Here I am with an super-de-duper bonus chapter to make up for all my missed weekends. Oi…and some peoples thought I was dead.

Readers: Aww…dangit.

Anywho, today we are taking a quick break from the regular plot line (plot? What plot?) to bring you this-The Good Morning Gaia Show!!!

*fast-paced news music is cued and the camera pans past the thousands of people holding signs bearing messages like 'Hi Mom!', 'Ziddy, you're mine!', 'Yeah, like, Sailor Scouts, like TOTALLY!', and 'Tenchi, I love yoooou!'. The camera switches its view again to a snappy looking news-room, at a desk sits two people, one, a humanoid dragon bearing a scythe, the other, Garnet*

Dragon Chic: Hello there fans, rabid otakus, and anime lovers in general! This is your favorite reporter, Celia! And here's our guest newscaster, the Queen of Alexandria.

Garnet: Thank you…um…authoress….Exactly what are you doing in the story?

Celia: Talking to you. At least that's what I was doing the last time I checked.

Garnet: You know what I meant.

Celia: Well, I'm sittin' in a reporters chair, with reporting notes, and have a reporting contract. Why, my golly, I'm reporting news!

Garnet: Nice use of sarcasm. Now what are you doing in your own story?!

Celia: I have my reasons…besides, it is not up to you to question your author! I'm writing this piece o' crap and I can be in it if I want. Do you want me to make you bald?

Garnet: YOU WOULDN'T!

Celia: Wouldn't bet on it, sister.

Garnet: *gulp*…okay, okay…*mutters under breath then notices camera is on, smiles sheepishly and adjusts notes* Ah….Today we're reporting from the popular Dragoon Tower in Burmecia. It's six o'clock here, and we've got a lot to get through…I need to get back to running my country too…and there's that grocery list, and Zidane is gonna need help with those meetings, and then there's my lunch with Eiko, and some-

Celia-AHEM!

Garnet: Sorry…got carried away.

Celia: Riiiiiiiight. Anywho, today we have a special guest star- Cloud Strife!

Garnet: Uh, funny thing about that…

Celia: Huh?

Garnet: He's not coming…

*View switches to outside the tower*

Celia: WHAAAAAAAAAAT?!!!

Garnet: He had an appointment with Regis and Kelly that he couldn't turn down.

Celia: Is that so? Well, looks like I'm gonna need a flight to the good ol' US of A. COMMERCIAL PLEASE!!!!

*Adds for Miracle Grow, Oreck Vacuums, I can't believe it's not butter, Lilo and Stitch, and flamethrowers*

Garnet: Uhhh…well, since Celia's gone, I guess I'll just have to take charge……..In our next story, we, uh…cover the latest about the rebuilding of Burmecia…I think. Oi, director! Send in Freya!

Billy Bo Bubba Director: Whuuuuh?

Garnet: SEND IN FREYA!!

B.B.B.D.: Whuuuuuh?

Garnet: Send in Freya! She's the tall one in the orange suit!

B.B.B.D.: Duuuuurr…the rat?

Garnet: Uh oh…wrong thing to say, Billy.

Frately: Didth Ieth Heareth Some beingeth calleth my fairest Freya a rodent…eth?!

Everyone else: ?

Garnet: Explain to me how you can say '?'?

Frately: Beats me. Now where was I? Aw…I can't remember…AUUUUGH!!! NOOOOOOOOOO!!

Freya: Oi…here we go again…Um, Garnet, we better get this interview over with. Frately needs to see his psychiatrist again.

Garnet: Fine by me.

Freya: Cool.

Frately: Cool.

B.B.B.D.: Cool.

Garnet: So yeah, cool. So, first question. How has it been rebuilding the city?

Freya: Not that bad. The only trouble we've had is Frately forgetting the blueprints at a bustop. Other than that, it's been okay.

Garnet: Frately forget stuff a lot?

Freya: Yes. Get's lost in his own home sometimes.

Frately: I don't remember that!

Garnet: Really? Uh…okay then. Next question. *looks at notes* This one's from a fan. 'When's the next Riverdance performance?

Freya: This Saturday. Tickets can be bought for 100gil each.

Garnet: What about royalty discounts?

Frately: Uh…hello?

Freya: Nope.

Garnet: Dang.

Frately: Ladies?

Freya: But we do have a 'saved the world' package.

Garnet: Yay! I'll take two then.

Freya: Sure. *scrounges around in pockets* Bubble gum…nope…spare lance…gyshal greens…map…Oh! Found my lucky gil!

Frately: Aren't you supposed to be running a show?

Freya and Garnet: No.

Frately: Oh. Okay then. Musta forgot that…

Freya: Where are they? I had'em this morning…

Garnet: While you look for those tickets, why don't we have another commercial break?

B.B.B.D.: Cool. *some drool hanging down one side of his mouth…*

*commercials for Rogain, Regent Cid's newest airlines, Cloud's hair gel, and gummy bears*

Somewhere in New York…

Celia: I hate these Wal-Marts! WHERE'S THE FREAKIN-FRAKIN-EXIT!!!!!

Annoyingly cheerful person: Why, no need to shout! Put a smile on! The exit's right over there, now don't you feel-AUUUGHGH!!

Celia: *Whistles innocently* Sheesh, ya try and buy a decent hand grenade and wind up getting lost somewhere between the cash register and the door. Oi…

Back on Gaia…

Garnet: I got Riverdance tickets! Oh YEAH! Who's da bomb! *notices camera on* Eehh…onto our next story. Umm…at Gamer Awards, Best Villain was given to Sephiroth, again. Best Supporting Role was given to Vivi. There was a nasty catfight between Yume and Din over Best Dance Routine, the award ultimately going to the nameless Cleyrian rat who was behind Freya. But why are you listening to me? Here's Zidane with our live coverage of last night.

*Screen switches to Ziddy, who is holding a microphone and sitting in between a couple of girls from Dead or Alive 3*

Zidane: Hey there, it's me, the current ruler of Alexandria, here at the GA pavillion. We have quite a turnout here, with every one from Kefka to Kuja…though come to think of it there's not a big difference between the two. I'm here with Chrono before the ceremony. So, Chrono, who do you think's gonna win Best Game this year?

Chrono:

Zidane: Don't know either? What about you and Marle? Getting along still?

Chrono:

Zidane: That bad, huh? Hmm, well, I better get back to my reporting. Hey we should doubble date sometime, hows about Friaday?

Chrono:

Zidane: Nothing happening on Saturday, huh? Cool. See ya around.

Chrono:

Zidane: *watches Chrono leave, then looks back at the camera* Great guy, that Chrono. Anywho, we've got the first award being announced, so I'll see you in a minute.

*camera switches to their on stage one. Lynx from Chrono Cross is opening the Envelope*

Lynx: And the winner for best game is….

*insert your own suspense*

Lynx: *sarcastically* Well here's a big surprise…FINAL FANTASY SEVEN!!!!

Zidane: Again? That's nearly five years in a row! WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE!!!!! Why I outta! NINE HAD EVERYTHING!!! YOU LITTLE *screen goes black*

Garnet: *eyes wide* Okaaaay…um…COMMERCIALS!!

*Commercials for Pizza, Kentucky Fried Chocobo, Goooze, the end of the world, and Spiderman*

Garnet: What the heck did Zidane mean by Friday being open? I was going somewhere with Tifa then. And how the heck does he understand that silent freak! HE DIDN'T SAY A WORD!! That's it! I'm going home and finding out where that tailed jerk went last Friday! STOP THE CAMERA BILLY!

*Mog flies in, holding a letter*

Mog: WAIT, kupo, I HAVE URGENT NEWS!!! Kupo!

Garnet: *angrily* What?!

Mog: Regis, *huff*, and Kelly, kupo, were bombed by a dragon, and *hack* Cloud's coming here after all.

Garnet: Well tell him to forget it! I'm going home!! With or without a paycheck! *Storms of stage*

Mog: But what am I going to tell Cloud, kupo!

Cloud: Heard the whole thing.

Mog: AUGH, kupo!!!

Cloud: Don't worry about it. I don't care.

Mog: Phew…kupo…*flies away*

Cloud: *Notices the Riverdance tickets Garnet forgot* Heeeeeey…

B.B.B.D.: Now what does Billy do…Billy no have show…*runs off crying*

Cloud: Well, my work here is done…better get out of the rain-soaked tower. It'll ruin my hair.

Celia: WAIT!!!! I'm coming!!!!

Cloud: Huh?

Celia: *Flies through window* Am I too late to do the interview!! CLOUD! YAY!

Cloud: Um…the shows over.


Celia: Dang.

Cloud: Yeah, that sucks.

Celia: Yep…so now what. I have now show, no characters, and no plot.

Cloud: Did you have a plot to begin with?

Celia: Good point. Oh well. *sniffles*

Cloud: Don't cry, you'll ruin the hair. Besides, I got tickets to Riverdance, and Tifa's busy on Saturday. Wanna come?

Celia: Riverdance? Sure, why not!

*So Cloud and Celia go off into the sunset, forgetting completely that they left the camera rolling*

Oi. Explain to me why I wrote that garbage, as fun as it was. Though I believe that it was four hour drive from one city to the next, during which my precious laptop's battery ran out, is the most-likely cause, I'm guessing it is the fact that I'm delaying writing the next chapter of the Diary. Oi…And yes, I know the whole 'ijit' deal is a shameless publicity stunt. Expect to see a lot of those. It's just me. First it was the Sly Eagle, then Red Draco, and then Kaori. Heck, you could be next. Just review and leave an address for me to go to. I e-mail back everyone who leaves their address, plus I read their stories. Find a lot of good ones that way.

And if I'm being too subtle for those of you out there who don't understand response starved author syndrome, PLEASE!!!!! I NEED MY FEEDBACK!!!!! NOW!!! AHORA!! PRONTO!! SO GET YOUR BUTTS OVER HERE AND READ MY STORIES!!!!!!!! *breaths heavily and calms down*

Ahem…don't know what came over me back there. Oh well, see ya lataz!

-Celia

The Mistress of Mayhem, Chaos, and always Nothing in general