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Crap: Everything Owned By Whoever It's Owned By.
Metal Gear Solid and related material owned by Konami.
Megaman and related material owned by Capcom.
Lei owned by Steph.
Elysia owned by Crow, Darkness Nest Inc.
Anything else owned by whoever.
Mega Gear Cyri X
Tactical Bishounen Action
By Crow CHAPTER THREEBang Bang Money
The Colonel sat in a soft, cushy chair, sipping a hot cup of cocoa. He was inside the Base of Operations for Zero's mission; a log cabin a few miles away, with a warm fire and all the comforts of home. His beloved repli-dog Sparky sat at its master's feet, snoring gently. Lei was out, apparently looking for sticks she could beat people (and small animals) with. And Alia sat in the communications room, monitoring calls.
A soft beeping from his nearby vid-link to Zero's communicator alerted him to its presence. Sighing, Colonel set his mug down and tapped the Respond button. He leaned back in his chair just a little more.
"OHMYGODAHHHDOPPLERDIEDSOMEBODYANYBODYHELLOANYONETHEREHE'SNOTMOVINGDAMMITHELP!"
Zero's superior shook his head. "What was that, Zero?"
Deep breathing was his only response for a moment. "Huh…huh…. Ok… Doctor Doppler was here."
"'Was', Zero?" Colonel rubbed his chin.
"Yeah. Apparently he was helping fund and design some 'Mega Gear' project and stuff."
"Mega what?"
"Mega Gear. Walking ride armor thing equipped with lotsa things that make other things go boom. Goliath. Big. Need air." Zero took a few moments to breathe, and continued. "Gonna spread virus. Acid missiles. Very nasty."
The Colonel blinked. "Sounds like it. So, how's Doppler?"
"Dead."
A cough. "Excuse me?"
"Dead. Fell flat on his ass, stone cold. Looked like a heart attack. Oh well."
A furious Colonel slammed his fist on the table, causing his cup to almost tip over. "OH WELL? Zero, one of our best leads is dead! What the HELL happened there?"
Zero paused for a moment. "Well… I found him, he told me about this 'Mega Gear' thing, then he fell over and died. That's about it."
"It can't be…"
"What can't be?"
More coughing. "Nothing. Continue your mission, Zero. Make sure you figure out a way to stop this 'Mega Gear' thing. That's an order." Sparky yawned, his master's anger having awakened him. "My dog's hungry. Have fun. Colonel out."
Zero's communicator clicked off, leaving him alone in a cell. With a dead guy. This was NOT the way to start a good mission.
He went over his goals. Destroy Mega Gear. Stop terrorists. Retrieve cheese and milk from nearby convenience store. Only problem at the moment was, he didn't know where to go next.
His communicator beeped.
"Zero here."
"Zero! It's Alia! I have good news!"
"You're finally going to leave me alone, and let me get back to getting killed?"
"No! I've found something good! You know Douglas, right?"
"Mechanic, average build, freaky red shades, green armor? Sounds Irish?"
"Yep! He's there, too! Head down a floor, to the second basement; he might have some helpful info. Wanna save your game first?"
He slapped his forehead. "This isn't a game, Alia! Go away!"
Sniffling came back over the line. "You…you…you're mean! I hope wolves eat you!" Alia hung up, leaving Zero with his thoughts.
"You and me both." He looked around, and went to the door. It was locked, of course, so his only way out was through the sewers. They appeared to have filled, however; looked like someone somewhere had a bit of a "problem". The type that required about eighty flushes, and ten gallons of air freshener. So, until the waters (and other fun stuff) subsided, he was stranded. And the stench didn't help any.
Suddenly, there was an explosion in the halls outside. Zero heard the electrified door get blown in, and the surprised yelps of soldiers who were gunned down on the spot. For a moment, silence reigned, before heavy footsteps came his way. He gulped when they halted just outside his cell's door.
Wishing he had a weapon, and his armor, the hunter flattened himself against the cell's front wall, preparing to ambush the attacker. A few bursts from a machine gun on the reinforced titanium, and the door was kicked in by a large foot. Zero braced himself, knowing he didn't have the tools to stand up to whoever could do that.
The crimson hunter leapt around the corner, ready to fight to the bitter end. But what he saw terrified him beyond belief.
"ZERO-KUN!"
"IRIS!"
Iris herself stood in the doorway, though heavily modified. She now wore a black jumpsuit, with a red chestplate that had gold trim cupping her breasts. Around her hips she sported a standard crotch guard, which was likewise red with a gold "belt", from which hung two red thigh guards. On her lower legs, the standard over-sized leg modules were as red as the rest of her armor, with white knee guards that were capped with sharp points. Her feet were totally red, and built to resemble large, high-heeled shoes. Her forearms were encased in another pair of over-sized armor sheaths, red as well, while her hands were pure white. Ringing her right wrist were sixteen holes, all positioned equally far apart and surrounded by metal circles. On her left arm, a sapphire gemstone had been implanted into the back of the module. Both of her shoulders were orb-shaped, with multiple metal circles. Free from her shoddy beret, her long brown hair hung down to her waist, gathered by a loose red bow.
Zero was scared witless. Iris was why he'd agreed to this mission in the first place; to get away from her! Now, here she was, standing right in front of him and loaded for bear. And he'd killed her and her brother before… Not a good situation.
"Zero-kun, what's wrong? Aren't you happy to see me?" The girl blinked, tilting her head to the side and clasping her hands behind her.
He stumbled back, trying to get his thoughts straight. "Er…yeah! Hi… Iris! Heh… heh…" Oh yeah. He was doomed.
She walked forward, looking him over. "You look different… Hey! Hello Kitty!" The female reploid poked Zero's vest, which still sported the Hello Kitty logo. She giggled, and poked it again. "You're a Hello Kitty fan?"
Zero quickly shook his head. "No! This is just all I had to wear! Erm, look, I'm sorta busy, Iris, so-"
"S'ok! I'm here ta help!" She smiled, holding her hands behind her back again. "So, where're we goin'?"
The Hunter wanted to bash his head into a wall for a few hours. "This is a one man mission thing, Iris. You understand, right?"
The girl blinked. "But, Zero-"
And she was cut off by alarms that suddenly began blaring throughout the floor. Sniper Joes ran into the prison section by the dozen, quickly drawing a bead on the two reploids. The Joes in front knelt and set up their shields, letting the others behind them concentrate on shooting.
Zero was sure this was the end as he ducked behind the wall, when Iris just turned and held her arms out at their attackers. The gem on her left arm sparked and glowed, creating an energy field in front of her. And the circles on her right wrist extended a good foot, revealing that they were metal tubes on a rotating base. Her wrist spun at high speeds, the tubes spitting armor-piercing bullets at the robots.
Sniper Joes were cut down like lambs to a slaughter, their shields useless in the face of Iris' attack. Those that had the intelligence to run did so, while the others were turned into masses of scrap, oil bursting into flames as bullets lit off sparks. Soon, all that remained of the attack force were dead husks, metallic shells not built to withstand that type of abuse.
Iris smiled, her weapon and shield retracting. She planted her hands on her hips. "That was fun!"
Zero slowly poked his head out the doorway, blinking in surprise. Iris' weapons had torn through the seemingly invincible shields like they were paper, while her gem had blocked every shot. And she didn't even seem to need ammo!
"Er… Iris, how did you-"
She cut him off again. "We needa get going! Where to?"
The Hunter quickly got an idea. "I'm not sure, actually. Maybe we should split up, huh? Cover more ground and all. Tell ya what." He had to fight to keep from smirking. "I'll keep looking around in here, and you look around for anything useful outside, ok?"
Iris nodded vigorously, happy to help her idol. "Okay! Bye bye, Kitty!" She jogged off and ran into the open elevator, leaving Zero tugging at the logo on his vest.
"Urgh… Ugh! C'mon… Dammit, won't come off!" Zero gave up for the moment, deciding to just get the mission over with, and get out of there. He left the cell, stopping for a second to kick a dead soldier, and walked towards the elevator.
Suddenly, he heard a raspy, malevolent voice in his head.
"Good… good… He's very cunning… He'll be useful. Now, jus-damn!" The voice changed tones suddenly, trying to whisper. "Boss, I'm sorry. I hit the Out-Going button; he might've heard."
There was a silent beat as an unheard voice replied.
"Right. I understand. I'll do it."
Zero blinked, wondering what to make of all this. But at that moment, his world was turned upside down.
Everything was black. Voices from unseen people whispered to each other. Something about "a mistake" and "another way". The voices slowly faded, leaving the world a lifeless black void.
Then, a huge Hello Kitty head appeared, while twin Barney dolls sung on either side of it. A flashing red and blue background caused massive pain to anyone with eyes, and little winged hearts popped into existence everywhere. And the music got louder and louder…
Zero woke up screaming, finding himself on his ass by the elevator door. He hugged himself and shivered as the memories of what he'd seen haunted him. The pictures, the singing, the music, the…cuteness! The hunter almost vomited right there.
He slapped his communicator on. "This is Zero. What the Hell just happened?!"
Lei answered, contempt evident in her voice. "Apparently, you blacked out."
"Yeah, but I saw… Ugh! The horror…"
"Saw what?" She was relishing the delight his pain gave her.
"Kitty… Barney… Hearts… The singing, the singing, the singing…!"
"Sounds like you had a run in with Cyber Peacock."
"What? He's dead."
"This from a guy who's made a career move out of dying? He's a member of the terrorist actions. Deal with it."
"But how'd he…?"
Lei shook her head. This was like dealing with a small child. "He's a hacker, Zero. One of the best. You are an annoying little robot with bad hair and a computer chip for a brain."
"Hey!" Zero was VERY offended. "I LIKE my hair!"
"And so would most women. Anyway, leave me alone. You should be able to figure out simple things like that yourself."
"But-"
"Lei out." The line went dead.
Zero shook his head. "Great."
He trudged towards the elevator, rubbing his temples. Those images… Zero was lucky to still be sane. Actually, he was lucky to be alive, but you took what you could get.
The doors opened happily, with the air of "Come in, it's warm and cuddly in here". Our hero stepped through them, still a bit groggy.
The next thing he knew was that he was falling at high speeds towards a floor that was likely rather hard. A hard jolt and a sore nose later, Zero was picking himself up off the ground, muttering curses.
"What the Hell…?" He looked up, noticing that the elevator had stopped at the top floor. Meanwhile, someone had neglected to inform the elevator doors of this, and they still opened to empty shafts. Zero swore he felt many small eyes staring at him from the shadows, and he hurried to open the doors nearest him.
With a few hard tugs, the doors slid open. The reploid stepped out into the new floor, looking around. What he saw was a large, open room, with stacks of crates everywhere. It was hard to see as well, due to the dim lighting and the dust that filled the air. Cobwebs stretched between light fixtures, and every corner had its own nest of webs. The scent of old wood flooded the room, making Zero wish he hadn't been built with a nose.
He took a careful step forward, so as not to alert any sentries that might be stationed here. But as soon as his foot touched the ground, the floor around him lightened, spiders that had laid unseen in the gloom before hurrying away. He let out a breath he didn't even realize he'd been holding, and continued walking.
The floor seemed to be just one huge room, and that was just what it appeared to be; a rarely used storage center. There were no other ways in or out other than the elevator, and no sentries anywhere. But there were no signs of Douglas either, and Zero was getting tired of looking for a needle in a haystack. After making a few rounds of the room, he flopped against a crate and raised his hand to his communicator.
He was just about to call Alia for help, when whimpering from the very crate he was leaning on drew his attention. He tapped the wood, listening closely.
"Mmph! Mmmph!" There was no doubt about it; someone was in the crate. Zero stood up and grabbed a side of crate, yanking as hard as he could.
It tore off with a loud crack, causing him to lose his balance and land on his back, a heavy piece of wood crushing his chest. He pushed it off, and got to his feet to find out who was in the crate.
There, in the center of the box, bound and gagged, sat Douglas. He seemed to be trying to scream something at Zero, but the gag muffled his words too much to be understood. His savior strode forward, and tore the gag away.
Zero tossed the gag over his shoulder, and crossed his arms. "Yes?"
Douglas coughed and spit, taking a few deep breaths. "Huh…huh… Thanks, Zero… But, we need to talk later. This was a trap!"
"A trap?"
"Yes, a tra-" Douglas was suddenly cut off by the sound of the elevator arriving.
Zero spun towards the doors, completely surprised. He was hoping Douglas was wrong, and Iris had just come back. No, wait. He would prefer a trap over Iris anyday.
All he could see through the gloom, however, was the darkness of the elevator shaft. Apparently, whoever had just arrived didn't use the elevator either. The doors closed after a moment or two, with no one suddenly leaping out and shooting at him. But for some reason, Zero felt like he was being watched again...
He barely heard footsteps as someone stepped into sight across the room from him, and loaded a shotgun. The figure was shrouded by the shadows, and completely silent. The fact that no one was saying anything disturbed Zero a little.
"Urm...hi?" He was furiously trying to think up a way to beat someone with a shotgun, and he needed to buy all the time he could. "Who're you?"
The figure snapped its fingers, and the lights suddenly flared to full intensity.
"Gah!" Zero blinked, shielding his eyes. "Warn someone before you blind them!"
His opponent finished loading the shotgun. "I didn't feel like it."
"Oh for the love of..." The person's voice had been distinctly female. Zero finally opened his eyes, blinking. "Do you women EVER stop trying to kill me?"
The woman sighed, and glared at him. She wasn't human or reploid; instead, she was some sort of blue skinned creature, with sharply beautiful features, and almond-shaped jade eyes that could only be from a Japanese heritage. Long, straight, bright blonde hair hung down to her lower back, and formed a large widow's peak on her forehead. She wore a dark brown duster that covered whatever else she wore, and she held her shotgun in one hand, seemingly relaxed and unassuming. But the way her red-nailed finger tips rested lightly on the gun's trigger, and the fact that she seemed confident that he couldn't hurt her, Zero could tell she knew exactly what she was doing.
He sighed, and tried to fake a smile. "Er... Can I help you?"
She smirked, showing a fang. "No. I'd prefer to kill you myself."
The girl walked closer, lightly tapping her weapon. As she neared, Zero realized he had to fight off a smile. It's not every day a six foot tall Irregular Hunter like Zero was threatened by a living woman who was apparently only five foot six.
Of course, then she raised the shotgun and blew a box just beside his head into little pieces, and Zero quickly became frightened once more.
"My name is Elysia." The now-named woman flicked some hair over her shoulder. "I'm holding my personal, hand-made shotgun. You're a little robot who got too far out of his place. You're completely unarmed, and you're a large target." Her eyes flicked to Douglas. "If you want to place bets, I think you know the winner."
Elysia turned by to Zero, and blinked. "Erm... what exactly are you doing?"
The hunter was trying to pry something from the remains of the box. "Uh... Nothing! Really! What were you saying again?"
"You're an idiot." She raised her gun quicker than the eye could see, and fired at Zero's stomach.
Or at least, she fired where his stomach should've been. At the last second, he'd managed to rip the object from the box and spin to the side, dropping to one knee. Quickly raising his new toy, he aimed at the girl.
"I guess this is an ammo dump." He grinned, glancing at his shiny new gun. "So, put 'em up, babe."
Elysia just smirked and backflipped out of his range, easily landing on a stack of crates. "Shoot me, dickhead."
"Okay!" Zero pulled the trigger... and was rewarded with a pleasant "click" from the empty gun. "GAH!"
The girl grinned, and leapt out of sight behind some more boxes. "You're going to be FUN to kill... I just know it." Her footsteps had become very soft as she ran around the boxes, always out of sight. Zero could hear her smoothly reloading her shotgun, and cringed as she started shooting more boxes around him.
"Would you stop that?!" He cried, trying to dodge splintered wood. "Why not just shoot me?!"
She stopped for a second, reloading once again. "That'd be too easy, considering how slow you move. This is much more entertaining." Elysia fired at another box near Zero, causing it to topple from the pile and bash the poor hunter's head.
Zero yelped in pain, almost dropping the empty pistol he'd found. But his eye caught a small package as he regained his senses...
Grabbing the package, he rolled behind another stack of crates, just as his assailant started firing at the ground where he was. He tore the package open with his teeth, and grinned as he saw what it contained.
Elysia perched on a crate far across the room, pulling more ammo from inside her coat. She scanned the area, intent on finding her prey. But he wasn't in plain sight... The hunter was cunning. Or lucky. Either way, this just made the chase more enjoyable.
Suddenly, she felt a sharp pain in her right shoulder, and toppled backwards off her perch. She landed on one foot, and barely kept her balance.
Zero smirked, patting his newly-loaded gun. "Ya know, fighting in a place with free guns and ammo isn't a great idea, bitch." He quickly ran from his hiding spot, and behind another stack of wooden containers. "So, how's your shoulder feel? Hard ta shoot with a big ass hole in it, huh?"
He gulped as a shotgun blast turned the side of his crate to splinters.
Elysia smiled from her new perch, able to see him just fine. She tossed her shotgun straight up, and caught it easily with her right hand. "You're an even bigger idiot than I thought if you really think we'd keep live ammunition in easy reach. Those are rubber bullets; and they're not going to pierce MY skin."
He stood up, growling to himself. Fine, he'd just do what he could with them. And Zero ran out into plain sight, quickly drawing a bead on the girl...
...who flipped forward a few times, then landed on one foot, leapt straight over Zero's head, and came down behind him, shotgun pressed against the back of his head.
"Last requests? And I hate 'don't kill me'."
He sighed, raising his hands. "Beaten by a freakin' acrobat with a shotgun... No one's gonna believe this."
"Too damn bad. At least you'll have the holes in your head to prove it."
Suddenly, quite a few things happened almost simultaneously. For once, Zero had a little trouble thinking up a witty retort. At the same time, Douglas closed his eyes so he wouldn't see his friend die. Elysia slowly grinned, fangs gleaming, and started tightening her finger on the trigger.
And a wall was blown in, followed by a purple, masked reploid dashing into the room and firing his shoulder cannon wildly.
One blast destroyed a box above Douglas, causing a large amount of wood and ammunition to cover him. Another struck a crate next to Zero and Elysia, causing him to stumble forward, and her to lose her aim for a split second. A third blast took out the elevator doors, causing dozens of pairs of yellow eyes to scurry off into the darkness.
The fourth blast almost killed Elysia, but ended up only grazing her back. It did have the side effect of causing her hair and jacket to burst into flame, however, which led to her tripping in surprise. She landed on her right arm, which gave a sickening crunch, and rolled wildly. Her efforts were only halfway successful in snuffing out the fires, and in the end she was left with a burnt scalp and charred jacket. The girl took only a second to recognize that she was too badly injured to put up any fight. In an instant, Elysia had ran to the elevators, and was scrambling up the cables as fast as she could climb.
Zero ignored the fleeing woman, his attention centered on the newcomer. It was someone he'd never forget; only one person had a color scheme that horrible, and a shoulder cannon that strong.
"Vile! What the fuck are you doing here?"
Vile slowly turned to look at Zero, the light of the flames that dotted the room dancing off his gleaming armor. His gaze was hidden behind the shaded visor he always wore in his helmet, making it impossible to judge his mood. But he spoke to the hunter, in a slow, deep voice.
"... I will haunt you until the day you die, Hunter."
Zero slapped his forehead. "Vile, you're an idiot. You told X that, and he's not here! I'm Zero, remember? Hell, I've been dead. And shouldn't you be dead, too? Why is everyone alive again?"
The purple armored Maverick was silent for a moment. Then, he removed the visor for the first time in Zero's memory, although his helmet's size and shape still hid his face in shadow. All that could be seen was his mouth as he spoke.
"... Damn. I can't see shit through this thing." He seemed to stare long and hard at Zero, before placing the visor back on his helmet. "Correct. You are not X, hunter. But you are still an enemy, and I shall destroy you."
"Wait! Erm, hold on! Why're you even here?" Zero was, as usual, trying to buy time.
Vile took a moment or so to answer. "... I came here to retrieve a new Goliath. My sources tell me the stolen plans for my previous model had been stolen, and I want them and their offspring back." If anyone could've seen through his visor at that moment, they would've watched Vile grin. "No one gets between a man and his death machine."
Zero coughed. "Well... I'm here to stop a big Goliath knock off, so... Maybe we're on the same side?"
The Maverick shrugged. "The Goliath will be mine once more... I'll tolerate you, so long as you stay out of my way. Adieu, hunter." He started to leave, then turned. "And tell X he's a little pansy. Oh, and that I'll haunt him 'til the day he dies, yadda yadda, doom doom doom." With those words, Vile left.
Our hero finally stood, shaking dust and splinters from his hair. He tried to figure out what had just happened, but decided better of it, and went to check on Douglas instead.
Douglas was half buried under a pile of guns and bullets, his eyes slightly glazed over. Zero ran over, only to see his friend losing consciousness.
"Douglas! Hey! Wake up!" A slap brought the mechanic around.
"Ugh... Zero? It is you..."
"Yeah. What're you doing here?"
"They called me in... as... a consultant... for Mega Gear..." Douglas stopped a moment as dry heaves racked his body. "Damn artificial... lungs... Anyway... I helped them build it... But then the terrorists..."
"Yeah, the terrorists took over, and now they want lots of cash and Dr. Wily's body, or they'll release a really potent form of the Maverick virus. Where'd they get the virus, anyway?"
The green reploid shook his head. "I don't know... Sorry... I managed to call for some help, though."
Zero felt his heart leap a little. "Help? Really?"
"Yes... I called Iris..."
And Zero's heart exploded. "Iris. Really. Douglas, have I ever told you how much I love you?" His eyes twitched for a second.
"Well... no..."
"Good, because I feel like wringing your neck and tearing your limbs off with my bare hands right now." The hunter punched a box, muttering.
And his bad luck continued, as the box toppled over and slammed down on Douglas' head, smashing the top of his helmet. The mechanic saw bright, shiny, singing stars, before Zero shook his shoulders.
"Hey! Douglas! You ok?"
"Zero… Be more careful…"
"Sorry." Zero blinked as Douglas held out a small gun in a shaky hand.
"Use… this…" He dropped the gun, and the hunter caught it. "It's… only a lighter… but it might be useful…"
"A lighter? Does it LOOK like I smoke? Wait, don't answer that; I don't feel like having my breath insulted." He pocketed the lighter and the rubber bullets gun. "And no Tic-Tacs."
Douglas laughed a little. "Anything… else?"
"Yeah… I need to destroy this Mega Gear thing. Any ideas how?"
His friend nodded. "Yes… Sort of. Find the head engineer… he'll know what to do. He's probably… still in the… Development Labs… to the east. You'll need to take a… converted landspeeder… to get there." Douglas bowed his head, tired. "Sorry… I need to rest…"
Zero just shrugged. "Whatever. I'll be back for you later, I guess. Oh yeah. Erm, don't die, ok? Doppler already did that, and it was creepy." The hunter waved goodbye, and hurried to the elevator. But by then, Douglas was already offline for self-repairs.