feet away amidst the rental cars. It was a Hummer. And it was blindingly, terrifyingly, enchantingly...pink.
Arrow also looked at the target of Kade's amazement. "Yeah, wow. Paris Hilton must be in town."
"I resent the very mention of that woman..." Paris grumbled. His comment went ignored.
"Duuude that might be Miley Cyrus's. I think she has one of those."
"No. It's gotta be Hugh Heffner's." Mika argued.
"I'd guess Justin Bieber's." Kade smirked. "Without a doubt."
"Actually, folks... it's ours. Say hello to our new wheels." said Ronnie casually.
Kade and Kurda immediately commenced in a session of screaming and jumping up and down, then they bolted towards the pink beast, accompanied by Ronnie who swung the keys like a mace. They stormed the interior - Kade popped her head out the door and shrieked "THERE'S A FRIDGE IN HERE!" and Harkat sprinted over to check it out.
Larten and Seba immediately backed up, shaking their heads fearfully and muttering prayers to the Vampire gods. Paris just looked up engine specs on his iPad.
"Facing...moral...dillemma..." Arrow groaned, clutching his forehead. "The colour repels me...but it's a Hummer...OH GODS WHAT DO I DO?"
"I feel your pain." Mika groaned, rubbing his head likewise. "It's 45 degrees out here... there's air conditioning and food in there...but so is Kurda. And the pink makes my eyeballs sting."
"You won't be able to see the colour from inside!" Ronnie reasoned, rolling down one of the windows.
"And the windows are tinted, to protect your fragile masculinity." Kade added.
"And there's a TV in here!" Kurda chirped.
"A TV..." Arrow groaned. "Jackass should be on right now..."
"Are ya with me bro?" Mika grunted, staring at the Limo through battle-hardened eyes. This would be the most difficult challenge yet.
"To the death." Arrow agreed, marching forward. They stepped up to the Limo, shielding their eyes. The doors opened, they dissapeared inside...
Then an agonized voice echoed across the pavement...
"OH MY GODS, THE INTERIOR IS PINK TOO! LET ME OUT!"
But there was no escape for Mika Ver Leth... only slow, painful death by demasculization. Worse than a dishonourable stake through the back.
"So, who's next?" Darren asked perkily. "Come on guys, the hotel will have vending machines!"
Paris and Larten begrudgingly got into the Limo, grumbling like an old married couple. Seba on the other hand, screeched; "THEY WILL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!" and took off at full-speed out of the parking lot and down the sidewalk.
"Start driving after him." Darren sighed, piling in beside Ronnie. "It's 45 degrees, he's not gonna last out here."
Harkat - wearing a hot pink chauffer's hat he'd found under the seat - saluted happily and scrambled into the driver's seat. Who else could be trusted to pilot such a vehicle?
Mika and Arrow piled in the farthest back seat, chugging from the colourful bottles they'd found in the fridge. Ronnie and Kade stood on the seats and popped up through the sunroof to give
Vegas a proper greeting. Kurda rolled down the window and tried to see where and if the streets were paved with rhinestones. Paris documented the ride with the Hi-Def video camera of his iPad, and Larten rode shotgun to keep an eye on Seba, who was on a rampage down the street screaming that he was being chased by demons.
It wasn't entirely untrue.
Yeah, again we apologize for how long this took... but as if we didn't have enough going on in our lives already. we're starting something...else. Something big. Something on which you'll get the details later. Or you'll get an alert in your inboxes, whatevs.
Don't forget, we both have facebook pages and twitters - links on profiles.
REVIEW :) -if you have an account. If you don't...blame it on my biggest fan because I have disabled anon. reviews to solve this issue - she/he/it can either talk to us logged-in or not at all. Soooorry for any inconveniece! But look on the bright side - once we find out who she/he/it is, all of our real fans can share the love and tell U Suck exactly how they feel about her ;) sounds fun, no?
Happy Summering :)
RXP&SB1