hey. New chater. I have a request with Lucius playing the damsel so that will be next. For now, enjoy an amusing tale where Sain is devastated in more ways than one. I dont hate him or any characters. I just feel like making him a victim.

Disclaimer- not mine

Rapunzel

Once upon a time, there was a young prince in search of a princess. We will just call him Sain for simplicity's sake. He was considered quite a womanizer. Yet he was infamous for being a heartbreaker.

He had a brother named Matthew. Both brothers had sandy hair. Sain's hair was greener. Matthew's was blonder. In terms of personality Sain was more outgoing and jovial. Matthew was more laid back and reclusive. And yet, both had their charms. Sain used his in pursuing woman. Matthew used his for blackmail and gambling.

One day they heard of a magnificent castle where there is a beautiful woman hidden up a tower. Sain was of course in high spirits. He was tired of the women in his kingdom. None of them can satisfy his criteria of a perfect woman. He immediately set out with his brother in tow. Matthew was reluctant but knew that he would need to be around or Sain would get in trouble… again. Sometimes he wondered how they were related.

So the brothers rode on their fancy white horses to the fabled castle. Matthew would have taken a regular brown horse but Sain insisted. At the castle, Matthew and Sain separated. Sain was going to check the castle surroundings. Matthew was going to the nearest pub.

Sain learned that the castle had four towers. Each tower had an inhabitant. One has a beautiful princess but the area is divided into light and dark halves. The princess was in one of these halves. The dark halves were very dangerous. So what did Sain do?

"It is obvious where the princess is held. She must be held hostage by evil forces and it is up to me to save her. Wait for me!" Sain yelled. (Note that he never considered checking the safe towers first.)

He rode his valiant steed to the first tower and called out "Rapunzel. Let down your hair." (Somewhere far way, someone is threatening to sue.)

A faceless figure appeared and spoke, "Who are you?"

The voice was indescribable. It didn't sound male or female. Undeterred, Sain pressed forth betting that it was a fair maiden in need of rescue.

"I am Prince Sain. I am here to rescue yonder (no idea what it means okay) fair maiden," Sain proudly said.

"A prince? It's been a while since we had one of those. Come up this magic rope," the voice invited.

"A magic rope? Can't I get an escalator or something?" Sain whined.

"No. Haven't been invented yet. Now move your lazy ass!" the voice yelled.

"Princesses these days," Sain mumbled as he climbed the rope.

When he got up there, he was greeted by a green haired girl not more than fifteen. Sain took one look at her and turned.

"Stay in school kid," Sain said as he climbed down the magic rope.

"What! How rude," the girl pouted. He didn't even ask her name.

"Well that was disappointing. Hope the next time will be better," Sain sighed. At this time, Matthew had returned from a bar. He won a few hands but was caught cheating so he ran away. He decided to join his brother. It would be funny if nothing else.

"Another failure bro? That makes three in a row," Matthew laughed.

"I didn't fail this one. She just wasn't to my taste," Sain protested.

"Hot, voluptuous brunettes aren't to your tastes?" Matthew looked up at the tower.

"What?" Sain said as he looked up and saw a beautiful woman up the tower.

He made to try to climb the tower but was pulled back by Matthew who saw the woman kiss a big brute.

"Better luck next time bro," Matthew grinned. The day was getting better and it was still morning.

"That's not fair. Why are the beautiful ones always taken?" Sain whined.

"Because then, the ugly ones can't get married," Matthew joked.

Sain gave him a pointed look and urged his horse towards the next tower, hopefully there won't be another surprise. At the next tower, Sain quite frankly fell in love. He saw the most beautiful creature ever. She had beautiful blue eyes, long flowing blond hair, and high cheekbones (No idea what that means so don't ask.) She was wearing a blue and white flowing robe similar to those monks in the monastery wear. Of course the girl seemed really flat chested but who cares. Matthew had no idea how Sain saw all that from a tower window fifty feet up especially when Sain couldn't see a small rock ten feet away from him.

"Rapunzel. Let down your hair," Sain cried.

Now Matthew wondered if his brother hit his head in the span of thirty minutes. It took about thirty minutes for Sain to gather information and climb up and down a tower. He chose to keep quiet for now though since Sain finding a wife meant someone else to clean up Sain's mess. Sain was a pain to clean up after. So much so, their servants refused to touch Sain's room. Poor Matthew was left with the task of cleaning up after Sain to keep from having a rat infested home.

"Ah good day to you sir knight," the woman called out. The voice was fairly deep for a woman but she had such manners.

"Ah if only I can stand here all day and listen to the sound of your voice I would be content. Oh beauty would you not consider riding off with me to live in my equally as beautiful castle?" Sain flattered.

"Um. I apologize, sir knight but it is not your company I seek," the woman said a bit taken back.

Now it was Sain's turn to be taken back, "Do you seek the company of women then?"

"I do but my dedication to the Saint comes first," the woman said.

"Oh woe is me. I have found a great beauty that loves women instead of men," Sain cried.

Uh. Don't worry. I'm sure some lucky man will love you someday," the woman gently said.

"I do not understand," Sain replied.

"Do not be afraid to stand forward with your head held high. Even if you are gay, you will find love someday," the woman said strongly.

"Oh man. This is too funny. She thinks you are gay, Sain," Matthew laughed.

"Uh my lady. I am not gay," Sain corrected sending Matthew a glare.

"Oh I am no lady. I am a man. I was sent here to investigate why this half of the castle is dark," the man said.

"A man?" Sain whispered.

"That's what he said. This is getting too good. You practically proposed to a man. Nice job," Matthew roared in laughter.

"A man," Sain repeated shocked.

"I'm sorry. I suppose I should have told you from the start. I have been told I look very feminine," the man said ruefully.

"Come on lover boy. Two towers to go. I can't wait for what will happen next," Matthew dragged a dumbfounded Sain to their horses.

Eventually on the long ride to the light half, Sain recovered.

"Hey. The man said it himself. He gets confused by others a lot. No big deal right," Sain said cheerfully. (It's true. Idiots bounce back fast.)

"Yeah sure. Keep telling yourself that," Matthew mumbled as they arrived at the third tower.

This tower was special. It had a door and a spiral staircase. Matthew opted out on going up this one. Not worth it. Tower was fifty-ish feet remember? An hour later, Sain reached the top of the tower. What he saw made him feel like puking.

He saw an old man about fifty, wearing only a pair of trousers. (Yes trousers.) The man turned on him in surprise and embedded a spear longer than Sain was tall in the wall near him.

The man took one look at Sain in white princely armor and laughed, "A new recruit eh? You came at the right time. My last group of trainees just quit. (I wonder why?) Now let's go for a short twenty mile jog around the castle."

Sain made to protest but he was still blinded from seeing the man in the near buff. He was also exhausted from climbing the tower. To top it off, the man's booming voice was giving him a migraine.

"That's funny. This says Army Barracks. And what's this "Beware of Wallace". What is a Wallace?" Matthew thought as he checked the surrounding area after Sain left.

He just finished checking when he saw Sain run out of the keep with a heavily built man waving a spear and chanting following behind him.

"Oh so that's a Wallace," Matthew thought, "Should I help Sain? Nah. He can take care of himself."

"Why me?" Sain sobbed.

In the meantime as Sain was being tortu-, trained, Matthew thought about what he should do. On one hand he could leave for home, but he was supposed to bring Sain with him. If he returned empty handed, his mom Lyn would definitely chew him out. He could go back to the pub but he already was caught cheating them, he probably won't be welcomed back. Then he could check out the last tower. Nothing could be as bad as losing out on a beautiful woman, get mistaken as gay and proposing to a man, and getting chased/lessons from a giant. Wow, Matthew just realized Sain might not be very lucky.

"Guess I'll check out the final tower," Matthew thought lazily and rode his horse slowly to the last tower with Sain's horse in tow.

At the tower he tried repeating the words Sain said, "Rapist. No. Rutabaga. No, sounds off. Rocks for brains. No that's not it either."

"Hey. People have feelings you know," a shrill voice yelled from the top of the tower.

"How the hell did the voice hear me?" Matthew muttered.

"I have good hearing," the voice replied.

"Whoa. That freaked me out," Matthew thought.

"By the way, the word was 'Rapunzel'," the voice said.

"Why can I hear you?" Matthew asked.

"I have telepathy," the voice said.

"Telepathy. How long you got guy?" Matthew joked.

"Oh great. First time I heard that one," the voice said sarcastically.

"Geez. Some people can't take a joke," Matthew sighed, "So I'm guessing you're Rapunzel?"

"No. She left a year ago. I'm her caretaker. I care for her for twenty years and she runs off with a prince charming? She's so lucky," the voice sighed.

"I'm sorry?" Matthew said awkwardly.

"Huh? Don't be. The girl needed to come out for once. She was so shy; I actually had to make some rumors about a poor girl being held captive to get people to come here. Unfortunately, some scholars showed to check the dark and light half. Some idiots like Wallace showed up. Then there are the princes. Some were ugly. Some were jerks. I had so much work to do," the voice sighed.

"I'm sure she appreciated your efforts," Matthew said.

"I know she appreciated it. She sends me a pigeon every few days. Now I have to feed twenty birds and write messages. That girl can't shut up now," the voice cried.

"Was her name really Rapunzel?" Matthew asked.

"No. Every damsel needs a weird name though. I was eating rapunzels (cabbages) at the time so I wrote that on the fliers. Her birth name was Serra by the way," the voice explained.

"Well as great a story as this was, I have to go save my brother. I don't think my mom will let me off the hook if I show up with his dead body," Matthew said thoughtfully. (Nice conclusion. I can imagine some of the punishments Lyn would come up with.)

"Oh you were so sweet to listen. I hate to ask but can you throw the trash away? It's all my trash for three years. There should be a landfill down there. There also used to be some nice people who helped throw away that stuff every week. I wonder where they all went. Anyways, I would go but I still have spring cleaning to do," the voice asked.

"Sure. What's in there?" Matthew asked when he lifted a heavy bag.

"Serra's hair and broken glasses. I try to recycle but that girl had way too much hair," the voice sighed.

"Alright. Goodbye," Matthew waved.

Matthew took the two bags of trash down to the landfill. (Two bags for three years. She really does recycle. I feel bad now.) He tossed the bag into the landfill. Ironically there was no landfill. Matthew did get directions but there were no trash there. He wandered around for a bit and finally spotted a woman with pale skin and long black hair. She seemed like a doll. When she spoke it was even more eerie. Apparently she was responsible for the disposal of trash. She used to have helpers but they mysteriously resigned after she sent them to the barracks and met a man called Wallace. Even that, she said emotionlessly.

Matthew, spooked, left the trash and ran back to the tower where he left the horses. He saw a beautiful red haired girl stroking his horse's muzzle. It was love at first sight. Psyche. They got into an argument. Matthew yelled at her for touching his horse. She yelled at him for leaving the horses here without any restraints or care. The girl's name was Leila by the way.

Then they yelled about how poorly Matthew was dressed to which he countered with how she looked. Then they argued about the food they like. Then they argue about what they hated. Then they started to make out. Wow. You learn a lot about someone by arguing eh?

All the while, the voice was watching, "Dang I'm good. I should get a career in this." (Yes. The voice set it up.)

They fell in love and rode back to Matthew's kingdom. They were happy until Lyn gently reminded them they left Sain behind. Hey, a mother is usually happy when their child finally gets married. (I think. I'm a guy remember.)

They have a wedding after they retrieve Sain. Sain was strangely buffed up but seemed to be traumatized. His muscles were all torn and he seemed to be in pain. Well, he eventually recovered and THEY LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER… sort of.

HEY. LEAVE A REVIEW WHY DONCHA. O. caps lock was on.