Sorry I didn't update for a while my dog died and the school ended so I had people to see and just everything happened all at once so sorry.

Reviews-

Astrozerk- im very glad you like it, sorry for the wait

Killer –strawberry- Thanks glad you like it I try my hardest

Lil-princess-of-death- Sorry for it taking so long I hope you like it

Rainbowpixie2112- thank I think, glad you like it sorry for the wait

Fluffybunny- Sorry for the wait glad you like it

CrazyDei-chanfangirl- sorry for the wait I hope it's worth it

Perilouslips- thanks glad you like it

Braeton petit- I know I need to work on grammer, thanks anyways glad you like it.

o0Dreamer0o- thank you for reviewing glad you like it.

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I didn't know, I never knew.

How was I supposed to know anything?

It wasn't my fault.

I don't get it.

Am I not suppose to?

Kabuto told me it wasn't my burden, he was right… I trust.

Since the children were 'blessed', I shouldered all the blame.

It wasn't my fault… really… it was their fault they had me, it was their fault I turned out the way I did.

And it's their fault i'm crushing over the only person that has ever shown me genuine compassion.

But then again I could never clearly remember my past it wasn't described either.

I remember seeing western coast, then I saw the hospital, I nursed the shoreline like a wound.

I brung my knees up and cradle my head on my knees until Kabuto came strolling in with a big goofy grin he pushed his glasses up and asked "Are you ready?"

I sighed and slipped off the bed and stood by him until he walked as I followed him like a good lap dog.

We sat there at 9am in a small diner looking at a menu trying to find something for breakfast.

Kabuto had a cup of coffee and pancakes I had a vanilla milkshake.

After a bite of pancake and a sip of coffee he dabbed the corner of his mouth and smiled at me "You know Sakura, the other doctors and I are thinking that maybe it'd do you some good to allow visitors over again, what would you think about that?"

I tighten my clench on the body of the glass, "Why would you want to do that, do you really think it'd help me?"

Kabuto pushed his glasses up, a bad habit he does, "By this time we're not sure, we're not sure of anything unless you tell us what you feel, why you feel this way, and how do you think you could secure it."

I sighed through my nose, they had a degree why can't they discover bits and pieces out; the first year I went into the sanatorium they called it PMS.

Kabuto reached over the table and patted my fingers wrapped around the glass awkwardly and brung his hand back to his side quickly after the first three pats and said "We'll just see how it all goes, you never know maybe its just what you need."

He smiled again and took another sip of his Luke-warm coffee.

Everything was blue

The dark blue inky night sky

The blue ghostly moon sending his light as a warning for the sin that is I

The blue streets

And the dark blue shadows of the in-betweens

The rubbery blue feeling of my skin as the slid over the bridge's railings

The faint blue outline of the extension cord wrapped around my neck and around the streetlight's pole.

My feet rubbed softly against the bumpy cement before slipping off completely

Different shades of blue swam past my eyes like a sliding picture show

Until it become a solid blue

Then I felt it

The searing hot red pain

Its flames spread like the plague melting the blue

Until everything became enraged with its flames

Then everything went black…

An electronic beep was heard indicating the door was opening; I sat up and watched as the nurse stepped aside and let the devil come in to chat.

He smiled a great big fake smile and sat down across from me, he opened his mouth but closed it again.

He smiled softly again and laid his hand on my knee and said softly "Its nice to see your doing alright."

I move my legs to sit Indian style forcefully moving his hand off of me, "Yes, I'm doing just GREAT"

He sighed softly letting his counterfeit smile slide off his face, "If it makes you less sad, we'll start talking again, you can tell me how vile I already know that I am. But I know we can mend these mistakes and start anew."

I feel heavy hearted "You say you want a solution, but you just want to be missed and I'm the last one to turn to don't think I can ever forgive you, I can only hope as time goes on I can forget you."

He stares at me in shock "We can start a new life…"

I gripped my sheets " A brand new day in a life I hate, a heart that's harder than stone, it'll be as cold as a tomb."

He stood up giving up before he opened the door he looked back at me "I hope you find out whom you are, I already know what I am."

I turned my head; I don't want to talk to him anymore.

I heard the beep sound again the door opened, and his footsteps echoed and filled the hollow feeling in my chest even after the door slammed shut, I could still hear it, the first day in 10 years since I saw him, the first day we actually had a two-sided conversation, the first time we had a discussion where both got hurt, the last day I'll ever see him, the last time I wouldn't regret never keeping in-contact with the last person I had to tighten around for a past.

The last time I'll ever see my own flesh and bone, my own father and I were so disgusted with each other it feels like acid just talking, but it feels like ice when we're apart; I never did hate him, he never did hurt me bad enough.

I felt it in the pit of my stomach the burning in my throat, the skin on my nose tightened.

I was crying…

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So what'd you think? I know its short but at least I updated

Please review or have the consequences of waiting longer for an update

Sam