Burt got out of the car and shut the door, leaving Kurt with the groceries still in his lap. Can I get some help please? Ugh. Kurt hobbled out of the car, dangling the groceries in one hand, his schoolbag on the other shoulder and his iPod earbuds twisted up amongst it all. Grumpy, he followed his dad into the house, dropping everything on the kitchen counter.

"So what happened?" Burt finally said, having counted to ten and back several times.

"I told you. It's nothing." Kurt said, nervous but not too nervous to hold back on a little exasperation.

"Tell me about how 'nothing' it was." Burt pressed, grabbing the milk and putting it away in the refrigerator before taking out a beer.

Kurt sighed. "You wouldn't understand."

"Try. Me." Burt said, in a tone that let Kurt know he wasn't playing around.

Kurt pursed his lips, avoiding eye contact. "I got into an argument with Mr. Schuster in Glee club."

"…About?"

Kurt slumped. "About how I think we should be doing Britney Spears songs and he doesn't like her music."

That sounded about as dumb a thing to be arguing about as Burt had expected. "Since when do you 'argue' with teachers?"

"Da-ad…" Kurt whined.

"Does he even get paid to stay after school and listen to you kids sing? If he was the football coach you wouldn't be arguing back about the plays would you?"

Kurt pouted. "That's different."

"Why?"

"Because—football coaches are… scarier, I don't know."

"Ah so since Mr. Schuster isn't yelling in your faces like that Mr. Tanaka, you think it's an invitation to walk all over him?"

"No, I wasn't—UGH…" Kurt sulked.

"Because you need someone to holler at you I'm certainly available young man. Seems like a pretty nice guy to be taking time after school every other day. And you choose to be so obnoxious you get yourself sent to the principal's office?" Burt took a swig of his beer, irritated. He probably wouldn't be so upset if Kurt had gotten in trouble in math class or something—this just seemed ludicrous.

"I wasn't being obnoxious!"

"Right."

Kurt stared past his dad, feeling sorry for himself. "I just… told him he should stop being so friggin' uptight all the time," he muttered, squirming a bit inside.

Burt nodded. "You've got a problem with your mouth."

Kurt shrugged and looked away, uncomfortable. Can you just get on with it and say I'm grounded or whatever?

"You're grounded. No going out after school this week and I'm changing the wi-fi password until Monday."

"Dad! That's not fair!"

"I decide what's fair."

"You're being ridiculous."

"You're welcome to your opinion, but I think you get an awful lot of slack around here kiddo. You get a lot more independence than some kids and you know good and well I've let your sarcasm slide more than not these days. And if the teacher called and said you were forgetting your homework or daydreaming during English or something, I probably wouldn't even much care. But I didn't raise you to be fresh to grownups, and that Mr. Schuster is a nice guy who doesn't deserve to have a teenager talking back to him like that."

"Da—adddd—"

"Look, the very best cure I know for a smart mouth is a smarting bottom young man, so personally I'd quit while I was ahead if I was you."

Kurt scoffed. It had been at least a couple years since he'd gotten a spanking. Well, aside from maybe a couple swats here and there, but that didn't—really—count. "I'm 16, Dad."

"Sure not acting like it today."

Unable to come up with an argument to that, Kurt changed tactics. "All my shows are on Hulu now. I need the wi-fi to even watch anything—"

"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize a punishment was supposed to be convenient."

"I already got punished! I had to go to Mr. Figgins and I got a detention! It isn't fair to also—"

Burt chuckled. "Your grandfather's got to be rolling over in his grave, Kurt. I visited the principal's office more than once and let me tell you every time I sure as hell knew to expect to feel a paddle warm up my backside at home after. And he wasn't taking inventory about how much I'd already been punished at school. You get in a habit of stepping out of line like this and we'll start taking some steps out of his playbook, young man. "

Kurt scowled. He didn't like where this was going. "You can't… spank me."

Burt put down his drink, stern. "I can, and I will, if that's what your behavior shows me you're needing. But if you insist that you're too 'grown up' for a spanking from my hand, I'm sure I can find something else to use."