Sanctuary

The days grew shorter and cooler. Johnny and Adrienne went to the park virtually every night. No two nights were exactly the same, and though the two of them spoke little, they felt closer to each other than two people usually are after such a short amount of time. Adrienne wouldn't talk much about her home life, though she told him a few details. Johnny learned that she lived with her aunt, Rachel, her husband, Uncle Phil, and their twin baby daughters. He noted the indifference with which she mentioned her aunt and uncle. Johnny himself didn't talk about his parents the same way other kids did. There was still much to learn from each other, but both felt as though they knew each other for years. They were more than friends, but neither Johnny nor Adrienne asked

One cool night they met up. Johnny laid out a quilt for them to lie on top of the grass and not get cold. Just as they were about to sit, some distant whoops alarmed them. Adrienne stiffened. Johnny got to his feet. The shouts grew louder. If they were greasers, there was nothing to be worried about. But they weren't. Johnny caught sight of the noisemakers West Side speech, and even the dark he could see that they were dressed like Socs. By the looks of it they were drunk. One of them climbed around the fountain. His silhouette

"We gotta get outta here," Johnny whispered without taking his eyes away from the Socs. "Before they see us."

"Where will we go?" Adrienne asked. Her skin glowed pale in the moonlight, though she didn't look very troubled. Adrienne felt secure with Johnny.

"Uh…the cemetery?" When Johnny wanted a night to himself and the park was occupied by hostile Socs, he might stay in the cemetery. He didn't believe the dead would harm him, but he knew the idea was gruesome for others, and to his relief Adrienne replied, "I won't be too scared if we go together."

Her answer swelled him with a sense of self-esteem. "Let's go."

She rolled up the blanket. They left the park, walked down the street, turned the corner and passed the closed stores down on main street. Minutes later they reached the cemetery, which was dead of sound. Johnny jumped over the fence, then helped Adrienne. As they walked in search of a spot to rest, he felt her cold hands tighten around his arm. "Don't worry," Johnny assured her in whisper. "You'll be all right." It was very cold that night. Johnny wondered if they were crazy enough to have these meeting throughout the winter. He would ask her if she would stay with him at Ponyboy's house, but it was unlikely; Adrienne shrank from other people, especially boys and men. For some reason she did not shrink from Johnny.

"A-are we supposed to put it there?"

Johnny found a spot under a tree beside a headstone and rolled the quilt there. He assured her with a smile. "We'll be fine. Come."

Adrienne looked unsure, but she complied and lay next to him on the quilt, which Johnny pulled over their shoulders. The cemetery was eerily quiet. They didn't have the enjoyment of their usual meetings in the park, which were filled with the quiet music of the night. And they were physically closer than before. Adrienne and Johnny held each other so close they could feel each other's breaths, which released small puffs of condensed steam in the air.

"My parents are buried here," she whispered against his chest.

Johnny raised his eyebrows. "Right here?"

"No, but in the yard."

"Oh. I'm very sorry."

"It's okay. I was five when they died. I really have no memory of them."

"I wish I couldn't remember my folks."

Adrienne's downcast eyes raised a little. There was no moon tonight, and the streetlights were weak, so they appeared so dark a shade of gray that they were almost as dark as Johnny's black eyes. "They don't know how good you are, Johnny. I've never met anybody like you before."

"Me neither." Johnny felt nervous. There were so many things he wanted to say, but he felt stupid just thinking of them! But he tried. "I feel like…I should've known you all my life."

"Are we more than friends?" she asked tentatively, voicing the question on his mind.

"We are," he said, supplying the answer. Without saying so, but both understanding the other, they established their relationship.

"It's getting late. We should get some sleep," Adrienne whispered.

The kiss that followed was unexpected on both parts, but both were too tired to acknowledge their first relationship. They went to sleep.

--

The dreams that haunted Adrienne's sleep melted. She adored Johnny. Only he could make her feel safe to sleep in a cemetery on a cold night. Her heart leapt with excitement when it was understood that they were boyfriend and girlfriend, and when they kissed, she didn't want to sleep. But the bliss was short-lived. Her nightmares resurfaced. Johnny was pure-hearted, the closest being to a saint that she had ever known. If he knew more about her than she could let on, he would be disgusted with her. In Adrienne's dream, she saw her reflection in the mirror. Her image broke down in tears. Her only choice was to either lie or not tell him her faults.

It began when she thought she saw two claws reach for her. Adrienne slapped them away. Now another pair of hands--clawless ones--shook her into consciousness.

"Adrienne!"

Her eyes opened to the sky, which was a soft, dreary shade of blue. Johnny's face came to view. "Are you okay?"

Adrienne wouldn't say at first, but finally answered, "Yes." She felt ashamed of the tears that fell from her cheeks like rain fell from clouds. For all her trouble, she had no right to cry. "Yes."

"You were screaming…I'm sorry, but the cops are nearby, and if they saw us…"

"I'm sorry. You must think I'm a fool," she mumbled shamefully.

"No, forget about it." He surprised her by kissing the side of her cheek. It left a warm spot on Adrienne's face that was a reminder of her new joy and old pain. "Let's go, okay? I'll walk you home."

Adrienne clung to Johnny's arm and rested her head against his shoulder as they silently walked towards her house. She clung to the blooming love she had for him. She decided to keep her secrets from him, and hoped they would not run up to catch her. If so, they would ruin her life, and he would not stay with her.

--

As they came up to Adrienne's house, Johnny wondered what evils had happened to his new girlfriend, though he refused to ask her until she was ready. The house was a homely white house, with a low shingled roof, porch, and a rusty mailbox that could have collapsed over its rotten post years ago. Adrienne huddled to his body the entire walk. When they arrived at the driveway, he put his hands on her shoulders.

"Are you scared to go inside?" he asked.

She shook her head silently. Then she added, "I don't like what's inside, so I stay in my shed. I think you'll remember it?"

Johnny did; she'd told him about her shed a while ago. "Oh, yeah. It's back there yonder?"

"Yeah. D'you wanna see…?"

"Okay."

Johnny walked with her to the shed. It was a small white structure, of not much better appearance than the house. Three locks held the door fast to its walls; for what had she felt the need to use so many? Once Adrienne opened them, she pushed the door. He glanced inside, admiring the lazily comfortable appearance inside. She was surrounded by a collection of books, odds and ends, and under the square window, next to her beanbag, he saw the records she treasured so much inside a cardboard box library. She had made this place her own at the cost of shutting the outside world.

"You're welcome here any time," Adrienne murmured. "Just make sure nobody sees you."

"Sure." He grinned shyly. "Well…I'd better get goin'." He kissed her goodbye, then went on his way.

Johnny hadn't known girls very well before. No girl approached him except for once incident when Dally's gal sugared up to him when he was locked up. Steve was not only mad, he was pissed, and offered a long lecture on girls that he and Pony had to endure. But Adrienne was so pure, though melancholic, and she was different from other greaser girls. He didn't feel as nervous around her as he might.

Ten minutes passed before Johnny reached his house. He jammed the key in the back door, which opened to the kitchen, and a very infuriated Mrs. Cade sitting in the corner. Her eyes were bitter, scrutinizing his appearance as though looking for a reason to fight.

"Where you been, Johnny?" she demanded.

"Out, Ma," he replied softly. Immediately his heart quickened. Johnny had learned to manage his mother's rants by one, getting away as soon as possible, and two, keeping his replies equally as short. But that he had arrived home after dawn wasn't what bothered her. He could tell she had a fight with Dad, probably over something stupid. Johnny knew because there was broken glass around the sink, and the house reeked of liquor more than usual.

But Mrs. Cade had fight in her she needed to let out on her son. "Poppycock rubbish! I'm your mother, you think I'm supposed to believe that crap?"

A stinging belt whipped across Johnny's back before he could sidestep her aim. The lick stung, but it didn't hurt as much as her words. The pride with which filled him last night with Adrienne disintegrated in his mother's hateful screams. Mrs. Cade jabbed an accusing finger in his face. "Little liar! Little lying, good-for-nothing garbage-brain of a boy!" She pushed her finger against his temple, hard. "I saw you walkin' around this morning with a girl. Who was the little hussy, hmm? If she gets pregnant, that slut can justwait at the doorstep, 'cause it's my bad lot to deal with you, much less your bastard!"

Johnny bit his lips, but said nothing. He marched upstairs to his room and shut the door.

In own house he was not even entitled to dignity.

--