Diclaimer shit ain't mine
Reviewers.
Kosher ass jew: Please add moar!
I love this! Yes i am a great supporter of kyle's byootipul ass.
There are some grammatical errors but whatevs
R: lol thanks for the review.
kay-kw33n I like Stan, just not Kyle.
R: trying to break all these overly perfect views on relatioships.
AmutoisLove omfg as funny as this is, Stan.. you idiot! Why would you joke about marriage! That's like the most important thing for a.. an Uke! Dx awww.. A Thousand Years by Christina Perri, dude that is just too -sniffles- sweet T_T ahh, Stan being a douche now Kyles being a.. princess? Haha xD Well it's payback, so it's all good, i think.. xD Nice chapter, I like the switch in POV! C:
R: I udae, thanks for the review and I love a thousand years. Thanks for the review
AthenaInAvalon Jokes about marriage? Do not do this, Stan u.u I loved it!
R: thank you for your review
TRYING TIMES
Chapter 3
Stan POV
1. We never fight.
I snapped.
Why the hell did he want to keep working after I had gotten an awesome job!
Seriously I just got on the number one football team in southpark, I'll make a shit load of money and he wants to still use his stupid degree!
"Dude you cannot be serious, I'll pay you to stay safe at home." I said from his side, I always worried about him. He was so small and skinny, anyone could hurt him and take him away from me.
"Fuck you, I didn't work my ass off to be a trophy wife!" Kyle snapped as he sat up, his cheeks red and face squeezed up. I knew he was pissed but I had to protect him.
"But anyone could hurt you" I bit my lips as he rolled his eyes and got off the bed giving me a good view of his ass. I couldn't believe I hit that every night. I had to be the luckiest guy in the damn world.
"I am going to take a shower and when I come back you will stop sprouting crap" he said before walking to the bathroom and slamming the door.
Kyle was fragile, he looked like he would break if you held him wrong. Why can't he see that? I need to protect him from the damn world.
I mean what the hell do we need all the money we'll both make for, not as if Kyle will shit out a kid for me. He needs to listen to me, I'll buy him anything he wants. I just need him to stay home.
I sighed and stared at the door, a lot of people give up job for kids. I sighed, I didn't want kids but I sure as hell will adopt one if it means Kyle will stay home.
Kyle came back after his shower, the water had darkened his hair to black, it stuck to his face. His nipples were hard and I just wanted to bang him again.
2. Kyle and I are always honest with each other.
"So how was it?" Kyle asked, I bit my bottom lip. His mom and dad had tried to be civil by taking me out to dinner but dammit I still hated them.
"Good, your dad has quite the unique sense of humour" I added as I took off my shoes and sat on the bed, Kyle sat beside me. "I'd be nice to see them more often"
"I am so happy you feel that way we are having lunch with them every sunday" he smiled at me.
"Wait, what? No shitting way dude." I paused realising what I had said. Kyle had his glare fixed on me, his lips thinned in anger. "What I meant to say is Sunday we usually fuck after I come back from church, why mess up a good thing?"
"You liar you just don't like my parents!" He snapped. Well no shit, his mother wanted me to have part of my dick cut off, His dad think I should start learning hebrew. When kyle spoke it, it was sexy. That didn't mean I want to learn it!
"Kyle I have never lied to yo-" I began but he growled standing up.
"You lie all the damn time, 'just the tip kyle' and suddenly I have more of your penis in me than I do on a normal day" he glared at me.
"Like you don't lie? How about the time you faked that orgasm? Or the whole tricking me thing you did in the last chapter" I replied. Shit! Wait did this mean no sex?
"I am going to sleep in Red's room you d-bag!" He snapped.
3. Kyle and I have sex
"No for fuck's sake" Kyle snapped. it was that time of the month when he refused me sex.
"Kyle stop being a girl and let me fuck you" I sighed as he sat up and stared at me with huge angry green eyes.
"We just did it yesterday and I am not in the mood" he replied before standing up and leaving the room with his pillow and blankets. Was it a crime to want to bang his ass?
I stood up nude and hard. Kyle frowned at me, "Come on Kyle, I have a boner"
"That reminds me when will you pop the question" Kyle asked. I wasn't ready for marriage, we just graduated dammit. "And you are suddenly flaccid at the thought of marrying me"
"No dammit, I want to but we-" I began but he just crossed his hand over his chest and struck the 'fuck off' pose.
"You are such an ass" he said.
"Kyle I love you, I ju-" he rolled his eyes and walked out slamming the door as he left. Dammit!
4. Kyle is too beautiful.
I glared at a guy who stared at Kyle's ass as he tried to pick a tub of ice cream from the fridge. I growled and the guy sped up. Didn't the prick understand the term 'mine'?
Kyle sighed as he put the ice cream tub in the basket I was carrying. "That was cold, see" he touched my nipple. It hardened immediately and he smirked. How the fuck did he even find it under my hoody?
He moved away before I could retaliate, I sighed as I watched his ass. I should probably stop before I pop a boner.
"Do you want Vegan again tonight?" He asked. I bit my lip and shook my head, he sighed. "What do you want?"
"Wow did you see that ass?!" I turned to see some highschool boys staring at my fucking wife. I glared at them moving so close to Kyle that his ass was on touching my clothed dick.
"Dude what the fuck are you doing?" Kyle snapped spinning and jumping away from me. I ignored Kyle in anger.
He glared at me before huffing and moving away. He was more attention drawing more attention to himself.
"Kyle" I said, he paused tilting his head to the side. "I love you" he smiled at me wrapping his arms around me.
"I love you too"
5. Kyle and I always agree on everything.
"Bullshit" I said. "I mean fuck it they could have both stayed on the ice berg." I rolled my eyes.
"No it isn't and it would have sunk" Kyle snapped.
"The girl is selfish" I added.
"No she fucking isn't" Kyle looked pissed, he already had tears in his eyes from this shit movie.
"I mean seriously even if they both survived that bitch won't stay with him and they bearly knew each other why would I die for some girl" I added.
"So if it was me and you, you won't have let me stay on the ice?" Kyle asked. I could tell it would lead to me sleeping on the couch if I didn't answer right.
"I would save you Kyle but think logically would you want me to die too shouldn't we both die together as lovers?" As selfish as it was if I was dying unless Kyle would swear himself to God I would like him dead too. No one should touch him and I would fuck up anyone that did.
"You ass" Kyle snapped. Now I don't even get why he's mad.
"What? but its true. If I save you, you have to become a none, the only man you should ever know is the lord" I added.
"Dude!" Kyle snapped.
6. Kyle always gets what he wants.
"I am at work kyle" Stan sighed as he shut his phone and hung up. He called back and I picked up.
"You just hung up on me!"
"No, kyle dammit. I can't leave practise to get you kfc" I sighed as the other end became silent.
"Fine"
There was nothing that scared me more than 'fine'.
He hung up.
XXX
A week Later XXX
I was out shopping with Kyle when I passed by a magazine rack, there was this redhead wearing nothing but covered simply by a white clothe, it covered his lower regions and his hand crossed his chest hiding his ni-
Wait.
It was Kyle.
What the fuck?
Kyle in the picture looked like the embodiment of 'sex' Stan felt the urge to masturbate right there because of the cover.
Kyle walked back to where I was, "What is the hold up?" He rose a brow at my horrified expression.
I rose the mag to his face, he shrugged. "He bought me KFC"
"So you felt it okay to do a nude shoot for him" I asked. Kyle growled at me, he pullednthe mag from my hand.
"I wasn't nude you dimwit and nothing is showing" he pushed the mag to my face and I glared at it before pushing it away.
"You have absolutely no respect for me, you don't see me-" I began he cut me off.
"You posed in the football magazine shirtless with pants hanging low Stan, the girls in the saloon were drippingnrape juices because of your picture, hypocrite" he snapped.
7. Breaking up but making up.
"Kyle shit come on, we broke up for two months and you changed the locks." I knocked on the door. Dammit, I was sorry we broke up but the thought of millions of guys masturbating to Kyle picture irked me.
"Holy shit dude, its too early to bang on my damn door" a man with brown hair stood there, probably my height and well endowed from what I could see, he had green eyes and smirked at me as he stepped aside.
"Was Kyle cheating on me? We only broke up a damn week and now, shit. Kyle couldn't leave me, I loved him." I raced to the room to see red on the bed and kyle not in sight.
"What do you want?" She snapped. She laid on the bed nude, ew.
"Kyle" I growled.
"Didn't you dump him? I set him up on a date to get him laid" she smiled.
"You what!" I never felt such a great urge to hit a woman before.
"Don't worry he'll forget about you soon enough" she laughed it up. "Besides didn't you date Wendy for a month" my heart stopped, Kyle knew about that.
"Fuck were is Kyle you bitch"
XXX
Kyle sighed as the man kissed his neck, well Stan had dumped him and called him a spoilt whore, might as well coin in the name right? The bastard blocked Kyle on social media and wrote single on facebook.
He even fucked Wendy, not thta Kyle was voyeur but he tailed Stan on one of his dates and found the bastard in a hotel meeting Wendy.
The guy pushed Kyle to his back and started undoing his pants. He pulled down Kyle's pants and boxers. He flipped kyle over, he had never not done it in the missionary position.
Kyle groaned as the man roughly slammed into him, it was really good sex.
Kyle and laid back and sighed when it ws over.
8. Friends
3 months
"Just be happy, Kyle won't boss you around anymore." Kenny smiled. "I have seen him with Jason for two months now and he looks happy, if he loved you he wouldn't have moved on so quickly"
Stan banged his head on the table. "I want to die, is there a point to living?"
"Kyle was a hoe anyway" Kenny said.
"No he wasn't, I fucked up and this time Kyle didn't let me fix the mess" I sighed.
"You did treat him like shit for a month and a half, Kyle may be a bitch but you were just cruel to him. Blocking him, dating Wendy and fuckimg her. Now the anger is gone and you have no one." Kenmy sighed.
"Did you hear, Jason's going to propose to Kyle" My eyes turned to a group of girls that hung around Jason's sister.
"Dude, he can't just marry the love of my life!"