I saw him through my lashes, the lids of my eyes hooded and heavy, my blood dragging through my body down into the depths of my core at a slow crawl. A hollowness carved out the space beneath my ribs, my limbs were shaking - just barely. His hands were a drug, creeping along my skin. His lips were fire against my clit, his tongue sharp and precise sending a cascade of moans from my mouth. I arched beneath his hold, writhing with all the feelings I'd kept at bay for so long.
But for him, I was breaking every rule I'd ever given myself.
I reached for him with swift fingers, clawing down his shoulders to return to me. I was ready, so ready. His ascension up my body was agonizing. He dragged his mouth, still wet with my taste, along every curve of my skin, leaving a trail of sloppy laps and licks in his wake. Sharp, preternatural teeth grazed the slope of my breast and my breath caught in my throat. I grit my teeth, centering myself. His hand fell to my ass, lifting my hips from the bed just as his lips found my nipple, sucking with bittersweet intensity - the only pain I lived for. With a fistful of my ass, he reached underneath my back with his free hand and lifted me. I felt high beneath his touch, shoving my chest into his while he buried his face in my neck, those animal's teeth nipping at the beating pulse shielded by such thin skin.
The wall slammed into my back and I cried out in surprise and only then did his mouth find mine, sucking in the sounds of my voice, greedily taking siege beyond my teeth. His cock was against the most tender skin of my thigh, so hard, so soft, and so close... I growled into his mouth, refusing to beg despite the way my hips rolled into him, restless and insistent.
This had become our home - the place we'd met each other as our truest selves. This was where I'd bow to him, and only him. This was where he conquered me, day and night. This was where we rebuilt ourselves after the war - after the death of my father and the breaking and remaking of the Cauldron. After I murdered the King of Hybern.
He entered me in one quick, forceful pump and the stretching pain that followed ached with familiarity. My head rolled across my shoulders, my fingers stealing scratches down his carved stomach leaving a trail of risen skin behind. His eyes met my weak, foggy stare heavy with his lust.
"For you," he said. "Always for you."
And I unleashed the desperation, peeling myself away from the wall lunging my mouth for his and we devoured each other as he fucked me until he broke me into millions of lost, unfixable pieces.
"Cassian," I mumbled into his neck, knowing I'd never needed anyone this way and never would again.
We collapsed onto the floor together, a tangle of sweat and shaking limbs. His hold on my body never loosened, in the same way his hold on me had never backed down since we met. Even then, though I hadn't admitted it to myself, he had broken me. Broken me in the best possible way. No longer was I terrified, my heart locked away and muted - hated. My defenses, every wall, shield, and barricade, were no longer my captors. Now, I had control. Now I wouldn't push away those I cared about most or distorted what love should be.
No. Now I had Cassian.