Still September 3

I've tried every way and which way and nothing is working.

I wonder if Dad is still here or if Mom's kicked him out already. I should go check quietly, because whenever they see me come around they pretend to be two civilized adults who are capable of actually solving their issues without resorting to physical contact. Maybe he'll find a way to make it fit. And by physical contact, I mean Mom throwing a shoebox at him or something. That's happened before.

Nope, he's here. And he's sitting at our dining room table with my Mom. And they're actually talking! Not yelling, not glaring at each other. This is a once in a life time thing here. I don't remember a single moment when they weren't at each other's throats.

I'm definitely not interrupting this. I'll ask him for help later.

[Cue the hold music]

Way to go, Dad. Now the binder fits, but the bag is RIPPED. Right up the side, actually. I don't even... No... It's not even at the seam. How is that even possible?! I can't even use the sewing machine I got for my birthday to try and fix it. My last hope lies in my mother's willingness to take me to the store and buy a new bag...

I tried telling mom about the predicament Dad managed to get me into, and you know what she did? She gently held my face, smiled, looked me deep in the eyes and reminded me that she told me so. Sigh. What am I supposed to do now? I begged her to take me to the store, and she laughed in my face, got up, and went to bed. Well. I thought she loved me. So I guess I'm stuck carrying this stupid bag around tomorrow. And, knowing my mom, at least the rest of the month.

How am I supposed to make a decent first impression on my new teachers and peers carrying around what looks to be a generations old backpack? That would be cool if it actually was vintage, but everyone knows that earthBags just released their limited edition cross body last week.

Well, maybe just me. But still.

I guess it can't be that bad, right? I mean, it definitely gives it character. It makes me look like some sort of bad-ass... Like maybe I fought off a guy who was trying to mug me on the way to school, and he almost stabbed me but missed and sliced my bag and I turned around and beat him to a pulp and dragged his body into an alleyway, New York style.

Or like I have a super hot super buff boyfriend who saved me from my would-be premature death from the top story of my apartment, reaching out at just the last minute in enough time to grab my hand and pull me back, then admitting his heart is completely submerged into a pool of my love before presenting me with a promise ring.

And yes, I am aware that those were two very run-on-ed (runned-on? ran-on? whatever.) sentences. Just let me be.

I wish Drew would save me from my would-be premature death and confess his love to me. My life would be complete. He'd swoop in with his dark, curly hair and push me out of harm's way, grabbing me with his huge hands. Then, he'd stare into me with those dark green eyes, and I'd know that everything would be okay. Then, we'd spend eternity together.

How completely un-feminist of me.

I can't believe I get to see him tomorrow for the first time in three months. Three months! I bet he just got hotter, like everyone else supposedly does over summer. He probably got a lot tanner, too. New York sun does that to people.

I bet that no matter how I change during the summer, he's still going to be in love with Arissa. Eckkkkkkkk. I know he has no idea I exist, and I will never ever initiate conversation with him, but still. I could go the rest of my life without seeing him and Arissa making out in front of the school, the same front of the school I am forced to walk by five days a week... It's depressing, really. And Arissa already hates me, so there's that. I could never compete with her. She's like five-foot-six and totally looks like Kelly Kapowski from Saved by the Bell. You know, the supercute one? And Drew is Zach Morris. And Mario Lopez's character. Basically, whoever has Kelly at a given time. It's just not fair. Every guy likes Kelly Kapowski. Except Elaine's brother, James. He thinks she's overrated. But I think he's just trying to be nice and make me feel like less of a loser. That liar.

But she isn't nice like Kelly. She's mean. All the time. And it's not just to me, either, but everyone who isn't popular like her. And I'm the least popular girl in school. I'm not kidding. Nobody knows me. Last year in Algebra, my only class with Drew, he didn't even know who I was until half the year in. And I know, because when he passed out our bi-monthly math test, he stood in front of the class and asked really loudly "Who is Tah-lia?"

Worst. Moment. Ever. That pretty much defined my social ranking for, I don't know, the rest of my LIFE. Now, he knows me as The Girl who Got an 82 percent on Setting Up Equations quiz.

Hmmm, well, my hair does look different, now. I can completely reinvent myself as anyone I want to be.

Meaning I may have a chance with Drew.

Thank you, my wonderful Brazilians, for your amazing hair products.

But forget vanity. I really should try to get to sleep. I've got a bright day ahead of me, supposedly.

I'm not sure how I'm supposed to end these things... Good night? Works for me.