Stiles was warm but not hot, he could feel a cool breeze blow in through his window and the soft rustle of his curtains as they wafted lightly around. His limbs were heavy from sleep and Stiles knew he couldn't move them even if he wanted to. In some strange way, under his sleep induced haze, Stiles realized he was happy. He tried opening his eyes but couldn't muster up enough force of will, so he kept them closed. He could distantly hear the loud hum of his computer and the sounds of morning traffic outside his window. He rubbed his face against the smooth flesh beneath him and sighed. He thought about getting up but then there was a hand sliding up his back all the way to his head, it began rubbing small circles over his head, Stiles could even hear the sound of the lightly callused hand move over his short cropped hair, and soon, with that delicate touch, Stiles fell asleep.
"Stiles," broke a voice into his sleeping mind and pushed him back into the waking world.
"What,"
"I'm going to work now," Stiles knew that voice…his dad, Stiles sighed. He just grumbled back his reply and heard his father's deep laugh through his door. "Well it's ten o'clock now…"
"Shit!" Said Stiles as he tried to pull himself out of bed, he was absurdly late for school.
"It's okay, it's Saturday, no school." The Sheriff laughed when he heard his son's angry groan. Stiles closed his eyes and pulled the sheets back over his body and wondered why his dad had decided to be cruel to him so early in the morning…early for him anyways. He sighed and tried to ignore the birds chirping outside his window, and the still on hum of his computer, and the quite grunts coming from beside his bed.
'Jackson!' Was the thing that finally shocked him awake, Stiles opened his eyes and took in his room in the yellow glow of the late morning. He heard that soft grunt again and looked over the edge of his bed, there on the floor was Jackson, he was doing push-ups, a lot of them. Stiles sighed and waited, he watched as the boy rose from the ground and then lowered himself down until his chest brushed the carpet beneath. Stiles counted to one hundred before he coughed, his own arms burned just from watching the other boy.
Jackson leaped of the floor and shook his arms, he wasn't wearing any clothes—they were rolled up with the sheets on the bed and Jackson hadn't been able to disentangle them—Stiles didn't turn away from the naked flesh in front of him, but his face did burn red, he couldn't deny that Jackson was…well…mouthwatering hot. Hot. He was covered in sweat and his long hair was pasted to his head, Stiles absorbed the view, every muscle and curve, as it glistened in the morning light. Jackson noticed him looking and then shyly covered himself with both his hands, but realized how stupid that was, they'd already had sex after all, and so he just stood there blushing. Stiles swallowed the saliva that filled his mouth before saying, "Good morning."
Jackson smiled and fell on the bed on top of Stiles, he left a trail of kisses from the boy's stomach up to his lips, and kissed the boy deep and long. Stiles slid his hands up Jackson's sweat soaked back and buried them in the wolf's hair. They made out, it was a simple meeting of lips and tongue, they were content with sharing this simple intimate moment.
Jackson loved catching Stiles' bottom lip between his teeth, he loved licking the pain away and the quite inhale of breaths he could hear coming from his mate. Stiles liked pushing Jackson down, he liked that the wolf let him dominate, he liked it when Jackson would growl low and deep and the way the vibrations travelled his body, but most of all Stiles liked the sense of peace and safety that Jackson seemed to carry with him.
They showered together and Jackson pressed Stiles hard against the cold tile wall and kissed his breath away, sunk his hand down the boy's body until he gripped the boys thickening flesh and jerked him off until he was hard and twitching. Jackson fell to his knees and worshipped the boy, took Stiles' dick deep into his throat and swallowed, and Stiles moaned and writhed and panted hard in the hot steam of the shower before he came into the wolfs mouth, and distantly in his mind Stiles wished he could do the same to Jackson...later.
Jackson rubbed a bar of soap over the boy's body; Stiles came down from his orgasm with the feel of Jackson's slippery hands sliding down his chest, over his abs, until they finally gripped his still sensitive dick and left it squeaky clean. Jackson soaped up his back and the crack of his ass before lining his dick up with the two firm rounds and thrusting. Jackson slid his dick up and down that smooth crevice, soap slicked, and came with a barely audible groan not much later.
They finished showering, for real, and came out smelling like lavender soap and Head and Shoulders. "Hey Stiles, do you have some underwear I can borrow…and a shirt," asked Jackson as he dried off. Stiles left the bathroom and returned with a pair of boxer briefs with small skulls printed throughout it and a shirt with first generation Pokémon printed across it. Jackson's clothes were covered in too many bodily fluids to wear, only his pants survived what Stiles would later come to call 'the ravaging'. Jackson happily pulled the clothes on and never planned on returning them.
"So," started Jackson as he dressed, "what are we doing today?" He smiled wide, but his eyes gave away the hurt he expected, Stiles smiled back.
"Well I still have homework I need to finish…I guess you could always stay and wait till I finish then we could do whatever." Stiles didn't think Jackson would want to stay, Jackson did.
While Stiles finished writing a paper while Jackson busied himself cleaning the room. He took the sheets off the bed and dumped them in the washing machine in the basement with his own dirty clothes before pouring in a liberal stream of detergent and turning the machine on.
Stiles typed away while Jackson opened his closet, all his drawers, and then took every piece of clothes he had, even the ones in his dirty clothes hamper, and threw it all into the center of the room until they formed a giant mound, Jackson then jumped right in on top of it. Stiles' typing slowed as he watched Jackson roll around in his clothes, the wolf grabbed giant piles of them and threw them on top of himself before rolling around and around. Jackson rubbed his face against the clothes that were near his head, really he rubbed himself against all the clothes. The wolf kept doing this until all of Stiles' clothes were a jumbled mess and Jackson was buried thoroughly beneath it.
"Having fun?" Asked Stiles and watched as Jackson's head popped out over a mound of clothes and shook up and down like a small child. And Jackson wasn't kidding, he loved rolling around in Stiles clothes, he loved that it smelled like his mate, and the way it calmed his wolf and made it feel safe and loved, Jackson liked the idea that soon Stiles would smell like him and everyone would know it…or at least all the other wolfs would. Stiles kept typing with a grin on his face, Jackson was a weirdo…but at least he was a cute one.
Stiles finished his paper in three hours, he couldn't believe it considering it usually took him a whole week to finish some of his homework, he usually couldn't focus enough, but Jackson was waiting for him and Stiles had wanted to finish quickly. 'Speaking of which', Stiles turned and looked at the nest Jackson had made himself. Stiles got off his chair and began digging through the pile until he found Jackson, he was fast asleep and snoring lightly. Stiles shook the wolf slowly and watched him ease out of sleep, it was kind of sad seeing Jackson slack and peaceful face, so beautiful and innocent, and the frown that instantly appeared as the wolf tried to wake, Jackson blinked a few times before smiling up at Stiles.
Jackson really did look happy once he was awake though, he seemed alive in a way he hadn't in a long long time. Jackson suddenly pulled Stiles into the pile and kissed him shyly before getting bolder—more liberal use of tongue and teeth—Stiles didn't mind. They rolled around for a while until both of them were buried beneath clothes. As Stiles lay in the pile on top of Jackson, head pillowed on the wolf's chest, he realized that the pile was more comfortable than he thought, and maybe, he could probably fall asleep, but first…
"Jackson, I think it's time we talked, for real."
Jackson sighed where he lay but didn't disagree, "Okay, what do you want to talk about?"
"If we're going to make this work…then I want to know you better."
"You're not…you want to be with me?"
Stiles couldn't help his huff of laughter; sometimes Jackson's insecurities had a way of making him sound so childlike, innocent. "Dude, we've had sex like, a lot, so whatever I might say or feel there's already something between us and I kind of want to see where it goes and maybe I've already invested more in this budding relationship than I should have and I know there's a lot of history between us and I know we both have a shit ton of baggage but I think I've been in love with you for a while and I hadn't even realized it or at least I am now but it's kind of confusing and hard and, and—" Jackson shut Stiles up with another kiss and waited for the boy to catch his breath, the wolf basked in the knowledge that Stiles loved him, he said he fucking loved him and Jackson was so happy, he never knew he could feel so much from just hearing a few words. His wolf wanted to howl, Jackson wanted to howl, and so he did, he lifted his head and announced his joy. Stiles watched him with wide eyes and Jackson just started laughing, he flipped Stiles over onto his back and kissed him over and over. Stiles couldn't help but smile, Jackson's cheer was infectious.
Later, they lay naked in the pile of what had once been Stiles' clean clothes but now weren't. Jackson was knotted inside Stiles and was currently rubbing his face across the back of Stiles' head. It sent tingles through the boy's body and made him want to laugh. As they lay there Jackson talked.
"I was playing one day…in my dad's office. I was pretending to be a pirate, a policeman, then a lawyer even though I didn't really know what a lawyer did. I was six, and I remember my mom was at a friend's house helping her plan a wedding and my dad was driving home from LA. The nanny at the time was downstairs cooking dinner. I opened all of my dad's drawers and pulled all the papers out and pretended to talk to some imaginary judge about some imaginary case. Back then I didn't really have friends, I mean Danny was around but he," Jackson smiled fondly, "well he didn't really like hanging out with me back then…I guess he only does it now out of pity…I always played with by myself until Danny's best friend moved away…Anyways, for some reason I started digging through a filing cabinet that was in the room. I remember that thing always scared me, I always thought it would fall on me on day and I would die, and no one would find me," Jackson shook his head to dislodge that childhood fear, "I found it then, it was in an unmarked file…they were my adoption papers. I couldn't really read back then but I could recognize my own name and I…I remember that's where my parents found me...the look on their faces..." Jackson didn't speak for a while, Stiles held his breath.
"They told me that sometimes parents couldn't take care of their kids, for a lot of reasons, and so…they gave them away…their kids…just like that. I could never really believe that parents could do that—and it was hard thinking that I wasn't there's, that's what they said, that they weren't my parents and I had no idea what that meant…and growing up I thought it was normal…for parents to just give their kids away. I always thought—and I tried so hard to be a good kid, to be the best. My parents always thought I was trying to impress my birth parents but I don't know them, they couldn't see that I was desperately trying to impress them. They could never see that I tried so hard to make them proud, to make them feel like they chose the right child and I constantly feared that they'd realized their mistake and…give me away, because that's what parent did." Jackson swallowed the saliva that pooled in his mouth and tried to steel his fraying nerves.
The wolf let out a shaky breathe onto the back of Stiles' neck and continued, "As I grew up I realized that that wasn't how it worked…but you know…the damage was done," Jackson moved his hand as if to say it was normal, "Then Lydia came around and she was so good at making me do what she wanted." Jackson laughed then, cold and humorlessly, "I never realized until now how much I changed myself, just so she would like me, so she would look at me, so I could make her happy, and I did…for a while. After the kanima thing, she was gone, and I was alone, and I had no idea who I was anymore, I don't know if you know what it's like to change so much you no longer know who you are…" Jackson let out a shaky breath and continued, "I guess at the end of the day it always goes back to the fact that I'm selfish…except it's worse than that it's almost sinful, it's like objectivism at its worst…It was because I was selfish that people died, it was because I was selfish that Matt and Gerard did those things to me…I'm just tired of being a bad person, I'm too tired to be perfect, I just can't keep trying…I wanted the bite because I tried so hard, I always had to watch as it was all slowly taken away from me and I couldn't stand it—the bite was supposed to make it easy, supposed to make me better inside and out and all it did was turn me into some monster…All it did was make me into the monster I already was. I had to be perfect because if I wasn't—it's so stupid—I always thought that they were just waiting for a reason, one slip up and I would be off to god knows where—but sometimes I wish the bite had killed me." Jackson laughed again, a sound filled with pain, "and then I did—die—twice. I remember going home after wards. When I unlocked the front door and walked into the kitchen, my parents were there and when my mom saw me she burst into tears, she hugged me so tight, and my dad was there and he kept saying 'My son, my son' and we all hugged and I cried…but things have been better since that day, I finally understand that they love me, they're my parents, my parents…"
Jackson couldn't talk anymore, he'd spilled his guts, the little he had, and couldn't keep going, he just couldn't, Stiles would just have to wait and be patient with him. Jackson closed his eyes and let a few stray tears spill down his face, the wolf comforted himself by rubbing his face against the back of Stiles' head and the boy could only keep his own tears in and let Jackson calm down.
Stiles had asked for this, he'd wanted to know Jackson better and now he did and he kind of wished he didn't, because he had no clue how to handle someone else's baggage, he couldn't even handle his own.
They spent the rest of the day playing games in Stiles' kitchen. Stiles was a fan of Magic The Gathering and spent an hour trying to explain the rules to Jackson before setting up a place on his dining table and splitting his cards into two decks. Jackson won the first two games which led Stiles to believe that he was cheating, Jackson swore he wasn't. It took another few games for Stiles to realize that Jackson understood the game better than he let on. They switched to Uno then a game of Trivial Pursuit, before switching to console games. Jackson ordered a pizza while they played some Marvel V.S. Capcom. Again, Jackson was suspiciously good at the game and beat Stiles several times. They ate pizza while watching television and as they spent time together the sun slowly followed its path west until it dipped underneath the ocean and the day darkened accordingly.
They fell asleep on the couch, Jackson on top of Stiles in an attempt to seek out comfort from his mate after his too long confession. Jackson listened to Stiles' heartbeat as his mate slept and wondered what the boy was thinking. Did he really want to be with Jackson or was Stiles just saying that because he felt sorry for him? Jackson wished he cared. Instead he sighed and Stiles snored lightly and Jackson closed his eyes and slept.
On Sunday Jackson wanted to take Stiles out, but Stiles didn't really want to go, he still remembered the strange noises he heard outside his house and the fact that Jackson had showed up in his room terrified out of his mind and he was kind of scared to go out…but mostly Stiles just didn't want people to see him, see them, they were still new right? Like brand new and he didn't want to jinx it... Also, somewhere in his mind Stiles knew he wasn't ready for that, for people to know he was…gay…with Jackson. Stiles didn't know how Danny did it, he just needed some time, at least that's what he told himself. But Jackson insisted and Stiles didn't really know why he was so worried, so he said yes.
Jackson left Stiles' house and told him he'd return later in the day, sometime after noon, to pick him up. Jackson drove home in a hurry, he was excited, this was the first date he'd been on in a long time and he was surprisingly nervous. Jackson shoved all the things he could think of into a back pack and then went into his kitchen and opened the fridge.
An hour later he had four amazing grilled chicken and mozzarella Panini's all wrapped in wax paper inside a picnic basket. He shoved two towels and a blanket inside the basket before packing it all into his car. He went back into his house and took a quick shower.
As he dried his hair he thought about the whole situation, he felt giddy and happy, nervous as hell, and kind of scared and he wanted to tell someone. He texted Danny, he didn't say much just that he was going on his first date since he'd been dumped by Lydia, he smiled while he wrote the text and couldn't wait to see how the day went so he had something to tell Danny. Jackson realized that it had been a long time since he had shared a part of himself with Danny; the other boy was always asking Jackson for his advice about everything in his life and somewhere along the lines Jackson stopped talking back to Danny. He desperately wanted to share again, he wanted a friend, it'd been a long time since he felt he had one and a long time since he had been a good one.
Stiles was surprised once he realized where Jackson was taking him, though he really shouldn't have been. They were at the beach again, the sun was hot and perfect for a day near the water and Jackson had even brought an extra pair of swimming trunks for Stiles. They unpacked the car and hiked down the bluff to the sandy beach below. Jackson set a blanket on the ground while Stiles changed. First he took off his shirt and let his eyes stray to Jackson as he set books on each corner of the blanket to keep it from blowing away, Stiles then dropped his pants and folded them neatly with his shirt and stuffed them into Jackson's back pack. Stiles wrapped a towel around his waist and shimmed out of his underwear and quickly pulled up his swimming trunks. He sighed when he was done, he didn't know why he was so nervous, Jackson has seen him naked and more. The wolf was taking off his own clothes and Stiles tried not to watch too intently, it was harder than he thought, especially when Jackson would stretch and his muscles would pull tight.
Stiles was looking through Jackson's back pack when he felt himself being lifted off his feet, he screamed as the ground rushed below him until he felt the too cold splash of water on his body, and suddenly a wave crested over them and Stiles gasped as the icy water soaked him. They rushed back to the shore and Jackson had the largest smile on his face, his skin was flushed pink and his brown hair shown golden in the sunlight. Stiles couldn't help smile back.
"Here climb on my shoulders," said Jackson as he fell to his knees, Stiles looked at him and thought about it for a second it before he just did it.
'What the hell,' he thought. Jackson walked back into the water with Stiles on his back and waited for a large wave to rush them and as the giant crest of water approached he jumped, Stiles felt himself fly through the air before he crashed through the water beneath him.
They did this over and over again, it was completely frightening, Stiles kept thinking he was going to drown, but beneath all that was complete joy. The ocean was vast and powerful and Stiles was somewhat afraid but awed and amazed, it was sublime. Stiles felt like it was all childish fun, Jackson said it was primal, Stiles didn't know what Jackson was talking about.
The two boys played in the water until all their energy was spent—they chased each other, splashed fought, ran from waves, and Stiles had even clung to Jackson's back as the wolf swum far into the ocean and dove underneath the waves a few times before returning to shore—they collapsed onto Jackson blanket exhausted and out of breath. They laid there panting for a while until Stiles felt a cold spray hit his body, it made him flinch and flail, Jackson laughed and held up the spray sunscreen, "Your already turning red and I don't want you to burn."
Jackson sprayed Stiles with sunscreen before the boy did the same to him. Stiles laid back while Jackson opened the picnic basket and pulled out the Panini's and a few bottles of water and handed one to each of them. Stiles unwrapped his sandwich and took a huge bite and couldn't keep the loud moan in, it made Jackson blush.
"You like it?" asked the wolf, he really didn't think Stiles would, there wasn't much in them but he had tried his best to infuse the chicken with flavor by seasoning it well and adding a mayo basil sauce to it, he used pastry puff as the bread and grilled it all on the Panini press.
Stiles didn't answer he just moaned louder and louder while taking giant bites of the sandwich until all of it was gone and the boy was left licking his fingers even though they were still gritty with sand. Jackson raised an eyebrow and smiled, Stiles held his hands out and did the 'gimme gesture', Jackson plopped another sandwich on it. They ate side by side, Jackson had his foot crossed over Stiles', they were so close their hips touched and the sides of their torsos occasionally brushed together, every few minutes Jackson would knock his shoulder against Stiles' and they would silently smile at the ocean in front of them. Stiles ate three sandwich's, on Jackson's insistence, and they both drank two water bottles.
They spent a several minutes lying in the sand absorbing the warmth of the sun, the sand was surprisingly comfortable and there weren't many people on the beach and Stiles just felt completely at peace. The boy was glad Jackson had brought sunscreen, if he hadn't Stiles would be one giant red blister. As they lay there, Jackson slowly slid his hand through the sand until it touched Stiles, he hesitated for a second before taking the boys hand into his, and that's how they lay. Jackson couldn't keep the smile off his face, Stiles couldn't keep the confusion out of his head.
Jackson reached into his bag while Stiles was distracted and pulled out a camera his mother had given him—she'd given him two, a big expensive DSLR, a Canon EOS 5D Mark III, and an old polaroid that used to be hers, she was now passing it on to Jackson—he pulled out the polaroid and leaned close to Stiles, who had his eyes closed and seemed to be falling asleep, Jackson smiled wide and snapped a picture, waking Stiles with its loud snap, the film printed and Jackson hid it in his backpack. Most people think shaking it would make it develop faster, it didn't, not with modern polaroid's anyways, you just had to let it develop in peace. Stiles looked at him but didn't say anything he just closed his eyes again and relaxed.
The drive home was peaceful and fast, Jackson drove while holding Stiles hand and hadn't stopped smiling since they left the beach. Stiles couldn't keep the smile off his own face, Jackson was kind of sappy, 'who knew', he liked holding hands and long walks on the beach. Stiles closed his eyes and just tried to enjoy whatever was happening between them, it was confusing…but nice. He could smell the salt that was still on their skin and the strange fishy smell of sea weed Stiles had somehow tangled himself in, and in his pocket he had a sea shell to remind him of this day.
Jackson walked Stiles to his front door. The boy pressed his back against the cold wood of the door as he turned to face Jackson. The wolf stood there, slight pink to his cheeks, he smiled shyly and a bit sad, Stiles couldn't help the grin that appeared on his own face, all Jackson ever expected was to get hurt, the old Jackson used to hide that so well…or maybe not, maybe he'd made it so obvious no one really noticed.
"Want to come inside?" asked Stiles, and watched as a shy grin broke out across Jackson's face, Stiles wondered what happened to the old confident Jackson, the one that knew he was going to get laid, that Jackson hadn't been around since after the kanima thing. They walked inside and Stiles grabbed Jackson's hand and lead him up the stairs. Halfway up Jackson pulled him into his arms and they kissed, and stumbled up the stairs, and Stiles heard the loud bang of his room door slamming open then the back of his knees hit his bed and Stiles fell, Jackson landed on top of him and kissed him until they were both panting and drooling, which was gross but also really hot, and then Jackson started using his teeth on his lips and across his neck, and Stiles panted and racked his nails against Jackson's back. Stiles thrust his hips upwards and rubbed their hard-on's together, Jackson shuddered and but meet him half way and then there was a sound, someone clearing their throat and Stiles opened his eyes and then pushed Jackson as hard as he could and the boy landed hard on the floor beside his bed.
His dad stood in the door way, both eyebrows almost disappearing into his hairline, he slowly backed out of the room and quietly closed the door, Stiles wanted to die. Jackson looked up at him with a strange look on his face, he stood up and walked out of the door and let it swing shut behind him. Stiles laid there and wondered if he had done something wrong. He waited until his breathing eased before he moved, he adjusted his still hard dick and sighed loudly. He turned on his computer and thought about texting Jackson and asking him if everything was okay, he hadn't meant to hurt Jackson, it was his fucking dad, and they were making out, and rutting against each other like fucking animals, and Stiles distantly remembered he had been moaning, loud, like really loud, and he was sure Jackson was growling, and his dad saw… ' .Life'
After an hour—he put it off for as long as he thought was possible—he finally slowly walked into his dad's room and prepared himself for the most embarrassing conversation he was going to have with his dad, he never thought he would have to 'come out', like ever. But his dad wasn't there, Stiles could hear the sounds of dishes in the kitchen, he gulped in a large lung full of air before heading down the stairs as slow as he could. He turned the corner to his kitchen and stopped dead in his tracks. Jackson was sitting at the kitchen table drinking a large glass of milk while his father drank coffee. There were cookies on a plate in the center of the table and the first words out of Stiles' mouth were, "Who said you could eat cookies, you know you're on a diet." And his dad gave him 'The Look' and Stiles instantly swallowed his words. Jackson smiled at him reassuringly and that only made Stiles more nervous.
"So, Son, Jackson was just telling me that you two are…involved…in a relationship. Is that true?"
"Yes," said Stiles, he could feel the sweat breaking out on his skin and the way his nerves screamed for him to move. And so he did, he pulled out a chair and took Jackson's cup of milk and grabbed the plate of cookies and started dunking and filling his mouth with the too sweet pastries.
The Sheriff eyed his son before turning his attention back to Jackson, "Well it was nice of you to come down here and explain things to me."
"Well you shouldn't have found out like that, we should have told you, but this is kind of new, we didn't want to tell too many people before we knew, before we both knew, that we wanted this." Stiles was surprised by how sincere and eloquent Jackson sounded, he was being respectful, of both him and his father, and he understood the situation better than Stiles realized. It kind of made him feel bad to know that Jackson could still sense his reluctance.
"Well Jackson thank you, but I think it's time for you to go," his father smiled and raised his eyebrows, both boys blushed, "you have school tomorrow after all."
When Jackson's Porsche pulled out of the drive way and disappeared down the road his father turned to him with a curious scowl, Stiles stood there and knew it was now time for their conversation.
"So, first question, is this serious, are you really dating Jackson Whittemore?"
"Maybe…" Said Stiles, he knew he liked Jackson, he just didn't know if he could make it work, and Jackson was right, he wasn't a wolf, he didn't mate, so if he felt he didn't love Jackson, well it would only be right to break up….
"Maybe? Is that really your answer?"
"I don't know what you want me to say dad," Stiles shrugged, "we've had a connection for a while now and I hadn't realized that that connection went a lot deeper for Jackson than it did for me and the one day we…well we connected further and I realized that maybe me and Jackson could be more than we have been and maybe I could be happy with him…" Stiles didn't know what else to say so he just shrugged again.
His father shook his head though, "that boy, he isn't anything maybe about you, his full blown head over heels in love with you, you realize that don't you? He doesn't deserve a maybe Stiles, and if you're just doing this to get revenge, or to pass the time, or for any other reason other than to love that boy back…well he doesn't deserve that."
Stiles was stunned his father thought he was petty enough to do something horrible like that, "We…I can't promise more, but for now I'm happy, what more can I do?"
His father just kept shaking his head, "and when someone else comes along who makes you happier, what then?"
"Jackson understands that I can't...he knows that this might not work"
"Yeah, he probably does, but do you really think that would keep him from being hurt"
Stiles sighed and finally just said, "Dad, we're both still young I don't even know what it feels like to love someone, I think I do, and I think I feel it for Jackson, that's it for now, give me some time."
His father looked at him and finally shrugged, there was nothing he could do for the two boys, he just hoped neither of them would end up hurting the other.
Jackson drove away from the Stilinski household and gripped the steering wheel hard to keep himself from turning his car around and going back to the house. There was a strange energy coursing through his body and he didn't really want to go home, he needed to do something or talk to someone. He drove around until he ended up at an old abandoned warehouse, it looked like Derek's old abandoned Train Depot but the important part was that it wasn't.
After he had died, twice, and came back things had been weird for him. He had large patches of time missing from his head and he often found himself focusing on strange thoughts, feeling or sights, some that he would sometimes not even remember. Danny always said it looked like he went into a trance, the way he would just stare off into space until someone brought him out of it, Jackson never really remembered doing it, he only remembered thinking about his life and himself and who he was and not being able to find a single answer. He talked less, he didn't get as angry, though of course he still got angry, and he just didn't seem himself, mostly it was because he wasn't. There was the guilt and the self-loathing, and a million different things that just made him act so…subdued.
Derek didn't want him, neither did Lydia, and Jackson found himself truly alone. He didn't really mind, he had his parents who loved him and which he loved back. The werewolf things he figured out by himself, until Peter showed up. He teased Jackson, and bothered him, and made him feel as if his emotions didn't matter, as if the person he was, the old Jackson, as if that was the only possible thing he could be, and Jackson had just lost it. He lunged at Peter and clawed and bit, they fought, and before Jackson knew it he was crying and yelling and telling Peter that it wasn't his fault that he tried so hard and nobody fucking noticed, that he just wanted to know that he wasn't alone and people just didn't fucking care, and Peter reached out and hugged Jackson against his chest and Jackson had sobbed into that crazy alphas chest until there was nothing left inside Jackson except a dull empty throb.
Peter had taken him under his wing and taught him everything he knew, Peter had been his alpha and he raised a great beta. One who knew more about his inner wolf than anyone else, even Derek. That Alpha couldn't even go full wolf, something Jackson had learned to do his first month with Peter. They'd grown close and Peter had helped him keep himself together as Jackson desperately tried to…keep himself together. And if Derek hadn't been a jealous bitch, Jackson would still be with Peter, the man actually wanted to be Jackson's alpha.
Once Lydia left Jackson, Stiles and him sort of connected. They bonded over being dissed by the same girl, about the way she had tried to manipulate the both of them, about the supernatural bullshit in their town, and a million different things until one day they realized they were close friends.
Which is why he was at the warehouse, it was the place Peter had made his home and Jackson walked in excited to see the man who he'd grown to respect. Jackson walked deep into the warehouse until he found the man in his kitchen, he was making a sandwich with far too many layers. The alpha smiled wide when he saw the other wolf and they both embraced hard.
"There's so much I have to tell you, I'm happy, for the first time in a long time, and I wanted to see you, to talk…is it okay?"
Peter laughed and said, "Of course." He pulled Jackson into his arms and hugged him tight.
"Remember I told you about Stiles…about him being my mate, well we had our first date today…it was nice and I think…I think we're going to be okay." Jackson smiled wide, he had so much hope.
Peter's smile wavered, "Jackson…are you sure you want to follow through with this. I know he's your mate, I know you love him, but…he's human."
"What does that matter, we're going to try and I—"
"I don't think this is a good idea," said Peter and looked right into Jackson's confused eyes. The smaller wolf didn't get it he had his mate, his mate wanted to be with him.
"He said he loved me…"
"Jackson, I don't want you to think…it's just that humans have a way of…changing their minds. They're not like us, they don't feel the same thing we wolves feel for our mates. I'm not saying they don't know how to love, I'm just saying that they can fall out of love, we can't, and I don't want to see that boy hurt you."
Jackson was confused, Stiles was his mate and hearing Peter talk about him like that was pissing him off, but at the same time he knew that Peter was coming from a place of affection and had his best interests in mind.
"I just…I need him Peter…" The older man smiled and hugged him tight.
That night Jackson lay in his bed and tried to sleep but couldn't. He wasn't tired, he wanted to be with Stiles, he wanted to sit in his tree and watch his mate sleep and make sure he was safe and protected. He sighed and tossed from one side and then another before he just lay on his back staring at the ceiling. His phone vibrated with one message from Danny, 'wat, when, who! I thought you said you weren't going to date girls ever again'.
Jackson smiled as he wrote his response, 'yeah, exactly ;)'
Danny responded, ' :o '
Jackson laughed and rolled over, he couldn't wait to talk to his best friend. There was a lot he had to tell him.