You mean forgiveness
Out of all the people in Fairy Tail, Juvia was probably one of the most sinful. That wasn't something that people would say about her but in truth, she was in need immediate atonement. At least that's how she sees it. Sometimes, she cannot bear to look at herself in the mirror when she wakes up in the morning, or look upon her reflection in her water. All she sees is a sinner.
She has wronged, blamed, and hurt so many people in the past that Juvia felt unable to remember all of their names and faces. She is aware that her circumstances didn't allow her to become happy or positive, but that was no excuse to do the horrible things she had done. She didn't have to inflict the pain that she had felt towards the innocent.
Juvia found herself turning away from her reflection, frowning at the quick sight of her face. Padding quietly towards her tiny kitchen, Juvia allowed herself to relax upon smelling the familiar scent of warm tea. Fixing herself a cup, she went outside.
Juvia had always believed that she would have to pay for her sins one of these days. In what manner, she didn't really care, as long as she would be rid of the shame and the guilt. But that wasn't the way forgiveness worked and she knew that. It was something that she would have to earn.
When Gray caused her rain to cease, it was a catalyst for change in her. She had always thought that the rain was something the gods had cursed her with for being a bad child. It taunted her with every drop, as if washing away multitudes of sins and darkness. Now that she doesn't have it to erase her wrongs, her guilt increases tenfold. She knows now that her rain was both her curse and her blessing.
Closing her eyes, Juvia tries to regain the semblance of peace that she had a while ago. Losing to the visions of Phantom Lord and to the thought of Silver's death, she clutches at her chest.
Later on when she enters the guild, the sight of her friends makes her feel unworthy of any form of attention yet she knows she craves it like oxygen. She wills herself to approach them and make herself comfortable beside the man who always has a reserved seat waiting for her. She doesn't look at him.
Everyone greets her cheerfully before returning to their previous discussions and she smiles. This is how she envisions living her life, atoning for everything that she has done by being with these people and being of service to them. Every day, they peel of a layer of her darkness with every single glance and word of acceptance. They know how she is suffering. They know because they feel the same.
Gray keeps silent beside her, and she is aware that he knows she is beating herself up again. She thanks him silently for not verbalizing it. This is the way between them sinners. She forgives him with her undying love and he forgives her with his acceptance and protection. The things that they receive from one another are the things they need most.
Juvia is not surprised to feel his cold hand taking hers underneath the table. She interlaces their fingers and smiles gratefully at him. He smirks in response and they return their gazes back to their friends.
They don't need to talk about it. They don't even need to admit it to each other. In times of distress and in their episodes of depression, Gray simply needs to hold her in any way just like he always does, and Juvia is forgiven. And in turn, Juvia simply needs to burrow herself further into his heart and smile at him like he is her salvation, for Gray to know that she forgives him as well.
He takes the time to bring her home, after an uneventful day. Their hands are no longer clasped but the warmth remains on their palms and fingers. They walk leisurely beside each other, not too close and not too far. The calm that settles between them is one that they have worked on for years, mastering it with every walk that they took together. Juvia could only describe it as solace.
Juvia feels the dread of returning back to solitude but she knows it will be a little bit easier this time. With her friends' knowing glances and Gray's quiet support, her heart feels a little lighter. Upon reaching her quaint home, she doesn't hesitate in giving Gray a gentle kiss on the cheek. She descends to her feet and offers him another one of her grateful smiles.
"Thank you Gray-sama" She whispers quietly. They both know what she is grateful for. He gets over the initial splutter and embarrassment he feels quickly and pinches her cheek before caressing the sore spot fondly. Juvia pouts at him and he laughs.
"Any time Juvia" He says, smirking at her again before turning away.