Woosh. Okay so by now some of you MAY have realized (or not) that this looks suspiciously like Clair's background story from lost. Well, that's because it is hahaha. Oops. All this, Maya being pregnant, Maya being scared, Maya being left, Maya putting the baby on for adoption, is all based on Claire Littleton. But don't worry, Maya is not going to fly to Australia or something and ending up on a deserted island. That would be weird.

People who are also following my other story (It Will Be Fine), may have noticed that I don't update anymore. That's because I'm completely drenched. I don't know what to write anymore, and I'm struggling. But don't worry, as soon as a little inspiration comes flying in, it will be updated. :) thank you for your patience!

I also want to announce that I completely lost my voice, and am sick as a dog (is that an expression outside the Netherlands?) and things I write may get a little crazy because I'm delusional. Enjoyyyyyy.

She was laying in a puddle of blood.

Maya woke up, sitting right up and crying.

"Hey, hey, Love, what is going on? Did you have a nightmare?"

He gently rubbed her back. "Do you wanna talk about it?"

Maya couldn't take it anymore. So many times, she wanted to tell him. She wanted to tell him the truth, not a half baked lie. She wanted to get it of her back. She couldn't bring in a child in this world with a serious secret.

Quickly she felt between her legs. Nothing sticky. Thank god.

"I have you tell you something."

"Now? It is like, 3 in the morning."

"Please', Maya quiet said.

Nico turned on the light, looked into her eyes and nodded softly.

"When I was eighteen, I did something really stupid. You remember my boyfriend Lucas?"

"That really good looking guy of who I was very jealous? Yes, I do."

Yeah well, he was part of our gang with Riley and Farkle and Zay. Lucas and I had sex once when we were very, very drunk."

Maya took a deep breath. Rip it off like a bandage.

"And I got pregnant. I already knew you. It was just at the beginning of college."

Nico got serious. "Okay."

"And of course, Lucas and I were together for a long time, but in no position to become parents. We both wanted to finish our college and university, but with a baby on the way... So Farkle told us that it was the best for both of us to get an abortion."

"Maya, did you...?"

"God no! But you can imagine Riley face when Farkle said that?"

"Kind of that face that she made when you guys were watching animal planet and they showed what happened to baby turtles and seagulls?"

"Yes, but ten times worse. The boy that she liked, very much, told her best friend to kill a baby. Farkle told me to kill a human infant that was growing inside of me. They got into a heated fight at Topanga's. Riley told him never to show his face again. And so he did."

"And what happened to you and that Lucas-guy?"

She put her hand up, showing that she was getting to that point.

"I told everyone of the baby. I told the gang of course. I told my mom and Shawn. I told Mr. and Mrs. Matthews. I told Lucas parents. But I never told anyone at school. Well, I did tell Louise, but that was in our third year."

Maya was quiet for a little while, preparing herself for the hardest part.

"I woke up one night, in my 5th month, with a awful pain in my abdomen. A minute later I realized I was sitting in a puddle of blood."

"Oh, Maya..."

"The pain was so unbearable I couldn't walk. My mom put me in the car. On our way to the hospital I felt another sting in my abdomen, so I screamed. Apparently my mom was alarmed by that, and drove past a red stoplight. W-we hid a car."

Maya started crying. Al those past years she did her best to forget them. She never told Nico because she was embarrassed.
"A-a few days later I woke up. They told me I lost the baby. They told me my mom was in a coma. And it was all my fault!"

"They said it was your fault?!', Nico said full of disgust.

"No, but I know it was true."

"Maya, it was not your fault. You can't control your uterus! Otherwise you could control your period, that would be nice, now would it?"

Maya laughed through her tears. She took a deep breath and continued the story.

"After that, I got back to school, pretending I was just sick and that I was never pregnant. It was fine, I got over it. But every time I saw Lucas... Though I never wanted to have a baby that early, and I didn't wanted a baby this early... I just, felt so happy. A life growing inside of be. I imagined what it was going to be like. This happy, prefect family. But we never got to be one. And every time I saw Lucas... I couldn't help thinking... Would it have his eyes? Or his nose? Would it be a boy, and name it after his Pappy Jo? Or after my mom if it was a girl? I couldn't stand it anymore. So I broke up with him. Every time I looked at him, it reminded me how our baby died. Inside me... He and Zay were best friends, so naturally, Lucas didn't come back, as did Zay. From that point it was just me and Riley. My dad left, my friends left, my mom left. My...Biggest fear had come to life."

She started crying again and Nico just hold her.

"I'm just... Just so scared it will happen to this baby."

Nico was quiet for a little time. Then he got up and said', I don't think sleeping is of the table. Why don't you go sit on the couch, look for fun movie to watch."

Maya got up and crashed on the couch. Nico made some pancakes.

Maya had never seen her memory so clear. She hated it.

"Cravings?"

"Uuhmm... I'm kind of in the mood for honey. Like, the whole week."

"Morning sickness?"

"Not since I took that pregnancy test, but I have the awful feeling that I can throw up any second now."

"Please, not on me', Riley said as she scrabbled something down on her little notebook.

"Riles, why are you doing this?', Maya asked as she laid down on her bed. It was a nice, nothing-to-do Sunday.

"Becaussee... Someone need to keep a track on your pregnancy, and since it's not you ór Nico, you sloppy pigs, I'll have to do it. How is your skin?"

They got interrupted by a horrible.. Hello Kitty ringtone?

"Seriously, Honey?"

"What? It's a nice song!" She picked up the phone. "With Riley. Oh, hey Farkle! Yeah, I'm with Maya now. Yeah, you can eat with us. Alright, see ya in a sec."

When she put down the phone, she noticed Maya looking at her with her Riley-what-are-you-doing-face.

"Riley, what are you doing?"

"What? You know, this is the third time you are judging me today."

"What can I say. Hormones. What is happening between you and Farkle. You still like him, don't you?"

"Ehhhhhhhh."

"Riles, c'mon!"

"Yes, okay, I like him! All those old feeling are coming all up again, you know?"

"No, I don't know, Riles', Maya laughed.

"He is just like he was when we were little. All those good things I remember about him. Like his kindness. He is so sweet, he's thoughtful, he's understanding. He is smart. He is doing a killer job at his work. And not to mention, he is incredibly hot!"

"oh my god, Riley. You've seen him like what, two times?"

"Uh, three times."

"What! Riley! You've only reconnected with him since two weeks ago."

'I knowww. But, when I'm with him it feels so good. And he mostly makes the first move."

Maya sat upright. "Move of what?"

"Maya, chill. I mean, he is the one who calls me. I think it's cute."

"You know what. It is. I hope the best for you guys."

Riley grabbed her hand. "Thanks, peaches, what's means a lot."

Not a half hour later they were sitting on the dining table, with a simple ordered pizza in front of them (Maya was putting honey all over it, Riley and Farkle nearly puked), laughing.

Farkle poured some wine in Maya's glass.

"Not for me, Farky." She poured all the wine in Riley's glass and ignored her friend's indignantly face.

"Oh, right, shit! I totally forgot. You're barely showing! How far along are you? How's peanut?"

Maya laughed. "Peanut's fine! I'm twelve weeks in and I think it likes honey. Honey and dough."

"Dough?', Farkle asked.

"Yesterday Maya and I were about to bake cookies, I'm went to the bathroom, came back and all dough was gone."

"Chocolate chip cookies with raisin and almond?"

Riley laughed, and suddenly stopped, when she realized what Farkle said. "Yeah, how do you know that?"

Farkle gazed, seriously gazed in each Riley's eyes. "Seriously, it's the only thing you would eat when we were little. I baked those cookies with you once at your place, and your mom almost lost in after our flour fight."

"Oh my god, I remember. It was one of the most fun days of my life!"

This had turn into a roman, and Maya wanted to throw up. "By second thought, handle me the wine over', she joked.

Suddenly, the front door of the apartment opened. "Maya!?', Nico yelled.

"Over here, babe."

She heard Nico tripping over something. Maya stood up and walked to the hall. "Nico, are you okay."

She looked back at her friends, who were looking at her questionably.

"Babe?"

Maya smelled alcohol when she walked towards him. No kidding, he held a Jack Daniel bottle in his hand.

"Nico, what happened?"

"Nothing, hottie. Just, ran into someone in the bar.', he giggled.

"God, you reek. C'mon, I'm going to put you under the shower.', Maya sighed. She grabbed his arm, and pulled him, but he pushed her away.

And it wasn't a little push. No, he pushed her so hard, she fell against a closet with her head.

After that it kind of became woozy. Her body wasn't working, and though she saw double, she saw everything.

Riley and Farkle ran up to her. Farkle turned from Maya to Nico, went up to him and pushed him.

They were screaming, but Maya couldn't make any words of it. Suddenly she realized that she couldn't hear anything, but a loud peep.

Riley carefully put her hand behind Maya's head, and when she pulled her hand back, it was covered in blood. "Fuck, Maya', she whispered, but Maya only saw her lips moving. She saw her best friend getting up, running to the dining table, looking in her purse for her phone, and calling someone.

"Babe, I'm sorry', Nico yelled. The voice ran into her ears like a bang.

"Maya, lay still', Riley cried. When did she sat back down next to Maya? Maya blinked. "Your going to be fine. Just... Just lay still, okay? Farkle?"

But Farkle was to busy making sure that Nico wasn't getting close to Maya. "Maya', he said, with his hands behind his head.

Within 15 minutes an ambulance was standing outside the apartment building, and within 10 they were gone.

Riley went with Maya to the hospital, while Farkle made sure that scumbag of a Nico stayed with his friends.

In the hospital the nurses stitched Maya's head up. She had a concussion, and Riley had to stay the whole night, making sure that Maya reacted normally every three hours.

The next morning, when the alarm went off, Riley turned to Maya, looking at her with a look on her face that could kill and whispered', that was the worst sleepover ever, Peaches."

"Even worse then that time you-"

"We are not doing this!', Riley quickly said. Maya giggled.

"Hey, have you noticed that if you lie down, you have a little bump?', Riley asked.

Maya pulled up her shirt a little bit, and softly stroked her belly with her fingers. When she was on the spot where her baby was supposed to be, it was early, with she could've sworn she felt something. It made her heart melt.

"It's going to be fine, Peanut', she whispered through her tears.