Otacon descended into the very bowels of NERV HQ, finally alone in the awkwardness generator known as the elevator. It was the first time he had been alone in the elevator, and it gave him some time to think.

'Just what is an Eva Cage? Does it have something to do with the Evangelion Project? I wonder how an Evangelion stacks up against a Metal Gear. But why would Dr. Akagi want me to come down there? I'm not sure I even have clearance to see the Eva Project.'

Otacon exited the elevator, and took a left as instructed. Turning a few corners, he reached a large, heavy-looking door, complete with a complex keypad device to the side. Otacon tried swiping his ID card, to no avail. He typed a few possibilities into the keypad; still nothing. After a few minutes, a speaker above the keypad crackled with a female voice. It was Ritsuko's, sans high frequency notes.

"Hello, Otacon. Hold on a second, I'll let you in."

The door unsealed with a hiss, and it slid open in five layers. Inside was total blackness, but Otacon proceeded inside, following a soft whistling that traveled in the air. The air inside was hot and humid, and Otacon could hear some liquid sloshing about, like waves on a beach, but quicker and heavier. He walked forward on a metal floor, which clanged loudly under his steps. As the door closed behind him, enclosing him in total darkness, Otacon began to worry. He stopped, and tried to look around, but saw only blackness on every side. As he spun about, several intense overhead lights flashed on, revealing a gargantuan face. It seemed somewhat robotic, though smooth and sleek; it was a deep purple, with green accents and two dormant recesses that Otacon could only figure to be eyes.

"A face? A giant robot? Is this…" The rest of the lights in the massive chamber flickered on one by one, revealing what lay below the robotic face. A sea of orange liquid, which seemed to conceal the rest of the robot, rippled to and fro, five feet below the walkway on which Otacon stood awestruck.

"Evangelion. Unit 01, to be precise." It was Dr. Akagi's voice, and Otacon turned around to see her head bobbing above the surface of the orange sea. She hoisted herself into a small rubber raft with an outboard motor, which she directed over to the causeway. Climbing a ladder brought her up to Otacon's level, and she looked into his eyes with desire. Otacon stayed speechless as she emerged; she was dressed in a conservative but tight-fitting one-piece bathing suit, dripping with the warm orange liquid. She motioned to Otacon to follow her, and climbed back into the raft. Otacon obeyed, and soon they were adrift in the middle of the warm orange sea.

"So, why am I here?"

"I wanted to talk, Otacon. We can talk, can't we?"

"Apparently not…"

"What?"

"Your subordinate, Maya Ibuki, isn't happy with the way we've been…interacting."

"Oh, don't worry about her. She's just jealous."

"So, then the rumors are true--" He was rudely interrupted by Dr. Akagi's mouth, which planted itself over his own, clamping tightly as her tongue probed his staunchly closed lips. She pulled back disappointed, with a pouting look on her face.

"What's the matter, Otacon? You're resisting me…"

"I just can't do this until I know why you're being so forward like this!"

"Oh, I see. Well Otacon, all my life I've been sort of…alone. I've never had a lasting relationship with anyone, I live with a bunch of cats instead of people, and I get jealous when I see other people getting intimate, and Oh God, I'm so alone!" She fell into Otacon's lap, and began to sob. Otacon looked down at her in pity, but then came to realization.

"Oh no! Me too!" He leaned down on Dr. Akagi's body, and started sobbing too. They sat there in the boat, quivering in each other's embrace, while a shadowy figure watched from the glass observation box several stories above. Of course, their sobbing looked very different from way up there, and the face, partially obscured by shadow yet still identifiable, scowled once again.

The next day, Snake was instructed to meet with Commander Ikari once more, to discuss the former's directives and regulations in the field. He walked solidly through the corridors from his small quarters, resisting the instinct to stop and peek around every corner before continuing. He eventually found himself directed into a large, spacious office by an attractive young secretary. (Not that he felt any attraction, though not for a lack of trying!) He walked across the length of the darkened office, lit only by an eerie orange glow from the circular outer wall. Snake stood across the Commander's desk, waiting for the enshrouded man to speak up. As the orange glow seemed to seethe, parts of the Commander came into the odd light; he sat without a word, hands entwined in front of his mouth. After what seemed like ages of staring between the two unyielding powers, the Commander spoke up, if briefly.

"Hm…" Snake responded in kind.

"Hmm…" There was a silence, when the Commander spoke up once more.

"Solid Snake, we need you to carry out field operations that deal with…people."

"You don't usually operate against people?"

"We usually deal with Angels, but now we have different priorities."

"I understand. What do I need to do?"

"There are some individuals that want NERV gone. We need your unit to deal with them."

"How does it pay?"

"Better than you've had before. But there are also certain…perks…to working with NERV."

"Such as?"

"Our scientists have a way with biochemistry, especially in manipulation of the human genome. I understand you have some certain problems that we can deal with, in exchange for your services."

"Tell me more, Ikari."

Otacon and Ritsuko laid quietly, dozing afloat in Eva 01's cage. Suddenly, an alarm sounded; Ritsuko sat up and frantically tried to start the outboard motor. Otacon looked up through red eyes, curious.

"What's the alarm for, Ritsuko?"

"We need to get out! Eva 01's gonna launch!" The raft reached the metal causeway, and the two hastily climbed up onto it. As they took to the ladder, the LCL began to drain quickly. They stood atop the causeway in front of Eva 01's dormant face, when a familiar noise resounded through the cavernous cage. The two cringed as the causeway began to retract towards the doorways, and Unit 01's eyes flashed into life. Otacon took Ritsuko by the hand, and the couple rushed for the doorway. They reached the threshold, and Ritsuko put her ID card up to the scanner by the door. It hissed as the hydraulics worked the door open, though painfully slowly.

"You've gotta be kidding! Ritsuko, how long will this take?"

"Almost…Now!" Otacon grabbed Ritsuko about her waist, held her tight, and dove through the narrow opening in the door. On the other side, they lay on the ground, bruised and panting, but safe for now. Away in the command bridge, Maya kicked the wall in frustration, watching the monitor of Cage 01 with her finger still on the button.

Snake lay in a comfortable but sterile-feeling hospital bed in NERV's unnaturally bright hospital ward, surrounded by beautiful young nurses in white renditions of the familiar NERV uniforms, complete with pin-on hats that bore the half fig leaf symbol. One particularly nice-looking one sat by his side, and perked up when she saw him staring.

"Oh good, you're awake!"

"Yeah, and?"

"Don't be so grumpy, now. The Commander told us that you'd be free to go back to your own quarters as soon as the anesthetic wore off. Are you feeling any pain?"

"I'm feeling something…" He was, and it was a feeling he had never experienced before, though he had heard about it many times. He felt a tingling throughout his body, but in one place in particular… He was interrupted by an odd feeling of being watched, and noticed the young nurse staring at him.

"…I'll go now. When you're ready, your clothes are here by your bed. See you later, stranger…"

"…Right." After a few minutes, Snake was able to get back into his OctoCamo and leave for his quarters. (Just how does one get into that suit?) All the way over, women seemed to giggle and whisper to each other, and men turned away or cracked up in spite of themselves. Snake wondered what their problem was.

"Maybe it's the OctoCamo suit. But why? It covers more than those girls' plugsuits…" Now there was a thought: Rei and Asuka in their plugsuits. Snake was overcome by a crippling sensation, and slumped against the wall of the elevator as it arrived. He was sweating, panting, and on the whole rather odd. He stayed where he was, and marveled. Every time he thought about Rei or Asuka, or Misato, or even Ritsuko, the feeling would get more intense. Just as he felt he could take no more, the elevator stopped abruptly, and let in a single passenger. Misato stepped in, and Snake looked up at her, only to experience another pang of that great new feeling. His eyes traveled up her legs, over her short black dress, her tight-fitting red officer's jacket, her silver cross pendant, her lips, eyes, hair, and back down…

"Are you Ok, Snake?"

"Yeah. I'm fine. Just a little…off balance." He stood up, bracing himself against the wall as the sensation continued.

"Something's the matter, Snake. Come on, you can tell me," she said, approaching slowly.

"The Commander…gave me surgery. It's…a new feeling." Her eyes searched his staggering body up and down, then up slightly, until she found the origin of his problem.

"You've never felt this way before?"

"No. I wasn't made to have desires, or feel these feelings. It would interfere with the mission…"

"Well, I'll teach you, if you want." Misato edged closer, pinning Snake to the wall as the elevator continued its journey.

Ritsuko and Otacon recovered from their ordeal, and stood up in the stark corridor. They brushed themselves off, and Ritsuko walked over to the wall, where a small black disc, almost resembling a camera lens, was set into the metal. She flashed her ID card, and a small hologram appeared, perpendicular to the wall, resembling a full keyboard. Otacon watched from behind her in amazement as her fingers flew over the holographic keys at lightning speed.

"Wow. You're really amazing, Ritsuko."

"Yes, magic fingers. But you knew that, didn't you?" She finished typing, and a small seam appeared in the wall as the hologram flickered off. The seam widened, revealing a small shelf with a white garment on it. She took it out and unfolded it, a fresh white lab coat. The shelf closed once more, and Ritsuko put on the new coat, walking off with Otacon back towards the elevators.

"Let's get you back to your office, Ok?"

"Sure."

Otacon and Ritsuko walked off hand in hand, while Misato taught Snake the meaning of pleasure. Both couples took their time, neither in a hurry to return to Philanthropy's office anytime soon. As they relished in their carnality, Sunny sat dejectedly at her desk, waiting in the dark for something to do.

"Hello? Where did everybody go?"