Unscathed

A/N: This story contains mature themes, including semi-graphic depictions of violence and various forms of assault.

Chapter 3:

She wakes to the sound of the door opening. She blinks up as light from the stairwell floods the room. As soon as it does, she tenses. Tyson stands there in the doorway, his gun leveled lazily on her head.

She squeezes Alexis' shoulder and feels the girl stir, feels her corresponding horror as she realizes just where they are, and who's standing in the doorway.

"Morning, ladies," he says, his voice jovial. "Sleep well?"

Together, she and Alexis haul their way up the wall. She pulls Alexis slightly behind her and backs them into the far corner, as far away as they can get.

"What's your plan here, Tyson?" she asks.

He cocks his head, peering at her. "Like that's going to work," he offers. "I thought I should give you your food for the next week. Start the day off right with breakfast," he continues.

She watches with dread as he tosses a single loaf of white bread into the center of the room. It lands without falling out of its plastic bag, devoid of even a twist tie.

"Eat slowly," he cautions with a grin, before turning and slamming the door.

She supposes it's a blessing he didn't do anything else. But how long will that hold?

"Thank God," Alexis mumbles, moving out from behind Kate to grab the bag. "We should live, right? A week on this? We get a piece a day."

"A piece and a half for you," Kate counters. "I'll be fine."

Alexis gives her a sardonic look. "Because you're superwoman?"

"Because I'm the adult, and I say so," Kate tosses back.

Alexis lets out a dark laugh. "Some adult you are."

"Excuse me?"

"Afraid to say I love you. Who are you, Rory Gilmore?"

Kate just stares, watching as Alexis reaches in and pulls out a piece of bread. She—but—really? Really, after what she's put her father through, the girl is able to joke like that?

"What?" Alexis mumbles around the piece. "I get punchy without food."

"Apparently," Kate mutters, walking over to take half a piece. She's honestly not sure how much she can stomach at this point. She's queasy. Which, thinking about head injuries, isn't a good thing.

She watches Alexis eat, notes the tension in the young woman's frame. It makes her think of Castle—Castle who's never denied Kate her coping mechanisms. Castle who gets punchy when he's scared. Alexis must be terrified. Kate is.

But nothing is going to happen to Alexis. She'll make sure of it.

Oh, God, eating was not a good idea.

She bolts toward the toilet. Her knees hit the hard cement floor and she loses the little bit of bread she'd swallowed. She coughs, the room spinning beneath her. She feels Alexis grabbing her hair and holding it back.

She rests her cheek against the toilet seat and grimaces. At least they're already dirty. She just needs the room to stop spinning, so she can stand up and stoop to get some water in her mouth from the sink.

"You really hit your head," Alexis says softly.

"Yeah," Kate croaks. "Shit."

"Okay. We should…you shouldn't have slept, right? I should have woken you up. God, I—"

"No," she manages, struggling back to her feet. "I'm fine. I'll be okay. I've had worse."

Alexis' eyes flit to her chest. Kate nods and turns, rinsing her mouth a few times before forcing down a little water.

"Drink," she tells Alexis.

Alexis eyes her critically before doing as she's told. They can do this. She just…needs to sit down.

Kate stumbles over and collapses against the wall. She watches blearily as Alexis follows suit. At least there's nothing to make her concussion worse—no reading, no writing, no heavy cognitive work.

They sit quietly together for a long time, the bread tossed into the far corner, Alexis's shoulder pressed to Kate's.

"We're really screwed, aren't we?" Alexis whispers a few hours later.

"Yeah," Kate admits, reaching out and taking her hand. "We are."

(…)

He's not worried, really. So she went out last night and didn't leave a note, and it's going on 9am. He's pissed, but he's not worried.

It's not like her to not leave a note.

Then again, she's been out all night before. With Lanie, no less. And he hasn't exactly been reachable, out writing. He's been off all week.

Still.

He sighs and gets up from his desk. He'd brought pizza home for them to share last night, to try and get himself out of his funk. Jacinda—Jacinda didn't do it. Well, more, he couldn't do it.

He wanders into the kitchen, scrubbing a hand over his face. He was just hoping to have pizza with his kid after a pointless afternoon spent at the Old Haunt. It didn't help that he sat in their booth. It's not the same without—

No, he's not going to think about…her.

Last night was about his baby girl, who's growing up too fast and leaving the nest.

But she's not home.

And he just feels…off. Something is just so off. It's not like her to not come home, especially without telling him. But he's sure…well, he's sure she just forgot, caught up with Paige.

But he called Paige's parents, and she wasn't there. Paige was at a slumber party though, and her mom thought Alexis might be with her. But she would have told him, right?

Where is she?

He pulls out his phone. He's called a few times, but it's gone straight to—

Her phone is on the counter. How did he not notice that her phone is on the counter?

She wouldn't have left without her phone, would she?

Something in his stomach bottoms out. She's been gone all night, and he's been telling himself not to jump to stupid conclusions, his "writer's mind," playing tricks again.

But the last time he thought it was a trick, he and his mother were nearly blown to bits in that bank.

Fuck it. He's calling her.

It rings. And rings. And goes to voicemail.

Damnit, Beckett.

He angrily taps on Esposito's photo. Kate—well, forget Kate, then.

"Yeah?"

He nearly growls. "Esposito, it's Castle."

"I know it is," Esposito says, clipped. "What do you want?"

Woah. "Um, I—"

"'Sito, Beckett's phone's down the street from Castle's place," he hears.

"What?" he asks.

"I have to go, Castle."

"No," he nearly shouts. "Alexis."

"What about Alexis?" Esposito grunts. He can hear the man moving, Ryan jabbering into his phone loudly next to him, snippets of "missing" and "GPS" and "backup."

"She's missing."

"What?" Well, that got his attention.

"She's—she didn't come home last night, and she doesn't have her phone on her, and I just…I have this awful feeling."

"We're coming by your place. Meet us down the block in ten," Espo says before clicking off.

What the hell? Why are they coming to his place? What does Beckett's phone have to do with his place?

He stomach twists painfully. No. There's just no way. Kate's just dodging his calls.

She has to be just dodging his calls.

(…)

"Kate," Alexis whispers.

Kate blinks her eyes open. She's slumped over on the floor, the cement oddly pleasant and cool beneath her cheek.

"It's been two hours," Alexis says apologetically.

Kate nods and slowly pulls herself back up to sit. "You okay?" she roughs out.

Alexis nods. "You?"

Kate sits quietly, assessing. "Yeah. A bit better maybe," she says.

"Well, that's good."

They turn as the door opens again. Tyson walks into the room, leaving the door open a crack, held there with a piece of pipe. He keeps his gun leveled on Alexis.

"You. In the middle of the room," he directs.

"No," Kate says, standing swiftly, a hand on the wall to hide her unsteady stance. "Me."

Tyson considers her. She watches as he toys with something in his pocket. "Okay, Detective," he decides. "Come here. You," he adds to Alexis, "in the corner."

Kate waits until Alexis follows orders, until she's safely in the corner of the room. Safe—an absurd notion—there's maybe five feet of space between the teen and Tyson. But it's better than the foot of space between Tyson and Kate.

He smiles at her, his face calm, the gun leveled at Alexis.

She doesn't have a plan, can't risk trying to disarm him. If she fails, Alexis will be dead. There's no use escaping if they don't get out together. She can't go home without her. She can't ever see Castle without bringing his daughter back. Hell, forget Castle. She'd never be able to see herself in a mirror if she doesn't bring Alexis back with her.

"Now, why did you volunteer?" Tyson asks, withdrawing a blade from his pocket.

Kate swallows but doesn't flinch. It's small. He's not going to kill her, not yet, at any rate.

"Why not let the girl take it? Your head's already suffering. You've been shot. She's young. She'll heal."

Kate thinks fast. This is her moment, if she's going to keep Alexis safe, this is her only chance.

"What's more fun?" she asks. She hears Alexis make a small sound in the corner. "Sending her home mutilated, or sending her home broken?" She just prays that Alexis won't take any of this to heart. That girl is going home whole.

"Broken? She looks perfectly fine to me," Tyson says, glancing at Alexis as he drags the flat edge of the blade, a pocket-knife, up Kate's neck. "You, though," he adds, carelessly flicking his wrist.

She withholds a hiss as the knife slices across her cheek—just a shallow graze, but damnit it stings.

"You're looking tattered already, Detective."

Kate forces her eyes open, forces herself to stand still, stoic. "Yeah, you could slice her up. But sending her home a shell? Traumatized? Making Castle watch her go through years of therapy, only to come out lonely and unable to trust on the other side? That sounds more up your alley to me."

Tyson takes a step back and stares at her. "Interesting, assuming she goes home at all," he says.

Kate just stares him down. She'll go home.

After a moment, he flicks his eyes to Alexis and he shrugs. "And you?" he asks, looking back to Kate.

"I'm already broken," Kate offers. "He's never seen me whole to begin with. But now, if he does, every time he looks at me, he'll think of you." She points to her cheek, swallowing against the realization.

Tyson eyes her, his gaze flicking between the two women. "Fine," he says after a minute. "You can take it all, Detective. It'll be more fun to make her watch." He slips the knife into his pocket then strikes her, his hand landing on her sliced cheek in a hard slap.

"Have fun," he says to Alexis, before stalking out of the room.

Kate wavers, sucking in air as the door slams shut. Oh, God. She raises her hand and gingerly touches her face. She hisses and drops her hand. She hears Alexis moving behind her.

"I didn't mean it," she whispers, glancing back toward the girl. "You're not going to wind up broken."

"I don't want you to protect me," Alexis says.

Kate looks over and finds her leaning against the wall, arms crossed over her chest, her hair fraying and wild in fly-aways across her face.

Kate shakes her head. "Cop instincts," Kate deflects. "You can't stop them."

Alexis huffs. "I'm not going to let you—"

"Yeah, you are," Kate tells her, holding up her hand. "Do you want to go home like this?" she continues, pointing to her cheek. "Do you want to look at your Dad and have him staring back with a broken heart every single time he looks at you?"

Alexis stares at her, her eyes wide, jaw open. "What?"

"Because I don't," Kate says. "I don't want to watch your Dad look at you like that. I can't look at you like that. So call me selfish."

Alexis takes a breath, then shakes her head. "That's ridiculous."

"I'm already damaged," Kate repeats, tugging her shirt up so Alexis can see the incision site along her side. "A few more scars won't kill me."

"They won't kill me either," Alexis argues, her face hardening.

"Yeah they will," Kate says. "I don't want you to end up like me."

"What?"

Kate sighs and scrubs her hands through her hair, searching for the words. "'I'd hate to think I'd raised a kid who couldn't say 'I love you,'" she quotes.

Alexis lets out a startled laugh. "Really?"

"Yeah, well, I give your Dad enough advice." God, really? All she has is Gilmore Girls. They're so screwed.

"Thanks for that," Alexis offers reluctantly as she slides back down the wall to sit. "But I still don't—"

"You're not winning this argument," Kate says sternly, as sternly as she can as she staggers to the wall and joins Alexis on the floor.

"I don't want to watch Dad look at you like that either," Alexis says quietly a few minutes later.

"He already does," Kate admits. "Has ever since I took the bullet. So really, it's no trouble."

"No—letting him torture you is no trouble?" Alexis lets out, loud and angry.

"Shh," Kate says, turning to meet Alexis' eyes. "It was just a slice."

"And the next time?"

"I'll deal," Kate decides. "One of us is getting out of this intact, Little Castle. It's going to be you."

Alexis stares at her for a long moment, then nods. She bends her head and fiddles with her fingers in her lap.

"Thanks," she whispers.

Kate smiles and reaches out, squeezing her hand. "Always."

(…)

It's not as nice the next morning. The next morning, he trails the blade down her stomach and forces her to take off her shirt. The second time there's a demonic look in his eyes. The second time, he goes straight for her scar.

"Already broken, Detective?" he taunts, running the flat of the blade across her incision site. "So broken it no longer hurts?"

It takes every single thing she has to keep still, to keep the sobbing in, to breathe through the panic clawing hot and tight up her chest, roiling in her stomach.

He cuts her open. He slices through her scar and she can't help but cry out. He laughs as she pants, laughs and cuts just a bit deeper. She can feel the blade between the flaps of her skin, her mind splintering, fragments of an operating table and bright lights and Castle and the grass. The blue, blue sky. Kate, I love you. I love you, Kate.

She doesn't notice when he leaves.

"Kate."

Kate, I love you. I love you, Kate.

The words repeat, unending, as she collapses to the floor. Shit. Shit. She didn't notice when he left. But Castle's there, and then he's gone. His eyes swim in and out of her vision. The grass. The cemetery. Her father's cabin.

I love you, Kate.

"Kate!"

She blinks, heaving in air, a crumpled mess on the floor, her head pressed to her knees.

"Kate," Alexis repeats, her voice softer, sad.

"Sorry, Castle," Kate manages, taking a shaking breath that fills at least half of her lungs. "I'm sorry."

There's a pause. "It's okay," she hears.

Wrong Castle, but it'll do.

"I'm sorry," she repeats. "I didn't see him leave. Are," she manages to sit back up and turn to look at the terrified teen kneeling on the dirty floor with her. "Are you okay?"

Alexis nods. "He laughed his way out. I'm fine."

"Good," Kate says, accepting Alexis' hand. The girl pulls her up and then stoops to look at her knife wound.

She has a knife wound. Her cheek twinges dully. She has two knife wounds.

"You should put your shirt back on," Alexis says softly.

"Yeah," Kate agrees, unsure as to why, but willing to do anything that feels moderately productive—anything that makes Alexis relax even a bit.

"We should clean that tonight, best we can," Alexis adds as she helps Kate get the shirt back over her head. "It could get…infected."

Oh, God. It hadn't even occurred to her.

"Yeah," Kate manages, staggering her way to the wall to slide down and sit. "Yeah," she repeats.

"You sure you're—well, of course you're not," Alexis says, bending to sit cross-legged in front of Kate. "Can I help?"

Kate takes a few deep breaths, willing the panic back. Yes, this is awful. Yes, he cut her surgery scar. Yes, she's been violated and tortured and hurt. But she's still alive, and Alexis is alive in front of her. There's no sniper, no green green grass, no Castle professing his undying love.

She can do this. She can come out of this. She has to.

"How's school?" she asks, forcing herself to meet Alexis' eyes.

Alexis makes a choked sound. "School?"

"Distraction," Kate explains.

"Oh," Alexis mumbles. "Oh, okay. Um. It's good. It's almost over. I have finals in a few weeks."

"You feel ready?"

Alexis nods. "It's just for one class. I finished everything else—you know," she adds. "Lanie said she'd take me to the Columbia Medical School for a tour. I don't know that we'll get to that now."

"You can go over the summer," Kate tells her. "I'm sure she'd set up interviews for you too. She's got a lot of contacts there."

"Yeah," Alexis agrees.

A thought occurs to Kate then. "Alexis, are you the valedictorian?"

Alexis meets her eyes, surprised. "I—yeah, I am."

"Congratulations," Kate says, genuine. She can feel the burn across her cheek as she smiles at Castle's kid, the intense flare of pain against her side as she shifts. "Your dad said you were up for it, but we, um, lost touch a bit before I could ask him if you'd gotten it."

"Oh," Alexis says. "Well, yeah. I—yeah."

"That's amazing," Kate tells her.

"I guess," Alexis offers with a shrug. "It's not like I worked that hard for it."

"You go to one of the most competitive schools in the city. That's a big deal," Kate assures her.

"I guess," Alexis repeats.

"You don't look very excited," Kate notes.

Alexis glances around. "Yeah."

"Because of this?"

"Yes," the girl replies, too quickly. Kate waits, wondering if she'll—"Well, no. I mean I—I got into Columbia and decided to go. That was a big deal. This is just…icing, I guess."

"And it's not your flavor?"

"I'm not big on speeches," Alexis admits. "And I don't—Dad and Gram will be there, but it's not like they don't already know anything I'd say."

Kate watches as Alexis picks at her jeans, and a thought occurs to her. "Is your mom coming?" she asks quietly.

Alexis huffs out a sound. "She can't," she says.

"Why not?"

"She'll be on a shoot," Alexis says, her voice calm, like it's practiced.

"That sucks."

Alexis shrugs. "I didn't really expect her to."

Kate doesn't believe that for a second. "I'm sure you guys can get a video."

"Yeah," Alexis agrees.

"And I'm sure, if you wanted, your dad would put on a whole re-enactment."

Alexis snorts. "Yeah."

They fall silent for a few minutes. Kate wracks her brain, trying to find something to distract the increasingly nervous teenager in front of her. A distraction for herself wouldn't hurt either.

"You excited about college?" Alexis nods glumly. "Alexis?"

"If we get out, yeah," she whispers.

"Hey," Kate says, reaching out to take the girl's hands, ignoring the way the world is spinning just a little bit. "We are getting out of here."

"How many times is he going to hurt you before we do?" Alexis asks, meeting her eyes. "How many times is he going to come down and make me watch? I just—I," she cuts herself off and looks down at their hands.

"I'm going to be fine," Kate tells her, trying to match the tone Castle has had so many times before—the way he can comfort. He always makes that unending confidence seem so easy. She feels like a pale facsimile.

"You just collapsed," Alexis counters.

Kate sighs. "Look," she starts, fighting against the clutch of her chest—of mine, mine, mine. "I have," she pauses again. Yet another thing she should be telling the Big Castle. "I have PTSD," she says quietly.

"What?" Alexis gasps.

"Hey, hey," Kate placates as Alexis shifts, looking like she wants to jump up. "I'm okay. I just—sometimes I have panic attacks. It's fine."

"You—and you let me let him cut you open? What you were—"

"I didn't let you let him," Kate asserts, holding fast to Alexis' wrists. "He's going to do whatever he wants. You are not letting him hurt me."

"I didn't stop him," Alexis exclaims.

"How would you have stopped him?" Kate presses. "Alexis, you're safe. That's what I care about. A few scars, a few cuts—I'll survive."

"But," Alexis says.

"I'm fine. I have a good therapist."

"You—that's—that is the weakest reason ever," Alexis decides.

Kate laughs hollowly. "Yeah. But I've gotten through it before. Maybe you'll come with me, help you get over this guilt complex you're building."

Alexis rolls her eyes but squeezes Kate's hands. "Maybe."

Kate smiles. "Okay. So. Tell me about Columbia," she says, tugging until Alexis settles next to her, until she can wrap her arm over the teen, fighting against the chill of the basement she can feel creeping back into her bones as she relaxes. At least it lessens the sting of the cuts.

"Why?" Alexis asks.

"Because the room is spinning, and you're freaked out, and you've got a future we should plan."

Alexis considers her words quietly and Kate lets her. She stares across the room at the aging cinder block wall.

"Okay," Alexis whispers. "I'm supposed to hear about my roommate soon."

"Hopes?" Kate asks, making her voice light. They can do this.