Thank you for the lovely reviews! Laura - I have written the final chapter and I'm working my way up to that so it definitely will get finished. The final chapter is possibly my favourite thing I've ever written.
She inhaled deeply as the cold air hit her. Nick's car was still parked outside. She saw him look up as the door opened and the light escaped. He started the engine as she approached the car.
"No, Nick, wait!" She hurried over to the now moving car and jumped in the passenger seat.
"Zoe, what are you doing? You should be in there fighting for your marriage."
"But I'm out here fighting for you. Doesn't that tell you something?"
"I'm sorry Zo, I never should have come back here. You have a happy life and I'm trampling all over it."
"Well you're back now and Max isn't going to talk to me tonight anyway."
"No Zoe! Go back in there, sleep on the couch or in the spare room but be there when Max wakes up, tell him you were drunk and it was all me. Tell him how sorry you are for letting me do that and when you both come in to work in the morning I will be long gone."
The tears began to spill from Zoe's eyes now. She knew that he was trying to do the responsible thing because he loved her but it cut through.
"Nick..." she inhaled noisily as his name caught in her throat. "I need you. Please don't do this."
He leant across the car and pushed the passenger door open. "Goodnight Dr Hanna."
Slowly she lifted herself out of the car and headed back towards the door. There was no point in arguing with him when he had made up his mind like this. She turned and watched as he drove away in to the night.
"I thought you'd gone." Max was standing by the door as she re-entered. She jumped having expected him to be stewing upstairs.
"No, Nick wanted to apologise and explain. I was drunk Max, I know I should have stopped it but it all happened so fast."
"I told you he was trouble Zo. I just took one look at him and knew that he was up to no good."
"I know, I should have listened to you." She felt so guilty lying to him but the truth would hurt him even more and Nick was a man of his word. She knew that she'd said goodbye to him.
"Are you coming to bed?"
"I thought I'd take the couch."
"Don't be silly, I'm sorry if I scared you earlier. I just couldn't believe that guy, he knew you were married, took you for dinner, got you drunk and then tried it on."
As they lay in bed, she listened to him sleeping beside her. The guilt of what she had done washed over her but she still couldn't get thoughts of Nick out of her head. The way her body tingled when she touched her again after so long, the ache in her chest as he drove off and the desperate urge she fought to run after him, to beg him not to leave her. Eventually she drifted off in to a restless sleep, her alarm waking her in what felt like seconds since she'd eventually nodded off.
Monday 23rd December 2015
"Zoe, hurry up, you're going to be late."
Zoe rushed out of their bedroom, finally, gesturing for Max to zip up her dress. He did as she'd asked and placed a gentle kiss on the back of her neck.
"I love you" he whispered softly against her skin.
The guilt made her stomach ache again as he walked off to finish getting ready. She was surprised that he hadn't been angrier with her but he seemed to be projecting all of his anger on to Nick, truly blaming him for the whole incident. In a way that made her even more guilty but it was what Nick had asked her to do, for the best.
"Ready missus?" Max asked as they walked across the car park hand in hand. She leant over and kissed him on the cheek.
"As I'll ever be" was her reply. They stopped to have a cigarette by the front door and to their displeasure they noticed a familiar car parked outside. Nick Jordan's car to be exact. Zoe could see the agitation rise in Max from the mere sight of the car.
"Max, please let's just keep out of Nick's way today. He's only here on a temporary basis and he will be gone before we know it." She tried to reassure Max of this meanwhile her heart was racing in anticipation of seeing Nick again. She had her own reasons to be angry with him after their final conversation last night but the desire to see him and be near him overrode any anger.
"I just don't understand why he's still here. You told him you're with me now and it shouldn't have happened when you went outside and he apologised for his behaviour. Why would he hang around after that?"
Zoe, concentrating very hard on her cigarette and looking anywhere but Max's face murmured in agreement. "Right, I need to get to work Max. Catch you in a bit and please keep your head down." She pecked him on the cheek and called back "Love you!" as an afterthought.
"Mrs Walker, this is Bruce, he fell off a bike on to a pavement, he was wearing a helmet, didn't hit his head but we are a bit worried about his ankle and hand. He's been complaining about pain in his left wrist but also loss of sensation in his hand."
"Great, thanks Iain. Cubicle 3 please!"
"Bruce, I'm Zoe, I'm a consultant here. Can you pop up on to the bed for me? I'll be sending you for an x-ray ASAP for your wrist but I just want to give you a quick check over first. Do you have pain anywhere else?"
"No Doc, I'm fine, just fell off my bike put my arm out to save myself."
"Ok, that's fine. No dizziness or anything before the fall?" she asked as she had a quick listen to his chest.
"No, I think the tyre hit a little bit of gravel or something."
"Right, I'll just get a porter to take you up to X-ray and a nurse will sort you out with some pain relief."
"Max!" she called on seeing him lurking around the nurses station.
"Yes, Mrs Walker!" he responded flirting a little.
"Max, stop it, I have a patient needing a trip to x-ray, cubicle 3."
"Hmmph I remember when you were fun" he huffed with a cheeky smile on his face.
She couldn't help but smile after him but she was still looking behind her, waiting for Nick to walk in. She knew he was here in the building and hoping to get a difficult case to take her mind off it.
"Mr Jordan..." Zoe overheard the start of a conversation outside the cubicle and instantly jumped.
"Everything alright?" the patient asked.
"Eh, yeah, sorry. I just thought I'd seen a wasp."
The patient was looking at her like she was mad so she excused herself. Instantly Nick looked up and their eyes met across the ED. He turned on his heels and quickly walked away. Hurrying after him she shouted "I thought you'd gone?!"
"Zoe, not here ok. Your office?"
They headed inside and shut the door behind them. Zoe quickly closed the blinds. "So I thought you were going?"
"I came in and told Connie but she asked me to finish a couple of things just to tie up loose ends before I head off."
"What did you tell her?"
"The truth – that I'm not needed here and that coming back was a mistake. Look Zoe, I will always care about you and that's why I have to leave. You're happy. Your life is here. With Max."
"Nick, I don't know what to say. Since you got back I haven't been able to get you out my head."
"I know and I'm sorry. I should never have come here. Once I'm gone I'll fade from memory again and you will go back to normal."
"Nick..." She stepped forward and gently put her hand on his cheek. She could feel the start of stubble developing and she imagined how it would feel against the top of her lip. She leant in and their lips brushed against each others. The chemistry between them was making both of their hearts race.
"Zoe, we shouldn't." His voice was barely a whisper now as he fought the urge to kiss her. He could feel her breath against his face and could taste her. She slowly licked her lips, teasing him and daring him to kiss her. She stepped back and smiled as he stepped towards her again, unable to resist her any longer he pressed her against the wall and kissed her passionately.
"Wow that was incredible! I'd forgotten just how good you are." He leant over and zipped her dress back up.
"I hadn't forgotten how good you are." There was a serious tone to her voice. "What are we going to do Nick?"
"Well that's up to you but I don't want an affair and I still want to get out of Holby."
"Take me with you?!"