Chapter 3

"Have at you!" Cried Larch.

"Wait, don't we have to pick one of us to go first?"

"Oh, right, silly me. Well, since you challenged, I suppose I should get first go."

The woman concurred that this was fair, and Larch gave his first command.

"I shall begin by using Flamethrower!" He shouted in a triumphant manner, even though he just started.

On cue, a jet of red-hot flame burst from Rembrandt's mouth, turning a small patch of sand into glass. Henry panicked, and began running around without aim, his fur on fire. Suddenly, Anne got an idea.

"Henry, tackle him!"

Being on fire, the power of the tackle would be very impressive indeed. In fact, there was something that the woman had disregarded: Smeargle paint contains a specific combination of enzymes and chemicals that is highly flammable, and even explosive in some cases, including Rembrandt's. Neither Henry nor his owner were aware of this fascinating property, and when Henry's attack collided, setting Rembrandt on fire, he began running around in a blind panic, splashing paint everywhere.

"Oh, dear…Rembrandt! Watch out!"

Thankfully for him, Rembrandt was smart enough to avoid the puddles, but Henry lacked this knowledge, and ran directly into one of them, creating a moderately good facsimile of the move Explosion. When the smoke cleared, it was quite evident that Henry had fainted.

"That's alright, Henry. You did good."

She pulled out the only empty PokeBall on her person, and put Henry back in it, converting his mass to a sort of red energy.

However, Rembrandt wasn't looking so hot. Running around from being on fire, and of course, being on fire, had tired him out to a significant degree.

Not to be outdone, Larch's opponent pulled out a second PokeBall, containing an even more frightening creature.

"This one is named Dante!" She said, throwing the device to the ground.

"Dante?" Asked Larch and Rembrandt in unison, recognizing the unfortunate connotations that name carried.

There fears were soon realized, as the Pokemon that emerged was quite frightening; a Houndoom, of all things to be considered cute.

"Okay, there is no way you can honestly consider that to be cute." Said Larch.

"Hey, don't be mean!" She yelled, seeing that Dante was hanging his head and backing away, as if he was hurt by Larch's comment.

"Uh…well, I, er, didn't mean it like that!"

"Dante, use a jumping tackle!" Commanded the woman. Dante, having done this maneuver many times before, knew exactly what to do: run a bit away from the main battle, turn back around, and, when sufficiently close to the target, leap up and strike it with his shoulder blade for massive damage.

"I'm doomed." Said Rembrandt, tensing his body in preparation.

Indeed he was, for when the brutal attack hit, he almost immediately passed out.

"Wait, is that even a move?" asked a bewildered Larch. "Oh, never mind. Rembrandt, return!" He pulled out the PokeBall and took back his defeated partner.

"My next choice is…uh…wait, which one has Artie in it?" He asked, holding up two PokeBalls. "I've forgotten."

"Who's Artie?" Questioned the woman.

"Oh, uh, my Furret. I had a mark on his ball, but I had a mark on the other one, and I've forgotten which is which."

"What's in the other?"

Hearing her question, Larch panicked. Should he tell her what was really in it, or make something up? Would she even believe her if he told the truth?

Finally, after sweating out the equivalent of a small puddle, he had his answer.

"It's a Shaymin."

"A what?"

"A Shaymin. It's official status is Legendary, though it is not particularly rare, just extremely elusive. The one I have took me three months to track down and capture."

"Wait, you caught a Legendary?" Asked the woman incredulously.

"Yes, but I have no intention to fight with it. It is far too powerful, and it simply wouldn't be any fun for either of us. Now that I think about it," he continued, looking at both containers, "Artie is a good friend, but something of a wimp. I forfeit."

"You…what?"

"I forfeit."

"Oh. Hey, did I ever get your name?"

"Oh, dear me, you didn't! I'm Professor Berkeley Larch."

"I'm Anne." She replied.

"That's certainly an interesting name. Speaking of which, I received a strange letter a while ago, saying that I was to go to Unova to defeat some terrible evil. Care to join?"

"Oh, I'd love to!" Shouted Anne with glee. "It sure is boring around here, defeating evil sounds really interesting!"

"Quite right!" Then, Larch remembered what had happened. "Oh, wait, the flight. Damn."

"Hey, there's a really nice park over there."

"Really?"

"Yeah, you can take your Pokemon for a walk, and they heal any fainted ones."

"Let's go, then!"

about ten minutes later…

Entrance to Amity Square.

"It certainly seems nice enough." Larch noted to himself. However, all was not right. A tall, bony man with messy brown hair was sitting outside the entrance, next to a large, green, regal-looking snake. A Jalorda, in other words.

"Oh no, oh no, oh no…" Larch began breathing heavier and heavier.

"What's wrong?"

"I hate snakes."

The man twitched his head, and looked at the pair. "I'll have you know…" he began, pausing between random words and syllables, "I love snake Pokemon. Richmond was my starter in Unova, and he's always been there for me. But now they won't let him in!"

"What? I thought all Pokemon were allowed in Amity Square." Said Anne.

"Not anymore. Now they only let in 'cute' ones!" He twitched his head again, and looked down at his feet.

"What? They can't do that!" Cried Anne in defiance. She stormed up to the entrance of the park, fuming with rage. Inside a booth, an old man was reading a sports magazine.

"Er, Anne, I'll settle this." Said Larch, pushing Anne to the side. "Hello, my good sir, may I be allowed entry?"

"Do you have any cute Pokemon?" He asked slowly, putting down his magazine just a few inches.

"Oh, certainly!" Said Larch, pulling out what he had determined to be Artie's ball.

"What is it?" The man asked, again slowly.

"A Furret!" Said Larch, convince he had won.

"That is not on the list." He said, this time quickly, and snapping back the magazine to his face.

Larch's shoulders sagged. "What? But…" he began to sputter out a bunch of nonsense, before realizing he could still win.

"Surely a Shaymin would be on the list, in the off chance somebody managed to catch one?"

"No."

By now, Larch was sure the list was completely arbitrary. "Okay, what is on the list, then?"

"Buneary, Drifloon…"

"Drifloon!" He interrupted. "Those things kidnap children!"

"If you have an issue with the list, please take it up with the manager."

"And where is the manager, exactly?"

"Right in front of you, trying to ignore you."

"An insult!" Larch yelled. "I won't stand for this at all!"

"Go away, you idiot, I'm trying to read!"

"Oh, forget it, you're a moron anyway." Larch stormed off, much as Anne had earlier.

"Hey…" said the man that liked snakes, just as they were leaving. "Could I come with you?"

Larch began to say no, but Anne slapped her hand on his mouth and said, "Certainly!"

"Thank you." Said the man, getting up. "I'm Ralph."

Larch glared at Anne, before giving their names. "I'm Professor Larch, and this is Anne."

"Oh, those are nice names."

()()()

"Indeed, they are." Whispered a voice in the shadows, listening to their entire conversation. "Larch, you've certainly found yourself a team, but I have so much more…" he giggled to himself, but stopped soon after. "I shouldn't be laughing; you aren't dead yet." He got up from his hiding place, revealing that he was wearing an elegant pinstripe suit…

()()()

Next time: a car chase, because I like those. Also next time, the reveal of the villains identity, and after that, in the second part of the car chase, the conclusion to the Amity Square subplot. This has been AwkwardVulpix, over and out.