Lesson 3: A Not so Bad Student Ed

Edd got off the bus with a sigh. Such a busy day. The homework itself wasn't a problem, he knew more than half the material already, and it was Eddy. This year he seemed more…scheming than usual. It wasn't like him. What disturbed him even more was how he was able to predict how bad Eddy could get, and it frightened him. Edd pushed the thoughts out of his head and walked up to the front door. As usual, his parents were unable to return home till much later and left the deadbolt off so he could get in. And as usual, they left his dinner in its semi-warm state in the oven. Edd gagged when he smelled it. Whatever it was, he dumped it down the garbage disposal and prepared something else for himself as he always did. The left over sweetbread from that cultural center he had visited during the weekend was quite filling, and as soon as he finished got started on his homework, finishing it at exactly seven as he always did during the week. With three hours to spare before he had to go to bed, he went upstairs to see how his friends were doing. Friends, Ed was somewhat like a friend but Eddy was getting very distant, and was becoming more difficult to get along with. His thought was interrupted when he heard a tapping on his window. A prowler?

Edd crept slowly to his living room window and he heard the tapping again like pebbles hitting the glass. He creped up and gently lifted the curtain just to peek. He saw Onizuka chucking pebbles at his window, and was about ready to hurl a brick when Edd threw open the curtain. "Mr. Onizuka, what in blazes are you doing?!" he hissed as loudly as he could whisper.

Onizuka was out of his formal clothes, and was wearing white pants with a matching jacket, the sleeves too long for his arms. Underneath he had a simple white undershirt. Small flakes of ash from his cigarette clung to his clothes here and there.

"Hey Ben!" he called out cheerfully.

"It's Edd."

"That's what I said. I need a little help. I got blackmailed by a student, so I gotta bring some money over tonight. And I need your help." Onizuka said nonchalantly, taking a long drag from his cigarette.

"Blackmailed?! Help?!" Edd blurted out, shocked. "But what can I do?! I certainly can't pay it. Why do you need me?"

"Cause I don't know anyone else well enough to be talkin' to them. Now are you gonna help or not?"

Edd shifted uneasily, looking away from Onizuka. "Well, I'm not very sure I can…"

"(What?! Why?!) I helped you to school yesterday, it's the least you can do! Come on dammit! I'm dying here!" he pleaded, a pitiful droop on his face.

"Okay okay, if you'll just be quiet." Edd hushed, putting a finger to his lips for effect. "But like I said, I don't know how I can help."

"Oh that's easy!" Onizuka smiled. He reached down and iped open a dufflebag that wass next to his feet. Pulling out a suit that matched his except in came with a massive red bandanna to cover the mouth, he held it up with a wide smile on his face. "Just put this on and I'll tell ya what to do…"

……

"(Why do you have to be like that!? I'm trying to study dammit and then this happens!)"

"(Calm down, it's your father! He's too old for this sort of work anymore, why do you think he's hospitalized?!)"

"(Don't tell me to calm down you arrogant bitch! I'm the one suffering through all this while you enjoy a nice little sheltered life!)"
"(That was uncalled for! How can you say that?! Why do you think you are in school anyway? Huh? Your father pays for everything! He has to take two jobs to support you, and all you ever do is whine and moan!)"

"(Don't talk that way to your brother you little rat! You should be grateful he even decided to break from his studies to see his father!)"

They thought he couldn't understand them but he did. He always wanted to know what they were saying and strove to learn both Chinese and Japanese. It was tough, but by Junior High, he knew enough of both languages and more. And Skip regretted ever knowing it. His grandfather had another stroke yesterday, and it was a real touch-and-go situation. Worried, he and his mother went to see how he was doing. Unfortunately Jiu Jiu and Po Po were there as well. He was still not sure why they always wanted to be referred by their Chinese position and not Japanese. Maybe it was to make Gung Gung happy. Especially now with him hospitalized. At first it was an uncomfortable conversation. How he was doing now, was he stable, the usual things. But then his uncle had to open his big fat mouth. The selfish pig. They all told him that's just how Japanese are when talking to each other. They just said things loudly. But he knew better, he knew the fighting and the arguments.

Skip's father came and picked him up while his mother continued bickering with her relatives. His father was no better. Always talking to his relatives in German, Skip tried to learn it as well so as to keep up. It came as another blow when he learned what they were talking about most of the time. He sighed as his father continued to argue with one of his brothers over the phone.

"(I couldn't care less you asshole! The contract is already signed. I am deeded to 2nd street, you still get 4th! Well maybe if you spent more renovating instead of trying to dig up dirt on me, maybe it would be just as good as 2nd. Well that's your problem Otto, not mine, so stop dragging me into this crap! Our parents have mad up their minds and noting you do will sway them.)"

Skip sighed as he stared out the window. He checked his watch. 8:30. Another half hour and he would be way from it all.

……

I figured he wouldn't come. Skip thought. Excusing himself for a walk, he left for Peach Creek /Elementary bleachers. Maybe he demanded too much. Maybe he just wussed out. Well. If all fails, just try again. Maybe that one annoying teacher, the one that got a new Cresta. What was his name again?

That noise was grating at his nerves. When he turned his attention away from other potential targets, he realized that was the sound of a motorcycle. Several. At least three. He turned and saw several motorcycles tearing up the field the custodian so lovingly tended to every day. They circled him for about a minute until one drove up towards him. It was difficult with the light shining directly into his face, but he could vaguely make out the blonde hair and the outline of a man. "Well what do we have here?" he heard the man say.

"Who the hell are you?" Skip replied, trying to keep up a strong front. "Quite a reception. This some prank by the seniors?"

"He's a nice one. Can we rip him up now boss?" said a somewhat lanky looking biker, sitting upright in a dinky looking motorbike, his clothes hanging loosely, and a large red cloth covering his face.

"Come here kid. I'm taking you for a ride…" the leader growled as he lunged at Skip and grabbed him by the collar. Skip was too shocked to even react as he was tied to the end of a bike and was dragged off, the small gang tailing not too far behind.

Onizuka appeared from behind the bleachers, alongside Edd. "Dammit, too late."

……

Fisherman's Wharf can get quiet real fast after eight. But tonight it was filled with the laughter of men and the revving of motorcycles. The leader, known as Silder, was feeling real good about himself. He was asserting his authority, something he loved to do, and when that brat decided to give him some lip, he made sure the kid would regret every moment of it. With a signal, a crane lifted out of the dank water. Out came Skip, gasping for air, covered in rank seaweed, saltwater dripping off his clothes, and tied tightly to the cable. "Ready to say sorry kid?" Skip was silent. "You even listening to me?" and Silder slugged Skip in the stomach, knocking the air out of him.

"You bastard." He chocked, before receiving another fist to the face.

"All you had to do was say your sorry and lick my boots clean. That was all." Silder said, eying his mud-caked boots. "But I guess I still haven't reached you.". He gestured to have the cable drop. Nothing happened. He gestured a little more hastily but no response. "What the hell's wrong with you idiots?! I'm telling you to...who the hell are you?!" Silder exclaimed seeing a tall blonde man dropping the unconscious crane operator. "Huh?" the man said, he then quickly re-asserted himself and struck a pose.

"Hailing all the way from Ja-er… A land far away! I am Onizuka! 22 years old, and aiming to be the best teacher in the world! Nice to meet you!" he sneered, pursing his lips together. Skip looked up and saw his teacher, wearing ony a pair of white pants, striking a ridiculous pose. What the hell is he doing here?

"Finally you showed up. Hurry up, this maniac's gonna drown me!" Skip yelled.

"What? Who're you supposed to be?" Onizuka asked, a look of confusion written across his face.

"What the hell are you talking about?! You're my teacher! Get me off this thing you idiot!" Skip yelled, hysterical that Onizuka could act that way in such a serious situation.

"Mmm, nope, can't recall having you as a student." Onizuka said, idly shaking his head, digging a pinky into his ear and curling his upper lip to give him a nonchalant appearance.

"Dammit. How can you do this? You're a teacher! Just a teacher! I can easily have your license removed now you bastard!" Skip replied

"So now I'm a teacher huh?" Onizuka said slightly more serious, a fresh lit cigarette hanging loosely from the side of his mouth. He puffed twice before continuing. "So what was all that talk from before hmm? I've seen your kind a hundred times before, I get no respect from you, but when your safety's on the line, you start to fall on that old excuse. Why should I help you you little coward?"

"Because I'll…" he hesitated. "I'll give you the pictures, like nothing ever happened. I'm sorry alright? Please get me down?" Skip asked, pleadingly, all the fight drained out of him.

"Get outta here asshole!" yelled Silder, sneaking up on Onizuka during the last argument. He didn't even manage to land a hit on Onizuka before he was promptly countered and thrown off the pier and into the ocean.

"Don't interrupt." Was all he said.

"Get me off dammit, he'll be back!"

"Fine, for a grown kid you can be a whiny little thing. And he came down the ladder. Just as he landed, the remainder of Silder's gang circled him.

"The hell you think your doing?" one asked.

Onizuka took one more puff from his cigarette, before donning a bandanna, and assuming a fighting stance. "A teacher looks out for all his students!" he yelled, delivering a powerful punch to one. "No matter how much they don't deserve it!" Skip flinched. "A teacher will always show his students the right path in life, and in all education!" Onizuka continued. Two grabbed him by his arms while a giant of a man strode up to him. "You little punk! You think you're tough! You think you're a tough guy?" Onizuka shifted his weight and threw one of his captors loose and delivered a bone-jarring punch to the other. The giant snarled and swung his massive fists.

"SHORYUKEN!" Onizuka cried, giving the man a massive uppercut. "No, I'm a teacher. A friggin teacher. I've been saying that this whole time. I mean weren't you even listening? (How stupid can you get?)" he turned to Skip, who was still dangling from the cable, refusing to look at Onizuka. "Well then?"

"Well what?" Onizuka asked.

"Are you gonna get me down before I die of pneumonia?"

"No."
Skip turned to him, shocked. "What?! Why?! Dammit I apologized, you want me to say it again? I'm sorry! I'm sorry for being such an asshole, I'm sorry about back flushing you out of the toilet stall this afternoon, I'm sorry for blackmailing you, I'm sorry for all that okay?" he pleaded, tears slowly streaming down his face. "You wanted to see me beaten up? Here ya go! Just please get me down."

"No."

"Why?! I was serious! WHY WON"T YOU LET ME DOWN?!" Skip faced Onizuka now, terrified, defeated, and outraged all at once.

"Cause I dunno how to work a crane." Onizuka replied, scratching his head. "I'm not getting you down, Edd over there is. Edd?"

"I got it Mr. Onizuka sir." Edd replied from the crane's operating station. He was dressed to look exactly like one of the bikers, so he fit right in, albeit a bit shorter than the others. Skip stared slack-jawed, switching between Edd and Onizuka. Then he did something he hadn't done for years. He laughed. Despite being tied to a cable, drenched in seaweed and saltwater, and beaten within an inch of his life, he laughed.

……

"(So that's it really. I've been wanting that money to make all these problems go away.)"

"(Is that so?)"

Skip was covered in Onizuka's spare jacket, but was still shivering. All Edd could do was stare in confusion as the two drolled on in Japanese.

"(Yeah. Gung Gung was in really bad shape whenever I saw him, and though I don't really know him, I know he doesn't deserve what he's going through. It's strange isn't it? He so believed in Karmic retribution but all it did was spit him in the face. All his life he's been tortured by my grandmother, and to the point where you work double jobs as a senior librarian and fry cook, jut to support the tuition of an ungrateful son. Then he up and gets an ulcer, it grows into colon cancer, and now he can't even use the bathroom, and has to have a tube suck the crap straight out of his intestines.)" Skip's eyes moistened slightly, but he disguised it, cursing the salty air burning his eyes.

Onizuka said nothing, and got up. "(Selfish. Just tell them already and be done with it.)"

"(What?)"

"(It won't change much, but it'll at least get them to thinking. If they know you understand them , it should put something on their minds other than all that stupid arguing. Maybe give your grandfather some peace. At this point, I can tell he needs rest, and he ain't gonna get it if his relatives are bickering over him at the top of their lungs.)"

"(But…they get scary when they're mad. Especially when they're mad at me.)"

"(They'll always get mad at you for something. Just as they will be proud of you for others. But if you really want to help you grandfather, you're just gonna have to swallow your pride, and so on and so on. I'm not good with these long pep talks.)" Onizuka finished the last bit with a shrug, and lit another cigarette. Skip looked at him for a moment then shook his head.

"(Dumbass…)"

"(What was that?)"

"(Just thanking you in Chinese.)"

"(Why Chinese?)"

"(Uh…just because.) Don't you think we should be leaving now? It's getting late, and even my parents will be home soon."

"Probably. It is like midnight now."

"And before I forget." Skip reached into his pocket and pulled out a memory stick. "Here ya go."

Onizuka smiled. "Just erase it. I'll trust ya to do that. Instead of wasting a crapload of money by giving that to me. Just use it to save your report you owe me next week okay?"

Skip was surprised. Not the answer he was expecting. He shrugged and put the memory stick back in his pocket. "As you say…Mr. Onizuka.", he replied with a smile.

The three walked off the pier and back to Onizuka's bike. "You know I just realized, I dunno where you live." Onizuka said.