A/N: So, in this we continue with Percy's rather odd school life. Also, I don't own any of the other myriad of things that I've referenced throughout this fanfic.

Percy was having a hard time fitting in.

For one thing, everyone in the school was going around pretending that he didn't exist. It went on for several days before he managed to bribe Grover with enough cheese enchiladas so he finally cracked and would notice him, and eventually Mr. Brunner began acknowledging his existence as well, but that was only because bullying Percy was too much fun.

And so, Percy eventually got a letter from the headmaster stating that he would not be allowed to come back to Yancy Academy next year since no pretty much no one would admit knowing who he was and so he would cease to exist according to school records by then.

Percy also noticed that no one seemed to remember who Mrs. Dodds was, and that suited him just fine. He didn't want to be questioned for her disappearance, after all, he was barely able to survive in a Middle School, there was no way that he would last in jail, and he was in no mood of being the star of a Percy Jackson/Prison Break crossover fanfic.

And so, time rushed on until it was time for finals week, the time where everything is made up and the points still matter.

The first paper was English, and according to Percy, 'It wented really well,' which should give you some idea of how it went.

As for Percy's other papers aside from Latin and English, they can't be shown as they were copyrighted as the answers on them were so hilarious that Yancy Academy decided to sell them to Saturday Night Live to be shown to the whole world.

There was only one real test left, Latin, which was the only one that Percy had bothered to study for, since he really wanted to rub it in Mr. Brunner's face how nice he had done and how wrong Mr. Brunner had been about him. He could've done this with his other teachers as well, but they didn't even acknowledge that he existed (as a matter of fact, Mrs. Kerr, the new Math teacher, also seemed to either be in on the whole thing or really didn't think Percy went to Yancy Academy. Percy was okay with this as this meant that he could ditch all of his Math classes without anyone punishing him, which was also something millions of kids his age wished for but couldn't do), and so beating their exams wouldn't have been nearly as much fun. As Percy said, 'What's the point of winning if you can't rub it in someone's face?'

So, the evening before his Latin exam, Percy was feeling pumped and decided to go and brag to Mr. Brunner before the exam started.

While he was three steps from Mr. Brunner's door, he paused as he realized that Grover and Mr. Brunner were inside. And so, Percy decided to stop and eavesdrop on them so that he might get some blackmail information on Grover that he could use to his advantage later.

"I have to say that your plan has been working great," Grover said.

"What plan?" Mr. Brunner asked.

"You know- we've been pretending that Percy doesn't exist, that way he's too caught up in all of this to notice that the real thing that we're hiding is that supposedly Mrs. Dodds doesn't exist and vanished, and it has been working perfectly, Percy hasn't asked me about Mrs. Dodds once," Grover said.

"Really? I planned that?" Mr. Brunner asked, confused. "I mean, yeah, uh, of course, that was my plan all along."

In reality, Mr. Brunner had just done that because he liked being mean to Percy, and Grover had joined in because he had thought that it was Mr. Brunner's plan at distracting Percy.

At that moment, Percy was getting ready to hear about some more information when his phone started ringing like crazy.

A lot of things went through Percy's mind at that moment, of which none can be printed as this fanfic is rated K+, and so he ran into the next room and closed the door after refusing to pick up the call.

"What was that?" Grover asked. At that moment, Percy was thankful he had changed his phone's ringtone to that of a penguin's mating cry instead of a normal ringtone, and so Grover added, "It sounded like a penguin."

"Okay Grover," Mr. Brunner said. "I think that this is a great time for me to transform into my true form, disregarding the fact that I'm in a school and there are loads of people who could see me and such."

"Are you sure that that's a good idea?" Grover asked.

"Of course it isn't, that's why I'm doing it," Mr. Brunner said.

Percy then saw something that looked way taller than a teacher in a wheelchair, and even some sounds like a horse was walking down the hallway.

From that, Percy could only conclude that Mr. Brunner was a unicorn as well.

"Oh well," Mr. Brunner said. "It seems that there is no one there, and of course it makes sense for me to not bother looking into any of these other rooms and only check the hallway, Mr. Rick Riordan. I guess we must have just imagined hearing a penguin's mating cry."

"Yeah," Grover said. "Because a penguin's mating cry is something that we all occasionally imagine hearing from time to time."

Percy looked at who had called him and didn't recognize the number. Whoever this person was, they had called at a time which made him miss potential blackmail information. He dialed the number and someone on the other end said,

"Good morning, I would just like to talk to you for a moment about a product-" Percy groaned, his golden moment had been taken away by a telemarketer. He could only hope they person was selling something that he wanted.

"A new drug that our company has invented, to combat morning sickness experienced by pregnant woman!"

Percy screamed internally and chucked his phone across the room where it hit the wall and broke. After all, his eavesdropping attempt had been foiled by a telemarketer who was trying to sell him drugs to combat morning sickness for pregnant woman.

Once Percy was sure the coast was clear, he headed back to his room where Grover was there, acting like he hadn't been in the same room as that of a magical unicorn.

"What's up?" Grover asked.

"You and Mr. Brunner owe me a new phone," Percy said and went to sleep.

The next day, Percy was going through all the questions on his exam like clockwork, because he had memorized all of Mr. Brunner's notes. He smirked, and was sure that he had aced the test.

As Percy was done, Mr. Brunner called him back inside. For a moment Percy was worried that he had found about his eavesdropping, but Mr. Brunner just wanted to say, "Percy, don't be discouraged about leaving Yancy Academy. It's… It's for the best."

Percy turned a bright shade of red, since this meant that Mr. Brunner still didn't think he was good enough to be there. The other students heard, and Nancy Bobofit smirked at Percy and began making sarcastic kissing motions at him, before actually blowing Grover a kiss, who was too busy working on his paper to notice.

Percy shuddered. Nancy had stopped teasing Grover so much, and frankly Percy was glad to be away from Yancy since he did not want to be around if the two started dating.

"I mean…" Mr. Brunner wheeled his chair back and forth, as if he wasn't sure how he should put his thoughts in the meanest way possible. "This isn't the right place for you. It was only a matter of time. And like I had told you before, you were probably not going to make it into high school anyway."

Despite what had happened all year, Percy's eyes still stung. Here was his favorite teacher (favorite since he was the only one who noticed him) and even he was telling him that he couldn't make it in front of the class.

"Right," Percy said, trembling.

"So, yeah, get lost loser" Mr. Brunner said.

And so, Percy ran out of the room, feeling ashamed, but at least confident that he had done well in his exam.

One Week Later, When the Results Are Declared

Percy couldn't believe it. He had gotten a zero in Latin. Now, it was quite normal for him to get an F in the other subjects, but the thing was that if there was one thing that Percy Jackson was good at, it was getting his grades up at the last moment.

You see, Percy went ahead and visited each of his teachers. So, even though none of them knew he existed or pretended to not know, he managed to be so annoying that in the end all of them changed his grades to a C, even Mrs. Kerr who was surprised that Percy was even a student of hers still gave him a C at the end even though Percy hadn't attended a single one of her classes. The headmaster agreed to all of these changes so long as Percy forfeited his intellectual rights to his exams so that they could be sold for a huge profit.

There was only one teacher left, Mr. Brunner. Percy walked into his office and asked, "Just why did I get a zero in the test?"

"Percy, all of your answers are wrong," Mr. Brunner said. "For one, you wrote that 'Titan' is a brand of watch, that Ares is King of the Gods, that Dionysus is the God of War, that apparently Zeus is an adopted child, and a whole lot of other wrong things."

"You've told me all of that!" Percy said, holding up his notes that Mr. Brunner had given him.

Mr. Brunner flicked through the notes, noting that apparently he had made Percy write down all of those things.

"Okay, Percy," Mr. Brunner said, "the truth is that I don't really know anything about Greek Mythology or Latin at all. I cheated on all of my exams in college, and I sort of made all of that up. I didn't think anyone was stupid enough to take it seriously and that all of you would have just read the book for the real stuff, since I couldn't be bothered to read it. The rest of the kids were smart enough to realize that I was spouting nonsense and read from the textbook, well, that is, everyone except you. What made you think that it was enough to just read my notes?"

"You said, 'For the final exam, reading my notes will be sufficient,' in class at least three times!" Percy said.

"Oh," Mr. Brunner said. "I probably had high expectations from myself that I would bother learning the stuff I was supposed to teach, though I failed at that."

Percy was speechless.

"All right then," Mr. Brunner said. "I'll give a hundred for the test. But that doesn't change the fact that the end-of-term essay you handed in was terrible." He held up an essay, and Percy paled. "I asked you to write about any of the chapters in the book, and instead your essay looked curiously like a One Direction fanfic, because as I continued reading it, I realized that it was a One Direction fanfic. Well?"

Percy really didn't have an answer to that.

"Then again," Mr. Brunner said, "I would have given you a zero if it wasn't for the fact that I am a One Directioner. But what really ticks me off is not that you gave me a One Direction fanfic, but that you gave me a bad One Direction fanfic."

"Uh yeah," Percy said, "truth is that I really don't know anything about One Direction. I just copied that fanfic from somewhere."

Mr. Brunner glared at him. "I could have you expelled for plagiarism."

"I'm already being expelled," Percy said.

Mr. Brunner looked at Percy's essay/fanfic, and gave it a B minus.

Percy walked out of the room, thinking that the whole thing went much better than expected.

And so, the happy day came when Percy was finally leaving Yancy academy and was going back to his huge playboy mansion where there would be dozens of servants to give him anything he wanted and pretty much limitless candy.

Around him, the other delinquents, who were all nobodies instead of having a filthy rich parent like him, were discussing their mundane plans, which couldn't compare to Percy's planned hiking trip to Switzerland, or cruising the Caribbean for a month. However, they all talked as if Percy didn't exist, which wasn't much of a change from how they had acted all year.

And so, Percy left on a Greyhound towards the city, which would have been a wonderful experience if it wasn't for the fact that Grover had also decided to come with him.

Grover kept glancing at the aisles, as if he was worried that someone might see him with Percy Jackson.

"Looking for Kindly Ones?" Percy asked.

Grover jumped. "What about that?"

Percy then told him that he had eavesdropped on them, but that didn't really explain anything since the word 'Kindly Ones' had never been uttered, at least not in this fanfic.

"Okay, Percy," Grover said. "I need to tell you something…" He paused, and then handed Percy a small card which had script in fancy italics which was murder on Percy's dyslexic eyes.

Grover Underwood

Keeper

Half-Blood Hill

Long Island, New York

(800) 009-0009

There were lots of stuff that one could say about the card, like how the number should have been 007 instead of 009 for a James Bond reference, but Percy picked on something else.

Percy giggled. "Your last name is Underwood? Heh, heh, Grover Underwear…"

Grover blushed. "Do not call me that! That's why I don't tell anyone my full name!"

Percy made a note to keep calling Grover that, but asked him, "So, your last name is Underwood, kind of like Weevil Underwood from Yu-Gi-Oh!, right. Are you related to him? Have you ever met Yugi? Do you use an insect deck?"

"No Percy, that takes place in a different universe," Grover answered. "And insect decks went out of fashion in the metagame a long time ago, Percy."

"Anyway," Grover said, "the thing is that I need to protect you."

Percy found this odd, considering the fact that Grover pretty much used Percy as a sacrificial lamb whenever he got the chance, often telling bullies, "Not me! Pick on this other kid instead, he cries way more and is so much more fun picking on!" Not to mention Grover used Percy as a human shield during dodgeball. Plus, it was Grover's fault that Mrs. Dodds had attacked Percy.

Just then, the bus broke, with the driver saying that all passengers had to get off.

All of them did get off, and Percy noticed three really old ladies sitting near a fruit stand knitting socks that were huge but unmistakably socks.

Still, Percy felt weird looking at them. Just then, one of them looked directly at Percy. She then picked up a phone and dialed it, and Percy's newly ordered phone (which he had paid for by swiping Mr. Brunner's credit card) began to ring. Hesitantly, Percy picked up his phone.

The old lady smiled at him and said, "Seven days…" The voice was ominous and chilling.

Percy was sweating. He was thinking, 'Seven days? Seven days and then what happens?'

The old lady cut the call, but as if she could read Percy's mind she took out a string, and snipped it with a pair of scissors. Percy gulped. Then, the second one took out a phone and dialed a number.

Percy's phone rang. Again. He picked it up, and a voice said, "They don't know who you are. But they will find you, and they will kill you."

And then, the third one took out her phone and called.

Percy picked up that one too. "You're about to be taken," the third one said.

Just then, the bus appeared to be fixed, and Percy turned around to see the drive pulling out a Cosmopolitan magazine from the engine, wondering how it got there while Grover was looking guilty and nervous and said, "How should I know?" even though nobody had asked him anything.

Percy looked back at the fruit stand, and the old ladies were gone.

"Did you see that? Did you see those old ladies?" Percy asked.

"I don't think those socks would have fit you," Grover said.

"This isn't time to joke," Percy said. "They called me and made weird The Ring and Taken references. And one of them cut a string. Doesn't that mean someone's going to die?"

"Yeah," Grover said happily as if he was already choosing the kind of music he was going to play at Percy's funeral while dancing on Percy's grave, probably 'It's the Best Day Ever'. Percy had a mental image of Mr. Brunner, Nancy Bobofit, and Grover standing over where he was buried and doing the can-can.

"Let me walk you home from the bus station," Grover asked.

Percy agreed, but made a note to ditch Grover the moment that he got the chance. (This is extra funny because it actually happens.)

A/N: And so, this chapter as well ends. I've noticed one thing, that now this fanfic is longer than the old The Lightning Thief Parody at just three chapters even though we even haven't even gotten to getting Percy to Camp Half-Blood yet. I know longer isn't always better, but I feel like the flow of the story is a bit better than last time, rather than what seemed like a bunch of jokes strung together. It does involve a small amount of filler in between, but I think that's necessary to keep a smooth story going. Any comments on that?

As for my reviewers, Bridget, thank you.

Insane PJO LOver: I didn't know about Rhett and Link until I Googled them, so sadly I can't comment on that. And I was kind of wondering when you'd review, but apparently you're busy with schoolwork, which is okay as I've been buried in it for a long time.

Nightcorelover297: I don't really think there was a plot to stray from, but good to know that you liked it. Making Grover French really made it hard to write about him later on.

Drama Llama-Sama: First of all, cool name, and secondly, yes, I loved the Penguins from Madagascar, and my second favorite was King Julian, so I guess I didn't really ever care for the main characters and all but whatever.

Also, if anyone didn't get a reference or a line, feel free to ask.