A/N: I thought it would be a good idea to explain a little of my opinion of the psychology of the characters, in a simpler way than I do in the story.

For the purpose of this essay, I will "play the game," with Watson being the author of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's Sherlock Holmes stories. I am also only addressing the timeline as far as 1891. I will make some assumptions, but ones that I believe have canonical basis.

First some basic facts, of which I am sure you are all aware.

In late 1887, Dr. Watson was wed to Mary Morstan. Soon after, or maybe even before, Holmes became aware of a great criminal presence in London. The crisis came in April of 1891, which resulted in the death of the criminal, Professor Moriarty, and Sherlock Holmes. These are the relevant facts to this fic.

The main points in my story concern the friendship between Holmes and Watson, the marriage of Watson and Mary, and the competition between Holmes and Moriarty.

Beginning with the friendship of Holmes and Watson, during their decade of acquaintance before Holmes's death, I see something akin to unrequited love in Watson. He is a man who has seen the horrors of war, and is in a profession in which a man must either shut down his emotions or draw on them to survive. I think everyone will agree that Watson used his emotions to his benefit.

However in the case of Sherlock Holmes, he had a problem. Somehow the two formed a deep bond of friendship. But Holmes does not show emotion. So how could Watson ever know if Holmes returned his feelings of friendship? He had given a part of his soul to the man, in a unique show of love.

I'll define this unique love before continuing, so there are no misconceptions. I am referring to "agape" love, which means "self-sacrificing" in Greek. The original reference is Biblical, concerning the sacrifice of Christ on the Cross to forgive the sins of the world. It is a rare love and a rare friend indeed, for someone to sacrifice themselves for another.

I believe Watson would sacrifice himself for Holmes in a heartbeat. It is the type of man he is. Once he forms a friendship, it is to eternity. That is my opinion of him.

Now we'll look at the friendship from Holmes's perspective. He has discovered a man who provides for him physically in the position of professional partner and doctor, and emotionally; Watson gives Holmes praise and a steady tie to reality, which Holmes so often forsakes in his work.

For reasons unknown to us, which I will not speculate on at this time, Holmes has all but closed his heart to other human beings. But I believe every person has a counterpart, and Watson was his. He did not know what to do with a counterpart however, and likely was unsure about the idea of true friendship with this love I describe and so guarded his heart for fear of pain.

In short, he accepted Watson as a friend but did not return the strong feelings Watson felt for him. At least, before 1891 he didn't.

Now we'll shift to Holmes and his nemesis, Professor Moriarty. He was an intellectual equal to Holmes, by his own admission, and the greatest professional competition Holmes had ever known. To Holmes, there could be no greater accomplishment in logic and justice than to defeat Moriarty.

I also believe Moriarty felt similarly about Holmes. It would be his greatest criminal achievement to defeat the world's greatest detective.

For a long time, years perhaps, this competition consumed the two of them. I believe that for Holmes it became like an addiction as Moriarty taunted him in hopes of defeating him, and Holmes came one step closer to his goal each time.

Obsession is a deadly trap to fall into, and almost impossible to escape. So Holmes pressed on in his pursuit and won, but he had gone too far at that point. It was Moriarty who had become the obsessed one, and as we know he made it his purpose to kill Holmes, and he did. Holmes could no longer escape at that point.

Perhaps, had he had his steady tie to reality to anchor him, he could have made it. But when one falls so far into that pit of addiction, there comes a point when they don't want to escape, and would choose death instead. Holmes was resigned to this, in my opinion.

Watson's part in this was simply to watch his friend disappear. Because by the time he was aware of the problem there was little he could have done to change the situation. I believe he was in a bit of denial about the issue, not wanting to believe that Holmes had finally gotten himself into a predicament with no solution.

Had Watson not been so unsure about Holmes's feelings for him, he may have taken a more active role. But his confusion over that matter likely held him back when he wanted to act.

And there is one more factor in this situation. Mary Watson nee Morstan. She started as a client of Holmes, but with Watson it was love at first sight. And very likely, almost the same for Mary. Holmes was aware of this development as it was occurring and showed no signs that he approved or disapproved.

We know that Holmes disapproves of women in general, because he doesn't understand them. But of Watson's marriage his only words were that she was an excellent choice, but he couldn't congratulate him because of his personal distrust of women.

It is possible, that Holmes was more reluctant to show any feeling for Watson after the marriage, though the reasons for his holding back are uncertain and numerous in possibility. I won't speculate on that either, but it is almost certain that he checked his feelings when Watson left him.

Watson's feelings never changed however. He had room in his heart for both Holmes and Mary, but it was a challenge to express love for them both. I don't believe he loved one more than the other, but given the situation it often seemed that he had to choose between them: stay with Mary or accompany Holmes on cases.

Mary was the perfect wife for Watson. Never questioning, always willing to give Watson his time with Holmes. But I don't believe she truly understood the nature of their friendship. She did her best, but Watson, being insecure about his position with Holmes, did not tell her anything of his feelings. And he also spared her in that way, by not burdening her (in his eyes) with all of his confusion.

Mary trusted Watson, and blindly agreed with him, though it gave her some confusion. She never felt any malice toward Holmes, nor felt that she was a competitor with him for Watson's love. But Watson felt that he may not be doing his duty as husband, by giving so much time to Holmes. Yet again, he kept this from her. (An illustration of some of this can be found in my epilogue to 'Like No Other') It did give her some grief, seeing her husband suffering something that he would not share. Watson knew this.

When Holmes died, I don't believe Watson was able to contain his grief and feelings. He wore them plainly, and Mary was finally able to understand the friendship Watson had with Holmes, and understood his feelings on the matter, which then cleared up her distress.

The trait of self-sacrificing love is strong in both characters. Watson giving his friendship to Holmes without knowing if his feelings were returned, and Mary willing to endure the blindness Watson placed upon her by not explaining any of his distress about his standing with Holmes, is a perfect show of this love.

I would like to say Holmes possessed this quality as well, but in this scenario it is not present in his character. The emotion that fed him was addiction, in the form of the need to attain victory. What fed Moriarty was obsession, in the form of his desire to destroy his rival.

So we have those two trapped in a circle, fighting each other. And then Watson and Mary following in confusion, but never once considering leaving the ones they love.

And that's my opinion of the psychology of the situation. If it makes no sense, I apologize. But I believe my opinions have canonical basis and I will stand by them.

Thank you all for showing so much interest in a story that started as nothing more than an image in my mind of faint sunlight hitting a rose.

-bcbdrums