At about 4 pm the next day Mulder opened his front door and kicked a newspaper still lying outside through and to the left. He looked at a pile of papers and mail on a nearby table and sighed, he'd deal with all that later.

After dropping his bag on the floor Mulder perched on the edge of his couch and tried to breathe slowly. The growing anxiety he'd been feeling since they'd been checked out of the hospital was swimming around his head, coming in waves but steadily building.

It had seemed logical to try to get back to their lives, to return to 'normal', but everything about leaving that hospital and going their separate ways had seemed wrong.

Letting out steady breaths Mulder focused on doing what was best for Scully, the doctors had said returning to normal would be good for them…and normal for them was being apart…living apart.

He knew Scully was safe, intellectually he knew that...but his mind couldn't focus…it circled away and then returned to her in a whirl that started to make him feel nauseous. His eyes closed and he dropped back against the couch, maybe not thinking about her didn't work for him…maybe the doctor was right, that Scully needed space and normality…but maybe if he just focused…

He imagined her head lying on his chest, could almost feel her weight against his side…with his eyes closed that darkness almost felt calming…almost…

The musty scent of wet mud and soil shot into his senses and Mulder opened his eyes with a start and looked down at his chest to find himself alone.

Again…naturally…he thought with a sad smile than stood and walk to the kitchen. Not remembering why he was there he walked back to the living area and stood looking at the couch.

What was he doing again?

He looked around the small room and then walked to open a window. Had the apartment always seemed this small?

Staring down at an old pair of sneakers he bit his lip and considered going for a run. A run…he'd been for a run that night, and this was the first time he'd been home. Home, what did that mean anyway?

Mulder noticed his chest getting tighter and is breathing speeding up, he tried to calm the thoughts in his head but they just came faster.

They spun…

Scully…that was the answer. What was the question again?

He took three steps backwards and hit the wall. Oh, God…

Where was he?

Scully walked through her front door and straight to her bedroom. An unobservant person might have thought she looked fine, they might not have noticed her hand shaking when she dropped her bag onto her bed.

She felt a weird sensation for a second and then suddenly realised that her hand was reaching out to the left, she shook her head at the absurdity. Did her body actually think he would be there?

Turning to sit on the edge of her bed Scully looked around the room. Why was she supposed to be here again?

She remembered the perfectly logical discussion at the hospital.

Coming home and going back to normal would be good for both of them.

A single tear fell down her cheek and then Scully bit her lip and flopped back onto the bed. She looked at the ceiling and tried to collect her thoughts…normal…nothing about their lives had ever been normal anyway.

Besides their lives had changed, this experience had changed them. They would get better but that would take time. They were together now, so why was it not okay to lean on each other for a while?

They gave each other comfort and strength...

Scully couldn't understand why they couldn't start at that point - then use time and therapy to learn how to rediscover some personal independence while structuring a relationship that worked for them both.

They'd been alone long enough already.

Scully sat up and looked at her bag. Never in her life had she felt that it was okay to lean on someone else…to allow herself to be strong enough to accept that she couldn't do everything alone…

Her heart started beating faster and tears ran down her face as she emptied the bag and threw her dirty clothing onto the floor in a very un-Scully-like manner. Then she walked to her drawers and started pulling random items out and stuffing them into the bag.

Minutes later she walked through to the living area and called a cab.

Then went out to stand in the rain and wait for it to arrive...

When Scully arrived at Mulder's apartment she was wet, shivering and undoubtedly looked completely pathetic…or at least she guessed as much when for the first time in US history the cabbie had refused payment.

After about three seconds bouncing nervously on her heels, she took a deep breath and ran for the stairs.

Standing outside his door she knocked twice and waited. He couldn't be out, they'd only just been released…maybe he'd stopped for food…

A neighbour's door opened.

"You here for him?" He asked abruptly.

"Sorry?" Scully asked.

"You look like one of his…"

"One of his…?"

"A nut…been here a couple of months and that man seems to attract crazy," He said bluntly.

"That man is a federal agent," Scully replied indignantly.

"And what are you meant to be?" The neighbour laughed cynically.

"I'm…" Scully glanced down at her soaking wet clothing, "I'm also an agent...and a medical doctor…I just got caught in the rain."

Her eyes darted around nervously; she didn't want to talk to this man right now.

"A doctor?" The man laughed and looked her up and down. "Well, he needs one of them, darlin'…been thinking about callin' 911, but guess he's your problem now."

"What?" Scully asked sharply.

"Banging on the wall, sounds like he's knocking against it…and swear to God he's been bawling for at least half an hour. That man ain't right…" He called back as he stepped back inside his apartment and slammed the door.

Scully already had her keys out and was shakily trying to get them into the lock.