Disclaimer: I do not own Fairy Tail or its characters, that right belongs to Hiro Mashima.
She stared at the man before her, taking in his height, the color of his hair, his face, the way he held himself as he glared back. The broad shoulders, that led to a muscular chest and well-toned arms. His waist was slim with hips that flowed into long, muscular legs. Only to jerk her gaze back up to his face again. Narrowing her eyes at the man before giving a small shake of her head.
"There has to be a mistake here. I did not order...anything online recently... let alone a male-ordered husband," she said, her voice dropping a few octaves.
She watched as he crossed his arms over his chest, dropping his singular eye to the paper she held in her hands, before looking back up at her. The words unspoken, but very clear. She had the proof in hand that 'she had ordered him to be her husband'. Which was confusing because she knew for a fact she hadn't even been on her computer in the last two weeks. One reason being out at her family's middle of nowhere cabin, 'trying' to mend fences with her overbearing ass of a father. And two being that she hadn't had the internet hooked up in her new apartment in the month she'd been living there. Three, the real kicker, she hadn't even logged onto the net via any other computer or phone for the last two weeks.
"Look Tit's McGee, I was sent here because my company got an order for a husband, and that it stated the person wanted someone strong, resilient, with a sense of humor, that could protect their wife. With no care about background history," the man said, his voice a low rumbling tenor.
Pouting, Lucy knew that until this was figured out, she had to deal with the man. So, stepping back from her doorway, she motioned for him to enter. Which he did, though she noted he was a bit hesitant. Not caring as she shut the door after him, Lucy marched stiffly around his person, pointing to her small cream colored two-seater.
"Okay, until this is fixed, I guess you will be staying. So, let's set down some ground rules, this is my space, do not ever fucking rearrange it or I will make you a fucking soprano. Two that desk is to never be touched by you. What is on it is personal. Three, you may eat whatever you want in the apartment, but clean up after yourself. Lastly, you will sleep in the spare room for guest," she said, her voice clipped and cold like ice.
Turning around she looked up at the man, who was actually smiling down at her. And she felt a small flutter in her chest at it. Quickly though she quelled it. It had been a long time since that feeling had manifested in her heart and she wouldn't allow it now. The need to not be hurt very strong.
"That is all good and all Tit's McGee, but do you not even care to learn anything about me, my background? I mean letting a complete stranger just live with you for an undetermined amount of time. For all you know I could be a murder," the man said, his lips pulling up in a smile that showed her fangs.
Raising an eyebrow, Lucy pursed her lips as she thought about what he said. Those were valid points. But right now she really didn't fucking care. She had a midterm paper due for her Biochemistry Lab, which was her worse subject. A party to attend for a friend later. Said friends she would rather keep avoiding. Having been the one who hurt her heart deeply.
"Okay, what is your name, your specialties than if you will," she said, sounding very rude to even her ears.
The way the man just blinked that singular eye at her, Lucy was wondering if he was going to murder her.
"Erik, though most of my friends know me as Dokuryuu no Cobra," he said, only to pause when she let her jaw drop open. "What!?"
At his exclamation, Lucy shook her head and grinned up at him. This was her unlucky, yet lucky day. She knew his name, knew of him. The man was a genius scientist, though she had to wonder just how the hell he ended up on an online order a spouse site. He was renowned worldwide for this thesis and theories that were in a lot of Science journals.
"You have got to be shitting me. You... are one of the best scientists in the world!" she said, her voice coming out excited and breathey.
"Yeah. So, what?" he asked, his body tensing as she continued to look at him.
She couldn't help it, Lucy broke down into a fit of laughter. Hugging herself around the waist as she did so. Eyes crinkling at the corners from how hard she was laughing.
"You... are a mail order... husband? How the fuck did you manage that? Get bored of being one of the best and brightest out there?" she said around her fit of hysteria.
The deadpanned look he gave her had her sinking to her knees. Tears now pouring from her eyes as she snorted while trying to breathe in from laughing so hard. Her sides were starting to tell her that they were hurting from the sudden forceful exertion.
"I am so sorry... but that just... how?" she choked out.
The way he looked nonplussed down at her, as he spoke, "I have some really shitty friends. One who runs the damn site. And when that pink-haired monstrosity decided I needed a wife, she put me on the damn sight. Using our group moniker for my name, Cobra. So, what about you? If you didn't place this order, how the hell was I sent to this little shit hole?"
Lucy went still, her eyes going wide as it dawned on her. The feel of her lips pulling down into a frown as she immediately narrowed her list of suspects to one, and one person only. It was the type of prank he'd pull. And since he was still pissed at their mutual friend for hurting her. Wanting her to be happy that he'd go to great length to get her a permanent partner for life, Lucy growled. She didn't want his or anyone's help. But, she could use this to get some serious payback.
"Oh, I know the feeling, Erik. And I am pretty sure it was my best friend. Wanting to help me 'heal' from a broken heart," she hissed.
The way the man before her smiled, showing those fangs off again, had Lucy's stomach flip-flopping.
"I think our friends could use a lesson in humility and think before acting," he said. "And I mean you are pretty interesting Jigglypuff."
At his comment, Lucy nodded her head in agreement until he referenced her to a pokemon. Tilting her head to the side, she looked up at him confused.
"When you laugh or move, your chest jiggles like Jello. And I refuse to call you that, it would forever taint my favorite dessert. So, Jiggly Puff you are. I mean you are wearing enough pink," he said, his voice monotonous.
Puffing up her cheeks as she stood up. Taking care to move slowly. It was not her fault she had a large chest. Genetics were a royal bitch in that area for her. It made life a lot harder. Finding clothes that fit, and many other things.
"I guess that is a compliment since Jigglypuff is a cute ass pokemon, that can know anyone out with a song," she replied, sniffing at him. "But I do agree our friends could deal with a good lesson or two. So, since you were ordered online, wanna use that same method to screw with them? Maybe, set them up on a date... or have my pink haired friend be mailed to yours?"
The bright gleam in his amethyst eye told her all she needed to know. He was in for a penny and a pound. And possibly she might make a new friend out of this, one who could actually help her with her science homework.