A/N: Transition chapter between innocence and the monsters that result.

I lost my innocence today
I could feel her in my bones
My bones, my bones, my bones
My blood, my blood, my blood, my blood

And I woke up, tired, scared and sad
Soaked, drained, I felt so bad
Today, today, today
What you still, you still, you still, you still
Won't you say, you say, you say, you say
What you feel, you feel, you feel, you feel
Which is nothing but hollow feelings, yeah
I can, done, I just don't care

And forget happiness, I'm fine
I'll forget everything in time
I swear I didn't know,
You know me, how I can't let go
And we're not guts, we're just hacks
All that life the cracks
The scars, the scene that breaks
The ugly teens, the worst mistakes
And everywhere I see her face
Such a beautiful child, such an awful waste
And there's no innocence like hers
Just emptiness and nerves

And this light from the window of my car
She'll never see it, oh my God
I was so surprised, it blew up in my face
Lord, I lost my nerve, oh my God
Oh my God, oh my... God

And I tear, I tear, so hard
And I tear, I tear, so hard
And I beg and scream, "I was wrong"
It's over, she's gone
-The Airborne Toxic Event, Innocence

We pulled over once. Just so I could puke into the drooping wildflowers and weeds on the side of the road. The closer we got, the better we could smell the smoke. By the time we pulled into Aiden's driveway, in front of our two lovely Victorian homes, we could smell the bodies of our parents. They smelled like food. Like meat barbeque. Like so much gristle and muscle.

I sat, numbly in the car. Aiden jumped out, and rushed into the flames. It would have been a better story if I had yelled for him to come back, to not leave me, not ever again. It would have made me look better if I had gotten out of the car and run into the house. It would have at least seemed intelligent, if a bit cold, if I had told him it was too late, that there was no use in us killing ourselves. I wish I could say I knew they were gone.

But I didn't know.

All I knew in that moment was that the second I moved, I would have to carry on my life. I would have to act like a normal human being. I would have to leave every scrap of innocence clinging to the leather seats of Aiden's sedan. There would be no clutching the shreds to me, to cover me. I would be totally and completely naked.

So I stayed in the car.

A man ran out of the building, his blonde hair in a ratty ponytail. Aiden charged out of the flames after him as cop cars and fire trucks screeched into our driveway. I would have liked to say that I was trying to get a description of my parent's murderer, that that is the reason I stared after the man who ruined my life so single-mindedly. But honestly, I could not look at Aiden. I wanted to avoid the telling expressions in his face. So I stared at the man as he tore out of my driveway in a flurry of sleek black car and chrome rims. And when he looked back at me, when he menacingly drew a thin finger across his neck, I smiled at him. I would stay alive just to torture him, just to be the one who got away. Even if it killed me inside.