The readings also stated that I am supposed to be taking some kind of journey in the near future. What type of Journey? A journey could mean many things. Did that mean that I would make it out alive? Or, did it mean that I was going to go through a realization journey that my life was going to be over and that I would no longer keep the ones I loved so much, safe? I hate this vagueness, which is why I always had a problem accepting readings. Why am I starting to accept them now? Maybe it was because so much of Rhonda's readings had come true, or made sense, and because of my brief encounter with Dimitri's Grandmother Yeva, the witch, when I visited his entire family in Baia.
Regardless of pondering about who killed whom, it didn't matter. I was prepared to accept my current fate; however, at the same time, I wasn't ready to die—not if it meant that I could no longer protect the ones I had sworn to protect in the first place. The only solutions I see are either I get executed or I find a way to escape -but how?
Days after the court date seem to just vanish with a blink of an eye. I knew that a major trial was evident and would be commencing in the next several weeks but that is all that I knew, life at the moment was just a waiting period. I got to get out of here.
I was completely lost within my own thoughts. Abe's words "They execute traitors," kept ruminating in my head over and over. I was starting to feel that everyone, except my friends of course, had already made up their minds and trying to sway the court was going to prove impossible.
My guards told me when they brought me back to my cell "what it is worth, many of us don't believe that you were the one who killed the queen, unfortunately we don't see how we could help you." Great, that's comforting, knowing that many feel that I am innocent but are afraid to stick up for me. I should have just been more careful and less reckless and protected my reputation.
I made so many mistakes in my life, but never thought I would be accused of murdering the queen let alone sentence to death. That concept just doesn't make any sense. I should have been more in control of my emotions and actions and less reactive. Threatening the queen that she would be sorry about her decision to lower the age of guardianship a few days before her actual murder was probably not such a good idea.