A/N: I can't seem to get a handle on my feelings about this story. It is at once fascinating and boring to me. Haven't been that ambiguous about a story in a long time. Still, I have enough passion for it to keep going. Thanks to those of you following along. Sheila

A Mediocre Man

Chapter 3

He woke with a start and found her sitting in a chair across the room staring at him. "I made coffee."

He sat up and blinked, running his fingers through his hair. She handed him a cup and sat back down. "You didn't need to stay."

"You were being followed," he said as he sipped on the cup. Then he remembered his phone and reached for it. "They still haven't gotten back to me with an ID on the plate."

She shrugged. "Whoever it was broke off before I got to Penny's."

"You were being followed. You aren't just a little curious about that?"

"I'm married to a powerful man, Jethro. It was probably someone from the Navy because of one of John's projects. A lot of his stuff is national security sensitive."

Gibbs rubbed at his stubble on his chin. "You wouldn't happen to have a razor?"

She smiled. "The one I use on my legs. It's in the shower."

Gibbs groaned as he got off the couch. "Thanks."

"I called Tim a few minutes ago. He's not answering."

"He's probably on the road. I'm meeting with him in about an hour." He disappeared into the bathroom.

"Can I be there?"

Gibbs appeared in the doorway working the razor. "You're coming along because I don't know who's tracking you and I don't trust your husband."

"That's not a decision you get to make for me."

"Are you the mother of one of my team members? Yes. Are you a Navy dependent? Yes. Two for two. Therefore, your safety is my responsibility. If the admiral wants to cop to having you followed- fine. You can come back here and let him stalk you to his heart's content. Deal?"

She rolled her eyes. "You are a real treat in the morning, Jethro Gibbs."

…..

"Mr. McGee! Mr. McGee! Can you hear me?"

Tim found himself staring into blinding light.

"Follow my finger, Mr. McGee." A hand blocked some of the light. He tried to sit up but he was trapped on all sides. Gibbs trained him for this. He struggled to find a weak spot.

"Mr. McGee! Stop fighting us! You're safe now! You're at D.C. General. You were in a car accident. Do you remember that?"

He tried to shake his head but it immobilized. "Don't move. Just answer my questions. Do you remember the accident?"

Tim blinked for a moment. "I was trying to get off the road."

"Can you tell me why?"

"Worried I was going to pass out."

"Are you sick, Mr. McGee?"

Tim concentrated into the light. "Cold turkey."

"Off of what? You have significant tachycardia. What were you taking?"

"Ativan." The room started to come in focus, and he realized that there were several people peering down at him.

"When did you stop taking the Ativan?"

"Yesterday."

The faces looked puzzled. "How much were you taking daily?"

"I was prescribed 4 mg."

"How much were you taking, Mr. McGee?"

Tim worked his bruised mouth. "On Tuesday, I took 14 mg. and on Wednesday, I took 18."

"How long were you taking Ativan above prescription strength?"

Tim thought. "Maybe 6 weeks."

A woman in a green cap shook her head. "That's some serious abuse, Mr. McGee. When you're taking that much, you can't stop taking it all at once."

"No more drugs."

"We're going to have to give you some Valium. Your body needs to wean itself off the Ativan."

"No!"

"Mr. McGee, listen to me. You don't have a choice. Your body is in serious distress from the tachycardia and from the accident. You need the Valium. You have some serious contusions and a possible concussion but no serious injuries. The patrol officer told me witnesses saw the car roll twice. People don't walk away from that. As far as I'm concerned, you are having a very good day."

McGee didn't respond.

"We should contact someone for you."

"No."

"Mr. McGee, you're going to need some help. Support is very important for someone who is detoxing."

"No."

"I suspect people are going to be looking for you."

He closed his eyes.

"Is someone going to be worried?"

"Yes," he whispered.

"Give me a phone number."

…

The Valium left him in a fog, and he was grateful that the nurses and doctors were gone from his room. Despair had settled in him with the realization that he could no longer control his life. He would have to face people with his failure and feel their disappointment. It left him numb.

He drifted in and out of sleep, the only relief coming from his heart settling back into its normal rhythm. A nurse came in with some food, but he ignored it. They wheeled him out for a CAT scan, and a doctor talked to him, but he digested none of it. The shame that enveloped him felt like a prison.

Sometime in the afternoon, he opened his eyes and found Gibbs sitting there like a statue. He tried to lift his head, but found his neck was still constrained by a C collar. "Boss?"

Gibbs' eyes studied him but he said nothing.

"Mom?"

"She's out in the lobby. She knows you well. Thinks it'll be too hard for you to see her right now."

McGee closed his eyes.

"I've seen your car and talked to the State Patrol. It's a twisted tin can. They're shaking heads over the fact that you can still breathe."

McGee's throat got thick and he looked away.

"I've talked to the families of victims for 20 years, and it didn't prepare me for what I felt when I saw that car. I had to walk away from it. Ziva cried. And Tony was a mess…I got the whole sad tale out of him about how he took your pills and the two of you planned to confess all. I chewed him out bad. Ducky and I should've been in on this from the beginning. Hell, it never should've happened at all." Gibbs stopped as the anger in his voice started to rise.

"Then I realized that this is my fault. I'm the one who despises weakness. You felt like you had to hide that from me. You told me about the medication, but you couldn't talk to me when the need grew and you started to abuse the pills. I saw that things weren't right, but I kept my distance. Wanted to give you space with your father. Felt it wasn't my place. Tony had to be the one to step in when I should've been the one. Even then, you wake up this morning, pass out on the floor, and still get behind the wheel of a car."

McGee's chin trembled.

"Tim, I'm trying to be careful here. The doc told us how hard this withdrawal is going to be. She also told us that Ativan withdrawal can cause some deep depression. God knows I don't want to make things worse."

"I deserve it," he whispered.

Gibbs rubbed his face. "No, you don't. You've been going through a lot, and you never give yourself a break. I know he wants you to be someone you're not. I know that's gotta be hard."

"Remember when you started talking to your dad. It was hard, wasn't it?"

Gibbs nodded.

"But you knew how important it was so you kept trying."

"Yeah, I did."

"He finally needs me, Boss."

He sighed. "Yeah, I just wished he was easier on you."

"He's remarkable and I'm not. It stings for him and it's a constant reminder for me that-"

"Stop! Don't do that. You're not less than him in any way except arrogance and title."

"We could've been three generations of admirals. Picture it."

"In my mind, you merely saved the world from another pompous ass."

"What's going to happen to my job, Boss?"

"You were driving impaired, but Ativan has a short half life. There wasn't enough left in you during the drug screen. The laws don't account for a withdrawal reaction. You're not going to be charged, but you're also not going to be in the field until you are fully weaned from this drug. Plus, you need to get your stress under control. You're special, McGee- irreplaceable even, but I won't have you at your desk until you get a handle on this."

McGee nodded, blinking away tears.

"Ducky says we go slow as we don't overwhelm the anxiety. Is there anyone else you want to see today?"

"I probably should see-"

"What the hell happened?!"

Gibbs and McGee turned to find Admiral McGee in the doorway. "How did I end up being the last to know that my son almost got killed?!"

Gibbs stood. "Take it easy, Admiral."

"Not a damn chance! I want a few words with my son!"

"Not like this."

"Dad," Tim said. "I screwed up. I'm really sorry."

"You almost got killed! And then I hear you've been taking drugs. What the hell!?"

"Dad, it was only for a few months."

"Just like your mother. What's next? A suicide attempt!"

"This is neither the time nor the place, Admiral!" Gibbs got between McGee and his son. "I mean it!"

The admiral turned on Gibbs. "You never stop! It is not your place to be here!"

"Dad!"

The door opened and Patty McGee was there. "That's enough, John. You're angry at me! Leave him alone!"

John McGee shook his head. "Hey Tim, do you want to know that your mom was doing while you were fighting for your life? Or should I say, who she was doing?"

"Don't you dare, John!"

"She and your boss were shacking up. I've got the proof."

She turned to Gibbs. "I told you he was probably having me followed."

Tim's heart woke in his chest. "What! I don't understand."

"Tim, it's not true!" Patty said."

"The two of you spent the night together, Tricia. It's sick!"

Gibbs ran the admiral into the wall, grabbing him by the collar. "That's enough! She was being followed and I was concerned. I slept on the couch!"

"Are you sure? Your mom's had a busy year."

Gibbs stared into his eyes. "You need to go."

"Dad! Boss, please don't hurt him! Please!" McGee struggled to climb out of bed.

"Stop, Tim!" Patty was there, pushing him back in the bed.

Then Ducky was in the room puffed up with all the authority his years carried. "Out! All of you! Now!"

McGee started to hyperventilate and Ducky took over. "Get a nurse and shut the door behind you! Now!"

…..

Ducky came out of the room half an hour later. The waiting room was silent. The Admiral and his girlfriend occupied one end of the waiting room and the team on the other. Gibbs stood. "Is he okay?"

"He's sedated. Timothy's a strong man, but he is in the depths of a detox process. You can't bring stress into that room."

"I don't want him to have any misconceptions, Duck."

"He trusts what you say."

"I want to see him," John McGee said.

"Please John!" Patty said, her eyes red.

"I'm not the enemy, Tricia!"

"He can't handle either of us right now."

"Don't you dare keep him from me!"

"Enough!" Gibbs turned to Ducky. "What does he need?"

"It's going to take a few days for him to finish his detox. Those days need to be quiet ones. No stress."

Patty nodded. "I'll stay away, John, as long as you do as well. Please. He needs a break."

"We're his family."

"And we're hurting him. Let's go to our respective corners and give him a rest."

"You all see me as the problem and I'm not. I have his best interest in mind."

Patty sighed. "He's 35 year old. We don't have a right to his best interest anymore. They are his choices, not ours. You have to let go."

"Like you did to me."

"Please don't go there, John. I'm going back to Penny's because I know that his team will watch over him. I beg of you to do the same."

He pointed a finger. "Don't ever question my love for him."

"I wouldn't."

"Alright, I'll do it."

"And please stop having me followed, John. You can have whatever terms you want in the divorce. I'll sign anything."

He stared at her long and hard. Then he grabbed his coat and his girlfriend and left.

…..

Patty McGee looked down at her burger and fries, but had little interest in eating.

"Come on. You haven't had anything to eat today. It's no good to get yourself sick." Gibbs gestured with his knife.

"He was all bruised up."

'He's going to be fine."

"You weren't there when he was sixteen and crashed his first car. He almost died. He was in a coma, Jethro. It was horrible. John was in the Indian Ocean at the time. It took him 36 hours to get home. I remember when he showed up, red-eyed and scared. He sat at Tim's bedside without a break until he woke."

"It brought back memories."

"John is impossible. He always has been, but he loves our boy with all of his heart."

"At what cost, Patty?"

She sighed and pushed her plate away. "It's easy to make him the villain. He plays the part so well, but it's more complicated than that. The two of you are like a couple of bulls every time you're in a room together."

"That's true," he said, eating fries off her plate.

"It hasn't always been John's world. His father, Nelson, was even worse than he is. Penny was a loving mother when she was around, but she was always seeking her next big challenge. I haven't been the easiest wife. I could never organize these events with wives very well. I'm a dreamer, an artist: not a politician. An admiral's wife's job is to elevate his career, and I hated garden parties. He had to compensate for me."

He shrugged. "I still don't feel sorry for him."

She stared at the table for a long time. "Tim doesn't know this. It happened about three years ago. I was depressed, but I wasn't taking my medication. John was going to be home in a week, and I realized I didn't want to see him. It was a stunning revelation. My kids were gone and I'd grown distant with Sarah. Tim hadn't been home in years, and the only person left in my immediate life was someone I didn't care to see. The depression was deeper than I understood. I took pills- a lot of them."

She paused, sucking in breath. "I got lucky. I'd washed them down with alcohol and threw up a good portion of them before I passed out. My housekeeper found me unconscious the next morning. John came home and took over. He gave up a great opportunity in Washington to stay home and help me get back on track. I got back on anti-depressants and went to therapy. He was very patient with me."

"Then why aren't you still with him?"

She sighed. "Getting well meant recognizing that I couldn't live under his control anymore. He'd stolen any chance I had at an identity. He begged me to stay, but I couldn't survive like that anymore. Losing me was not something he wanted. He's suffered too, Jethro."

"Patty, I've had four marriages, ruined three of them. All of those women moved on, and he'll survive too."

"Tim doesn't know about the overdose, Jethro."

He nodded. "He's not going to hear about it from me."

She couldn't meet his eyes.

"Oh boy, now I know where he gets it. When are you going to forgive yourself?"

"Should I? Can you imagine how unfair it would've been to my children?"

He shook his head. "You have to forgive yourself just like Tim has to forgive himself for what happened today."

"Yeah. I didn't think about it like that." She nodded.

Gibbs' phone rang. "Yeah…That makes no sense. You need to dig deeper…Put the file on my desk and I'll look at it in the morning."

Patty dug for her wallet, but Gibbs put up a hand. "It's on me."

"Thanks for the talk." She started to get up.

"I'm afraid that it's not over. The car trailing you last night is not with the Navy. The plates are registered to a certain individual whom I thought was incarcerated. Until we figure out what's going on, you're not staying alone."

"Then how did John know you stayed at Penny's last night?"

"We'll find out in the morning. In the meantime, you're going to pack a bag and I'm going to take you somewhere else."

She shook her head. "I am not staying at your place."

"No," he smiled. "I think you and I have sparked enough scandal. I'll call Ziva. You can bunk with her."

…..

The Valium helped to a point, but it couldn't stave the waves of anxiety that the withdrawal produced. Images of Gibbs pushing his father up against the wall and his mother in tears only made things worse. The aches and chills surprised him. He didn't realize that a true dependence could be fostered in a few, short months.

Ducky was there a lot, and he told stories of his childhood in Scotland, stories McGee had never heard despite Ducky's reputation as a prodigious storyteller. Many of the stories were of Ducky's mistakes and redemption. It soothed him some to think that such an urbane man could have had so many cock-ups, as he called them.

Other times it was Abby. This Abby was different than the frenetic woman in the lab. She laid her head on the bed next to his and looked into his eyes, reliving their adventures in the lab together. Her stories cast him as the hero, often in conflict with his own memories of those events.

He liked her husky voice so close to his ear and the faint scent of cinnamon of her skin. Ducky came to relieve her once and she'd argued with him at the door. He couldn't deny what he felt when she was the one who returned to his bedside. She'd leaned over and whispered, "I want to prove to you that I can be who you need."

The comment confused him. She'd always been exactly whom he needed.

…

Francesca seated them both in the admiral's suite, and then went in search of the admiral. It was 8 a.m. but she looked like she was ready for an evening on the town. DiNozzo started to smile in admiration until he caught Vance's disapproving look.

The admiral came out in full dress and sighed. "I would expect Gibbs to apologize for himself in person. Sending the director and a lackey doesn't sit right with me."

Tony raised a brow and watched the unflappable Vance raise an eyebrow. "I'm afraid that I do not bring apologies with me. What happened in the hospital was not agency business. We're here with some questions."

"Questions?" He snorted. "I have questions! You don't think it's agency business for one of your agents to start cavorting with the wife of an admiral?"

Tony tried to imagine the idea of Gibbs cavorting, and ended up biting the inside of his lip.

"Admiral, Gibbs wouldn't even be able to use the word, 'cavort' in a sentence, let alone act it out in real life."

McGee glared. "What can I do for you?"

"Have you been in contact with Carlton Mane?"

"My former Lieutenant? He's out on bail waiting on an appeal."

"Yes, we know that. In fact, you're the one who bailed him out. My question again- Are you currently in contact with Carlton Mane?"

"My project is too sensitive for me to have contact with someone who has been dishonorably discharged. I have not been in contact with him lately."

"Yet you knew that Gibbs stayed at your mother's house last night."

He shook his head. "I'm lost. Seriously. I don't know what you're after."

"Admiral, how did you know that Gibbs stayed at your mother's house?"

"Is this a joke?"

Tony watched the exchange between Vance and McGee with the intensity of a boxing fan.

"Admiral, you assured SecNav that the details of this project were secure. Contact with Mane would jeopardize that."

"I have not had contact with Mane!"

Vance looked at DiNozzo who stood. "Two nights ago, Agent Gibbs followed a car who was following your wife. He stayed at your mother's house to ensure her safety. Turns out the car was registered to Mane. Your former aide was following your wife."

"Really? This is confirmed?"

"Yes. Special Agent Gibbs got a copy of the plate."

The admiral looked at the ground. "I imagine that Carlton wanted a few minutes with Tricia. She knew him well. He often spent holidays at our home. She was quite fond of him. I'm sure he was looking for her support."

"Admiral, your former aide murdered a man because he was going to report your illness. That's about as cold blooded as it gets. Still, you bail him out. Then he begins stalking your wife, and you show little concern." Vance said. "I'm confused."

"Mane was under pressure. I was constantly pushing him. His…loyalty to me was extreme. The night I came back to the cabin and told him that word of my illness was going to be reported...To say that I was upset would have been a great understatement of my reaction. He felt compelled to act. It was inappropriate, but he felt a greater good would be served by my work at the White House."

Tony frowned. "Did you just say that it was inappropriate for Mane to kill a man? Haber was a good Navy officer. He had family. He was following procedure. Inappropriate does even begin to describe what Mane did."

Admiral McGee reddened. "Do not lecture me! He did wrong, but I do not abandon one of my own. He sacrificed everything for me."

Vance cocked his head. "You said that you were no longer in touch with Mane."

McGee sighed. "I knew that I was going to have to cut ties with him. This project is too sensitive, and his presence in my life would be unseemly. I met with him and explained this. He struggled with it. Felt that I could get him back in a uniform. I told him that was never going to happen. The Navy was his life, and he felt abandoned by me."

"Has he tried to reconnect?"

"Not in the last month. Is that all?"

"How did you know that Gibbs spent the night at your mother's house if you weren't in contact with Mane?"

The admiral sighed. "Charlie Weaver. Retired guy. He lives next door to my mom's place. Called him the day that Tricia flew in and offered him $500 to keep me updated on her comings, goings, and visitors. He loves to spy. Caught Gibbs coming and going."

Vance stood up. "DiNozzo, check this guy out. Also, I want you to stay with the admiral until we locate Mane and have a little talk."

"Absolutely not, Vance! I won't have it."

"Admiral, these orders come directly from SecNav. I need to guarantee the security of your current project. Nobody wants Mane anywhere near this."

Vance left and DiNozzo looked up at the admiral. "Where's the mini bar?"

Francesca appeared in the room and frowned. "Who is this?"

Tony jumped to his feet and extended his hand. "Very Special Agent DiNozzo, NCIS, at your service."

She offered a limp hand. "You're here to guard? They usually stand outside the suite."

"I'm not here to guard anyone."

"He's a spy," John McGee said dismissively. "Apparently my loyalty is in question. Or is this more strong arming by Special Agent Gibbs?"

"Think what you want, Admiral," Tony said walking past him in search of the kitchen. "I'm hungry. Nuts? Crackers? Cheese? I'm not picky."

…..

Gibbs stood at the doorway for a long moment. Abby was speaking to McGee in whispers as he lay curled up on his side. He suspected he should wait, but he was haunted by what had gone on in McGee's room the day previous.

Abby caught sight of him and sat up. "Hey Gibbs."

McGee turned to face the door, his face a mass of bruises, but said nothing.

"Abbs, can I have a minute?"

She nodded. "No stress, okay?"

Gibbs nodded. It was nice to see her being so calm and soothing. He waited until she left before approaching the bed. "Hey Tim, how are you doing?"

McGee sighed. "I'm a drug addict."

"Maybe, you are, Tim. I really don't know much about these things. I'm only interested in seeing you get better."

He closed his eyes.

"I want to apologize for what happened in your room yesterday."

McGee's eyes blinked open. "You don't do that."

"Yeah, well it's turning into a real habit these days. I need you to know that I have not had a relationship with your mom."

"Women like you, Boss."

One corner of his mouth turned up. "Yeah, well they tend to get over that pretty quick."

"My mom is in a…vulnerable place."

Gibbs nodded. "I understand and respect that."

"Why did you stay at Penny's?"

"Someone was following her. Turns out it was Carlton Mane."

He rose up on one shaky elbow. "I don't understand. He's supposed to be in prison."

"Yeah, we thought he pleaded guilty, but apparently he didn't. He's out on bail waiting on a appeal right now."

"Who would bail him out?"

Gibbs ignored the question. "He was following your mom."

"Why?"

"Well, as soon as I finish here, I'm going to go find out."

"Keep that killer away from my mom."

"I promise."

McGee nodded. "I knew you wouldn't hurt her."

"Thanks."

"I know you're mad at my dad. He's pretty awful sometimes, but he cares. I know he does."

"He was upsetting you with things that weren't true, and I snapped. I pushed him up against the wall and it was the wrong way to handle it."

"Maybe if he wasn't so sick. I keep thinking that this would all be easier if he wasn't so sick."

"Yeah. Well, you know him better than I do. I gotta go, Tim. You do whatever the doctors tell you to do."

"I'm sorry, Boss."

"Just get better. That's all I need." Gibbs slipped out of the room before Tim could respond.

….

TBC