R E N E E
"Turn your thoughts to the roots
As we've all been caught up in the branches
With roots above and branches below
Don't run if you don't know your walk,"
-"Sassafrass" - The Devil Wears Prada
The cold of Edward's hands didn't alleviate the numb I felt - it intensified. I sat quietly, dragging my jagged fingernails over the veins in my inner arm. I could see the veins pulsate through my nearly translucent flesh, and wondered if Charlie's blood could have seeped into mine through my skin. I wondered if I could hide the mark his death made on me - the dark circles under my eyes, the redness of my cornea from nights lying awake crying. From nights lying awake trying not to fall into nightmares. From nights hiding from the sun as if I would burn from the tender rays.
Jake met my eyes and smiled half-heartedly from his seat across me in the Cullen dining room. As quick as the smile crossed his face, it was gone, his eyes casting down to the hands he has steepled on the table. Sam sat besides him, commanding our attention with his powerful and solemn gaze. I only looked down at my lap, remembering the rouge of my father's blood splattered across my thighs. With a shudder, I turned towards the window.
"Bella claims she saw a wolf," Carlisle said, making sure to emphasis claims.
"I can assure you that it was none in my pack," Sam said. "They were all accounted for under my personal supervision at the time."
"It was a pack meeting," Jake chimed in.
"Perhaps you might want to question Bella further," Sam said. My eyes immediately snapped to his, full of personal accusations. He didn't falter.
Edward growled besides me. "Perhaps you all are not realizing the sensitivity of this subject."
"Perhaps you're not realizing the sensitivity of this subject!" Jake burst out. "For God's sake, Charlie is a family friend and you all are claiming we brutally murdered him! You all say that we're not in control of ourselves when that one," he nodded towards Jasper, "tried to take a snap at Bella last September. Aren't you the perfect fucking hypocrites - all of you! How do we know blondie over there didn't go berserk? Or Barbie doll got pissed off? We all know she has something against Bella!"
"You dog," Rosalie hissed through her teeth. "We're trying to play peacefully."
"Oh screw you doll face," Jake growled. "Peace is not jumping to conclusions. For god's sakes, Eddikins over there almost ripped the throat out of my friend, the professional wrestler swiped a chunk of my hair dragging me here, and I can't name the number of insults blondie has muttered the moment we stepped into this joint. So perhaps you want to reevaluate peace."
"Enough," Sam hissed, laying a hand on Jake's shoulder. "This is getting us no where quickly. There's a murderer out there…."
"You mean right in front of us?" Emmett muttered.
"Emmett," Carlisle hollered, his voice raising for the first time I've ever heard. Even I shrunk back. Edward hid my face in his chest, as if to shield me. I was immediately grateful for the escape.
"I told you that you wouldn't like it," he whispered.
"Let us look at this from what we do know and what we do have," Carlisle said over Edward. "I have not accused you of anything, wolf-brothers, yet I do believe I owe an apology on behalf of my family for their brutality tactics. They're protecting Bella."
Rosalie sniffed.
"As are we," Jake murmured regretfully. I peeked out from Edward's protective arms and noticed his black eyes focused on me, something deep and warm contained in their depths; something I likened to sympathy.
"We all have alibis," Carlisle said. When Sam's eyebrows arched, Carlisle elaborated. "I was at the hospital. Esme had come to visit me at my office today. Jasper and Rosalie, as well as Emmett went to see a public movie. Edward and Alice were in school."
"And there are humans to collaborate these stories?" Sam inquired.
Carlisle spread his arms wide. "Test us if you will. Ask a million humans, check satellite pictures. I do not care what means you go to; all I ask is for you to trust us. We have not faltered in the treaty once. There have been others, others outside of our family, but never us. Your ancestors know this as do you. Trust us."
"And trust us in return," Jake quipped.
Carlisle outstretched a hand. "I do not ask for friendship nor brother-ship - I ask for cooperation, loyalty, and trust."
"And we answer that call," Sam said, squeezing Carlisle's hand for a millisecond before dropping it like coals. I was fascinated by this; it seemed Sam and Carlisle grew a million feet. It seemed they became thousands of years old. Wisdom flickered in their eyes like firelight and cast a warm glow over the other immortals. The weight of their compact bore me further into Edward's arms - at least something good came out of this.
I mentally chided myself for even considering something so blasphemous.
They grew quiet, sizing each other up for a moment as if to test each other. Finally, Jake spoke.
"We have been experiencing different scents," he said, "on routine pack runs. We all know what Victoria smells like - we've hunted her since we destroyed the other one - Laurent. Yet these new scents are strange. They're so floral and…" his face flushed. "Mouthwatering. Like Bella's scent."
Edward's head snapped up.
"It's all over La Push and sometimes up near the mountains," Sam added. "They're all mixed up and confusingly; sometimes it feels like there's about twenty, yet they all have the exact same…I don't know, tenor. It's odd. We sense vampire, yet the smells don't match. They're more…pleasant, like our own."
Jake nodded to testify that fact. "We also have found Victoria - slain," he said. I met his eyes curiously. "But…it's odd again. We know of only two ways to kill a vampire. Either we kick their ass or you people rip them apart and set them on fire. This was neither. It looked like she was sleeping, only not breathing. We checked to make sure she was really out of it though," he added quickly, noticing the Cullens' conspicuous stare of disbelief. "And believe me, she isn't coming back."
"That's everything," Sam finished. "You all?"
Alice smiled joylessly. "I'm guessing that's why my visions have been so messed up lately. I've been keeping tabs on Victoria, and I kept seeing her disappear, then reappear, then disappear, then reappear. It was maddening. Then she just disappeared. I assumed it was werewolves - I cannot see you in my visions for some reason. But like you can sense vampires by senses, I can sense wolves in my visions. The entity I felt was…something I've never ever felt before.
"Right before Mr. Swan's death, I kept getting this one picture of a black wolf. Bright eyes. He was laughing, I think." Alice's smile wavered nervously. "I'm not so hip to what wolves laugh like."
Jake shook his head.
"I found this," Emmett said, slapping a piece of fabric on the table. "When Edward and I went scouting for scents earlier, we found this attached to a bush."
I looked at it curiously, images flickering through my brain like a slideshow. I saw dark eyes, a cloak, black fur…. It whirled around me until I felt faint.
My hand tentatively picked up picked up the black fabric. It shook between my fingers, waving like a leaf. It felt silky, and smelled deliciously like fresh fruit, most likely a part of a cloak. I closed my eyes, feeling tears cluster.
"Bella?" Edward asked, cupping my face. "Bella?!"
"I…it's familiar," I whispered, opening my eyes. I was swimming in blackness, trying to find away out….
I shook my head, my vision clearing, yet I kept seeming images that made no sense; the heroine from my dreams…my father slain…purple, ivory eyes…black fur….
I pushed my chair away from the table, not able to meet the vampires and wolves clustered around me, wondering fearfully what had come over me. "I…I think I'm going to get sick," I said uncontrollably and ran to the kitchen sink where I vomited the little I ate into the immaculate steel. One cold hand smoothed circles into my back, the other held my hair from my face.
"Elsewhere, please," Edward begged the council. I heard the shuffle of feet, clips of a conversation, and soon Edward and I were alone. I turned the sink on, watching with disgust the mashed up food fall into the garbage disposal. I wiped my mouth with a paper towel then swished some water around, spitting it out. I didn't notice the tears falling until Edward began to unceremoniously wipe them away.
Flushing I pulled away from him. He only pulled me tighter.
Slipping an arm underneath my legs, he carried me upstairs to his room. I ran frantically into the bathroom the moment my feet touched the floor. Closing the door and locking it, I sat cross-legged on the toilet, tears running freely.
Edward didn't saw a word.
I brushed my teeth in silence, gargled and spat, all while rubbing at my burning eyes. The smell of grapes were inescapable - the color purple seemed dominant in everything. Even when I glanced at my reflection in the mirror, I noticed the exact shade of the bags under my eyes - a reddish eggplant. Horrified, I splashed my face with water. When I looked up, Edward was sitting on the toilet seat like I had been, face drawn.
"I locked the door," I said.
"What the hell will locking the door do?" he questioned with a weak smile. I lowered my eyes and he groaned, anguished.
"Bella," he beckoned, reaching out for my hand. "This is hard for you - I know. It's difficult, and it hurts. Though I can't understand the caliber of that pain, nor the depth of your fear and horror, I am here. Please stop shutting me out. You've done that since I came back."
"Maybe you should have never left," I croaked. I slapped a hand over my mouth as if I had belched or let go an obscene profanity. My face turned a horrid red of shame, then guilt. The expression in Edward's eyes told me my comment hit below the belt.
"Love," he whispered, his voice sounding as if he was crying. "I am eternally apologetic - I sincerely am. I…I am imperfect. I made mistakes. I'm not what you deserve, I know, but please…please don't do this to me. Not now."
My brows snapped together and my mouth popped open. I wondered briefly if I would ever stop crying.
"I want to help you Bells - I want to make you feel better, but you're not letting me!" His voice grew passionate, hysterical. "I don't even know how! Bella!" Without my consent, he grabbed me into his arms and rocked us back and forth on the toilet seat, hiding his face in my neck. I clutched him for support, not ever wanting to let go. He smelled good, I noticed randomly, burying my hands in his hair and forcing him with all the human strength I have, to never move.
*
Similar to how I don't know when I fell asleep, I have no clue when I awoke.
Crushed between Edward and the back of the couch, I could hardly breathe - I didn't exactly mind it. It felt safe. Clutching his shirt with an iron grip, I buried my face into his chest, suffocating myself on his sweet scent. His fingers traced my spine, his lips kissing my hair softly.
"You slept quietly," he remarked - bait to tell him what I actually dreamed. I locked away images of the strange woman being killed before my very eyes, how she transformed into Charlie, into Renee, into Phil, into Angela and Mike and Jessica and Ben and Eric and even hateful Lauren. I didn't tell Edward how I stood there, my mouth ajar and my throat trying to scream as the monster turned to me, bloodthirsty eyes full of laughter and excitement as he sauntered closer. I didn't tell Edward that no matter how many times I cried out his name in hopes he'd save me, he never came.
But more importantly, I didn't tell Edward how once, I was the monster. I was the creature that preyed on my friends, reveling in the taste of their blood, coppery sweet, on my tongue. Shuddering, I closed my eyes once again, blocking out the images, the memories, until they were nothing but the bad dreams they actually were.
"Exhaustion," I murmured into his skin, my voice slightly cracking.
"You know I'm not an idiot." His voice was slightly agitated. "I can tell you're having nightmares. You can tell me."
I shook my head.
"Bella…you can talk to me. If you want," he added hastily. "But remember you are safe. I promise you, no, I vow on my life that not a hair will be touched on your head if I have the chance of preventing it." His arms tightened around me, crushing me to his being.
"I'm not worried about myself," I tried to explain.
"Bella…everything will work out…." He must has heard disbelief in the silence because he sighed. "We're going after it."
"What?" I nearly shrieked.
"You're in danger - everyone is in danger. We can't let this go," he said heatedly. "After we get your mother safe, we're going after it. Them. Oh god, I don't even know!"
"No!" I shouted, shaking my head vigorously. "Nononononono! Edward Anthony Mason Cullen, you are NOT going after it! I've watched everyone die, everyone before my eyes. I can't - NO." I pressed at him until he moved and I was allowed to pace the room. "NO."
"Bella, don't be difficult," he begged me.
"Don't leave me," I begged in return, taking out my Ace.
His eyes, ocher I noted, flickered darkly. He stood, face determined and soulful. Grabbing me into his arms, he kissed me so painfully I collapsed in his arms like Jell-O. "Never," he growled, weaving his fists into my hair. "Never."
Tears poured down my face, slipped between our lips.
B L A C K O U T
Mike stopped by first.
He came when school let out on Thursday, a week and two days later, offering a small card and a bear. He embraced me, much to Edward's displeasure, and left giving words of encouragement.
The next day, Jessica, Lauren (reluctantly), Angela, Eric, Tyler, and Ben all visited, I am told, but I was asleep at the time. The day after that, I got an email from Renee.
She was still oblivious to what had happened - when I went to respond, I couldn't find the words. I left the email blank on Edward's laptop.
When I didn't respond, she called my cell the day after. I answered and burst into tears. She coached me into telling her what happened. Soon we both sobbed into the phone.
"Oh Bella," she sighed unsteadily. "I didn't know…I'm coming to get you…."
I looked at Edward for help and he hesitated. Then he nodded. "I'll escort her here."
"Don't leave," I mouthed fearfully. Edward paused, then frowned.
"Emmett will," he pantomimed back. I felt oddly reassured.
"Bella?" my mom cried.
"Yes, I'm here," I answered. "Please come here."
"I'm taking you back to Phoenix," she said hurriedly. "I knew this was a bad idea."
"NO!" I shouted hysterically.
"Is this about the boy?" she inquired angrily.
"Yes…no…. Mom, I don't want to leave Forks." Which was a lie. I wanted to go to Switzerland. Who goes to Switzerland anyway? Most certainly, no one would find me there. I want to take everyone with me too.
But that's impossible.
So I'm grounded here, a useless protector who has crazy dreams that I shouldn't have because I'm 100 percent human.
"Is this about the lunatic who killed Charlie?" she demanded. "Do you know who it is? Are they threatening you? Are they listening to this phonecall right now? Omigod….."
"No mom!" I said. "Please, just…please, trust me."
She faltered on the phone. "Bella…I trust you."
Glancing at Edward, I began giving directions. "Order tickets tonight, okay mom? The Cullens will pick you up at the airport."
"Will you be there?"
Edward shook his head but I ignored him. "Yes."
"I love you, baby Bella," my mom said softly, sniffing.
"I love you too mom. Be safe."
"I will. You too. Tell that Edward to protect you if he values his life."
Smiling grimly, I said, "okay."