They stopped near the castle. "So, are these windows really non-transparent? Nobody can look inside the car and see us?", Ianto asked smiling. "No, What do you think? In that case Torchwood is like some kind of secret service. Nothing about aliens or mysterious incidents leaves this car", the Captain replied. "I hope so. I am about to do something one shouldn´t do in public", said the boy in suit. "Oh, I don´t know whether I could allow this since I am your Captain", said the driver with a big smile on his face. "I will take the risk of being fired", Ianto whispered with his lips close to Jack´s left ear.
They left the car and walked to the castle. Jack´s coat fluttered in the wind coming from the Bristol Channel. He looked heroic and sexy, like always, thought Ianto who wore his short black felt coat and had his hands put into the pockets as he tried to catch up with his enthusiastic partner. At the entrance Jack paid the fee and they walked into the main yard which was surrounded by all the buildings of the castle. Frist they visited the Banquet Hall. The furniture was rebuilt the way it may have looked like in the middle ages: wooden tables and chairs, some flags on the ceiling, swords on the walls and big windows. Nobody else was in the room. "Must have been cold in here with these big windows without glass in them", Ianto remarked. "Yeah, medieval people have been quite stupid", Jack joked. "Just imagine what this room had looked like back then: The King and Queen sitting here on these small wooden thrones and all the knights sitting around them on small chairs. They all using their hands to eat, well, there was no cutlery. Servants reaching the food that might have looked very disgusting", Ianto tried to describe a scene. "Well, I have seen worse things in my life. Imagine a bunch of tentacled aliens who eat another kind of fishlike aliens with their tentacles…" "Oh fy duw, stop it! Sometimes the things you saw are really interesting but other times they are just disgusting!", the Welsh man said. "Okay. But there is a really funny story about an incident that happened when John and I worked for the time agency", Jack mumbled while walking around the tables. "You know that I don´t like John. He is so …", moaned Ianto. "I know he is more dire than the dire straits. Bad joke, I know." Ianto narrowed his eyes, looked at Jack and started laughing. "We had a mission: There was a green alien which accidently appeared here on earth. Some Raxacoricofallapatorians thought it would be really funny to confront humans with this reptile-like monster. You can imagine that the medieval people only once saw this shy animal and started to invent stories about it. They called it a dragon. And maybe that´s where all the dragon stories came from. It was just a joke by an alien race who really likes to mock humans", Jack explained. "You´re joking!" "No, or did you believe in dragons?", Jack defended himself. "I thought they were just an invention", Ianto replied. "Every legend has a true part. So, the time-agency wanted us to help the earth to get rid of the threat. Some brave humans already tried to kill the "dragon" but without success. John and I had been sent to the North of England to defeat the dragon. To assimilate we both had to wear armour to look like knights", Jack continued. "I guess you both looked quite stupid." "Of course we did. Anyway all the ladies wanted us. So we tried to find the "dragon". It had hidden in a cave near Carlisle. It was easy sending it back to Raxacoricofallapatorius. All the trouble started after we had killed the "dragon". We have been the heroes and Richard III. invited us to dine with him at Carlisle Castle. During the dinner Richard offered us to be his life guards. When we declined he offered us the most beautiful ladies of his kingdom. We also declined this gracious offer because we wanted to leave at night. After dinner we had to join the King in his library and had to play some kind of stupid card game. We drank some wine and amused ourselves quite well. Later we asked for a room for the both of us. The King himself led us to this room. We stepped into the room and Richard followed us, closed the door and locked it. Then he came near us and whispered: "I know what you are." John and I were scared because we assumed the King to be a Slitheen due to his smell. You know if Slitheen disguise as human they fart a lot. We pulled out our guns and wanted to shot Richard III. The King got frightened and produced a high pitched shout. "You´re scared?", John asked. "Bien sûr", the King cried. "You are not a Slitheen?", I asked. "No, I am the King of England" "Well alright", we said unison and put back our guns. We mistook the King´s smell for the smell of a Slitheen. But in the Middle Ages all the people stank like that", Jack laughed. "You mean you almost killed the King because he smelled like hell?", Ianto asked and started laughing. "Yes, we were just careful. That´s not the end of the story. John wanted to know what the King thought we were since we mistook him for an alien. "You are pretty men with a good taste, I assume", they King told us meekly. We were pleased. "So you would be pleased if we may have some fun together tonight?", the King asked. John and I looked at each other then smirked. "Yes", said I and that´s how the story ended. The defeaters of the dragon didn´t get the girl, instead they got the King", Jack smiled.